A Year In The Life of Matt Sutton
Sunday, December 31, 2006; 10:17 p.m.
Continuing on the movie theme, me and Jason saw Rocky Balboa in Danville this afternoon. My dad was supposed to join us, but due to unforseen circumstances, he had to miss out on all of the fun. But no matter, let's not let that stand in the way of an awesome movie.
And I'm not kidding when I say Rocky Balboa is awesome. Very awesome. The performances, the direction... everything about the movie is wonderful. I'm a fan of the Rocky series and Sylvester Stallone, so I may be a little biased. But thta doesn't stop the movie from being amazing. If I have any complaints at all, it's that the movie could have been maybe half an hour longer so it could delve deeper into the motivations of the Mason Dixon character. There's a few scenes with him, but nothing to really make him seem like a fully fleshed-out character.
So aside from that one complaint, I have nothing bad to say about Rocky Balboa. It's a tremendous movie that I very much enjoyed, and I'll gladly give it four stars. Go check it out.
Meanwhile, it'll be the new year in somewhere around two hours. I don't really have any plans, nor do I have that big "year in review" post prepared yet, so I'm probably going to just slap something together at the last minute. We'll see.
Saturday, December 30, 2006; 2:44 p.m.
I mentioned yesterday that I'd been putting work into the second half of my Bad Movie Double Feature. I braved the awfulness (is that a word?) of the moie, and I've finally got the double feature done. So from my viewing horror to your reading pleasure are my reviews of Uwe Boll's masterpieces, Alone In The Dark and BloodRayne. And feel free to check out the first part of Boll's game movie trilogy, House of the Dead.
I'm just glad to finally be done with these. I think they've scarred my poor, fragile psyche.
Friday, December 29, 2006; 12:19 a.m.
Finally, I've got the second half of that much-discussed Bad Movie Double Feature in from Netflix. So now I can finally get the blasted thing done and I can forget I ever decided to do it in the first place. I got about halfway through the movie before I simply couldn't take it any more and I hit the Stop button. It's so awful, I couldn't bring myself to watch the second half. Of course, I'll have to end up watching the whole thing so I can finish the review. But I'm not really looking forward to that at all. If it weren't for my infernal sense of professionalism, the review would just read, "This movie sucks." Every word of that one sentence review would be accurate, but I just have to do these in-depth dissertations. I hope you readers appreciate how much I suffer for my craft.
However, I do have three or four new additions to my DVD collection I'd like to review at some point in the future. And they're not as bad as the one I'm currently doing, which is a plus. I'd much rather watch movies I'd like as opposed to movies I wouldn't, after all. Though I will admit that there is a certain joy in ripping a bad movie to shreds if it gives me enough material to do so. Those bad movies that leave me depressed afterwards, I'd rather pretend those didn't exist.
But the sooner I'm done with this one review, I'm better. From there I can move on to better movies, ones that don't make me want to commit seppuku by merely thinking its name. You readers better be glad I'm faithful to what I do.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006; 6:56 p.m.
Myself, Jason, and our Anderson County posse did go see the remake of Black Christmas last night after all. We managed to catch the 9:35 show at the Fayette Mall theater in Lexington, and the place was still absolutely packed. I thought it was odd that the parking lot was crowded, but I had just hoped everyone was there to see one of the other movies that came out this weekend. But just our luck, there was a whole lot of people wanting to see Black Christmas. It was so crowded that we ended up having to split up and sit in two separate parts of the theater to make sure we could all have a seat.
So about the movie. What do I say about Black Christmas? It's goofy as all hell. The cast is mediocre. The killer's backstory is almost too bizarre for its own good. The characters are kinda flat and aren't exactly the most likable of people. Both the script and the pacing could use some work. But so help me, I actually had fun watching the movie. I probably shouldn't have, but I actually enjoyed the movie. Perhaps it's the novelty of seeing a silly slasher movie on Christmas Day? That could be part of it, I guess. But Black Christmas struck me as being some kind of homage to the dumb slashers of the '80s, which I thought was some of its charm. The cast all give it their best in spite of the material they're given, and Glen Morgan's direction isn't bad in spite of the movie's uneven pacing. But I just can't really recommend it to anybody but those who like ludicrous horror movies. I'm gonna give it three stars since I didn't hate it, but it didn't exactly make me want to run back out and see it again as soon as I could.
At least it wasn't as bad a remake as Pulse or When A Stranger Calls. And thank God for that.
Monday, December 25, 2006; 2:31 p.m.
I hope everyone is having a great Christmas today. There was a little rough patch at Sutton HQ, but nothing to worry about. Everything is A-OK, and the day is going to be a good one. I just wish we had a little snow instead of all this horrible rain. I hate getting rain when what I really want is snow for Christmas. I'm a big fan of snow.
And as my present for you, my faithful readers, I give you my review of the all-time holiday classic A Christmas Story. Go check it out. I must also admit that I wrote the review in record time: five hours. It's the fastest I've ever written a review, and hopefully, it doesn't come across as being half-assed or anything like that.
But that's about it for this post. I'm going to get back to the holiday festivities. And maybe, just maybe, I might be heading up to Lexington tonight to check out the remake of Black Christmas. Because there's no better way to celebrate the birth of Jesus than watching Michelle Trachtenberg and Lacey Chabert being stalked by a serial killer.
Sunday, December 24, 2006; 2:09 p.m.
Man, where does all the time go? It seems like the year was just starting yesterday. And now it's Christmas Eve, and a week from tomorrow, it won't even be 2006 anymore. I guess time really does fly.
Right about now, I'm wondering what I'll end up doing for a "Year In Review" type of thing. I am working on my annual "Sutton At The Movies" Achievement Awards, so there'll be that. But I'm not too sure what else I'd like to do to ring in the new year here at the Experience. I'll probably just end up slapping something together at the last minute. I figure I'm pretty good at winging it, so I'm sure I can work up a decent year-end post.
But more importantly right now, tomorrow is Christmas Day. I can't speak for everybody else, but it really feels like Christmas just snuck up out of nowhere. It probably doesn't help that stores started stocking all their Christmas stuff back at Halloween. Pretty soon, they're going to start stocking Easter stuff at New Year's, Halloween stuff on the fourth of July, and Christmas stuff is going to be up all year round. I hate that sort of thing. But in any event, we're all set up for the big day here at Sutton HQ. And I do hope that you dear readers have a happy and healthy Christmas, or whatever other holiday celebration you choose to partake in.
That's it for this one. Have a great day tomorrow, everybody. And as for me, I'd better have a official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle under my tree in the morning, or me and Santa are gonna have words.
Thursday, December 21, 2006; 2:12 p.m.
Okay, so I do other things besides complain about how hard Resident Evil 4's Professional Mode is. I also write the occasional movie review. And I've got a new one to share, too. This time around is my review for Clerks II. All I have to do now is a review of Jersey Girl, and I'll have all of Kevin Smith's movies done. I still need to get around to doing a review of Jackie Brown so I can have all of Quentin Tarantino's work done too.
While I'm at it, I still have to write the second half of that Bad Movie Doubleheader, and I'm looking forward to writing a review of A Christmas Story in a few days. So I'm hoping there won't be a shortage of review ideas anytime soon.I'd really like to get back in the game on a more regular basis, as opposed to the occasional ones I do now. Maybe that'll be one of my New Year's resolutions.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006; 4:38 p.m.
I've decided that the aforementioned plan isn't going to work. I can't even get past the first section of the Krauser level, let alone get to a point where I could actually kill him for good. And at this point, I don't think I'll be able to go any further.
So yeah, I'm done with the Professional Mode of Resident Evil 4 for now. Probably for good. And that's about it.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006; 4:12 p.m.
I think I've finally hit a brick wall in Resident Evil 4 that even I can't break through. I just can't get past Krauser at all. I can barely make it through the first two sections of the level, let alone kill Krauser. I've made at least two dozen attempts to take him out, and none have been successful. I should probably sit down and formulate a plan of attack, like I have with the other bosses.
Rocket launchers have worked successfully on Salazar and the Verdugo, so I'm considering going after Krauser with one if I can afford it. If I can knock him down long enough to line up a shot, then it's a risk I'll take. It certainly can't hurt to try.
I'm gonna go do that now.
Sunday, December 17, 2006; 3:16 p.m.
As of last night, I think I've finally finished up all of my Christmas shopping. My limited budget kept me to just buying stuff for my immediate family, but at least I got somebody something. That beats what I usually get people for Christmas: nothing.
But making holiday purchases isn't the only thing I did yesterday. Moses had the idea to go see this indy wrestling show at the National Guard Armory in Bardstown after the big Kentucky/Louisville game. The show was fun, but it just seemed rather anemic. If my memory serves me correctly, there were only four matches booked. Three one-on-one matches, and a six-man tag involving everybody that had already wrestled. So yeah, the card was a wee bit thin.
I think one of the wrestlers ended up getting hurt too. He took a really nasty chairshot during his match, and in a brief intermission afterwards, I heard the promoter say that the guy was pretty messed up. My guess is that he had a concussion. He spent nearly the majority of the six-man tag standing on the ring apron, and I didn't catch what happened, but at the end of the show, he was on his back in the front row looking like he'd been knocked out. And after all the other wrestlers headed back to the dressing room and the crowd filed out of the building, he was still there being attended to. So yeah, I'd say that he's got a killer headache today.
I don't really know if the show was worth the eight bucks I paid to get in, but I still had a lot of fun. By that, I can't say it was a bad choice to go. Now I just need to find out when OVW's going to be around here again, since they put on a really fun show.
Saturday, December 16, 2006; 4:32 p.m.
After taking a break from the game yesterday, I fired Resident Evil 4 back up this afternoon and was immediately thrust into a battle with the U-3. Or as I like to call him, "It." I really hate this portion of the game, because It's so big and there's so little room to maneuver in there when you're running around. The first two sections of the area weren't so bad; I managed to keep It at by with the TMP while I did what I needed to do.
But then there was the third section, where the huge paracite with the pinchers pops oit of It's back. My torso got separated from the rest of me quite a few times. But I did make it through, albeit with my health level in the orange. That didn't help me in the final showdown with It. I did scoreone green herb to help me a little bit, but it didn't save me from getting bisected more than once. But this very fight is the reason why I upgraded the Broken Butterfly as much as I could before I left Trader Joe's last post. So with the Broken Butterfly and an itsy bitsy amount of help from the mine thrower, It ceased to be.
Now I must admit that the end of the fight was way more dramatic than I'm making it out to be. I had one bullet left for my Broken Butterfly, I had no health left at all, and the U-3 was bearing down upon me. I put a little space between us, turned, fired, and the beast went down quicker than a lead balloon. I couldn't believe at just how close I was to having to start the fight over, but I skated through by the skin of my teeth. How awesome is that?
Up next is another big showdown and probably the thickest brick wall of the whole game, the Krauser incident. I took a shot at it, but I didn't last very long. So instead of fighting him again, I saved at Trader Joe's nearby post and called it a day.
I'm really satisfied with the progress I made today. Once I get by Krauser, all I have left is the island war zone and the final battle with Saddler, and I'll have left. It'll probably be tough, but I think I can make it. In every battle, I've kept thinking, "I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck." But even if it takes me all day, I manage to get through. Just because I'm stuck doesn't mean I can't get myself unstuck. Now I just have to find away to get unstuck from the Krauser fight...
Thursday, December 14, 2006; 5:59 p.m.
It's time for another special little moment here at The Matt Sutton Experience. I commemorated the blog's fifth birthday last month, and now you're reading Post #500. Oh yeah. To celebrate the milestone, let's make a report of some Resident Evil 4 progress I made this afternoon. I didn't get a chance to play the game yesterday, due to being out all day and part of the night attending to some Christmas shopping, but I made up for that by kicking the crap out of the game today.
When we last left off, I'd stared down some Regenerators, an Iron Maiden, guys with machine guns, and boatloads of freaks, but I'd manage to spring Ashley from her cell on the island base. But now I had to find our way out. I took quite a few hits, even died a few times, but I'm relentless. I finally cut a swath through the freaks, and got into the wrecking ball room. I'd tried it on Tuesday after my last post, and I couldn't get by it at all. I thought I was going to have that same poor luck today, and while I did get killed a few times, I did get through.
I finally ended up in on the big bulldozer, which was infinitely tougher than it is in Normal Mode. Freaks were running up on me from everywhere. Some with weapons, some without weapons, all with the intent to cause me and Leon a heaping helping of grievous bodily harm. I took two or three deaths, but I came back with a vengeance and showed them who's boss.
And then from there... the knife fight. Oh, do I have a story to tell about the knife fight. I screwed up on the very first prompt of the fight and was killed, but the second time around, I made it through with no problem at all. I know, I'm surprised myself. I figured I'd have to give it at least three or four shots before I made it through. As always, the knife fight had me right on the edge of my seat. And the farther I got into it, the more worried I got that I was going to screw it up and have to start over. But I got past the knife fight in two attempts, so I'm not going to complain.
I figured I'd made plenty of progress, so I called it a day when I got to Trader Joe's next post. I dread having to face "It" up next, since he's going to be one thick brick wall to bust through. But I've made it through all the other tough spots thus far, so I'm sure that I'll be able to take It down with enough effort. That beast is gonna go down just like all the other ones, mark my words.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006; 6:04 p.m.
I have more Resident Evil 4 progress to report. That's right.
After what seemed like hours of trying, I finally got past the first two sections of the island. That jackass with the minigun took me out more than once, but I showed him who's boss. That stated, I'd rather face the gunners than the Regenerators or an Iron Maiden. Oh boy, were those guys fun. They're tough, and especially frightening once you blow their legs off and they jump at you. But I've found that if you can keep your distance and make good use of the rifle's infared scope and the Broken Butterfly. But it still isn't easy.
The areas I've been through thus far have been kind of a blur, but last I left off, I'd just saved Ashley from her cell. So we'll just have to see where we can go from here.
Monday, December 11, 2006; 4:49 p.m.
Okay, here's one more Resident Evil 4 post. Yes, there could be other blog-worthy topics I could talk about. But I'm running this monkey farm, so I'm talking about Resident Evil 4 again.
So anyway, where were we? Last we left off, I'd slayed that big bad Verdugo, and I laughed at the zillion tiny Verdugo chunks I'd just blown up. It was a proud moment for all of us here at Sutton Industries. But there's little time for gloating, because I've got some freaky tentacle-headed butt to kick. From the ashes of the Verdugo fight, I moved on to the mine. I didn't really need to fight another Chainsaw Charlie, but if I wanted to progress, I had to take him and those other guys down. And that's just what I did. It took me a few tries before I finally got through, but I went right from the mine into a two-on-one brawl with Dos Gigantes. And sadly, I got squashed more than a few times. But with a little assistance from the trap door full of lava, I bettered my odds and eventually defeated them both.
And then I had to go and walk right into one area that I was not looking forward to: Cueva del Novistadors. What sicko at Capcom thought this place up? I can handle two or three at a time, but a cave full of them is ridiculous. My head got seperated from my torso a few times, and I didn't know if I'd make it through. But I just did what I always do when I run into a brick wall: I blast a hole big enough to run through, and I make a break for it. I hate those stinkin' bugs, and I'm glad to finally be rid of them for good.
The campfire and underground area after that were no sweat. And those two Chainsaw Charlies in the underground area were no problem whatsoever. I completely avoided one, and managed to take the other one out at a distance with the rifle. But the area that followed was a tricky one. The train ride is a fun part of the game, but it can kick you around if you're not prepared. I got past it on the second try, and I did draw a little satisfaction that the four freaks that were in the train with me took a long ride to the bottom of the ravine at the end.
The big Salazar statue was up next, and here I am with only handgun and rifle ammo and no healing items. Joy of joys. It took me a few tries, but I did get through, despite having pretty much no health left. Thusly, the next section was extraordinarly hard. But I got a lucky break and was successful. Up next was the showdown with Salazar. He is a bad, bad dude, and he managed to actually bite me in half twice. But the third time, as they say, was a charm. I swung by TraderJoe's and picked up another handy rocket launcher, and Salazar was defeated.
Thus endeth Disc One. Up next on Disc Two is the Island of the Damned, and I'm going to conquer it just like I conquered the village and the castle. You just can't stop the inevitable.
Last we left off in the world of Resident Evil 4, I was having a little trouble getting past the room with the two Superclaws. My last save point was just before the clock tower outside their room, so that's where I started yesterday. I got past the clock tower with no problem, and when I got to the bridge, I just chucked a grenade and headed straight for the door for the Superclaw room.
Before I even started with the clock tower, I'd formulated a plan of action in regards to fighting the Superclaws. As I mentioned a few posts ago, I'd done a little searching and gotten the free Broken Butterfly that was just outside the helldog maze. I did some bartering with Trader Joe before entering the clock tower, and got the Broken Butterfly's firepower jacked up as much as I could afford. When I got to the Superclaw room, I just stayed behind them and fired away with the Broken Butterfly. A few shots, and down they went.
And now to fight the Verdugo. Lovely. The guy took care of me pretty darn quick. And why does he have to be so fast? It's like I'm fighting a evil mutant version of The Flash or something. But I got killed, so I figured that would be a good place to stop.
I started back at the Verdugo fight this afternoon. Like with the Dos Superclaws area, I figured that if I was going to kill the Verdugo, I needed a plan. I swung by Trader Joe's and purchased a rocket launcher. If bullets wouldn't slow him down, explosives would, right? So with rocket launcher in hand, I set my plan into motion. I activated the elevator and ran to the door, and that was the Verdugo's cue to pounce. I took a shot to the head from him, but I managed to get around him and hit that beast with a liquid nitrogen tank. That slowed him down long enough for me to fire a rocket right into his ugly mug. And that no-good monster exploded into a million pieces. Now who's bad, huh? Now who's bad?
After that, I figured that one boss fight was enough for this round, so I decided to leave off there for right now. That was a great big hurdle, and I hopped over it with no problem. There's some tough areas ahead, but I can take 'em. I just killed a Verdugo with one shot, after all.
Saturday, December 9, 2006; 12:51 p.m.
Yeah, another Resident Evil 4 post. If you aren't used to them already, you better be soon. Because will there probably be more, depending on my progress.
When I last left off, I was waiting outside Lavaland. I thought it was going to be tough, but I ended up acing it with no problem. I reconvened with Ashley, then did a little (read: a lot) backtracking to acquire for myself a free Broken Butterfly. Not killing everybody in the cage match room almost cost me, though. Because when I ran back through, there were six or eight freaks hanging out in there. But I'm a warrior, I got through just fine. After retrieving my new toy, I circled back, took a little train ride, and saved at Trader Joe's post. From there, I took a much-deserved break.
I resumed later by taking out the knights. I didn't know if I'd be able to, since I don't exactly have the most powerful weaponry. So I figured, "why not aim for the head? That always works, right?" And it did work, except that the little parasite buggers came popping out of their necks. Those guys are loads of fun, especially since they're carrying axes and broadswords now. But don't worry, their steel were no match for my bullets. The next area after that, staring down the ultimate death machine, was a piece of cake. But what wasn't a piece of cake was the next area, the big room full of Novistadors. Poor little me got mutilated quite a few times. I don't exactly like having my head removed from my shoulders, but how could the Novistadors have known that? But after about six or seven tries, I got through and saved at Trader Joe's next post.
Up next was another rough patch: the clock tower. I got through the clock tower with no problems, but where the rough patch lied was outside. That bridge area is tougher than I remembered it being. I got killed plenty of times, before I just got fed up and decided to run for the door instead of continuing this war of attrition. And if I thought the bridge was hard, having to stare down two Superclaws is like trying to punch your way through a brick wall. You can't do it, and it's going to hurt a lot trying. There were a few times I ended up getting decapitated about thirty seconds into it. So I just said "screw it" and put the controller down.
I'm going to have to start back over at the clock tower, but I think I can make it. I just need to think up some kind of strategy for the Superclaw room. I'm sure I can make it through. I made it over all those other hurdles in the game, didn't I? This one should be no different.
Saturday, December 9, 2006; 12:43 a.m.
Before anybody gets the wrong idea, there are things I do besides play Resident Evil 4. I know, I'm shocked too!
But in between rounds of the game, I did a little work on a new movie review that I'd been wanting to do for a few months now. I've spoken of doing a review or two that would be aimed at recharging my batteries in the aftermath or the horrendous movie that was the first half of the doubleheader I'm working on. I've got one of those reviews up and ready right now. So go check out my review of Superman Returns, and feel free to check out my reviews of the other four Superman movies if you'd like.
And that's about it.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006; 11:56 p.m.
I just can't put Resident Evil 4 down. I made a little progress, and figured since we were all here, I'd talk about it.
I last left off just past the helldog maze, heading right into the big cage match against a Superclaw and a bunch of evil monks with crossbows. I got taken out quite a few times, specifically a number of decapitations via Superclaw. So this is where I formulated a plan: go back to Trader Joe's and acquire myself a mine thrower. I jump back into the cage match, blow the doors off with the mine thrower, then head right for the door. I got killed a few times before this plan was actually successful, but I got through eventually. Got killed once in the next room, but got through there, saw Luis get killed, and ended the chapter. Blew through Ashley's chapter with ease, and now I've got the lava room up next. Joy.
Thanks to a lack of rifle ammo, the lava room is going to be tougher than usual. The lava room is another one of those rooms I am just not looking forward to at all. Plus there's the knights, saving Ashley from the ultimate death machine, more Novistadors, more Superclaws, the Verdugo... it never ends. We'll just have to see where it goes from here.
I fired up Resident Evil 4 after I made that post last night, and I headed straight for the Novistadors. And you know, I didn't think those annoying invisible bugs were as bad as I made them out to be. They got a few good shots on me, but I took a few of them out and decided to play a little "catch me if you can" with the rest. They couldn't kill me if they couldn't touch me, so on my way out, I avoided them as much as possible. And the plan worked, too. Like I said, I took a few shots, enough to put me in the deep orange, but I got through.
And then, there were the helldogs in the maze. Oh, the helldogs. After the Novistadors and some of the freaks in the main foyer, I had no health at all. None. Zero. So yeah, I didn't last too awfully long. I called it a night and picked up there this afternoon. I still had no health, but I stumbled into some good fortune after taking a wrong turn in the maze and found a first aid spray. So that was some good times. I finally got around the helldogs to end the chapter, and that's where I left off today.
I'm making better progress than I thought I would. I'm not going progressing by any leaps of bounds, but I think a few baby steps every now and then are going to work. I have no doubt that the game's going to throw some rough patches at me, I'm sure I'll be able to overcome them once I get to them. Ain't no monsters gonna hold me down, no sir.
Tuesday, December 5, 2006; 7:30 p.m.
Finally, after dozens of attempts with little or no success, I finally hurdled over my first really major brick wall in Resident Evil 4. And it was a tough one, too. I made a little bit of progress yesterday, getting the steps in the room down before I hit the closest typewriter. I didn't want to accomplish that and get killed and be forced to start over, so I thought that was a pretty good move on my part.
So I tried working on the second part, getting the bridge raised, tonight. I formulated a strategy, mainly involving getting in the right spots and managing my ammo right, and I got the job done on my first attempt of the night. Yay me.
But up next is something I'm really dreading: the Novistadors, the invisible bugs. They're a pain in the neck in Normal Mode, and I'm absolutely certain that I'm going to hate them in Professional Mode. I still wish I had the Chicago Typewriter.
I've got a lot more of this game to go, but I know I'll make it eventually, even if it takes me forever. And at the rate I'm moving, it probably will.
Sunday, December 3, 2006; 11:58 p.m.
Okay, so I haven't beat the Professional Mode in Resident Evil 4. So sue me. It's in my "To Do" pile. But what I did do is beat Normal Mode one more time. My time was a little longer than what I've done in the past - seven hours, 55 minutes, 21 seconds - but I once again reigned supreme. I had 976 enemies killed, and only died eight times. Quite a few of those were accidental Ashley kills or kills in the knife fight sequence, but there were a couple of times I got stupid and didn't pay attention to my health status.
But with my seventh victory in Normal Mode achieved, I really should get back into Professional Mode. It's going to take a lot more effort to bust through that brick wall, but I think I can do it.
Saturday, December 2, 2006; 11:20 p.m.
In other news, no, I haven't forgotten about that doubleheader of reviews I was talking about a while back. But it might take me a while to get around to doing the second half. Like I said previously, I've decided to cool off and recharge my bad movie batteries before I get started on the second half.
And to recharge those batteries, I've started in on a review for a movie I actually like. It's my usual policy to keep the reviews I'm working on unnamed until I get them post-worthy, but I will say that I plan on giving the current one a favorable rating. It's not that I don't like writing bad reviews, but sometimes these movies are so bad that I'd rather have not done it at all. I'd even be satisfied with a "meh" review, instead of writing about crap like the first part of this doubleheader.
I've also got another review in mind that I'd like to write in the near future. Christmas is in a few weeks, and if past Christmases have been any indication, then TNT will probably air a 24-hour marathon of A Christmas Story. It'll air twelve times in a row, which will be plenty enough for me to get a good review of it in. I love A Christmas Story, and I'd have a ball writing the review, so I just may have to do that.
We'll have to see how that goes.
Saturday, December 2, 2006; 10:31 p.m.
Wow, is it December already? This year has just flown by. Seems like yesterday it was just August. Where does the time go?
I'm having a hard time in my search for a Pro victory in Resident Evil 4. I'm in the room in the castle where you have to turn that crank and lower the bridge, and I've run straight into a brick wall. It's tough as hell in Normal Mode, but I just can't get past it at all in Professional Mode. I made a little progress in one attempt, but I was promptly killed before that progress could be put to good use. I don't want to say I'm giving up, but I think I might put it on hold for a little bit.
To make me feel a little better, I've given Normal Mode one more go. I started on Wednesday, I believe, and I've already made it past the Novistador cave. I'm just outside the cave that hosts the roller coaster ride, if I'm not mistaken. This is why I wish I had the Handcannon or Chicago Typewriter or some other super-powered weapon in Pro Mode, because I'm flying through Normal Mode. Maybe if I had some of these fancy guns in Pro Mode, my chances would be a little better.
Monday, November 27, 2006; 4:51 p.m.
Crimeny, what a long weekend it's been. It's one of those weekends where everything feels like it's starting to blend together, so I'm going to try and make heads or tails of it. So hang on, because sorting it all out might be a bumpy ride.
The whole thing started Saturday night. My Anderson County crew called about me and Moses joining them in getting something to eat, then seeing Happy Feet. But since the movie would have started at 9:30 and we wouldn't have left Pizza Hut until it was well underway, we decided to just go over to Movie Gallery and rent something instead. Moses and I let the girls pick out the movies, and we ended up with Robert Englund's Heartstopper, and some random direct-to-video zombie movie titled Bone Sickness. And to be brutally honest, they could have done better.
We fired up Bone Sickness first, unfortunately. It's just bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. We didn't even bother watch it to the end. And the sad part is, even when you think it's over, it keeps going. Bone Sickness may have gone straight to video, but it should have gone straight to a landfill. I'd punch the movie in the face if I could. My list of complaints barely scratches the surface of what's wrong with this movie. The movie looks like it was filmed with a camcorder, the script was simultaneously nonsensical and illogical, the cast made second-rate sixth grade drama class productions look good, and the effects weren't all that believable. There were one or two cool moments, but for the most part, the gore looked like it was watered-down tomato juice. The movie apparently only cost 3,000 bucks to make, but they must have spent that on a cheap camera and some editing equipment, because it didn't go into the effects or production value. The only kind of entertainment that could be derived from Bone Sickness is if you do MST3K-style jokes during the movie, and it's only worth seeing if you like watching bad homemade movies. I don't want to say that I could do any better, but I don't think I could do any worse.
We didn't get around to watching Heartstopper, unfortunately. It couldn't have been as bad as Bone Sickness. Maybe I'll put it on Netflix sometime.
Anyway, Tiffany left at midnight, and me, Moses, and Jennifer hung out for a while before we got to talking about plans we'd made for Sunday evening. I forget how one thing led to another, but Jennifer invited us to go to church with her. I didn't have any problems with it and Jason didn't either, so he called in sick to work so he could be free to go. Since it was around 2:30 in the morning by the time we decided this, and we'd only get four or five hours of sleep after driving back and forth between Lawrenceburg and home, Jennifer just let us crash at her place for the night.
So we got a few hours of sleep before heading off to church. I hadn't been in years, but it was an experience that I honestly enjoyed. I can't complain. We caught a bit of lunch at McDonald's afterwards, dropped Jennifer off at work, then Moses and I decided to go hang out at her place for a few hours. There wasn't a whole lot to do in an empty house at 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon, but we managed to entertain ourselves with some video games and a little television.
We picked Jennifer up at 6:30, then headed up to Lexington for a wee bit of an adventure. WWE was running their annual "Survivor Series" pay-per-view event last night, so we decided to go see it for free at the Hooters in Lexington. The place was packed when we got there, and we were told that we'd be waiting for at least an hour before we were seated. But we only had to wait for a few minutes thanks to Jennifer's father. He's apparently to Hooters what George Wendt was to Cheers, so all she had to do is say that she was his daughter and that we were with him. They took us right to his table and seated us. I'm going to have to remember that next time.
This was the first time I'd been to this particular establishment, and it's definitely what they say it is. Not that I have a problem with that. And I know it's part of their usual color scheme, but I'm surprised at just how orange the place is. I thought I'd seen a lot of the color orange in my life, but I was quite mistaken. It's borderline excessive. The whole thing just poses the question, "How much more orange could Hooters get?" And the answer is none. None more orange.
But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have an absolute blast. The show was great, the food was great, and the atmosphere was great. Every patron in the place was into the show, but what was especially neat was how the waitresses got into it show too. I saw two waitresses wearing homemade title belts, a few behind the bar shouted "we're ready!" in response to DX's pre-match "are you ready?" spiel, and they did something especially cool during The Undertaker's entrance. I'm sure the wrestling fans who read this are familiar with how the lights go dark as he enters the arena, then turn back on as he stands on the ring steps. Someone at the restaurant thought it would be funny to play along, turning nearly all the lights in the place off and on in time with the entrance. It was a fun little Rocky Horror type of thing that I thought was a really cool idea.
We got out of there after the show ended, and I would definitely do this again if given the opportunity. I had way too much fun. I wouldn't mind going back next week for the ECW pay-per-view, but I think this will be more of a "once in a while" thing as opposed to something we do on a regular basis. But like I said, if the chance ever came up, I'd take it.
Like I said, we left after the show, then dropped Jennifer off at her house before heading back to good ol' Willisburg. It took us twice as long as usual to get home, thanks to a nasty wreck that closed up part of the BG Parkway. We sat there for an hour before we got moving. And after my 29-hour adventure, I think I'm going to take it easy and relax this week. Do you blame me?
Yeah, like I'm going out on Black Friday and getting trampled. I might be crazy, but I'm not a moron. I plan on spending today eating turkey and maybe playing a little Resident Evil 4.
Speaking of, I did make a wee bit of progress in the game late last night. We last left off at the barn of Bitores Mendez, the "Rasputin" of whom I've spoken in the past. He kicked the snot out of me the last time we faced off, but I wouldn't be denied a victory the next time. I wasn't going to quit until Rasputin was brought down.
He smacked me around pretty good twice, but the third time was the charm. I took him out after a brutal war that left me with no health left at all. No joke, I couldn't see any health left at all on the little meter in the corner of the screen. So of course, I stopped by Trader Joe's and purchased a first aid spray before I saved the game. Like I'm not gonna do that.
With one more boss battle under my belt, I forged ahead, because I was close to wrapping up part of the game. My handy dandy rifle took out the crazy trucker, then headed straight for the castle to finish the game's first act. I swung by Trader Joe's once I got inside the castle, and traded in my bolt-action rifle and shotgun for the semi-automatic rifle and the riot gun. A little tougher firepower never hurt anybody. Well, maybe some people. But not me.
The catapults in the next area were a pain, but I managed to get past them and break down the castle door with that giant cannon. But then in the sword exchange room, I got surrounded and poor Ashley got snatched away. So I figured I would live to fight another day and left the game. Next time, I'll be starting back at Trader Joe's shop, ready to get around the catapults again.
That might not sound like an extraordinary amount of progress, but I believe that a little is better than none. Besides, making it to the second act of the game is not too shabby. But the first act was just the tip of the iceberg, because neither the castle or the island war zone will show me any mercy.
And to that, I say bring it on.
Thursday, November 23, 2006; 7:57 p.m.
While I'm here, I might as well talk about some Resident Evil 4. I couldn't put it down for long, so I played a little further after my post last night. When I last left off, I had just arrived in the village for the third and final time. And with the exception of all those pesky bear traps, the village was a piece of cake. Goodbye, village; you shall be missed.
After the village was the farm. I had Ashley hide, then I sought out to take out all the freaks. The really crappy thing is that not only are the freaks harder to kill in Professional mode, they're even tougher when those tentacle monsters pop out of their necks. If flash grenades were a little more plentiful, I could get by a little easier. I guess this isn't the hard mode for nothing.
From the farm, Ashley and I headed to the cabin that Libby has compared to the house from Night of the Living Dead. This portion of the game is tough under the Normal setting, but it's insane in Professional mode. It's like they decided to send every single villager freak in the game after me. But after three tries, I got out of the cabin. At this point, it was time for a big choice. Do I go left and fight an army of freaks and the chainsaw twins? Or do I go right and pray I don't get squished by El Gigante #2? Hmm... decisions, decisions. Let's try the right path.
Now I could stand my ground and fight El Gigante, but I've got two things stopping me. One, I'm dreadfully short on heavy ammunition. Two, I'm not completely stupid. I'd knock him down a peg or two if I had the Chicago Typewriter or the Handcannon, but since all I have is a handgun and a rifle with limited ammo, I decided to employ the same game plan I used with the helldogs outside of the church. I ran as fast as Leon's legs could carry me. I got slowed down at the second locked door, and that gave the big guy enough time to pick up Ashley and squeeze the life out of her. The second time, though, I managed to completely avoid El Gigante and got through with nary a scratch.
From there was the ski lift, which was almost too easy. I saved at Trader Joe's post just past there, then headed for Rasputin's barn. And he kicked the everloving crap out of me. The guy even grabbed me by the head, threw me in the air, and bounced me off the rafters, for sobbin' out loud! I'm a man who realizes when I'm out of my league, so I decided to pack it in and call it a night.
Overall, I'm satisfied with my progress thus far. I've let myself grow used to high-powered guns with infinite ammo, so this presents a major challenge. It's hard as a rock, but I'll make it. Ain't no game gonna hold me down.
Thursday, November 23, 2006; 6:04 p.m.
I hope everybody's having a great Thanksgiving. Mine's been good, thanks for asking. We didn't do a whole lot to celebrate the holiday since the whole family couldn't get together for one reason or another, so we're gonna do the whole turkey dinner thing tomorrow. I kinda wish we could have done it today like normal people, but it's unfortunately not up to me. I did, however, get a good meal at Cracker Barrel in Danville with my folks this afternoon. So I can't really complain about today. It's too bad I'm not a football fan, otherwise the day would have been complete.
Instead of football, I did watch the coverage of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on NBC this morning, and it left me confused. If you haven't seen NBC's coverage before, let me set this up. Every so often, the parade will stop in front of the Macy's store in Herald Square so some musician that's either a nobody or completely washed up can badly lip-sync the first verse of a song. And it's so painfully obvious that they're lip-syncing too. What gets me is that NBC supplies everybody with microphones and the occasional guitar. And why? Who do they think they're fooling? Does anybody believe they're singing live? Am I complaining to nobody in particular? I am? Okay, then.
I decided to go ahead and give Resident Evil 4's Professional setting a go last night, and I'm blown away by how tough it is. So let's recap what's happened during my latest tour of duty.
I made it through the first area and the village, and got through it better than I expected since never once did Chainsaw Charlie show up. I tried playing it safe, but due to the freakish masses, I ended up with health levels in the orange. That came back to get me in the farm area that was next, since I died twice via hatchets to the noggin. But I made it through, only to get squashed by Indiana Jones's giant rolling boulder.
Second time around, I made it past the giant bowling alley and found the tied-up Luis to end Chapter 1-1. I got wiped out a few times in Bridgetown and the warehouse that followed, but I got past and made it to the chief's house. I ran into Chainsaw Charlie and some of his buddies in the chief's backyard, but one or two grenades got me around them and back into the village. Ran through there and through the passage to the church graveyard, then barely made it through the swamp before getting to the lake. Rather than take on Nessie, I hit the conveniently-placed typewriter and called it a day.
I picked the game back up this afternoon, ready to conquer the world. I left off in a rough patch, as I immediately had to fight Nessie if I wanted to progress in the game. But I had nothing to worry about, since I managed to kill Nessie in one attempt. Go me. But it wasn't a flawless victory, since Nessie managed to knock my health down to yellow. I headed along anyway, through the reservoir with ease. After that was a tough, tough battle: Leon S. Kennedy vs. El Gigante #1 in a no-holds-barred throwdown. And trust me, dear readers, it was a war of attrition. Both of us took some hard shots, with me getting knocked down and out more than once. But I'm resilient, so I came back and I dropped El Gigante like a bad habit.
My health had taken quite a knock, but without any aids, I was stuck that way. I had to forge ahead anyway. I'm a trooper, I figured I could make it. Three helldogs were waiting for me in front of the church, and while I always managed to take out the first one with my rifle, the other two always ripped my poor little throat out. After one particular incident that led to my grisly demise at the hands of these friendly canines, I went and did something really stupid. I accidentally hit "no" without thinking at the "Will You Continue?" screen. And dummy me hadn't saved the game after killing El Gigante. Way to go, Matt, you fool.
My last save point was just before the fight with El Gigante, so I had to go back and fight him again. He smacked me around a few times, but I managed to knock him out after another hardfought brawl. It was back to the helldogs, and after I took out the first one, I formulated a plan. Instead of standing my ground and fighting them, I decided to avoid them at all costs. I bolted for the church door, and the plan succeded. Makes me wish I'd come up with that plan to begin with.
So I'm in the church, I figure out the light puzzle pretty quick, I free Ashley, and we make a daring escape through the church window. Got through the freaks in the cemetary without a scratch, then headed straight to the village. I was satisfied with my progress, so I hit the typewriter near Trader Joe's post, then called it an evening.
This is so much harder than what I'd been used to. It seems like the only ammo I'm finding enough of is the weak handgun bullets, which only does me favors if I want to shoot a freak in the kneecaps before I dropkick him in the head. It seems like the different freaks and monsters do a lot more damage too. The Professional setting isn't the hard mode for nothing. I have no doubts that I can beat the game, but it's going to be a long, long road to victory. And trust me, victory will be mine.
Oh yes, it will be mine.
Sunday, November 19, 2006; 7:05 p.m.
You'd think that after a while, I'd get tire of completely dominating Resident Evil 4, but nope, I haven't yet. I've had a handful of 100,000-point runs with Wesker in the castle level of The Mercenaries, and I finally managed to get over that same hurdle in the village with Krauser. I don't remember all the details, but I put up a score of just over 111,000 last night. Now I just need to get some 100,000-point scores in Waterworld and the desert war zone, and I can call my Mercs work wrapped up.
After that, I don't know what I'll do with Resident Evil 4. I could always try beating the game on the Professional setting, though my only prize would be a truckload of bragging rights. But I've grown so used to carrying a small armory with me, and going all the way back to a much tougher Square One doesn't sound too friendly. I might just have to try it one of these days though, just to further cement my dominance over the game. Now if only the Gamecube version had the "Separate Ways" feature...
In a related story, I'm also highly anticipating the Resident Evil game that Capcom is developing for the Wii. It's not going to be Resident Evil 5 - that's being made for the Xbox 360 and the PlayStation 3 only - but what I have seen and heard has piqued my interest. There's not a whole lot of info about it (that I know of, anyway), but combined with the articles I've read and the video I saw on YouTube, it sounds like it could be a heck of a game. I might have to pick up an Xbox 360 so I can play Resident Evil 5, but once I catch a ride on the Wii Train, it's heading straight for Raccoon City.
Saturday, November 18, 2006; 2:33 p.m.
I've long considered myself a nerd, and that's a label I wear with pride. But just my luck, something had to go and happen to make me rethink that.
For those of you who've been living under a rock for the last week or so, I'll explain. Sony's big new video game console, the PlayStation 3, was released at midnight yesterday. And unless you don't watch the news, you've heard of all the nerds camping out in front of electronics stores, like they were waiting in line for Star Wars, Episode 7: The Quest for More Money. And then, when the countdown to the PS3's launch expired, it was a widespread nerd riot. It was like hundreds of fraternities nationwide decided to stage much more violent reenactments of the soccer mom frenzies over Cabbage Patch Kids and Tickle Me Elmo. People were beating each other senseless, robbing one other at gunpoint, getting into mild skirmishes with the police.
And for what? An overpriced toy. That's what it is. The PS3 could make me sandwiches and massage my feet, and I'd still think that the $600 price tag is too much. And to tell you the truth, I don't see what the big deal is. I never owned the original PlayStation, and I still don't own a PS2. And because of that, I don't really feel the need to run out and acquire a PS3. And although I have quite a bit of interest in the Xbox 360, my main focus of the new generation of game consoles has been on the new Nintendo Wii. I was born and raised as a Nintendo fanboy, and I always get really excited when they release a new console. Sure, I've had to miss out on almost every awesome game to come out in the last five years because they weren't made for the Gamecube, but I'm still proud of my little purple lunch box. And while the Wii does have a goofy (albeit fun to say) name, the concept for the controller is brilliant, and games like Red Steel and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess look amazing. Plus the Wii only costs 250 bucks, which means that it's already got one up on the PS3.
But going back to my original point, I don't get what the big deal about the PS3 is. I don't see why all these overzealous morons have to stomp one another into the ground for a $600 toy. It was pretty well known that Sony's initial shipment was going to be a little on the light side, but these nerds probably didn't hear it because they were creating little Gypsy camps in front of Best Buys and Wal-Marts around the country. I like video games as much as the next guy, but I can live with not being first in line to buy the newest console. Yes, I'd like a Wii and an Xbox 360, but I don't really have the desire to get trampled by an unruly mob or get turned into the new Reginald Denny because somebody missed out on their shot to get a PS3. I mean, this is insanity. Pure, unbridled insanity. And it's stupid.
It's not like Sony made the PS3 an ultra-limited edition item. I guess Sony wanted to see how many raging fools would line up for it on the first day. Maybe it was some kind of psychological study or social experiment or something like that. But this madness is both mind-boggling and insulting to me as a gamer. I don't have to run out and crack somebody with a brick so I can get the latest and greatest in video game technology as soon as it's available. Violence like this makes me embarrassed to be both a nerd and a gamer. Oh, I'll still identify myself as such, but my nerd badge of honor has lost a little of its luster.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to wrap this up so I can go shoot somebody and steal the video games he just bought.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006; 8:32 p.m.
I've finally wrapped up the first half of my double feature of reviews on Sunday. And truth be told, I'm really dreading the second one. The first half completely drained me, and not in a good way. And if that's the case with the second part, and I fully expect it to be, I'm anticipating just yanking the DVD out of the player halfway through the movie and chucking it across the room. I said last week that I was looking forward to seeing if the movie lived up to its reputation, and while that is true, I'd really like to avoid ripping my hair out in frustration over how bad the movie is.
But as I said before, the first movie in this doubleheader has almost completely worn me out, so I think I might put the second one on hold for a couple of weeks so I can recharge my batteries. If I'm going to rip this sucker to shreds, I want to be at full strength when I do it. A high-quality bashing is what I'm after. Though depending on how Netflix decides to work with me, I may try working on reviews of Clerks 2 or Superman Returns before this other movie. They both come out two weeks from today, and I might be able to acquire one of them through Netflix. I really liked both of them a lot, and either would be a good way to cleanse the palate of this horrible piece of crap I just got done reviewing. I wanted to review both Clerks 2 and Superman Returns anyway, so if it means having to put some horrible soul-killing movie on hold, then that's what I'll do what I have to do.
But we'll just see how it goes from here. I do plan on getting the second half of the doubleheader done sometime, don't worry. It just might be a few weeks. But hey, nobody ever accused me of being speedy in regards to these things. Am I right?
Tuesday, November 7, 2006; 10:31 p.m.
I want to make a post, but I'm lacking a topic. I could talk about Horrorfest, but there's been no progress to report. I'm beginning to think it's a lost cause, if you want me to be totally honest about it. But I said I wasn't going to get my hopes up just in case, and I'm not.
Since there's nothing to talk about there, I guess I could always talk about the new writing project I mentioned about a week and a half ago, even if there's not a whole lot to discuss about it. I got the first movie in my intended doubleheader from Netflix today, and I'm really anticipating writing the review. I haven't gotten too deep into the movie yet, but I have managed to put in quite a bit of work on the opening paragraph, which is always the toughest part of every review for me.
I'm especially looking forward to the second part of this doubleheader. I've heard so many awful things about it, that I almost have to watch it as soon as I can. It's almost like a car crash; no matter how gruesome it is, you still want to look. But really, I've heard very negative reviews about both movies, so I'm not expecting either of them to be winners. Truthfully, I'm expecting to have a lot of fun bashing them if they're as bad as I hear.
And would you look at that. I went in with nothing to talk about, and cooked up something decent after all. Yay me.
Sunday, November 5, 2006; 5:09 p.m.
Me and my regular crew were chatting a few days ago, and Tiff had an idea that I am most supportive of. I'm not quite sure if Moses and Jennifer could go for it, and we haven't really talked about it since it first came up, but I'm hoping the idea can come to fruition.
Since you're probably wondering what I'm jabbering about, Tiff's idea was us attending Horrorfest, otherwise known as "Eight Films To Die For." If you haven't seen the commercials on television, Horrorfest is a three-day film festival being held in 500 theaters in thirty-five cities on the 17th, 18th, and 19th. Each of the eight movies are horror movies that are billed as being "too shocking for general audiences," and that probably wouldn't get a theatrical release otherwise. Well, to be honest, there's actually nine movies in the festival, one of which is a "bonus movie" apparently only available to people who buy an all-access ticket to the other eight. It's only showing once, 10:00 on the 19th, which means we probably won't make it to that one if we go. Some of us have places to be on that Monday. And to be truthful, I'm not really all that interested in seeing Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror anyway.
We probably would go see it anyway, but the thing is that the only theater in the state of Kentucky that's hosting Horrorfest is up in Newport. Newport is 200 miles away, right on the Ohio River. You can spit in Newport and it'd land in Cincinnati. Now if it were in Lexington or maybe Louisville, we might be more set upon going. But considering that driving a four-hour round trip on three consecutive days would probably be quite taxing, we'd either have to rent a motel room for the weekend or just pass on the whole thing.
I'm not getting my hopes up, because we haven't decided for certain if we really are going. Like I said, we haven't talked about since earlier in the week, and I'm probably the only one of the four that even remembers the idea of going was brought up in the first place. If we do go and have to rent a motel room, then we'll have to shake the money tree, as well as make sure that everyone will be able to free up their schedules for that weekend.
Plus, some of the movies may be a wee bit on the graphic side. And if Jennifer couldn't sit through Saw 3, then I seriously doubt she'll be able to sit through eight unrated movies that are probably going to be much worse. And I know for a fact that if she walks out, she'll be taking Moses with her, so if that's how it's gonna be, then me and Tiff might as well just go without them.
Hmm... I'll have to talk to the others about this.
Thursday, November 2, 2006; 1:55 p.m.
Five years ago, in room 218 of Campbellsville University's Broadway Hall, a revolution was born. It had the humblest of origins, but in the half-decade that followed, it became a blogosphere powerhouse known as the one, the only, the legendary... The Matt Sutton Experience. Okay, okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but the last five years have been a lot of fun. So let's have a history lesson, shall we?
This here blog initially started, as many of you readers know, here on Tripod.com. I got the idea from my neighbor Kenny, right down to misappropriating his blog's format. Outside of a few aesthetic changes - changing the text color from neon green to the current gray, adding Blatant Movie Shilling, comments, and the revolving taglines - the Tripod format's remained pretty much the same since I first opened up shop. But enough about that, what about the content? That's the most important thing, right?
Let's discount 2001, since I only had about thirteen posts over two months, and they weren't really much. So let's start with 2002. And to be truthful, 2002 wasn't a very good year for the Experience either. I averaged maybe two or three posts a month, even dipping down to just one per month on two occasions. The posts were really anemic, on occasion being just a few sentences long, which is why I've since nicknamed my 2002 archives "The Dead Zone." Post quality improved a little and post count improved greatly in 2003, especially come August. And the reason is this: the creation of Sutton At The Movies. I did the very first two, the original Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street movies, right around the time Freddy vs. Jason came out because I thought it'd be something fun to do. I didn't really think it would lead anywhere, but three years later, Sutton At The Movies has really taken off and the count stands at right around 120 reviews. That number really spiked something sharp in 2004, during which it seemed like every post I made for a few months was just to say I got a new review up. Not that that's totally a bad thing, but still.
But personally, I think the seeds for the current blog were sown in 2005. While there were quite a few "I saw a movie, here's what I thought" posts - there still are quite a few, actually - I started doing posts that were more refined than my past material. A little more refined, a little more perosnal, and a little more mature. That sort of thing has developed to where we are now in 2006, and I think the blog's personality has really blossomed since then. I also really believe that the blog and Sutton At The Movies have helped to make me a better writer than I was at this time in 2001, so I really can't complain about how things have progressed.
The blog has been quite a learning experience for me. It's helped me see into my own life, made me look at myself and the way I do things. The blog's evolution has been my own evolution, and I think I'm a better person for it. What started as a dorky college student's goof in 2001 has since become an important part of who I am now. The last five years have been quite a journey, and here's hoping for five more.
Wednesday, November 1, 2006; 7:14 p.m.
Howdy, folks. Welcome to the month of November. To celebrate the beginning of the eleventh month of the year, I've got a brand new review to share. I just finished up my review of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, which you can check out here.
Have fun reading, and I'll see you tomorrow with the big post I have planned.
Today's the big day, folks. October 31st. Halloween. One of the most anticipated days on this young man's calendar.
As per the usual, I don't really have any major Halloween plans lined up right now. I usually play it by ear. Though, like ever year, I do plan on hanging out with my uncle in his driveway and helping him hand out some candy. This has been a personal tradition for me every year for the last decade or so. I've only missed one Halloween, and that was just due to unfortunate college-related commitments that I couldn't get out of. But outside of that, my annual Halloween plans have almost always gone off without a hitch, and it's something I look forward to every year.
Today is also one of those days where horror movies are universally cool for a change. The genre doesn't always get the respect it deserves during the other 364 days out of the year, but everyone is into horror on Halloween. I've long been a fan of the genre, and I'm not shy about it. But there's just something about Halloween that makes horror movies that much more special and that much more fun on this particular day. And if there's one thing I love, it's a good scary movie on Halloween.
On that note, I think I'm going to go watch some scary movies. Before I head off, I want to give a little plug to a project that my buddy Dave is doing. The guy's decided to compile the contents of his pro wrestling DVDs into one large, in-depth database. And I must admit that this little shout-out might be a wee bit on the selfish side, since I had a hand in some of the research. But if you're at all interested, feel free to check it out. And to be totally honest, I might just have to rip the idea off one day.
And that's that. Everybody have a safe and happy Halloween, and hopefully you'll have more treat than trick. Unless you like tricks. And you probably do, you sick freak.
Sunday, October 29, 2006; 2:11 p.m.
Well, we didn't get around to seeing Silence of the Lambs last night. Instead, we decided to go check out Saw 3. And truthfully, it was an experience unlike any other I've had before. Want to hear about it? Of course you do. That's why you're here.
Myself, Moses, and our Anderson County crew, Jennifer and Tiffany, headed up to see the 9:45 showing of the movie. And not twenty minutes into it, Jennifer decides it's too much for her and leaves, Moses following behind to keep her company. It's the first time I can remember a member of my posse walking out of a movie. And it confuses me, since Jennifer can usually handle a little gore. She's a lover of zombie movies, after all. Besides, the commercials and trailers pretty much come right out and say the movie's going to be a gorefest. A Saw movie without graphic violence is like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie without chainsaws or massacres. But to each his or her own, I guess.
So this just left me and Tiffany in the theater, which wasn't so bad until a guy two rows behind us vomited. It wasn't because of the movie, but because he'd had a wee bit too much to drink. I know this because once this little incident happened, the place suddenly smelled like someone had poured a bottle of vodka all over the floor. And this guy just threw up all over the place. If Tiffany and I had been two seats to the left, where Moses and Jennifer were sitting, we'd have probably gotten it all over our shoes. And outside of a few stragglers on the ends of each, the full two rows behind us pretty much cleared out for the remainder of the movie, no joke. From what Tiff and I were told after the movie by a friend of hers that works as an usher, the guy was arrested for public intoxication once he got into the lobby. The usher even said there was a real ruckus in the lobby, and that one upset woman kicked down the manager's door demanding a refund. Throw in the fact that the guy next to me had a kid that looked no older than seven years old with him, and I guess you could claim that the experience was a little bit out there.
But let's talk about Saw 3 for a little while, okay? There's two plotlines going on at the same time:
The movie delicately balances both storylines very carefully, but until they converge in the climax, I got the feeling that Storyline #2 was really the main one. I found Jigsaw and Amanda to be the film's most intriguing characters, and they are rightfully given the bulk of the movie's running time. We are taken deeper into their relationship and how their lives have progressed to where they are now. As I said previously, both are quite intriguing, and both are excellently played by Tobin Bell and Shawnee Smith. Bell and Smith's performances make the characters endearing, even if it is in the same sense that Freddy Krueger or Rob Zombie's Firefly clan are.
Though while I thought Jigsaw and Amanda were the movie's main focus, the storyline with Jeff deserves a little mention. The storyline is so heart-wrenching at times, invoking a certain level of emotion not really seen in the prior two movies. It also gives Saw 3 the strongest sense of morality when compared to the other two. It is a tale of forgiveness and compassion, and though it is told with tremendous amounts of carnage, it is still a story that truly emphasizes Jigsaw's philosophy. While I do believe that a little more emphasis is placed upon the other storyline, the movie is strengthened by this one.
The characters, especially our pair of villains, are very deep, very layered. There is always so much going on beneath their surfaces, and neither Jigsaw or Amanda reveal all the cards in their hands until the grand finale. And what a finale it is. Nearly every loose end from the entire trilogy thus far is tied up in the final five minutes of the movie, giving us the full scope of the entire Saw universe. It may seem Shyamalan-esque, but when it's all put together, it makes the entire universe much deeper and rounded.
We don't really know how things will connect or tie together during the movie, but as with the previous two entries in the trilogy, it all comes together nearly seamlessly in the end. And while I've heard rumblings of a Saw 4 coming out next year depending on this one's success, I think Saw 3 could serve as a satisfactory closing chapter for the franchise. The entire trilogy comprises a quite interesting story, though I'll admit that I'm not entirely against a fourth Saw movie either. I guess we'll just have to wait until next Halloween.
Darren Lynn Bosman's direction is sound, James Wan and Leigh Whannell's script and Charlie Clouser's music are well done, and the traps are sick. Oh my, the traps. I don't want to give any of them away, but they are so deliciously painful that the gorehounds will love Saw 3. As I said, the acting is good too, especially the wonderful performances from Bell and Smith. They were both very good in the first two Saw movies, and they're just as excellent here.
So to wrap this thing up, Saw 3 is a respectable entry in a film franchise that has apparently become something of a Halloween tradition. It's violent, gore-drenched, frightening, and via the one storyline, downright sad at times. My official judgment is three and a half stars, leaning towards four, and I give it and the entire Saw franchise my seal of approval.
That's about it for this one. Other than that, the day was dreadfully uneventful. I'm just glad I'm not one of those poor saps who got vomited on by that drunk guy. That's probably why Moses and Jennifer should be glad they left when they did, because they'd have probably gotten caught up in it too.
And that'd be terrible.
Saturday, October 28, 2006; 1:30 p.m.
As I posted about last week, myself and my crew were aiming to check out a double feature of The Exorcist and The Silence of the Lambs in Frankfort last night. Unfortunately, due to certain job-related circumstances, one member of our crew couldn't make it and another had to work early this morning. So we decided to implement Plan B and catch only the first half of tonight's doubleheader, the extended "director's cut" of The Exorcist, tonight. So let's see how that went, shall we?
I'd seen various bits and pieces of The Exorcist on television in the past, but nothing could have prepared me for just how disturbing the movie is. Really, the movie actually made me want to curl up in a padded room for a few hours. What I thought was especially harrowing was all the little subtle things, like the faint Pazazu idols that creep up in the shadows of some scenes, and the split-second frames of Captain Howdy that were subliminally edited in there like they were Tyler Durden's porn collection. The shots of Captain Howdy particularly frightened me, because they were so quick that I was left with the feeling that while I wasn't a hundred percent sure what I saw, it made me almost pee my pants anyway. And that, folks, was effective.
Everything about the movie is just so disturbing. I normally don't feel like I've been punched in the stomach after leaving most horror movies, but that's how The Exorcist left me feeling. That's the only way I can describe this feeling. There's a reason why The Exorcist has developed a reputation as one of the genre's most enduring classics, and I believe that how I feel now is that reason.
Honestly, not very many movies have left me feeling the next day exactly how I felt after I left the theater. But The Exorcist is one of them. It's one of those movies that, when the credits roll, makes me want to stand up, take a deep breath, and say, "Man, that's messed up." I am simply in awe of just how mind-blowing The Exorcist is. The writing and direction are well done, the acting is spectacular, and most importantly, it's scary. Very, very scary. And it earns high praise with four and a half stars, a definite "Sutton At The Movies" recommendation.
Now that that's out of the way, we still have Silence of the Lambs to see tonight. I've seen it a dozen times, but I'm still excited about seeing it up on the big screen. There's just something about the experience that makes it so much more fun. Now if there were a way I could have made it to the doubleheader of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre prequel and The Descent that the Harrodsburg drive-in was showing this weekend...
Thursday, October 26, 2006; 4:48 p.m.
I've been meaning to do a new post this week, but hadn't found the time or topic until right now. So come on, let's see where this takes us.
I'm currently working on a new review that I've been wanting to do for a few months now, and I have two more currently lined up once I finish this one. And as much as I want to do the one I'm working on right now, I'm especially looking forward to the next two. I don't want to come out and say what they are, since I like to keep my work secret until their grand unveilings, but I will say that I don't expect the movies to be very good. And to be perfectly honest, if they're just as bad as their reputations let on, I'm going to have a ball ripping them to shreds. Hopefully, they'll be more "angry bad" than "disappointing bad," because "angry bad" reviews are so much more fun to write.
So after I get those two done, I don't really have any other reviews lined up yet. I still need to do Jackie Brown and maybe True Romance, but it's just a matter of sitting down and actually doing them. But they'll have to wait in any event, since I still have these three reviews I have set up. I'm sure I'll get around to them eventually.
And that's enough of this. I'd better get back to my projects. It isn't going to write itself.
I had quite a long night, and boy, am I feeling it today. I could probably go back to sleep and stay there all afternoon. I'm that worn out.
The evening began somewhere in the neighborhood of 7:30, with the usual suspects and I heading up to Jacobson Park in Lexington to go visit a haunted house. Well, it wasn't so much a haunted house as it was a haunted trail, but you get the idea. And I must admit I thought the place was a lot of fun. It wasn't as intensely scare as I'd have expected, but after a lifetime of watching horror movies, I think my senses have been a wee bit dulled. But regardless, the place was great. What was really fun was seeing how scared the other three were. I was bringing up the rear of our foursome, which meant the other three got scared before I did, or everything snuck up on me first.
That leads to a silly story, actually. As I said, I was in the back of the group. At one point, a guy in overalls and a hockey mask sneaks up behind us and followed us for a little bit. I noticed him and called out, "Holy crap, Jason! Hey, it's Jason!" Unfortunately, they didn't pay any attention. The thing is that Moses's first name is Jason, so they all thought I was just trying to get his attention. This is what I get for hanging out with a guy who has the same name as a popular horror villain.
The only really bad part of the whole thing was all the mud. It was like someone had set this thing up at Woodstock. We've been getting plenty of rain lately, which could be part of it. But I also think that they hid strategically placed mud pits in some of the trail's darker spots. I say that because the ground was a lot softer in some places, and I vaguely noticed what looked like a shallow hole someone had dug and filled in with mud. I ended up with mud nearly up to my knees, thanks to those things. I'm just glad I didn't get dressed up for the thing, otherwise I'd be a little more unhappy.
After the haunted trail, we were all feeling a little hungry. It was pretty late when we got out of there, and since we didn't think many restaurants would be open around 10:30 or 11:00, our options were limited. And since the girls didn't want to go to White Castle, we agreed upon Waffle House instead. It was closer than White Castle, it's a 24-hour establishment, and who doesn't like waffles? Anybody who says they don't like Waffle House's waffles is either a fool or a liar. That's some good stuff.
From Waffle House, we moved on to a Wal-Mart that was close by. We didn't have any real reason to be there, we just like hanging out in Wal-Marts. Didn't get anything accomplished there, not that we were really aiming to, but we did succeed in killing some time and having some fun.
Since it was getting pretty late, almost 1:30 in the morning, we figured we'd head home after leaving Wal-Mart. We ended up getting slowed down by about a half-hour or so, thanks to a wrong turn we initially believed was going to be a shortcut, but we eventually ended up on the right road to home. Moses and I hung out with the girls at their place for a little while before we called it a night and rolled home about 4:00 in the morning. So yeah, I'm a little worn out. I slept until 1:45 this afternoon and I'm still tired.
My plans for what's left of the day are to simply sit back and relax. Unless something comes up, I'll probably be doing the relaxation thing all week. At least until Friday, that is. Depending on the availability of particular members of our crew, there may be big plans for Friday night. The Grand, where we previously caught a midnight showing of Army of Darkness back in August, is doing a double feature of The Silence of the Lambs on both Friday and Saturday. They'll be showing The Exorcist at 8:00 and Silence of the Lambs at midnight Friday, then swapping them on Saturday night. If every member of the crew can be available, since we don't want any of us being left out, we're going to try and make it to both Friday shows. If not, we're going to implement Plan B and see just the two midnight showings. Either way would be a lot of fun, but I'm kinda pulling for Plan A, just to save making an extra trip.
One way or the other, I think we'll have just as great a time as we did when we saw Army of Darkness. I still haven't seen more than a few minutes of The Exorcist, and I can't think of a more fun way to see it for the first time. So here's hoping our plans go off without a hitch.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go kick back and enjoy a lazy Sunday.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006; 9:08 p.m.
Myself and Moses caught The Marine late this afternoon. We'd meant to catch it last night with our Anderson County crew, but due to extenuating circimstances, we missed the last showing. But no matter, Moses and I saw it today, and boy, is it a mess.
I went in not expecting much, and while it was fun, I repeatedly had my intelligence insulted by the movie. The lead character, played by pro wrestler John Cena, narrowly avoids being killed in numerous explosions despite the fact that a normal person would have been burned to a crisp. A normal person would have been completely and thoroughly broken by the end of the movie, but Cena gets through without so much as a scratch. And his character's wife, played by Kelly Carlson from that TV show nip/tuck, is repeatedly hit in the face, yet apparently never has any bruises or a busted nose or a concussion or anything. Are we to believe that these characters can survive all this punishment without recieving any visible injuries?
There is such a thing as suspension of disbelief, and The Marine stomps all over it. Characters show no battle damage, the villains shoot like they recieved weapons training from the A-Team, and the insane twist that concludes the second act just makes the movie really tough to believe. (The twist is immediately negated, so I guess that doesn't matter.) The acting is so-so, with Robert Patrick and his henchmen playing their roles with tongues planted firmly in cheek. Patrick's facial expression when one of his henchmen compares Cena to the Terminator is priceless. Carlson accomplishes nothing aside from standing around looking cute, and I would advise Cena not to quit his day job. I just don't see him following in The Rock's footsteps and becoming the next big action star.
The Marine is a big, dumb, violent action movie in the vein of Commando. There's fighting and guns and explosions, and anyone who enjoys that sort of thing will like this. Personally, I'll give The Marine a thumbs in the middle with two and a half stars. It could have been a whole lot better, I'll say that much.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006; 4:30 p.m.
With all the talk about Resident Evil 4 over at Lib's blog, I decided to dip my toe back into the game's waters last night. I started with the Mercenaries side-game, which I may or may not have a mild addiction to. I played a few rounds, usually topping out at between 50,000 and 60,000 points. I picked it back up today, I got the same results. But then, the magic happened.
I headed out with Wesker in the castle, where I'd had plenty of success with him in the past. For most of the time, I kept the sniper rifle armed. It's not exactly intended for close combat, but I make it a point to keep my distance while playing The Mercenaries. It was a rough battle, with freaks coming from all sides with crossbows, spiked shields, and maces. I wasn't even sure if I'd make it out alive, thanks to my health running dangerously low in the last ten seconds, and I had no pick-me-ups to help. I retreated to a safe place with scant time remaining, and when the dust settled, I was victorious.
My final score: 109 freaks killed, with three Superclaws dusted and a streak of 36 in a row, for a grand total of 112,290 points. This obliterated my previous high score of 108,420, which I set back in April in the castle with Wesker.
Today is a proud day for me as a fan of Resident Evil 4. Now if I could just break the 100,000 point barrier in the other three levels, things would be great.
Sunday, October 15, 2006; 1:20 p.m.
Like I said on Friday, there were some rumblings among my posse to go see The Grudge 2 last night. And that's exactly what we did. Moses and I picked up one of our Anderson County crew (since the other was unfortunately unavailable) and caught the 10:00 showing in Frankfort.
My honest opinion of the movie is that it's got a bad case of sequelitis. I just didn't think it was as good as the previous movie. That's only exascerbated by the fact that the plot teeters on the brink of incoherence. It has three seperate storylines going on at once, and because it bounces back and forth between them, it can make the movie hard to follow. If the movie followed a more linear method of storytelling, it probably wouldn't be so confusing. But I think if one can decipher a proper timeline of events, it might make a little more sense.
What it lacks in plot, the movie makes up for with atmosphere and visuals. The movie is thoroughly creepy, building up a certain level of suspense while lulling the viewer into a false sense of security in order to create more effective jump scares. And believe me, there's some really good jump scares. The Grudge 2 is a lot like its predecessor, in that there are a lot of jump scares to go around. Combine the jumps with the atmosphere, the spooky ghosts, and the downright frightening sound design, and you have all the makings of a horror movie that would have been a very disturbing one had it been a little easier to follow.
The acting is hit or miss, but it isn't too bad. Sarah Michelle Gellar is great despite a limited role, and Amber Tamblyn is really good (although she's no SMG). Takako Fuji, though stuck in a thankless role that doesn't require a lot of "traditional" acting, was quite frightening as the malevolent "onryo" she's played in all prior Grudge movies, both Japanese and American. The rest of the main cast - Arielle Kebbel, Edison Chen, and Matthew Knight - are not bad, but don't really stand out, either. I'm also saddened that Ryo Ishibashi is relegated to a rather mundane cameo. Ishibashi was great in the previous movie, but is unfortunately only around for one scene here. While he's great in the one scene, and it does hint of his character's eventual fate, I personally would have been satisfied if he had been given Edison Chen's role.
As a whole, The Grudge 2 isn't all it could have been. It isn't awful, but it almost seems like just a quick way for the filmmakers to capitalize on the previous movie's success. However, with a little work, I think it could have been just as good as the previous movie. Perhaps an eventual unrated DVD will help correct that? But as it stands, I'm going to give The Grudge 2 three and a half stars. And if the movie taught me anything at all, it's to stay out of haunted houses and Japanese no-tell motels. Though that's just good advice in general.
Friday, October 13, 2006; 11:10 p.m.
I'm watching Friday the 13th, Part 8 on Bravo right now. That's the one where Jason goes to New York City, but spends the majority of the movie on a cruise ship. So I'm watching this, and I got to thinking about Jason's role in the franchise. He's ostensibly the villain, but with every new entry in the series, I find myself cheering more and more for Jason. Pretty much everybody he kills has it coming, which really paints Jason as more of an anti-hero than a villain.
Yes, Jason kills nearly indiscriminately, as we see him avoid killing children in the sixth movie. (Though, to be honest, that doesn't explain why he wanted to kill a young Corey Feldman so badly in Part 4.) Most of Jason's quarry are jocks, slutty party girls, bullies, potheads, and the occasional nerd. In later movies, it seems he kills for the sake of killing, with no real rhyme or reason. But in the early going, his kills were revenge for the death of his mother and for his own supposed drowning as a child. By that logic, there's an argument for Jason being considered the horror genre's answer to The Punisher. As I said earlier, his victims more or less ask for it, especially in each further installment of the series.
I've also noticed that with each new sequel, Jason's kills become less scary and more outrageous. It's as if someone said, "Okay, guys, Jason isn't as scary anymore, so let's see if we can make him cool instead." Just watch some of the later sequels, and you'll see what I mean. In the early movies, his kills were simple. Mainly just a lot of stabbings, with the occasional broken neck or head-squashing. But from about the middle of the series on, the kills get bigger, badder, and a lot more violent. While part of it is probably catering to the gorehounds in the audience, it also works to make people say, "holy crap, did you see that?!" during the movies. I also think that since Jason is more "cool" than "scary" nowadays, the creative kills are his main drawing point. So why not accentuate the positives, deemphasize the negatives. Why do a simple machete to the chest when you can punch somebody's head clean off their shoulders and slam dunk it in a dumpster?
I don't really know where I was headed with this post when I began it. When I started, I just felt like posting, and I decided to talk about the fist thing that popped into my mind. And really, what's better to talk about on Friday the 13th than the Friday the 13th movies? not a lot, that's what. And I've pretty much talked myself out for tonight. I should be back later with some Saturday the 14th talk, if everything goes according to plan. Me and my crew were aiming to see The Grudge 2 tomorrow night, but I just need to get ahold of everybody else and make sure we're all on the same wavelength in regards to that. So until then, true believers, excelsior.
Friday, October 13, 2006; 1:37 p.m.
Happy Friday the 13th, everybody. I hope nobody's walked under any ladders or had any black cats cross their paths or had any psychos in hockey masks try to inflict any grievous bodily harm upon them. If any of that has happened to you readers, I guess my advice is "better luck next time."
As someone who enjoys days like today, I think it's especially cool that we've got one of those rare occasions where there's a Friday the 13th in the same month as Halloween. That means I'm probably going to end up overdosing on horror movies this month. And that's awesome.
So Halloween is coming up in a few weeks, and two days after that - three weeks from yesterday, to be specific - is this here blog's fifth birthday. I usually make it a point to celebrate Halloween to the fullest extent I possibly can, but I'm especially looking forward to November 2nd. I haven't really celebrated past blogiversaries, but this one is big. It's special. It's my quinquennial. I've always had a certain amount of pride is knowing that this very blog is one of the oldest of the loose circle of affiliated blogs that it is a part of, so I'm going to be celebrating my tenure in high fashion.
I don't want to jump too deep into this post, since I want to save a little something for the big day. But between today, Halloween, and November 2nd, the next few weeks aren't going to be all that bad.
Saturday, October 7, 2006; 10:10 p.m.
Got a review of Hard Candy up over at "Sutton At The Movies." I meant to do get this done last week, but I got about halfway through before I put it off to review Supergirl. At least I got it done, so I guess waiting a week or two didn't really hurt it all that bad.
So now that that's out of the way, what do I have to talk about? That is a mystery even to me, my friends. Wait, on second thought, I take that back. I do have some things after all!
Moses and I were in Danville to see School For Scoundrels on Tuesday, and after the movie, we decided to go over to Wal-Mart to hang out for a while. We didn't really intend on hanging out all that long, mainly because Moses just wanted to pick up the new X-Men 3 and Fast and the Furious 3 DVDs and probably the fifth season of Smallville if he could find it. But we ended up getting into this long - and I mean long - conversation with some guy we bumped into in the electronics department. We were probably there for a good hour and a half, two hours. We ended up going from what we liked and disliked about X-Men 3, to why Maury Povich's show sucks, to Waverly Hills Sanatorium up in Louisville, to Biblical apocrypha. How we got from one subject to the next, I have no clue. But hey, it was actually a pretty fun conversation. So we got that, and Moses ended up acquiring X-Men 3, Fast and the Furious 3, and a documentary about Waverly Hills that aired on the Sci-Fi Channel.
Having done that, we decided to head out. And as we got out of the parking lot, I ended up noticing a comic book store in the shopping center just off the main highway. This was the first time I'd seen the place, and I've been wishing for a comic book store that was closer to home, so we totally stopped by. We didn't get to stay long, since the place was about 15 minutes from closing up for the night, but I'm totally going to be in there whenever I have the opportunity and money to burn. I'm going to have to keep some comics I'd like to acquire in mind, maybe even keep an eye out for a "Help Wanted" sign once I get on my feet and do some job hunting.
And that was pretty much it for the day. I probably would have posted about it earlier, but the last few days haven't exactly been kind to me. But eh, I did pretty much the same thing last week, so whatever. Either way, I'm wrapping this one up here. Out.
Thursday, October 5, 2006; 7:21 p.m.
I'm still not feeling as good as I'd like to, but I have improved a little over how I was feeling last night. I'm just weak as a kitten, and I haven't had anything resembling an appetite all day. But I guess that's to be expected.
However, I did manage to work up enough energy to finish something I'd been working on for the last few days. And that something is a brand new review! This time around, the review is of the one and only Supergirl. I just need to get around to reviewing Superman Returns, and I'll have the entire franchise done.
Speaking of movies, I saw School For Scoundrels in Danville on Tuesday. It was a little slow at the beginning, but it picked up steam as it progressed. I really liked Billy Bob Thornton, and Jon "Napoleon Dynamite" Heder isn't bad, but I think the movie really had a hard time balancing the dark humor with the "dork gets the girl" thing. If it stayed closer to being a dark comedy, I personally think it would have been a little funnier. But I did enjoy the movie, so School For Scoundrels gets three and a half stars.
And that's about it for this one. I'm going to go relax and get ready for the next episode of Smallville. Later.
Thursday, October 5, 2006; 12:29 a.m.
Gonna try to keep this one short, but tonight was the absolute suck. I feel way too weak, and I should probably be in bed right now. And that's where I'm headed as soon as I get this post finished. So let's get this done so I can get myself a little rest.
Moses and I were headed back up to Lawrenceburg, which I guess has become something of a weekly trend. We mainly went to return some DVDs he rented last week, but we ended up hanging out with Jennifer and Tiff too. Dropped off the videos, ran by Kroger so Jennifer could fill out a job application, then headed over to Wendy's. That's when I discovered that Wendy's has started selling vanilla Frostys, one of which I just had to get. It wasn't bad at all, but what was bad was the fact that my stomach was oddly hurting before I got into the restaurant.
We headed back to Jennifer's afterwards, and played a few video games. I love Resident Evil 4, but I never realized just how much I favored the GameCube version until I played the PS2 version. It took me forever to learn the controls, and even then I had no clue what I was doing. I normally dominate at the Mercenaries game, but I played twice and topped out at 15,000 points before I got killed both times. I think I'll stick with the GameCube version, thank you.
Normally, it would have been a fun night. Like I said before, I was having some odd stomach aches. These aches lasted all night, until a fit of coughing segued into full-on vomiting. I don't know why it happened, but I do know it pretty much killed all my fun. I thought that the vomiting would be the end of my troubles, but nope, it wasn't. Moses and I were on the road to home about half an hour ago, and I had to tell Moses to pull over so I could throw up again. Ugh.
It's been a good long while since I've felt this horrible, and I don't like it one bit. I don't know how I got this way, but I do have an idea; one of the kids my mom babysits has a stomach virus, and I probably caught it from her. I'm not sure, but I do know that I am sick as a dog, and I hope I feel better in the morning.
So with that, I head off to bed. Here's hoping I'm not so sick in the morning.
Sunday, October 1, 2006; 5:25 p.m.
So now we've entered the month of October. The year seems like it's just flown by. It'll be Halloween just four weeks from Tuesday, and I'm totally looking forward to that.
But this past week has just sapped nearly all of my strength, mainly because Tuesday and Wednesday were so crammed full of activity. Tuesday saw myself and Moses head up to Bardstown. He had an 8:00 appointment to get his car's windows tinted, so we dropped the car off and walked around town. Unfortunately, because there aren't any sidewalks in that section of town, we had to walk in the grass on the side of the road. That wouldn't be too bad normally, but thanks to all the rain we got last weekend, the ground was still really wet and nasty. So when you combine that with my crappy shoes, I ended up feeling like I was walking around in a puddle all day. That was boatloads of fun. </sarcasm>
But anyway, we hit up Burger King for breakfast first. Have you seen those Meat'normous sandwiches that Burger King sells? It's two sausage patties, two eggs, cheese, ham, and bacon on a bun. The thing clogs my arteries just thinking about it. It can't be healthy, but I tried one anyway, and it wasn't bad. Though to be honest, I'll take a bacon, egg, and cheese McGriddle from McDonald's any day of the week.
After that, Kroger. Moses has an uncle that works there, so he wanted to swing by and say howdy. I also think that Moses has developed an affection for scratch-off lottery tickets. He got particularly hooked back in Augist, when we spent a good long while at the Kentucky lottery booth at the state fair. The reason I mention this is because as we headed out of Kroger, we stopped over at the little lottery ticket machines by the door so he could buy a few scratch-off tickets. I think he just about broke even, which is better than a loss, right?
From Kroger, we started to head back in the direction of the car shop. Just to kill a little time, we made a stop at the Movie Gallery down the street from the place. What really attracted me was the racks of used DVDs Movie Gallery had on sale. Most of them were priced between ten and fifteen dollars, but quite a few were marked down to five bucks. Needless to say, we made pretty good use of that deal. So we took our movies, picked up the car, and had a movie night that evening. And that was Tuesday.
Wednesday was a little bit slower, but still a busy day. Again, it involved Moses and I hanging around. But instead of Bardstown, we handed up to Lawrenceburg to hang out with our Anderson County associates Jennifer and Tiffany. It was mostly us sitting around at Jennifer's house, but we did get around to watching some of the Supergirl movie, played a little of the Punisher PS2 game, then caught House of the Dead 2 on the Sci-Fi Channel. Good times.
Yeah, this is a post (or two) I could have made last week. But I'm slow, sue me. But really, any time is a good time to post. Am I right? Of course I am. I do think I might have another post like this later in the week, though. Moses and I are thinking of making some more Lawrenceburg plans, especially since he's got to return some DVDs to Lawrenceburg's Movie Gallery on Wednesday. But we'll see what happens, because we're spur-of-the-moment people. Until then, true believers, excelsior.
Thursday, September 28, 2006; 9:13 p.m.
Tonight saw the sixth season premiere of Smallville. I really enjoy Smallville, but the crappy thing is that if I watch it, it means I have to miss My Name Is Earl. Why couldn't NBC just put Deal Or No Deal on at 8:00 and My Name Is Earl and The Office on at 9:00 and 9:30 like last season? It wouldn't have been so bad, then. But I guess if I have to choose one or the other, I can wait for summer reruns to see what I miss. So let's recap the episode:
So Clark's fought freaks hopped up on Kryptonite steroids, other Kryptonians, witches, vampires, and now a ghost from the Phantom Zone? Can't we just save that for a throwaway Halloween episode like when Lana was a vampire?
In other news, Jimmy Olsen made his Smallville debut, as played by Aaron Ashmore, twin brother of Shawn (Iceman from the X-Men trilogy). It makes me wonder what other DC characters they can bring in. The Green Arrow is set to be in seven episodes at least, there's talk of Michael McKean showing up as Perry White (reprising his role from a few seasons back), and there's even a rumor going around that Aquaman, The Flash, and Cyborg are going to show up one more time to join Clark and Green Arrow as a quasi-Justice League. Yeah, Cyborg is a Teen Titan, not a member of the Justice League, but when did Smallville's producers ever let the comics get in the way of them telling a story?
But the episode was not bad. Not great, but not awful. It wasn't one of the best episodes I've seen, but for an episode that tried to wrap up last season's loose ends and establish something new for this season, I can't complain. We'll see where this goes next week.
Monday, September 25, 2006; 4:33 p.m.
I've been talking about it, and I've finally got it done. That double feature of reviews is finished, ripe and ready for you readers to check out. For your approval, I submit my reviews of the 1979 and 2006 versions oif the horror movie When A Stranger Calls.
Now that I've got them done, I can finally rid myself of the memory of having seen the remake. I wish I could kick that movie in the teeth. And the sad part is that I didn't realize just how awful it was when I first saw it back in February. Needless to say, I realized my mistake and was less kind this time around.
So enough of me, go read the reviews and enjoy.
Monday, September 25, 2006; 1:23 a.m.
Do you want to know something that really stinks? Making a 35-minute trip to somewhere you didn't know was closed. Me and my usual running buddy Moses were aiming to head to the drive-in theater in Harrodsburg to see a double feature of Invincible and The Wicker Man, but when we got there, nobody was in the box office and the parking lot was empty. Naturally, we thought things seemed a little suspicious. So we pulled in anyway and figured we'd see if anybody was manning the concession stand. The place was locked up and no lights were on, but someone who'd pulled in behind us hollered and said they saw somebody behind the place walking around, so I headed back there to ask what was up. The guy back there informed me that due to not-so-great weather, the place wasn't going to be rolling any movies. He also mentioned that the place would probably be closing for the winter soon. We left, and needless to say, we were pretty bummed for a few minutes.
But since there was another theater a few minutes away over in Danville, we figured we'd just skip ahead to some of our plans for Tuesday and catch the 9:40 showing of Jackass: Number Two. And folks, this movie isn't for the squeamish. It's very fitting that John Waters, the king of cinematic sleaze, has a cameo, because the movie repeatedly dips into the realm of the scatological with joyful glee. There's blood, feces (both human and equestrian), a certain bodily fluid from a horse (no, not urine), and an insane amount of uncomfortable male nudity. But even at it's most disgusting, the movie is still perversely funny if you're into frat boy humor. However, as with the original movie, you'll only enjoy the sequel if you're a fan of the television show that inspired it. And truth be told, if you didn't like the show, then you probably won't be seeing the movie anyway.
Because the movie is successful in its attempt to both gross out its target audience as well as make them laugh, I'll give Jackass: Number Two a solid three and a half stars and a recommendation only to fans of the show.
I also have to admit that I really like the five-dollar pizza deal at Little Caesars. I'm more of a Pizza Hut kind of guy, but you can't beat a pizza that's cheap and of decent quality. I bring this up because me and Moses swung by the Harrodsburg Little Caesars before the movie, since we had two hours to kill until the movie and we were a little hungry. My only complaint is that Little Caesars is a carry-out place. I don't necessarily have a problem with that, but sometimes, I think Little Caesars would do well to put picnic tables or some benches outside their locations for people who don't want to take their pizzas and head home right away.
But I don't run the place, so what do I know?
Friday, September 22, 2006; 11:57 p.m.
You know, I never feel really old until I have to do something regarding my old high school.
Myself and my usual running buddy Moses went to our old stomping grounds, Washington County High School, to attend the football team's homecoming game against Louisville Christian Academy. The first half wasn't bad at all, with W.C. leading 13-0 at halftime. But then, as they say on VH1's Behind The Music, it all came crashing down.
No, Washington County didn't lose. They didn't even play. After the crowning of the homecoming king and queen at halftime, the teams returned to the sidelines, only to leave again after a few minutes. There was some pretty nasty lightning coming through the area, and I guess both teams and 99% of the crowd decided to leave and avoid the weather. Of course, that led me and a few others to joke that since we only got to see half a game, we should go up to the ticket booth and ask for half of our money back.
Moses and I hung around for at least an hour or two with the hopes that the game would get started again, but we ended up leaving around 10:00 and headed to Pizza Hut before it closed. Word was that the teams just agreed to postpone the second half of the game until tomorrow. But screw that, I'm declaring NASCAR Rules. The game was halfway over and Washington County was in the lead, so I'm going to call it a win for us.
A moral victory is still a victory of some kind. Am I right?
Friday, September 22, 2006; 1:30 p.m.
I posted last week about some of my projects, about how I was hoping to do a double feature of reviews plus a third one. Unfortunately, the third one has temporarily fallen through due to circumstances beyond my control. But I'm hoping to get it written whenever I can, and the double feature is still going to happen regardless. I promise.
As it stands now, I think my recent review writing binge is going to continue for a while. I had the idea of jotting down which movies on my Netflix queue I'd like to write about, but I discovered that it would be just as easy to make a note of which ones I didn't want to write about. I think my efforts are going to need to be halved, otherwise I'll be doing nothing but writing these reviews. If I were getting paid for it, that'd be one thing. But it's just a hobby now, so I'll be doing them at my leisure.
But there are quite a few reviews that I really would like to write. I'd like to do a few comedies, which will be good because S@TM's sea of reviews could stand to be a little bit deeper. Man cannot live on horror alone, can he?
Anyway, I already have the first review in the double feature finished, but the second one is going to be as hard to write as the first. I say so because the movie is so mind-numbingly awful that I'm having a hard time thinking of ways to insult it. I just can't bring myself to mock it without getting angry about how bad it is. I'd rather hit myself in the groin with a sledgehammer than talk about this movie. It's not as awful as Pulse, but it's still pretty horrible. And that's one of S@TM's unspoken mission statements: I watch garbage so you don't have to. Except for Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector. I'm not watching that movie, even if you paid me.
Which is rather sad, actually. I'll watch Catwoman, Superman 4, Batman & Robin, and House of the Dead, but I wouldn't touch Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector with a ten-foot pole. And why is that? Because Larry the Cable Guy is the Antichrist.
That, and I'm just not ready to add negative stars to my ratings scale.
Saturday, September 16, 2006; 12:49 p.m.
So here I am looking to make a post, but I'm completely stumped for topics of discussion. I had a perfectly good theme lined up and everything, but so help me, I forgot what it was. Don't you hate when that happens?
But I can think of something to talk about. Like some of the projects I'm working on. I finished up a new review Thursday night as part of a double feature. I haven't started on the second half yet, but depending on how Netflix decides to work, I may have to put it on hold temporarily. There's a movie hitting DVD store shelves on Tuesday that I'd like to review if and when Netflix ships it out to me. But if they don't, I'll be getting to work on that second review. So either way, I'm getting another review written. Whether it's two or three when I get them all posted, we'll see.
I have to admit that the first review was a real chore to write after a while. The deeper I got into it, the less I wanted to write. Not because I didn't want to write, but because I just didn't want to talk about the movie anymore. The sheer nonsense that was the movie sucked out part of my soul, and if I was a lesser man, the entire review probably would have consisted of a picture of me sitting in a corner curled up in the fetal position, sobbing my eyes out. It would look kinda like that scene from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective where Jim Carrey freaks out after discovering Sean Young's deep dark secret. Maybe not 100% like that, but almost.
It'll probably be the same way when it comes to writing the second review. I've only seen the movie once a few months ago, but I remember it being nothing short of mediocre, with a main character so stupid that it's almost offensive. Hopefully it isn't as awful the second time around.
I'm going to wrap this up here. Perhaps more later, if I have something to say. Ciao.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006; 6:49 p.m.
Moses, my sister Bet, and myself all got together this afternoon so we could take in a movie. I got put in charge of picking what we saw, so I decided upon Hollywoodland. We had to drive all the way up to Lexington to see it, but since we had to go up there to run some errands anyway, so that was no big deal.
Unfortunately, our opinions of the movie were decidedly mixed. Moses fell asleep two or three times, Bet didn't like it (claiming that she had no clue what was going on), and I thought it was great.
The movie centers around a private investigator (played by Adrien Brody) following a trail of clues that hint actor George Reeves was murdered, not a victim of suicide as claimed. In a subplot running concurrently, we follow Reeves (played by Ben Affleck) through flashbacks on his road to stardom as Superman and his eventual death, along with his affair with Toni Mannix (played by Diane Lane), the wife of powerful movie studio executive Eddie Mannix (played by Bob Hoskins).
Personally, I found the movie to be a very intriguing, very engrossing modern film noir. Each performance is exemplary (especially Affleck, believe it or not), and Allen Coulter's direction is sound. Though the movie relies almost too heavily on flashbacks and seemingly runs a wee bit too long despite clocking in at only two hours, six minutes, Hollywoodland is an interesting look into the seedy underbelly of Hollywood's golden days. My final verdict: four stars and a big thumbs up. Go check it out, if it's playing around you.
Friday, September 8, 2006; 4:39 p.m.
Going back to the well, I've got one more movie review up for you faithful readers. Want to know what it is? Do you? Huh?
Well, I'll tell you. This time around it's the British horror film The Descent. If you haven't gotten a chance to see the movie, you're really missing out on an awesome movie.
But it doesn't stop there. I've got another one or two more reviews I've put some thought into writing, and hopefully they'll be done by the end of the month. I'm not giving myself a particular time table because I like to work slowly, but I'm hoping to have at least one done by then.
Thursday, September 7, 2006; 5:02 p.m.
I was going through some of my older posts the other day, and I wasn't exactly thrilled with my recap of the first episode of Who Wants To Be A Superhero? I was a little harsh regarding the episode, and besides, I only covered the second half of it. So via the magic of the Internet (and my favorite peer-to-peer downloading program), we're going back in time to review the premiere episode of my favorite new reality show.
We open with our friendly neighborhood announcer explaining the show's concept: comic book legend Stan Lee is searching for "the next great superhero." After an extensive casting call featuring would-be contestants pitching a character of their own invention, the twelve contestants selected will be tested on their superhero mettle. And the ultimate prize: immortality. The winner receives a comic book written by Stan The Man and published by Dark Horse Comics, along with their own "Sci-Fi Channel Original" movie.
After clips of the auditions, we are introduced to the contestants:
Once all of our heroes have arrived, they get to know one another. And by "get to know one another," I mean "do a conga line." I wish I was making that up. Once everyone got there, they had a few drinks and decided to party. But right when everybody starts having fun, Stan The Man pops up on a monitor and decides to play the role of the party pooper.
I just have to quote Stan, because this is too good:
"Hold it there! This is serious business! Don't you realize what you're there for? We're looking for the next superhero! I spent my life creating superheroes, and they don't act like that!"
You tell 'em, Stan!
Anyway, Stan pops up to announce that the heroes will be moving out of their current location and into a secret lair. He tells them he's arranged for them to travel in something "very inconspicuous," but he and I must have a different definition of that word, because he has them picked up by one of those stretch Hummer limousines. Oh, that's totally inconspicuous. Nobody would ever notice a bunch of people in spandex outfits wheeling around in a tank.
The twelve heroes are immediately taken aback by their new lair, because on the outside, it looks like a run-down warehouse in the middle of the ghetto. They're not even sure if it's the right place until they open up the front door and see Stan's grinning mug on a monitor. He confirmed that this was their destination after all, but announced that one of them would not be allowed inside. That piece of news also came with the revelation that one of the contestants is one of Stan's assistants, a spy enlisted to weed out the least worthy superhero.
Each of them made accusations, before Rotiart proclaimed that his name is "traitor" spelled backwards. Well, gee, isn't that convenient. It does make sense that he'd be the spy, since he didn't seem all that interested in interacting with the others. It didn't help that he wasn't in the opening credits, either. Rotiart informed the others that he'd been taping the others with a hidden camera (as opposed to the other cameras sitting out in the open filming them?), and found three contestants whose intentions he'd found to be a little suspect.
First up was Levity, who builds customized action figures and thinks one of himself could make boatloads of money if he wins. Secondly was Creature, who was being way too flirty with a number of the male heroes, which Stan thought made her look like she was just there to hook up. And thirdly was Iron Enforcer, who had no problem boasting about how deadly he was. All three were put up on the chopping block, but Stan decided that it was Levity who would be the first to turn in his costume. Rotiart escorted him away, and Stan allowed the remaining ten into the lair.
The place doesn't look like much when they enter, and the freight elevator they have to take looks like it'd crash at any minute, but their lair isn't as bad as the exterior. It's actually pretty ritzy, believe it or not. Stan called them into the dining room and informed them that since he could not test their powers, he would test them on their values. He gave each of them a communicator so he could speak to them personally, and told them that the day ahead would be a big one.
The reason it was such a big day is because it marked their first challenge. One at a time, the superheroes were to change from their civilian clothes into their superhero costumes in an inconspicuous location, then race across a town plaza to a designated checkpoint. They originally believed it was a test of speed, but there was a catch. There's always a catch. As the heroes ran through the plaza, they'd have to run past a lost little girl crying for her mother. Unbeknownst to the heroes, she was their real objective. Those who stopped to check on her passed, while those who didn't failed.
Of the ten heroes, only four (Fat Momma, Cell Phone Girl, Lemuria, and Major Victory) stopped to check on the girl. What kind of hero ignores a crying child? I'd buy Iron Enforcer ignoring her, because he looks like the kind of superhero that would be way too focused on kicking the everloving snot out of a supervillain. That poor crying child would probably be caught up in the crossfire and collateral damage and whatnot. And I will have to give Monkey Woman style points, for staying in character by climbing a tree in order to change her costume.
Stan dropped the bombshell about the little girl after each had finished, then called them all back to the lair, where they would meet on the roof at their normal chopping block. This time around, he first called up Nitro G, citing his failure to change into his costume conspicuously, as he instead opted to do it out where he could be easily seen. He even called Nitro G down for grinning with embarrassment ("Stop smiling! This is very serious."). Second up was Monkey Woman, who Stan thought actually saw the little girl but kept running anyway. And lastly was Iron Enforcer, whose violent tendencies still didn't sit well with Stan.
Each of them was given an opportunity to explain why they shouldn't be cut. Each of them explained that they simply didn't pay any attention to her, and all three asked for a second chance. But somebody has to go, and that somebody is Nitro G. Stan asked him to turn in his costume, and wished the remaining nine the best of luck. Roll credits.
Thus endeth the debut episode of Who Wants To Be A Superhero?. Personally, I thought the show drastically improved after this episode, because this one seemed like they were still working out all the kinks. It also helped that we really started getting to know the contestants in the second episode, since we really didn't know any of them. Especially Levity, considering he only lasted halfway into the episode.
I'll admit that I wasn't 100% sold upon seeing this episode the first time. But as I tuned in the next week and the week after that, it really began to grow on me. It helped that I thought the contestants were quite entertaining too, which is an important part of any show.
And now it's back to waiting for Season Two. If there is one, I'll see you back here then. Until then, true believers, excelsior.
A friend of the blog wrote a post yesterday about the various writing talent of her associates, and among the items spoken of was a certain attempt at a screenplay written by yours truly. I figure that now is a good time as any to talk about the status of that project.
To tell you the truth, I haven't touched it in quite some time. I don't have any particular direction I'm aiming for, nor can I think of any way to connect the one or two scenes I've managed to think up. Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. I don't have a set outline I want to follow, and I don't have any sort of resolutions I'm aiming for at this juncture in the process. I'm just writing Scene #1, Scene #2, Scene #3, and so on, making it all up in my head as I go along. (And I'm not making up much, since I'm stuck on Scene #3 with no clue where to go next.)
Sometimes I wonder if writing this script is what I've been put here to do. I've wanted to do something like this for the longest time, but it isn't coming as naturally as I thought it would. Is it supposed to be this hard? Perhaps it's my severe lack of life experience. Perhaps it's the fact that I've seen so many movies that I can't think of any way to do a scene without doing it like something else. I don't know.
But as I said, I just wonder if this is what I should be doing. My self-depriciating comments regarding my writing talent merely echo my own fears. I've gotten the reviews thing down pat, and I love doing those. But when it comes to the script, I don't know what I'm doing or how to knock it out when I do know. This is something I've wanted to forever, and now that I've finally made an attempt, it's not what I thought it would be. I may put it on hold until I can acquire some material to work with. Might take months, might take years. I don't know.
Why can't this writing thing come with an instruction manual or a road map or something?
Tuesday, September 5, 2006; 11:23 p.m.
It's odd how things can go sometimes. I was talking about how boring my weekend was on Sunday, then I have all kinds of activities to partake in yesterday and today. I'm so tired I can barely type this, but I'm going to tough it out.
Let's start with Monday, shall we? Myself, Moses, and our Lawrenceburg peeps Tiff and Jennifer went to Frankfort for what was originally concieved as a trip to see either Beerfest or The Wicker Man. There was no movie, as the trip ended up with us making a stop at Pizza Hut before going bowling. The sign in front of the bowling alley advertised 99-cent games between 3:00 and 7:00, so we totally took advantage of that. And even with the gutter bumpers in play (since gutter balls totally suck), I never broke 100. Though we all hovered somewhere between 80 and 100, to be honest. After the bowling, we headed back to Jennifer's house to watch Monday Night Raw, and I finally got back home at midnight. So a long and tiring, yet fun, day.
Which brings us to today. Moses and I headed up to Lexington for the 1:20 showing of Beerfest, and both of us really liked it. Both of us are fans of the Broken Lizard troupe, and I personally don't feel disappointed at all. The tale can be explained relatively quickly: Two brothers recruit a team to participate in the underground Olympics of drinking games during Oktoberfest, so they can defeat a team of Germans and defend the honor of their deceased great-grandfather. So as you can assume, nearly the whole thing is comprised of jokes involving beer. There's so many beer jokes, in fact, that the movie opened with a "don't try this at home" warning. Outside of the Jackass movies, I can't think of one movie that's featured one of those.
I enjoyed Broken Lizard's characters (especially Jay Chandrasekhar), but I really loved the German team. I'm a fan of Eric Christian Olsen and Saturday Night Live cast member Will Forte, and them alone makes me hope that the German team will have more screen time in the inevitable unrated DVD. I also got quite a laugh out of the numerous references to movies like Predator, An American Werewolf in London, and Broken Lizard's own Super Troopers, and even Jürgen Prochnow making a "wink wink, nudge nudge" reference to his starring role in Das Boot.
Like I said, I'm a Broken Lizard fan, and I laughed my head off throughout Beerfest. I'm going to agree with what Libby said and give it three and a half stars. I approve.
After the movie, we made a stop at White Castle for some lunch, then headed over to Fayette Mall for a few hours of window shopping. The only real bad part of window shopping is that I always end up finding stuff I like but can't afford. I hate when that happens. But after a long day of moviegoing and hanging around a mall, we rolled back home at somewhere around 9:00. Good day, it was.
And I'm out of here for now. Back again some other time.
Sunday, September 3, 2006; 8:19 p.m.
I hope everybody is having a great Labor Day weekend. Things are moving kind of slowly here. The sky's been kinda gloomy and it's looked like it was going to rain all weekend, so things have been moving slower than usual. That's the biggest reason I'm posting despite having nothing to talk about. I needed to stave off boredom for a few more minutes.
I don't know what kind of plans I have for tomorrow, but most of my recent plans have been spur of the moment anyway. I'm sure something, anything will come up. Even if it doesn't, I can keep myself busy by working on a new review for Sutton At The Movies. I'm halfway through one, and I have one or two more I'm considering doing soon. See what happens when I break my hiatus from reviewing? I do one, and it snowballs from there.
And that's all I've got. Out.
Thursday, August 31, 2006; 10:04 p.m.
This is it, folks. Tonight's the last episode of the first season of Who Wants To Be A Superhero?, along with my last review until season two starts. We're down to the wire, so let's see how things turn out.
As we saw last week, Feedback and Fat Momma are our finalists. We open with them preparing breakfast, when Stan The Man pops up on a monitor and announces that the two remaining heroes would be learning how to fly. They were taken to what Feedback described as a "superhero fantasy camp," where they were introduced to a stunt coordinator that worked on the Spider-Man movies and hooked up to a harness for some wirework. After enjoying that for a little while, they moved into some fight coordination (including a mock fight between them) before jumping off a big swing in front of a green screen. Well, Feedback did some jumps, but Fat Momma chickened out because she was scared of getting hurt. Can't really hold that against her, because I probably would have been the same way. They wrapped up with a little flying in front of the green screen, then headed back to the lair.
At the lair, Stan spoke to Fat Momma and Feedback seperately, asking each of them who their hero was. Feedback answered with Stan Lee himself, as he drew much inspiration from Stan's comics after his dad died. Meanwhile, Fat Momma's hero was her own ailing father. The two interviews were rather short, so we quickly transitioned to the final elimination ceremony. But instead of being held on the rooftop as usual, it was held in front of an audience at the CityWalk at Universal Studios Hollywood.
Both Fat Momma and Feedback were introduced to the audience with mock movie trailers filmed at the superhero fantasy camp earlier in the episode. They were pretty much the two heroes doing some goofy scenes and interacting with stock footage from Sci-Fi Channel productions, with Dark Enforcer making cameos in both of the trailers. And if you ask me, both of them were hilariously lame, but Fat Momma's was way worse.
We went to a commercial break after their introductions, and when we returned, Stan proclaimed it was time to announce who the last superhero to turn in their costume would be. And the final loser was... Fat Momma. That, of course, means Feedback is your winner. Fat Momma gave him a congratulatory speech that sounded like it was written on cue cards, and turned in her costume. Their families and the contestants eliminated previously all came out to congratulate them (even Dark Enforcer, who apparently returned to his old Iron Enforcer gimmick), and even Stan Lee showed up to congratulate Feedback in person. Roll credits.
So the first season has ended, and Feedback is "the next great superhero." It's too bad I'm not around any comic book shops, because I would buy at least the first issue of Feedback's comic. And I'm looking forward to seeing how his movie turns out too. I'll admit that Feedback wasn't my first choice or even my second one, but I'm satisfied with him being the winner. It definitely beats Fat Momma, in any event.
I'm looking forward to season two, should Stan Lee and the Sci-Fi Channel decide to do it. And I'd totally watch it, because I'm having fun doing these little recaps. But until then, true believers, excelsior.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006; 12:27 a.m.
I headed out to the theater with my usual partner in crime Moses, and finally got around to seeing two movies I'd been planning on checking out. The fun part of seeing two movies that have been out for a while on a late Monday afternoon means that very few people will be out seeing movies. So what did that mean for us? Moses and I are the only ones in the theater for both movies.
First up was the 4:55 showing of Accepted. The movie, about a crew of misfits that start a fake college after each get rejected by every other school they applied to, wasn't too bad at all. It's not a classic, but it has a lot of laughs while making me wish that my school had been like that. Accepted made me laugh, and Lewis Black is exceptionally great, so I'll give the movie a solid three stars.
We followed that up with the 7:30 showing of Snakes on a Plane. Every good thing you've heard about Snakes is absolutely true. It's typical B-movie fare, but it's just so much fun that even the bad is good. I enjoyed the movie so much that I felt exhausted after watching it, no lie. Quite a few jump scares, entertaining performances, snakes upon snakes upon snakes on a plane, I couldn't help being felt like I'd been on a rollercoaster ride of a movie. And because it exceeds all the expectations I had for it, Snakes on a Plane gets four stars and the Sutton At The Movies seal of approval. Go see it if you haven't yet.
And that's all for this episode. Out.
Monday, August 28, 2006; 4:07 p.m.
Libby's breaking her movie rental moratorium, so I might as well break my writing moratorium while we're at it.
I've got a new entry for the Sutton At The Movie archives, one I've been looking to do for a few months now. And now that the DVD is out, I figure now is as good a time as any to work up my review of Silent Hill. So check it out, won't you?
Thursday, August 24, 2006; 10:09 p.m.
Once again, it's Thursday night, which means it's time for my Who Wants To Be A Superhero? recap. Last week, Creature was eliminated because of youthful indiscretions along with jaywalking during a challenge, and Lemuria was cut for failing to sit in the lap of a convict (who I discovered a little while ago was an actress) for ten seconds. But that was last week, so let's get into what happens this week.
This week's episode began with Stan calling the three remaining heroes together to inform them that they would be facing "the toughest judges of all." And with that, we transitioned to an elementary school classroom, where the heroes were scheduled to speak to the students. But first, before they began, Stan surprised them by presenting them with their own poster-sized personalized comic book covers. Though if they wanted it to be a big reveal to the viewers, they could have tried a little harder, since a little bit of searching online can turn up each contestant's comic cover.
Anyway, with that out of the way, it was then time for the heroes to give their presentations to the students. Feedback took the stage first, explaining his origin to the class and how it relates to video games. And really, the class looked like he was trying to explain quantum physics to them. He took some questions after his speech, and one asked him what his favorite video game was. His answer: Pong. They interviewed the little girl who asked him that afterwards, and she stated, "I've never heard of Pong before. I think he made that up." And really, I'm not surprised. Pong came out in 1972, and these kids can't be any older than ten. Of course they won't know what Pong is. He could have at least said Super Mario Brothers or Sonic The Hedgehog or something.
Fat Momma was next, and she led the kids in her theme song. Do not ask me to transcribe the lyrics. Because I'm not going to. Anyway, she then presented the kids with the lesson that they shouldn't let kids tease them for being different. Wrapping up was Major Victory, who humorously explained his powers, saluted a doll dressed like Uncle Sam, and after one girl asked why he was concerned with his hair, he said that he had to be aerodynamic. Stan then had all the kids vote for who their favorite of the three was, with Fat Momma winning just barely over Major Victory. I think poor Feedback could count all his votes on one hand and have fingers left over. And thanks to losing the vote, Major Victory and Feedback ended up having to write "I will not pretend to be a superhero" over and over on the chalkboard while being supervised by Dark Enforcer.
They were then sent on their next challenge, which was essentially a timed scavenger hunt at Universal Studios Hollywood's "CityWalk" thoroughfare to see who could find Dark Enforcer the fastest. They first had to find a woman with a tattoo on her ankle. From her, they obtained a bottle of lotion with a clue instructing them to find a 200-pound man with a diamond earring, and rub the lotion on his stomach to find the next clue. From there, they were sent after a woman with short hair and a purse containing $33.50. At the bottom of the purse was another clue, directing them to the globe in the center of the area, where they'd finally find Dark Enforcer.
Major Victory went first, finishing with a time of fifteen minutes, 25 seconds. After him was Feedback, who found Dark Enforcer in fifteen minutes, 40 seconds. He probably would have been 30 seconds faster had he not had trouble picking up a penny that he'd dropped on the ground. And then there's Fat Momma. No official time was said, but it was said that she took right at forty minutes longer than Major Victory and Feedback to finish up. She probably would have got it done quicker, but she decided to stay in character by stopping every so often to grab a snack.
Back at the lair that night, Stan called another elimination. But before they could assemble on the roof, Fat Momma locked herself in a bathroom and refused to leave unless she could speak to one of the show's producers. One of the producers went in to talk to her, and she informed him that she wanted to quit the show if it meant Feedback got to stay, fearing that he was taking the show so seriously that he might have a breakdown if he lost. The producer decided to let her talk about it with Major Victory and Feedback, and when Feedback assured her that he was satisfied making it as far as he did, they agreed to leave the elimination up to Stan.
Up on the roof, Stan called all three up to the chopping block. He praised Fat Momma for her speech to the children, but was disappointed that she took an hour to finish the scavenger hunt. Stan then complimented Major Victory on his entertaining presentation to the kids, but felt that he didn't have a particular message or properly explain his origin like the other two. And in regards to Feedback, Stan noted that his speech went over everyone's heads, but commended his politeness in picking up the penny.
Unfortunately, he had to eliminate someone, and asked Major Victory to turn in his costume, citing his fear that his comedic personality could turn him into a parody of a superhero. Feedback started to step back onto the chopping block to protest, but the Major stopped him, deciding to abide by Stan's decision. As he headed for the exit, Stan called him back. Stan recalled an interview with Major Victory earlier in the episode, stating that his main goal on the show was to make his estranged teenage daughter proud, to which Stan added, "Mission accomplished." He directed Major Victory to a cell phone hidden behind his podium; on the line was his daughter, who informed her father that she thought he was a hero no matter what. The two made small talk before they agreed to speak privately later, and as Major Victory walked away, he cracked one last joke ("Can I keep the phone? This is a nice one.") before heading off. Roll credits.
And then there were two. This episode was a total bummer, because I've been cheering for Major Victory since the show began. But I guess things don't always work out the way you'd like them to. Out of the two remaining, I'm going to have to root for Feedback. I'm starting to warm up to him, and I've never been a fan of Fat Momma. But with one more episode left in the season, we've entered the home stretch. And I'll have all the news about it next week.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006; 10:45 a.m.
Welcome back to the show. I'd have probably posted this last night, but I didn't get home until somewhere in the neighborhood of 2:00 or 2:15 in the morning, and I headed directly to bed right after that.
Myself, Moses, and some of his co-workers went up to the state fair last night, mainly to check out the free Dwight Yoakam concert at Cardinal Stadium, the football/baseball stadium next to the fairgrounds. The show started at 8:00 (though people had been lining up as early as 3:30), with Exile as the opening act. I'd heard of Exile, though I only know of exactly one of their songs (which is pushing thirty years old, if I have my facts straight). They did put on a fun, entertaining show, wrapping up as the sun set around 9:00.
From there, we segue into an intermission. I should point out that during the intermission, random country music was played over the P.A. system, and at one point, they played Johnny Cash's "I Walk The Line." And believe it or not, that got some of the loudest cheers of the night, no lie.
After the intermission, the headliner took the stage at right around 9:30. I'll admit to not being quite familiar with Yoakam's music either (I only knew three of his songs prior to last night), but it was so much fun that I don't know if I can really put it into words. He played a lot of his own stuff, a little segment of Buck Owens covers, his cover of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire," then wrapped up with a little bluegrass before leaving the stage and eventually coming back for an encore.
Yoakam's set was great, but unfortunately, the majority of the crowd left halfway through because of how late in the evening it was getting. Some people just can't afford to sit all the way through a concert that ends super-late on a Monday night. Perhaps if Yoakam had got up on stage a little bit earlier, more people would have seen the whole show.
The last two days have been a lot of fun, even when you consider I'm weak as a kitten and I have a blister on one of my toes. I hadn't been to the state fair in five or six years, and if it weren't for the traffic and the crowd, I should really do that again next year.
Monday, August 21, 2006; 11:33 p.m
Okay, folks, this might be a short one because I'm worn out beyond belief. I should probably be asleep, but eh, screw it.
Myself, my usual partner in crime Moses, his mom, aunt, and cousin Amber, her brother's on-again/off-again lady friend Roberta, and Amber's infant daughter headed up to Louisville for the Kentucky State Fair. The place looked like it was a combination of a huge, big-budget flea market and a southern county fair, as one would expect from Kentucky's state fair. The crowd was enormous, too. But still, we had an absolute ball. And I also discovered that vanilla fudge is delicious, and that scratch-off lottery tickets can be addictive if you let yourself get too into them.
I unfortunately didn't get to ride any of the rides on the midway (or at the adjacent Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom), but they didn't open up until 4:00 anyway, and since I'd been there since 10:30 or so, I was so tired that I probably wouldn't have enjoyed any roller coasters. Truth be told, I'm not going to lose any sleep over that.
And that's about it. Out for now.
Thursday, August 17, 2006; 10:16 p.m.
I promised it, so I figure now is as good a time as any to do my weekly Who Wants To Be A Superhero? post. If you're gonna complain, you can just go somewhere else.
This week's episode opens up with Stan The Man commissioning the five remaining heroes out to do good deeds around the neighborhood. Major Victory jokingly stops a guy to tell him that the sack he's carrying doesn't match his outfit (recommending that the guy should wear some spandex like him) before helping some little old ladies across the street, Fat Momma stopped a cop from issuing a parking ticket because he was illegally parked himself, Lemuria yelled at a trucker who didn't use his turn signals, Feedback sent some jaywalkers to a crosswalk, and Creature stopped a litterbug and handed out clothes to some homeless people.
Stan congratulated them on their good deeds back at the lair, but then Dark Enforcer shows up on another television screen and informs everyone that he dug up some dirty little secrets about everyone. He then proceeds to roll some interviews with various persons from each hero's life, in which we learn:
Anyway, it's the mid-point of the episode, which means it's now time for an elimination. Major Victory, Fat Momma, and Creature were all called down to the chopping block. Stan said that he already knew going in that Major Victory is a former stripper, but was bothered by the fact that he was seemingly removing articles of clothing on a regular basis, citing how he removed his cape and covered a puddle while helping the little old ladies across the street.
He also believed that Fat Momma's past diets went against her statements that she was satisfied with her weight, while Creature was up for elimination due to her friend's accusations of littering and the fact that she jaywalked (and thus broke the law) during their good deeds earlier. Creature was unfortunately eliminated, and as she turned in her costume, she dared the four remaining heroes to "live hard, love harder, and be brave."
At lunch later, Stan announced that their next challenge was going to be rough: they would have to interact with convicted felons. Each superhero would be given a covert task they would have to do in order to succeed in their challenge:
Each signed a liability waiver, freeing the guards from lawsuits should the heroes be hurt, killed, or put in a hostage situation. The head guard asked if they had any questions, and Major Victory quipped, "They know this isn't a conjugal visit by me, right?" Without missing a beat, the guard came right back with something to the effect of, "I know that, but I don't know if they do."
Lemuria went in first, and met a female inmate named Dot. And to be truthful, Dot looks like a very scary, butch version of Aileen Wuornos. After pretty much being insulted and called an idiot in a stupid costume, Lemuria tried to hop in the inmate's lap. Big mistake. Dot immediately pushed her away and complained to the guard, who escorted Lemuria away. So that's a big failure. It was then time for Fat Momma to go in, and though Dot still thought the whole thing was a big joke, she still managed to succeed in brushing away her hair three times.
The guys were up next, and they got to interact with a big male convict named Terry. The guy must weigh at least 350 pounds if he weighed an ounce, and he's doing a life sentence for four murders. So he's a bad dude. Major Victory went in to speak to Terry first, and sneakily managed to work in his three massages by trying to talk the guy into sitting down and talking to him. He wouldn't sit down, but Major Victory succeeded, so he pretty much took his win and backed off.
Feedback wrapped things up, and convinced the lead guard to remove Terry's handcuffs as a sign of trust. (The guard got in another zinger after uncuffing Terry: "Now you're gonna see an ass-whoopin' on live TV.") Feedback tried to make a connection to Terry, empathizing with him that both of their fathers had suffered tragic deaths (Terry's was killed, Feedback's committed suicide). That opened Terry up, and when Feedback offered to keep in touch with him during his prison term, Feedback managed to work in all three hugs.
From here, we hit the home stretch. Stan was proud of Major Victory and Feedback for accomplishing their tasks the way they did, but had to call both Major Victory and Lemuria up to the chopping block; Lemuria because she barely even got her task started, and Major Victory because he just couldn't keep his costume on, having taken his cape and gloves off because he thought Terry would open up to him easier that way. But because of her failure, Lemuria was asked to turn in her costume.
As the episode wrapped up, Major Victory promised to keep his clothes on unless he has to make a deposit at the First National Porcealin Bank, while Feedback made an emotional speech that he wanted to make Stan proud. Because his father was never around, Feedback looked to Spider-Man comics as a way to escape from the rough time, and that he's tried to live up to Spidey's ideals ever since. Stan said that he didn't know if he was worthy of that distinction, but he was proud to have it. Roll credits.
This week's episode was good. Dark Enforcer's antics while the secrets were being revealed (waving a dollar bill at Major Victory, helping himself to a doughnut after Fat Momma's segment) were great, while Feedback made himself look like a real contender in the second challenge. I don't know if he was putting on a show for Stan The Man in order to stave off elimination, but he really did take one big heroic step forward in the contest.
What I'm really looking forward to is next week's episode. Major Victory, Fat Momma, and Feedback speak to some kids at a school, while there's an elimination that appears to be so dramatic, it even makes Stan cry. There's only three heroes left, so we're entering the home stretch next week. I'll be there, will you?
Thursday, August 17, 2006; 8:52 p.m.
Well, well, well... look who's here. Fancy meeting you in this neck of the woods. You want to hang out for a while, while I do this post? You do? Cool.
Truth be told, I don't really have anything off the top of my head for this post; I just felt like wasting a little time in front of the computer. But I've found that sometimes, the more entertaining posts are the ones where I don't really have any particular direction that I'd like to take things in.
But I'd kinda like to take this one somewhere. There's a few topics that could work, but not a lot of them really click right now. But there is one I've been thinking about today.
Myself and Libby were discussing the names of comic book characters and how they would sound as a child's name. Don't ask me how that got started, because I'm not 100% sure either. But we were talking abou it, so whatever. Anyway, I mentioned a couple, particularly Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson. Libby liked the idea of "Gwen Stacy Sutton" and "Mary Jane Sutton," and I can't disagree. But just my luck, little M.J. would would take her name to heart, start dating a pothead, and drive her poor father up a wall.
Libby also likes Shayera and Felicia Hardy, and after I thought of it, she liked Selina Kyle too. I like those names too, but like Libby said last night, a little girl named Hardy would probably question the sanity of her parents for giving her a name like that. Though it's no worse than celebrity kids like Audio Science Clayton, Pilot Inspektor Lee, or Apple Martin.
Yeah, it may sound kinda girly to think of baby names and whatnot, but when you have plenty of time on your hands like yours truly, you tend to do any sort of activity to occupy yourself. Besides, you never know when that sort of thing just might come in handy.
And that's all I've got for this go-around. I should be back later with my Who Wants To Be A Superhero? thoughts, so until then, true believers, excelsior.
Monday, August 14, 2006; 5:32 p.m.
Let's kill a little time on a lazy Monday, shall we? I mean, I'm here, you're here, the blog is here, so why don't we make the most of it and get to know one another a little better.
Even though it isn't until the second day of November, I've been thinking a lot about how far this little corner of the World Wide Web has come along since it was first concieved in a college dorm room five years ago. From its humble beginnings over on Tripod as a ripoff of my neighbor Kenny's blog in 2001, to the one-post-a-month period I've dubbed "The Dead Zone" in 2002, to the birth of Sutton At The Movies and the rise of the Delphi Blog Nation in 2003, to hitting my stride as a movie reviewer in 2004, to finding a little more maturity and talent as a blog caretaker in 2005, and the journey to Blogger this year, the evolution of The Matt Sutton Experience has been fun. Though to be totally honest, I'm surprised I've made it five years on this wild and wacky thing. (And I can't believe Sutton At The Movies has been around for three years, but that's a different story). But it's been an entertaining five years come November, and here's to five more.
You know, it seems like I've done this post before, and I just know I'll end up repeating it again when the big day arrives. But I won't complain if you don't. ;)
Sunday, August 13, 2006; 3:43 a.m.
Went and saw the 10:00 show of Pulse in Frankfort. It's the latest in the line of remakes of Asian horror movies, and it's one major letdown.
Basically, imagine the washed-out color template of The Ring, the "evil Internet" theme of FearDotCom with a dash of the "ghost communication via electronics" from White Noise, a nonsensical script, and a whole bunch of red electrical tape thrown together. That's what Pulse looked like to me. Really, any progress that The Ring, The Grudge, or Dark Water made in convincing people that PG-13 J-Horror remakes are any good was nearly completely dashed away from the total mess that is Pulse.
And I really hope that Wes Craven's name is only attached to the writing credits for legal reasons, because if I were him, I'd have fought to get an Alan Smithee credit. (Then again, there was the whole "Wes Craven presents" credit in front of They, and what I've seen of that wasn't very impressive at all.) The script shows too much ambition for its own good, as it doesn't have anything really going for it. The ending is stupendously preposterous, the reasons behind the ghost attacks left me incredibly unsatisfied, there's very little suspense or tension, and frankly, the movie just didn't really frighten me at all (outside of one good jump scare).
Pulse fails as both a horror movie and an indictment of society's dependence on technology. It's not scary, it's not suspensful, and it doesn't take the chance to truly dig deep into the seperation that is caused by technology that was designed to connect us to one another. The cast isn't bad, but the horrible screenplay doesn't inject their characters with any sort of personality or reasons to make us the viewer want to see them live or die. We don't know who these characters are, we don't know what makes them tick or recognize any quirky personality traits. They just go through the motions, and likewise, so do the actors portraying them. No-name director Jim Sonzero also doesn't help matters much, as he apparently doesn't quite understand that making the movie look washed out and desaturated of most of its color does not make a tense atmosphere in and of itself.
Really, Pulse doesn't have much going on at all. It's obviously been neutered in order to earn the now-dreaded PG-13 rating. While I'm sure horror movies can still manage to have a few scares while maintaining a PG-13, Pulse is not one of them. It's poorly-executed disposable junk, for which Pulse gets a two out of five on the Sutton Scale. I plan on renting the original Japanese version sometime, and I hope this embarassing remake is not indicitive of its quality.
And to think, I could have put that $6.50 to better use and seen The Descent a second time.
Friday, August 11, 2006; 11:46 p.m.
I don't feel like waiting until next week to do it, and I'm in a posting mood, so why don't we talk about last night's episode of Who Wants To Be A Superhero? while we're here enjoying our time together.
Last week's episode (which I discussed this past Wednesday) saw the elimination and subsequent turn to villainy of Iron Enforcer, now given the new moniker of "The Dark Enforcer." This week's episode began with him making his presence known to the other seven superheroes, which made me chuckle thanks to Ty'veculus exclaiming, "What is this treachery?!" That one line was so over the top that it seemed like he'd been waiting to say it since the show started.
So anyway, now that he's gotten that little piece of business out of the way, it's time for the episode's first challenge. Each of the heroes is given twenty bucks and is sent to a local café one at a time, with the assumption that their choices for lunch would be judged on their superheroic worthiness. After everyone makes their purchases and returns to base, Stan Lee and Dark Enforcer revealed that just because the camera crew wasn't following them into the café doesn't mean they weren't being watched. That's when they informed the heroes of the challenge's true intent: the camera crew didn't follow them, which was to lull them into a false sense of security and see if the heroes would reveal their secret identities to the actors playing their friendly waiter or waitress. And on that note, Dark Enforcer rolled footage from hidden cameras that had been set up.
The only superheroes that managed to pass were Feedback and Fat Momma, while everyone else gladly gave their real names after a little prodding. But guess who flunked the challenge worst of all? Monkey Woman. Not only did she give away her real name without even being asked, but she offered her waiter a list of websites on how to break into the acting business. Of course, ol' Stan The Man didn't take too kindly to that. He called Monkey Woman alone to the chopping block for the middle-of-the-episode elimination, and grilled her about those websites. She confessed to being an actress, which surprised Stan because she said she was a real estate investor during her audition for the show. So if you said that Stan cut her, an winner is you and a loser is Monkey Woman. And I had such high hopes for her.
At this point in the discussion, I should point out that according to her MySpace blog, although Mary "Monkey Woman" Votava has had a few acting roles, she really does work as a real estate investor so she can pay the bills. And apparently, Stan wasn't aware of her acting experience. If they do a season two, maybe someone should point Stan in the direction of IMDB. That is, unless the producers wanted some actors in order to put a dramatic spin on certain portions of the show. I mean, with a few exceptions, almost everyone on the show has been in a movie, had a few guest spots on TV shows, or both. Eh, what can you do?
So anyway, back to the show. So we've had our first elimination of the episode, and it's time for the next challenge. They were taken to the roof of their lair, where there's a damsel in distress on the roof next door. Each superhero was supposed to cross a beam bridging the alley between the two rooftops, then bring the woman back across. And to throw a wrench into the gears, Dark Enforcer gets the bright idea to put blindfolds on everybody before hitting the beam. So similar to last week, we get a test of bravery.
But once again, there's a catch. Turns out none of them left their particular roof at all. With the blindfolds in place, each of them actually crossed a beam situated on their own roof. And the damsel in distress they picked up at the end of the beam? The twin sister of the damsel next door. And believe it or not, every single superhero passed the test for a change.
Since everyone succeeded in the challenge, Stan called everyone together to inform them of a new challenge. The new challenge: to show them how difficult his job is, he asked everyone to nominate one of their fellow heroes for elimination. Creature nominated herself right away, stating that she didn't think she was as heroic as the others. Major Victory, Feedback, and Lemuria all did the same, each with reasons similar to Creature's. Ty'veculus nominated Lemuria, thanks to questions he had regarding her emotions and motives. And though she didn't want to name names at first, Fat Momma picked Feedback because of her belief that he's too hard on himself.
Up on the rooftop for the second elimination, there was once again a little more to the challenge than originally believed. Stan revealed that the "pick a teammate" test was to see who among the heroes would essentially take a bullet for the others. Noting that he wasn't going to question anyone's motives regarding picking themselves, he called both Fat Momma and Ty'veculus up to the chopping block. Stan pointed out that although Fat Momma failed the challenge, he believed that she picked Feedback because she was concerned for his well-being, while he also believed that Ty'veculus's motives were not as noble. And thus, Ty'veculus was asked to turn in his costume.
As episode three came to a close, we end with Fat Momma claiming that she thought everyone else was being less than genuine while picking themselves, with Lemuria stating in an interview that Stan will have to try harder to "psych [her] out" and that she plans on staying in the game no matter what.
That was quite an episode. As I said, Monkey Woman getting eliminated for being an actress is a little odd, considering that pretty much everybody on the show is an actor. But I guess that's the way things have to be. The show was taped back in May anyway, so it's not like anybody can fill some sort of grievance or anything. And I'm still cheering for Major Victory, whose comic I would totally buy if I got the opportunity.
Next week's episode looks really good, so let's see what happens then, shall we?
Friday, August 11, 2006; 10:43 p.m.
Me, my dad and sister, and my regular partner in crime all headed to the Danville cineplex tonight for the 7:35 showing of the British horror flick The Descent tonight, and it was an experience.
The story centers around six women as they explore an uncharted cave in the North Carolina mountains. And as they get deeper and deeper into their surroundings, things get a wee bit more hairy as they run into a bunch of hideous bloodthirsty chuds that live in the subterranean depths of the cave. The plot is very, very similar to The Cave, but The Descent does it better.
The outdoor scenes before the spelunkers enter the cave look like the colors have been washed out, seemingly beset upon by a grey/white haze that gives these scenes an eerie dreamlike quality. On the other hand, the scenes in the cave are lit either by flashlights or green and orange chemical sticks, or by the occasional night-vision thanks to the viewfinder of one character's camcorder. The lighting (or lack thereof) not only makes it easier for things to pop out of the darkness, but when used in collaboration with the tight sets, it makes the atmosphere much more terrifying.
The acting is also well done; the roles are very physical, and the actresses (or in certain cases, their stunt doubles) are up to task. Though they are concealed in darkness or harsh lighting most of the time, the makeup effects on the creatures are very good, and other effects (like one cave explorer's fractured leg in the beginning of the movie) are quite effective in their graphicness. (Is "graphicness" a word? If it isn't, it is now.)
Online reviewer James Berardinelli wrote, "The Descent isn't perfect, but it does a lot of things right." I'm inclined to agree with that statement. It's one of the best horror movies I've seen in a while, and further reinforces my opinion that Eurasian horror is on a level beyond that of American horror. And it scared the living daylights out of poor ol' claustrophobic me. For that, The Descent receives a four out of five on the Sutton Scale.
There was only one real negative I had with the whole thing, and that was these 13-year-old teeny bopper dorks that wouldn't shut up. Now I'll admit to talking during a movie, but unless I'm by myself in the theater, I'll whisper to whoever I'm with out of respect for everyone else trying to enjoy the movie. Whispering never distracted anybody before. But no, these morons had to talk and giggle and pretty much be a bunch of annoying little turds. I don't like having to yell, "hey, shut up over there," in a crowded theater, but sometimes it's needed.
Was I ever that annoying when I was that young? I hope not, otherwise I'll have to go back in time and smack my younger self around a little bit.
Thursday, August 10, 2006; 5:56 p.m.
I was telling some people last week that we could use a little rain to help out with this uncomfortable heat wave we've been having lately. And guess what happens? A thunderstorm today. It isn't one of those black cloud, hard rain ones, but it still came down like cats and dogs. And it was enough to cause a power surge that knocked our electricity out for a few seconds. The lightning even caused our phone to ring once. I don't know how, but it did.
It's starting to die down now, and I wouldn't be surprised if we got three or four inches of rain. The news meteorologists talk like other places were hit harder than us, and they even showed a light pole in Lexington that had been knocked over. One county even got a tornado warning just a few minutes ago.
But at least the weather here is starting to subside. Hopefully, all this rain will make things cooler around here. These 95-100 degree days are rough, so if the temperature can come down to about 85, I'll be fine. Me and Mother Nature will be cool.
And that's about it for that. Out.
Wednesday, August 9, 2006; 7:50 p.m.
I was watching the second episode of Who Wants To Be A Superhero? the other day, and that's when it hit me. I think the show is supposed to be silly on purpose. It only makes sense. I mean, if the show was serious and didn't have any of its campy humor, then I don't believe it would be as entertaining. Everybody on the show has to know just how silly it is. How could they not?
In the second episode, we started out with an anonymous Q-and-A, where Stan Lee read unsigned questions written by and intended for the contestants. There were somewhat standard questions (Fat Momma and Major Victory being asked if heroes that are overweight and former male strippers would be good role models for children), to the humorous ("Does Creature ever wash her nasty hair?"), to the downright goofy ("Iron Enforcer stinks, can we get him some deoderant?"). But then there was a question that I liked: "Iron Enforcer looks like he might use steroids. What kind of message does that send to children?" Now if it were me, I'd have answered, "Captain America does steroids. Just because they call it a "super soldier serum" doesn't mean he's not on the juice.
After the Q&A, it was time for their challenge, this time a test of their bravery. The setup was a little old lady who was locked out of her house, each hero had to hop over the fence into her backyard and head for the back door. But there's always a catch. Once they hop the fence and hit the ground, that's the cue for two trained attack dogs to charge at them. That leaves the heroes with two options: get past the dogs, or say the safety word ("uncle") to get the dogs off them.
Not a whole lot of heroes made it all the way to the door. Ty'veculus made it in 16 seconds, Major Victory made it in 17 seconds (with a dog hanging from each arm), and Feedback made it in 25 seconds. Though perhaps the most impressive was Monkey Girl, whose final time was nine minutes, 23 seconds. While that sounds like she took forever, you try running across your backyard with two attack dogs after you. And her refusal to quit even earned her a personal commendation from Stan.
But let's not forget about the losers. Iron Enforcer actually made it onto the porch, and was no more than a foot away from the door before he quit. Like I said last week, Iron Enforcer just isn't all that great of a superhero. And then there's Cell Phone Girl. Her final time: a paltry four seconds. Here's my interpretation of her run: "Okay, let's hop over this fence. Look, dogs! I quit!" She blamed it on a headache, while mentioning that she didn't care much for dogs after being bitten by one as a kid, but at the elimination ceremony, Stan The Man wasn't having it. For failing to show any bravery and making excuses, she was cut. Or as Stan said, she was out of minutes.
Moving on, the remaining superheroes all recieved makeovers for their costumes. The were all pretty much professional versions of their original uniforms, but Ty'veculus got an incredibly ugly outfit that looked like it was made out of styrofoam and Play-Doh. And to top it off, he was stuck in a padded Centurion helmet with an enormous feathery mohawk. You could tell by the look on his face that he hated the costume, but he lied right to Stan's face and said he loved it. He ended up going back later and admitted he thought the costume sucked, and depsite Stan looking super-angry, he let Ty'veculus revert back to his previous (and in my opinion, cooler) costume.
And closing out the episode was the second elimination ceremony. Up on the chopping block were Ty'veculus (for lying to Stan about his costume), Feedback (for mocking Ty'veculus's goofy helmet), and Iron Enforcer again (for stull not fitting Stan's ideals of what a hero should be). Iron Enforcer finally got the cut, but once he left, Stan stopped him in an alley outside and mentioned that he couldn't tell what about Iron Enforcer bugged him so much, but he finally figured it out: "You make a lousy superhero... but you make a great supervillian." Stan offered him the chance to make things more difficult for the remaining heroes, an offer Iron Enforcer accepted. And now Who Wants To Be A Superhero? now has its own supervillain: The Dark Enforcer.
The show is exhibiting a lot more promise. I mentioned before that I thought it was a really goofy show, but that's what makes it so charming. It's kinda like the old Adam West Batman show, where its campiness makes it so good. I'm personally still cheering for Major Victory, but Monkey Woman is starting to grow on me, especially after that big performance in the dog test. But Who Wants To Be A Superhero? is really taking a turn for the better. And as I said last week, I'm definitely watching it more often.
Sunday, August 6, 2006; 9:36 p.m.
With all the activities going on during this busy weekend, I've barely had any time to relax at all. Usually my weekends are relatively slow and not all that interesting, but the last two or three days have been wild.
I'm so tired I can barely blink, but I could get used to more activity during my weekends. I'm not sure how I'll be able to financially support my little excursions on a regular basis until I can acquire a steady, reliable income, but I have no other qualms with midnight movies and other such adventures.
I don't know if I could handle every weekend being as hectic as this one, since a man needs a little time ro rest. But aside from the aforementioned occasional monetary struggles, I really should get out more often. I find myself stuck in the house a lot of the time, but once I can acquire and maintain my own personal financial security on a regular basis, I'm hoping that will change.
And that concludes this episode of The Matt Sutton Experience. Be sure to tune in same Matt-time, same Matt-channel.
Saturday, August 5, 2006; 9:12 p.m.
After my very late night, I got out of the house again this afternoon and caught a showing of Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby in Bardstown. The movie is an oddity, in that it manages to be insanely funny despite pretty much every character being a total jerk, borderline retarded, or both.
Will Ferrell is great as always, and is the only member of the cast that I thought was worth talking about. Gary Cole, John C. Reilly, and Michael Clark Duncan are just kinda there, and Sasha Baron Cohen appears to be in the movie only to deliver nearly unintelligible lines in a thick (and unconvincing) French accent while making Ferrell's character look like a homophobe.
But despite all that, the movie did make me laugh. That's really all that can be asked for, right? So I'm gonna give Talladega Nights a thumbs in the middle with three and a half stars, leaning towards four.
Not much else to talk about, so this one's gonna be short. Out.
Saturday, August 5, 2006; 4:37 a.m.
Ah, the wonder that is the midnight movie. Is there anything quite like it?
I got a chance to attend my very first midnight movie tonight at a newly re-opened theater in downtown Frankfort, named The Grand Theatre. I don't know the theater's whole history, but it's apparently been around since the 1940s, but closed sometime in the past. It re-opened this week with a showing of Casablanca and a ceremony to celebrate the lighting of the theater's new marquee, and tonight was the debut of their midnight movie program "The Grand At Midnight."
After first getting word about it from my Anderson County connections Jennifer and Tiff a couple of days ago, myself and my usual partner in crime Moses hooked up with the girls and set a course for The Grand. And the first "Grand At Midnight" movie? Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi's 1993 classic Army of Darkness. I've seen Army of Darkness a million times on DVD and television, but this was the first time I'd had a chance to see it in an actual theater. And thanks to the theater's quite cozy atmosphere and the pumped-up audience, I had an absolute ball.
I'd estimate there were only 25 or 30 people in the crowd, but the the intimacy of the theater combined with their energy made the place seem alive. The audience's laughter, cheering, and applause really made the whole thing that much more fun. An example: For you unlucky souls who haven't seen Army of Darkness, there's a scene near the beginning of the film where Bruce Campbell's character "Ash" is on the losing end of a battle against a deadite down in a pit. It's kinda like the scene from Return of the Jedi where Luke Skywalker fights Jabba the Hutt's pet rancor, only more comedic and with a human-sized demon thing. Anyway, this one particular guy drops Ash's specially-rigged chainsaw (which he wears on the stump where his right hand should be) into the pit. Ash jumps up and catches the chainsaw on his stump, which elicited loud applause and raucous cheers of "Yeah! Get 'em, Ash! Whoo!" from just about everyone in the movie-going audience. That's the first time I've ever seen something like that, and it pretty much summed up the entire experience.
And I think I should talk about the theater itself, too. On the outside, it looks like a regular small town business, with the notable exception of a big bright old-timey theater marquee above the sidewalk. The windows were all plastered with movie posters for the theater's upcoming showings (Army of Darkness, Capote, Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth), giving the front of the theater the appearance of something resembling an independent record store. On the inside, it certainly doesn't look like your typical, run-of-the-mill movie theater. Honestly, it looks like a building in the middle of massive renovations. There's a small lobby; well, really, the lobby is just a room with a couple of tables, a model of the marquee that looked a lot like Doc Brown's model of Hill Valley from the first Back To The Future movie, and some newspaper articles about The Grand from the '40s. But anyway, the lobby is connected to a long, narrow corridor, which leads to the actual theater itself.
The theater is the most obvious part of the renovation, and I'd be lying if I said the place didn't look both tiny and like it was in the middle of being built. There were maybe twenty rows of chairs (not typical theater chairs, but regular chairs) lined up in front of a small stage and the screen. I didn't get a good look at the whole place, but I believe there's a balcony too, which could be really fun if that's part of the renovation. And if I assume correctly, both the stage and balcony will come in handy if the theater hosts plays or concerts like the theater's website suggests.
The Grand's "under construction" look gave off a particular atmosphere of watching your favorite movie with your basement with a bunch of friends who love the movie as much as you do. As I said above, the theater had a certain charming intimacy that I think many big movie theaters would be hard-pressed to naturally duplicate. I thought going to my first drive-in theater last week was special, but this may have been some of the most fun I've ever had seeing a movie. And it's an experience that I wouldn't trade for the world.
I hope that there's more "Grand At Midnight" shows, because this is something I would want to do regularly. According to the staff member that introduced the movie, if the Army of Darkness shows (they're doing a second one Saturday night) are successful, the "Grand At Midnight" crew is planning on doing a Rocky Horror Picture Show costume party. How cool is that?
And as wired as I am, I should probably head to bed. I have afternoon plans, and I'll need my sleep so I can tend to them. Out for now.
Wednesday, August 2, 2006; 6:34 p.m.
The eighth episode of ECW's new show was last night, and I figured it was the kind of episode that I might want to discuss. So how 'bout a segment-by-segment breakdown, hmm?
The tag match was a lot of fun, and that barbed wire board was quite unexpected. I also think the match went in the right direction with its ending, as it furthered Dreamer's feuds with Test and Heyman, while leaving the Sandman/Knox feud open for another day. And it should be noted that Dreamer really can bleed like a champ.
The Heyman/Sabu segment also continued things well, though I'm still not used to hearing Sabu talk. And is it just me, or was that segment the first time Francine has appeared on the show? I was beginning to think she'd never show up. All they need to do now is get C.W. Anderson to debut on TV, and they'd be set.
Speaking of debuts, C.M. Punk finally wrestled his first televised match as a member of the ECW roster, and I'm glad he finally has. Now everybody gets to see what ROH and OVW fans have been talking about for the longest time. The match was one-sided for the most part, but I think it did a decent job of showing some of Punk's talents to those that haven't seen him. I just wonder how much they'll have to censor Punk when he shows up in a WWE video game. They removed Gregory Helms's Green Lantern tattoo in the games, and I'm sure they'll have to find something to replace the Pepsi and Cobra Command logos on Punk's shoulders.
Next was Kurt Angle making his return against The Brooklyn Brawler. Didn't the Brawler change his name to "the Boston Brawler" when the Red Sox beat the Yankees in the ALCS in 2004? And isn't the Hammerstein Ballroom in Manhattan, not Brooklyn? Oh well. In any regard, the match wasn't much to talk about, only because the match was designed for Angle to slaughter somebody really quickly. Next.
The vampire and tarot card reader segment was what it was, though it did give the vampire a name. And what a name it was. Dracula... Lestat... Angelus... Kevin Thorn?
And closing out the show was Batista vs. The Big Show, which actually wouldn't have been that bad of a match had the audience not crapped all over it. If the crowd really hated it, a better protest would have been getting up and walking out. Chanting "you guys suck! change the channel! where's our refunds?" didn't make them witty. It made them look like a bunch of morons. I guess the whole thing was to set up Sabu running out there and putting Big Show through that table at ringside.
As a whole, the episode may have been one of the best they've done during the entire eight-week run so far. It certainly wasn't an awful episode, even if these anti-ECW dorks like to proclaim it the worst show to ever be broadcast in the history of television. Some people...
Tuesday, August 1, 2006; 6:07 p.m.
After that last post, I got to thinking about who else could play Batman villains. Scarecrow, Ra's al Ghul, and Zsasz have all been taken care of (even if Zsasz only had a brief cameo), and Joker's been cast for the next one, but who else could there be?
Jake Gyllenhaal, Josh Lucas, and Liev Schrieber are all rumored for Two-Face, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman has been rumored for Penguin. But what about Catwoman, Riddler, Mr. Freeze, or Poison Ivy? Or maybe some less-famous villains like Bane, Killer Croc, the Mad Hatter, Deadshot, Clayface, or Clock King? (Keep in mind I mean the cool cartoon Clock King, not the crappy comics one.)
They'd probably go with the A-list comic talent first. The next two Batman movies already have dibs on Joker and Two-Face, and they'd probably go with Catwoman, Penguin, and Riddler next. Phillip Seymour Hoffman might make a good choice for Penguin, while they'd probably go with someone like Angelina Jolie for Catwoman. The Riddler might be a tougher choice, and the actor that plays him will have to depend on how David Goyer and Chris Nolan decide to depict Riddler. If they go with the wacky Frank Gorshin/Jim Carrey "leotard covered in question marks" version of Riddler, I could see Robin Williams in the role. But if they go with the more cerebral "green business suit" version of Riddler, I'd probably go with Robert Englund. He already voices Riddler in the new cartoon, so he'd be a natural fit for the role. And what if they decide to slip Harley Quinn in the new movie somewhere? I'm a big Harley Quinn fan, and I'm a proponant of casting Brittany Murphy as her.
I assume that after the next two Batman movies come out, it'll be some time before they start working on the one after those. Besides, that break will give them plenty of time to do Flash and Green Lantern movies, and perhaps Superman and Wonder Woman sequels if Warner Brothers so desires. So perhaps I shouldn't really worry about casting other villians until the Joker and Two-Face movies are released. But I'll be all over the topic when they announce the villain for Batman 4.
Tuesday, August 1, 2006; 2:31 p.m.
I just read a news article stating that Heath Ledger, who you may recognize from films like A Knight's Tale and Brokeback Mountain, has officially been cast as The Joker in the next Batman movie (which has the current working title of Batman: Dark Knight).
I'm not sure I'm 100 percent sold on the idea of Heath Ledger as Joker. I'd heard rumors a few months ago that Crispin Glover and Paul Bettany were considered for the role at one point, and both of them would have been really good in the role. Besides, I think Glover is already a little loony, so I'd be willing to guess that he's just a purple suit and green hair away from being Joker.
I'll admit that I'm not all that familiar with Ledger's work. I've only seen A Knight's Tale and The Patriot, and just parts of Brokeback Mountain. He's an Academy Award nominee, yeah, but I'm not sure he'd be a convincing Joker. Jack Nicholson was a decent Joker because he'd made a career from playing characters with some kind of edge. He was a biker in Easy Rider, an asylum inmate in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, and a homicidal hotel caretaker in The Shining. So a lunatic clown wasn't much of a stretch for ol' Jack.
The new movie doesn't start filming until sometime early next year and probably won't be out until 2008, so we've got two years to debate the pros and cons of arguably the great comic book villain ever being portrayed by someone who's greatest claim to fame is playing a gay cowboy in some independent movie. I'll hope for the best, and we'll see how good this decision is in 2008. All they have to do now is cast Liev Schrieber as Harvey Dent, and everything will be fine.
Monday, July 31, 2006; 8:07 p.m.
I managed to catch part of the first episode of Stan Lee's new reality show Who Wants To Be A Superhero? last night, and... it's different.
The dorks on this show have come up with some of the silliest gimmicks ever. Monkey Woman? Cell Phone Girl? I thought Squirrel Girl and Speedball were goofy, but those are just stupid. Now if Monkey Woman was a cross between Beast and Tarzan, I could accept it. And what is Cell Phone Girl's power? Giving someone a brain tumor via radiation?
And then there was their test at the end of the episode. The test the potential superheroes had to undertake also proved that most of them might not have what it takes to be superheroes. See, they were told their objective was to see how fast they could inconspicuously change into their superhero outfits before running across this city plaza to a designated checkpoint. But there was a catch. There's always a catch. See, as the heroes ran through the plaza, they'd have to pass this little girl crying for her mother. Unbeknownst to the heroes, she was the real objective. Those who stopped to help her succeeded, those who passed her failed. And get this, something like two-thirds of the heroes ran right past her. What kind of hero ignores a crying child? Now this one guy, who looks like the hero from God of War with a giant laser gun mounted on his arm, I could buy him running by. He looks like the kind of guy who'd be way too focused on kicking the everloving snot out of some supervillain. That poor crying child would probably be caught up in the crossfire and collateral damage and whatnot.
And let's not forget the one superhero that decided to change into his costume right out in the open. Unless he's The Flash or Superman and could change his clothes in less than a second, he'd have to be a freaking moron to change out in front of everybody. And considering that he ran past the little girl too, it's no wonder that he got eliminated.
This show has "train wreck" written all over it, and I'm totally going to watch it every week.
Sunday, July 30, 2006; 6:43 p.m.
Just about every time I try to come up with a new post, all I can think of talking about is writing. And why is that? I'm so burned out, and even when I think I'm totally sick of it, it's still all I can post about here. It's crazy.
I don't consider myself to be all that much of a writer. I'm certainly not as creative or as talented as others, and I do wonder about the quality of my writing on occasion, but writing has been stuck on my mind a lot lately.
Sometimes I really do want to write, to work on that script, to pop in a movie and crank out something new for Sutton At The Movies. But sometimes I get the feeling that I simply can't be bothered to write much of anything. I don't know why that is, or what it's all about, but it really bugs me.
I do want to get back into writing my reviews sometiimes, mostly because I don't want S@TM to collect too much dust. Besides, I know some of you readers actually like them. As I've said a few times in the past, I'd like to review Jackie Brown sometime, and I'm planning on reviewing both the old and new versions of When A Stranger Calls (or at least the remake, in any event). But it's all a matter of working up my inspiration. Shouldn't be too long, I hope.
And I think that's all I've got for this post. Maybe next time, I can find a topic that I haven't hammered into the ground. That dead horse is starting to get deader. So until I come up with something else, I'm out for now.
Sunday, June 30, 2006; 2:13 p.m.
As it stands right now, I should probably be heading to bed because it's been kind of a long night. I mean, it's just after 2:00 in the morning and with the exception of a few minutes (and the time it took to walk from my front door to my computer here now), I've been sitting in a car for the last five hours or so. But because you're such a wonderful audience, I don't want to wait until morning to make this post. It's gonna be quick since I'm spent, but I'll make it with what I have. So get your golden ticket ready, Charlie, because we're headed to the chocolate factory.
My usual partner in crime Mo called up tonight, informing me of this drive-in theater in Harrodsburg he'd heard opened back up. I'd never been to one before, so we went to check it out. So we get there at 9:30, just before their double feature started. I didn't really have any interest in seeing You, Me, and Dupree or Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, but hey, I'm all for new experiences.
As a lover of the cinematic arts, seeing a movie at a drive-in is something I'd been wanting to do for quite a while. And at five bucks a ticket (which, by my math, equates to $2.50 per movie), I'm not going to argue with that. It's definitely something I'd like to do again in the future, and something I would recommend to anyone fortunate enough to have a drive-in theater nearby.
And as for my usual mini-reviews, You, Me, and Dupree was tremendous, with Owen Wilson stealing the show as usual. And while I'm not a fan of the series (and I haven't seen more than a few minutes of either of the previous two), Fast and the Furious 3 was way more entertaining than it had any right to be. I'll give them four and three stars respectively. Though I must admit that perhaps the experience of seeing the movies at a drive-in made them a lot better than they would have been at a traditional theater. But I'll stand by those stars for the time being.
I'm absolutely worn out, so I'm heading to bed. Out for now, y'all.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006; 11:22 p.m.
Not a whole lot going on lately. I don't want to do another "I got nothing" post right now, so I'll just see where this one takes me. So come on, Alice, let's jump down the rabbit hole.
I'm still on my self-imposed writing hiatus, but after seeing Clerks 2, I'm feeling a little more inspired. I don't quite know how I'll translate that inspiration to something a wee bit more tangible, but I think I might be able to work something out once I get back in the game.
The way it's looking right now, I've come up with the idea of doing the script in the same vein as the Clerks movies or Super Troopers; basically, a bunch of skits cobbled together and sewn up with a common plot. I believe I've talked about this before, but the thought is still there.
It's mostly just a matter of coming up with these skits. There's a few bits from various sources I'd like to steal for my own usage, and there's also a little bit I wrote about a year or so ago that I want to use. It mainly comes down to how I'm going to use these things.
There are also a few ideas and a few characters I have, but as I said, it all depends on how I use them. I'm also having second thoughts about my concept: characters in a Wal-Mart all night. I really don't know how I'll make it work. Maybe if I did it a little differently, perhaps chopping the narrative into several days instead of one, or maybe shifting the action to more than one building during the movie. Hmm...
Perhaps it was a good idea that I took that break. Writing is incredibly stressful.
Monday, July 24, 2006; 5:22 p.m.
Caught the 1:40 showing of Clerks 2 in Danville, and it was excellent.
The movie succeeds in bringing the View Askewniverse full circle, and it achieves a certain sentimentality that makes it all the more endearing. Yes, it's raunchy, and how it got an R rating with no edits is beyond me, but behind all the vulgarities is a lot of heart. Dante and Randal are stuck in the same rut that we last saw them in during the previous Clerks (albeit with a change of scenery), but the way they individually deal with it is what makes the characters engaging and able to be related to.
The cast is entertaining, which is helped by Kevin Smith's hilarious-as-usual script (though that musical number is oddly out of place). Smith's direction is also top notch, and when it's all said and done, it's my belief that Clerks 2 is a wonderful note for these characters to go out on. So to make a long story short, Clerks 2 gets a much-earned four stars from yours truly.
And on a personal note, Clerks 2 was quite satisfying because I actually got to see my name up on the screen among the MySpace friends listed at the end of the movie's credits. I almost missed it, since it had almost scrolled up to the top of the screen by the time I caught it. But no foolin', it's right there. I wish I had some kind of screen capture device to snag it once the DVD comes out, but alas, I'll have to survive. In any regard, my name is listed in the credits of a real Hollywood movie, so if I died today, I would go to my grave satisfied.
Saturday, July 22, 2006; 8:13 p.m.
Am I the only one who has a rough time thinking up topics for posts on slow days? Because that's where I'm at right now. I'm not really sure what I where I want to go with this right now. I've done the wrestling and comics posts in the last few days, I threw in one or two "hey, I saw a movie" posts, and the rest of the month has been spent talking about writing that blasted script. But tonight, I'm totally lost for something to post about.
Though I must admit, it could be a lot worse. There were times a few years ago when I averaged three or four posts a month, sometimes getting as little as one post a month. The dark days of 2002 really didn't help much with blog productivity, which is why I'm glad the whole blog thing took off in 2003, so I could have some "competition" to help motivate me. So now, instead of no posts, you get posts where I talk about not having anything to talk about. And since my posts have improved a thousand-fold in the last four years, I have both quantity and quality. Why would I argue with that?
Huh, I guess I worked up something resembling a post after all. And that's good enough for me.
Thursday, July 20, 2006; 5:27 p.m.
Taking a cue from Libby, let's briefly venture into the world of the superheroic for a while, shall we?
It was announced yesterday that Frank Miller had been hired to write and direct a movie based on The Spirit, who I actually had never heard of until Libby mentioned him on Tuesday. And it got me to thinking, what other superheroes could use movies?
Naturally, there's the big ones like Captain America, Thor, Green Lantern, and The Flash. But what about some of the heroes that get lost in the shuffle? Silver Surfer is going to turn up in the next Fantastic Four movie, so he isn't a problem. But there's guys like Swamp Thing and Dr. Strange that could use decent movies, but are usually forgotten about because studios are more wont to make movies based on cerified cash cows like Superman or the X-Men.
But I guess Hollywood would want to get all the A-list comic properties out of the way first. Joss Whedon is doing Wonder Woman, Christopher Nolan is prepping the Batman Begins sequel, David Goyer has said he wants to do a Flash movie, and there's Fantastic Four 2 and the Magneto and Wolverine spinoffs all coming sooner or later. Why not break out characters like the Martian Manhunter or Hawkman, or even someone not as well-known like Night Thrasher. Heck, why not do two or three more Superman movies, then reboot Supergirl's movie franchise? There's plenty of properties that could be used if Hollywood only chose to do them.
Maybe one of these days, we'll even get movies based on the Justice League or the Avengers, but it's all up to Hollywood.
You know, I think writing a post that doesn't concern movies or the script is going to be tough. I haven't done that in a while, but I think I can knock one out.
So ECW is halfway through their twelve-week contract with the Sci-Fi Channel, and I wouldn't be surprised if Sci-Fi extended the contract when it comes up for renewal. From all appearances, the show is one of the highest rated programs on the network, so it would make sense to keep it on. High ratings equates to higher advertising revenue, so Sci-Fi would be stupid to cancel a hit show just three months into its run.
But I didn't come here to talk about ratings. I wanted to talk about the show's lackluster writing. It's obvious that WWE has pegged ECW to be its C-level show, but that doesn't mean the writers have to half-ass everything. It's taken them this long to finally set up feuds and make that dumb stripper's segments be worth something. I'll admit that I couldn't do much better, but do we really need stupid characters like a stripper when we know we'll never see the goods as long as the show is on basic cable? Do we need a vampire and a tarot card reader that never do anything? Come on, WWE, throw me a bone.
There isn't much that can be done with what is essentially 45 minutes of air time after commercials, but they could at least give certain recurring segments the week off once in a while in order to put other things over. Why not give the Knox/Sandman/Kelly thing some time off and debut CM Punk, Shannon Moore, or the vampire?
And why spend so much time feuding with Raw and Smackdown? It makes ECW's whole roster look week if wrestlers from Raw and Smackdown are coming in every week to challenge for the ECW title. Aren't there any ECW guys who deserve a title shot? The whole ECW vs. WWE thing is going to get old, unless this whole thing with Paul E., Dreamer, and Test is just a setup to build Dreamer as the next contender for the title.
I want the new ECW to succeed, I really do. And with ECW getting a pay-per-view event in December, I don't see them falling off the radar until at least after the new year, if they do at all. I've also accepted that we'll never have the old ECW back, though I still have faith that WWE's ECW can improve and become decent, watchable TV.
I hope so, anyway.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006; 3:40 p.m.
You know, it just came to my attention that I've completely forgotten about Sutton At The Movies lately. I got so wrapped up in other projects that I haven't even thought about writing at all, let alone what I'd write next.
Usually after I wrap up a review, I like to relax for a little while, then ponder what review is next. But since I posted the two Hills Have Eyes reviews three or four weeks ago, I haven't put any thought into what's next at all.
Maybe I got so wrapped up in worrying about the script that I burned myself out. I've no been very anxious to write lately, so perhaps that could be it? There's also the fact that I'm up to 116 reviews. Now I'm no Roger Ebert or Leonard Maltin, but to somebody like me, writing almost 120 reviews over three years is a lot of work. And sometimes, I just need a break.
I miss writing my reviews, and I want to keep writing them as long as people keep wanting to read them. But I think I'm going to take a break from writing for a while to recharge my batteries. I must admit, the blog might be a lot less interesting without all that talk about writing. It seems like all I've talked about for the last month.
But I'm sure I'll be able to make things interesting somehow.
Monday, July 17, 2006; 6:29 p.m.
Finally, I have something to talk about other than that infernal script for a change.
Myself and the usual suspects went up to Lexington to check out a new theater that just opened up a few weeks ago. Our options came down to either seeing Superman Returns a second time, or seeing Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Since neither I or my partner in crime have seen the original Pirates in its entirety (and thus probably wouldn't understand Pirates 2's plot), we opted for Superman Returns.
[The next paragraph might contain spoilers. Be warned.]
The first time I saw it, I was impressed with the quality of both its acting and visual effects. The second time around, I was still impressed. However, I have to talk about something. Could the messianic allegory been any more blatant? All that talk of saviors, Superman catching a sign that apparently says "Grace" along with the globe atop the Daily Planet (effectively holding the whole world in his hands, like the song), Jor-El's "I have sent them you, my only son" spiel, Superman falling to Earth with the arms-outstretched Christ pose, and even Superman apparently dying and coming back to life. Okay, so Superman is kinda like Jesus, I get it. I didn't need to be hammered over the head with it.
But all in all, I stand by my four-star review from two weeks ago.
[Okay, no more spoiler warning.]
In other news, that new theater was really nice. I'm already making plans to go see Clerks 2 (and possibly Lady in the Water) there next week. Unfortunately, trips to that theater will be not-so-often occurances because it's an hour's drive away. I really wish we could get a theater in this county, but we're so backwoods, we didn't even get a McDonald's until two or three years ago. Washington County, Kentucky, just may be the land that time forgot.
And that's about it for now. Out.
Sunday, July 16, 2006; 4:11 p.m.
I made some progress on the script since my last post. I've only worked out a few pages, but at least that's something. Right? Right.
I'm still not sure exactly where I'm heading with it, but I figure I'll know where I'm heading once I get there. As long as I can get at least 85 or 90 pages, I think I'll be okay. I might want to aim for an even 100 pages just to be on the safe side, but whatever works works, I suppose.
But to be truthful, I'm not in any huge rush to really finish it anytime soon. It's mostly just for my own entertainment, and just to see if I could actually write it.
And that's all the news that's fit to print for now.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006; 7:59 p.m.
I may have gotten in over my head with this script.
I have no idea what I'm going to do with this thing. I don't know what direction I want to take it in, I can't think of any sort of cognizant narrative, and I'm completely, totally stuck. How do you creative types do it? I just can't come up with anything that helps advance the plot or anything like that.
I really don't know if I'll be able work this out. Outside of that one Dynamite Kudo story I had the idea for, I really struggle with creativity. I really wish I could come up with some way for this to turn out, but I really can't think of anything at all. I have no problem with dialogue or anything like that,
Now if I could do something directly inspired by something else, like a book or a remake of another movie, I could probably take care of it. But as it stands, efforts will have to be tripled in order for me to go anywhere with it.
Thank God I have myself until 2012, because it'll take me until then.
Monday, July 10, 2006; 2:31 p.m.
As I pointed out before, writing a film script is tougher than I initially believed. I can handle dialogue if I know what kind of flow I'm aiming for, but all that other stuff - like scene setups and all that jazz - is not something that comes easily for me.
You know, in retrospect, perhaps I could have written up a treatment for my script first. For the unfamiliar, a "treatment" is somewhere between a basic outline and a short story, which a script writer uses to better flesh out his or her script. I'm not quite ten pages deep, so perhaps it isn't too late to back up a little and take care of that. I'd like to know where I'm headed, so perhaps a treatment is in order?
Any of you other, more talented writers out there are free to pitch ieas for scenes, lines of dialogue, characters, whatever. Be my guest. And it might take me a while, but I'm planning on getting this done sometime. My unofficial deadline is my 30th birthday, so I've got until 2012 to knock it out. Six years is plenty of time, right?
Friday, July 7, 2006; 6:56 p.m.
My desire to post outweighs my typical laziness, so here's some reading material.
I haven't put a whole lot of work or effort into the script lately. I've gotten maybe a page of dialogue, and that's it. I'm on Page 6, with about 84 to go before it's standard length. I have an idea or two for directions I'd like to take it, but that kind of thing is rougher than I thought it'd be. Perhaps I should have thought this through first?
I'm not really worried if the thing ever gets maid, I just want to see if I can get it written. And I really do want to write it, but I'm finding it tough to really motivate myself. I don't really have much life experience to use, but I'm sure I can think of something.
More sometime later.
Tuesday, July 4, 2006; 2:37 p.m.
My earlier post wasn't exactly a happy one, so I figure a second post is in order so that can be remedied.
That script I was trying to write is coming along at a snail's pace. It took me forever to come up with names for the first four characters introduced, but I did manage to knock out nearly five pages once I got that taken care of. I'm stuck in the middle of the second scene, and I'm not quite sure how I want it to progress. I had an idea of spoofing the opening credits of Reservoir Dogs in scene three, but I haven't quite figured out how I'd get there, nor have I completely sold myself on the idea of doing it.
I've also thought of doing something similar to Super Troopers, where it's a bunch of skits stitched together with a skeleton frame of a plot. The only bad parts are that 1.) Super Troopers was written by five guys, and I'm just one; and 2.) the Broken Lizard members are funnier than myself. But I figure I could hammer something out once I got it all settled.
I might put the script on hold for a little while, just to give myself some time to prepare. I don't really know what direction I'm headed in, or what I'm doing in general, but I think I'll be able to make it work sooner or later. Even if it doesn't work out, I can at least give it a shot, right?
Tuesday, July 4, 2006; 12:27 p.m.
Today is going to be such a boring, slow, awful day.
There is absolutely nothing for me to do today. No cookouts to go to, no fireworks to see (since for some stupid reason, everybody set them off last night), so unless something changes, I'm stuck in the house watching a Star Trek marathon and being bored as hell.
Is there anybody with a time machine that can pick me up and take me to last night so I can actually see some fireworks? It's already silly to celebrate American independence by firing off Chinese fireworks, but not even doing it on the right day is absurd. Did I misread my calendar? Is today really the 5th of July? I guess it's just something else to prove my theory: "people are stupid."
Sunday, July 2, 2006; 4:54 p.m.
You may or may not remember the brief talk of a "Sutton At The Movies: The Movie" over at the Blogger Experience's comments two weeks ago. Let's discuss that for a little while, shall we?
I've been wanting to write my own movie for some time, but unfortunately, nothing has come of it yet. It's mostly a big combination of writer's block and a total lack of originality on my part. What I'd like to do is something akin to Clerks, Mallrats and Office Space, but everything I come up with ends up being a total Xerox copy of those three. I'll admit I'm not the most talented writer there is, but you'd think I could come up with something that was in the same style without totally ripping them off.
Sure, I could always do a total ripoff. That never stopped anybody before. But where's the fun in that? I'd rather do something original, but still keep the vibe I'm aiming for. I mean, Waiting was a Clerks-esque movie without totally stealing from Clerks, so why couldn't I do something like that?
I do have some ideas for certain characters and set pieces, but I've been unable to really come up with anything major. I keep a file full of dialogue I'd like to use, and I wouldn't mind aping the "lost scene" from the big Clerks X DVD, but I've just been struggling to put two and two together. You writers out there know what I mean, right?
And then the idea of writing a movie leads to the much more ambitious idea of actually producing it. Would it be something I could make for a few thousand dollars with some friends and a high-end camcorder? Or would it be something I should shop around to people who know what they're doing?
I don't know the first thing about making a movie, but if I'm sure I could if I had to. However, I have to bang out the script first. I guess I have to start somewhere, but that first step is a doozy.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006; 12:42 p.m.
X-Men Legends 2: Rise of Apocalypse has been soundly defeated.
It took several attempts and some creative thinking (read: cheat codes) to defeat Apocalypse, but I still got the job done and a winner is I. Go me.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006; 1:21 a.m.
I just got back from a special 10:00 sneak preview of Superman Returns, and I do believe that someone's finally made a movie worthy of carrying the "Superman 3" mantle. Simply put, Superman Returns is absolutely stupendous.
Way back in 1978, the tagline for the original film told us that we would believe a man could fly. And with the special effects of Superman Returns, that promise has been fulfilled. The effects are an enormous improvement over what we saw in the previous Superman films, but I guess that can be chalked up to various technological advances over the last three decades.
Also wonderful is John Ottman's music, which boasts the grand, epic tone that the movie needed. Ottman puts the original music composed by John Williams to good use, with various musical cues from previous chapters in the Superman saga making appearances throughout the movie. Bryan Singer's direction is great too; he takes what he showed us with the first two X-Men movies and turns it up to eleven. Singer is careful to appease fans of the previous movies with subtle homages to the first two, as well as making the movie its own.
The acting is great, as well. Brandon Routh is a lot of fun, and while he may not be "the next Christopher Reeve," I'm sure he'll become "the first Brandon Routh" for a new generation of Superman fans. Kate Bosworth makes for a fine Lois Lane, James Marsden is great in a somewhat limited role, and Kevin Spacey is brilliant. Imagine Gene Hackman's interpretation of Lex Luthor but with a mean streak a mile wide, and you'd have Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor.
All in all, I'll give Superman Returns a hearty four stars and a recommendation to check it out. And while you're here, why not check out my reviews for the original movie, Superman 2, Superman 3, and Superman 4. Okay? Okay.
Monday, June 26, 2006; 5:21 p.m.
And now, a "Sutton At The Movies" double feature. For your reading pleasure we have both versions of The Hills Have Eyes; Wes Craven's original from 1977, and Alexandre Aja's remake from this year.
Check 'em out.
Sunday, June 25, 2006; 5:52 p.m.
I've been digging deeper into X-Men Legends 2 lately, and I'd be lying if I said the game wasn't addictive. I've picked it up many times, and when I'd finally take a break, it would be 3:00 in the morning. I could really stand to acquire the first X-Men Legends game too, because I'd probably get just as addicted to it.
Right now I'm getting ever closer to tracking down the final boss, Apocalypse. Thanks to a little help from that sneaky Sebastian Shaw, I'm just one or two levels away from the end. I believe all I have to do is make it through a level to find Emma Frost, and then I can take down Apocalypse.
And after that, victory shall be mine.
Friday, June 23, 2006; 9:38 p.m.
Caught the 5:00 showing of Adam Sandler's new movie Click today.
While your mileage may vary, I personally thought the movie was perhaps one of Sandler's best movies. The movie's commercials paint Click as a laugh riot, and while I found it to be incredibly funny, that's only half of the story. There is a lot of heart in the movie, especially as the movie takes a turn or the dramatic once Sandler's universal remote begins fast-forwarding over months and years at a time on its own.
Click could be considered a spiritual cousin to Bruce Almighty, as both films concern men who think they have it all figured out, but are taught to appreciate their lives by all-knowing strangers. While Bruce Almighty deals with Jim Carrey getting a lesson that he doesn't really have all the answers, Click concerns Sandler's workaholic character and his desire to skip over all of the unwanted moments of life while rewinding or fast-forwarding to the more pleasurable ones. Why argue with your wife or deal with a loud barking dog when you have "Skip" and "Mute" buttons that will work just as much on your world as they will on your television?
The movie demonstrates Sandler's maturity as an actor. Five years ago, Jim Carrey probably would have gotten Click's lead role light years before Sandler would ever be considered. But now, with movies that have started to stray more and more from the "dumb guy" slapstick roles under his belt, I think Sandler has reached Carrey-like proportions, where he can still do the incredibly comedic roles while still maintaining some kind of seriousness. And by the end of the movie, I'd come to really like and sympathize with Sandler's character, which I believe is proof that he can actually act instead of acting goofy.
The rest of the cast is quite enjoyable as well, and I was thoroughly entertained by both the comedy and the drama. For that, my final verdict is four stars and a seal of approval.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006; 12:39 a.m.
[And now for the thrilling conclusion of the Blackout Manifesto.]
Time is 11:28 p.m., and I am absolutely worn out. Boredom is beating me to death. I tried to do a little reading, but I got about 10 or 15 pages in before I gave up. Holding that stupid light was giving me carpal tunnel and a pain in my neck.
To be honest, I don't truly know why I'm even still awake at this point. It's not like there's anything to do at 11:30 at night in the midst of a blackout. But at least I'm getting a few handwritten blog posts out of the deal, right?
This is why I could use a laptop. I love my computer, as antiquated as it may be, but I unfortunately can't use it right now. Now if I had something battery powered, voila. There's a solution. It's all just a matter of affordability.
But at this point, I believe I'm only still awake to see if and/or when the power comes back on. However, I don't think it'll be back on until in the morning. And really, that's probably closer to the truth than I realize. So I figure I might as well call it a night.
I hope that my three-part Blackout Manifesto was worth reading, just for the view into the insanity that is me. Time is 11:43, and maybe after sleep, things will be back to something resembling normalcy. Out for now.
[And just three minutes after I wrote that in my notebook, the power returned. Just my luck. I think my satellite reciever was fried by the power going out, but I'll deal with that in the morning. Good night, and good luck.]
Wednesday, June 14, 2006; 5:27 p.m.
So ECW's return is complete, as the first episode of their new show aired last night. And I hope I'm not the only one that got the vibe that they were aiming more for the old "WWF Attitude" instead of ECW. They spent more time promoting the Vengeance pay-per-view than they did their own talent. We all know that RVD is going to lose the WWE Title at Vengeance, so there's nothing to really make me care about it.
My disappointment of the show is based on a number of things. One is the fact that taping the show prior to SmackDown is really stupid. A crowd full of 12-year-old kids in Rey Mysterio shirts is absolutely not the right environment for an ECW show. They booed RVD and Paul Heyman, they didn't even react at all to The Sandman, and I'm willing to bet most of the audience had never even heard of ECW until One Night Stand last year.
Secondly, that whole thing with the stripper was insanely dumb. If she's supposed to be a stripper, shouldn't she be able to know how to unhook her bra? Thanks for screwing up an already stupid segment, bimbo. And is it just me, or did she look like a cardboard cutout before she started talking?
This really wasn't very good as a debut episode. Yeah, the diehard ECW fans know who these guys are, but what about those that don't? I'm hoping that once we get past Vengeance, ECW can form their own niche and improve. I'm rooting for them.
Yesterday felt like it lasted a million years. I probably would have done a post about it last night, but I was so worn out, I couldn't do so much as turn my computer on, let alone type up a post.
The day began around 11:00 when myself and my usual partner in crime Jason headed off to Lexington to meet someone he'd met on MySpace. Both he and her seemed awfully shy around one another (despite him making attempts to strike up conversations), so we pretty much followed her and her friend from store to store. And I'll just say that I feel enough like a pervert just walking past Victoria's Secret, but it's exascerbated when I actually have to go in there.
A few hours after the Lexington trip, myself and Jason decided to go check out the Anderson County fair. I only got on one ride, but that's only because fair rides and the White Castle hamburgers I had for lunch don't exactly get along. I still had a fun time, even if I had to miss ECW's show to go. I didn't get home until around midnight, but I did have the forethought to set my VCR to tape it. (I really need to get TiVo.)
I'll probably have a post about my thoughts concerning the ECW show later. But until then, dear readers, excelsior.
Monday, June 12, 2006; 6:07 p.m.
Caught the remake of The Omen this afternoon. I have yet to see the original, so I can't compare them, but I didn't think the remake was awful.
There's a noticeable lack of suspense in the movie. There's only one real scene that generates what could be called "suspense," but since we absolutely know for a fact that it will end horribly, it becomes not a matter of how it will turn out, but a matter of how disturbing.
I'm a fan of Liev Schrieber, but I don't think he lived up to his potential here. He's really good here, don't get me wrong, but I don't really believe was strong enough to befit someone as talented as he is. Perhaps he wanted a little diversity on his résumé? Julia Styles and Peter Postlethwaite are serviceable, and first-time actor Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick is very creepy. I know the "creepy horror movie child" has become a cliché, but the look in young Davey-Fitzpatrick's eyes throughout the movie proves to be both convincing and unsettling. He only has two lines of dialogue that I can remember, so his performance has to be more physical. And to be truthful, I was convinced.
And while there are quite a few surprising jump scenes (along with musical stingers that will make you go deaf), the movie is merely average at best. It wasn't awful, but I simply don't believe that it will become an iconic piece of horror cinema like its source material. I'll give it a thumbs in the middle with three stars out of my usual five. Though I reiterate that, like always, your mileage may vary.
Sunday, June 11, 2006; 1:49 a.m.
I'm going to take this opportunity to pat myself on the back, because I just completed Resident Evil: Code Veronica X. My final time: seven hours, seven minutes, and 46 seconds. It probably would have been shorter had I not hit "retry" 17 times (since I think the continues are added to the final tally in RE:CV), but oh well, I beat the game.
That last battle was rough, too. The final boss, Alexia, came in two forms: one was a big nasty blob of a thing with tentacles, and it could unleash bugs to attack me. After trying to kill it a good six times, I finally got her. But then the "blob" form disappeared, and Alexia turned into a giant half-human/half-dragonfly that could spit napalm at me. Lucky for me, I managed to pick up a new toy at this point. The game calls the new toy "the linear launcher," but it looks more like the BFG9000 from Doom. And luckily, it has infinite ammo, because I must have fired a good nine or ten shots before I finally hit Alexia. She's a crafty wench, I'll give her that. But I finally hit her, and she goes kablammo. It was a beautiful sight.
And now for the finale. The closing cinematic scenes must have ran ten minutes long, no joke. Not to give away too many spoilers for those of who who may want to track down a copy of RE:CV one of these days, but that Wesker guy can really take a shot. A pipe to the noggin gets shrugged off, a bunch of steel girders dropped on him just staggers him, and a big fireball to the face causes minimal adverse effects; he can hold really his own. I want to see more of this guy in future games, because he's one bad dude.
But I've finally conquered RE:CV, which gives me at least one victory in all six core chapters of the Resident Evil saga. I'm going to go celebrate.
Friday, June 9, 2006; 11:10 p.m.
Want to know something that really really sucks? I think I may have to start RE:CV over again from the very beginning. Why? Because of some stupid mistake I made back at the start. See, I was reading ahead in this walkthrough I'm using for assistance, and it says I need an empty fire extinguisher for this upcoming segment of the game. This walkthrough says that in this next section, I'll get some fuel for the fire extinguisher, which I'll need on an upcoming spot. But see, the thing is that I acquired the fire extinguisher back at the beginning of the game, and ditched it immediately after I used it in a necessary spot because I didn't think I'd need it anymore. If I knew then what I knew now, I'd have kept it around.
You know, on second thought... I may not need it after all. I read a little further after typing the previous paragraph, and it says that all the fire extinguisher does is open up a path that gives me a .44 Magnum. As nice and as helpful as a .44 Magnum would be, it sounds completely optional. So pay no mind to all the complaining above, okay?
That .44 Magnum could come in very handy against these bosses I'm about to go up against, but I have half a clip in an assault rifle and a pair of loaded submachine guns that I've been holding onto for a special occasion. Unfortunately, I can't reload the assault rifle and submachine guns since there's no ammo in them besides what they came with. But I'm going to press onward and see what I can do. I really wish I could get that .44 Magnum, but I've done more with less. Hopefully, my handgun, shotgun, grenade launcher, and automatic weapons will be enough.
If I come up successful, I can remedy this situation in my second go-around. Learning from mistakes, and all.
Thursday, June 8, 2006; 8:33 p.m.
I haven't done a good wrestling post in a while, and I figure now is as good a time as any to do one.
WWE's revival of ECW is in full swing as we speak. The "WWE vs. ECW: Head To Head" show was last night, One Night Stand 2 is Sunday, and ECW's show on the Sci-Fi Channel debuts Tuesday night. But will the new ECW be everything the old one was? I hope so, because I've been an ECW fan for a long time. And I'll tell you why.
The year was 1995. I was an impressionable 13-year-old eighth grader, and I was a fan of what was then the WWF. The WWF's "New Generation" was beginning, and that was really all I knew about pro wrestling: goofy, cartoony gimmicks like garbagemen, hog farmers, hockey players, evil Santas, and fitness gurus. I was a devout reader of Pro Wrestling Illustrated at the time, and I'd read notes of this indy promotion in Pennsylvania that held baseball bat matches, and of some guy named Shane Douglas throwing down the NWA World Title. But I never really paid attention to this group, because if they weren't the WWF, WCW, SMW, or the USWA, I never got a chance to see them.
But after my family got a DirecTV system, I was flipping through the sports channels and stumbled upon this show called "Extreme Championship Wrestling." The name didn't register at first, but at the time, I figured that wrestling was wrestling, so why not watch a little? The first match lasted somewhere around 20 seconds, and featured ECW's behemoth 911 slaughtering former WCW jobber "Jungle" Jim Steele. The segment wasn't much, but the next one was the one that made me an ECW fan.
The match pitted the one and only Luna Vachon against Beulah McGillicutty. Having recognized Luna as Bam Bam Bigelow's "main squeeze" from the WWF circa 1993 and 1994, I quickly assumed that she'd make short work of the not-so-intimidating former Penthouse Pet. But then someone I'd come to know as Raven cracked Luna with a chair as soon as the bell rang, and a three-count later, Beulah was declared victorious. That may not sound like a lot, but it gets better. Tommy Dreamer runs out and after a brawl, Raven snaps two of Dreamer's fingers. My initial reaction was "whoa!" I'd never seen that kind of viciousness in a wrestling ring before, and it was that moment that made me want to tune in next week and the week after that. I was an ECW fan for life.
What made ECW special was the fact that it felt like I'd discovered something that no one else had seen yet. I didn't know all that many wrestling fans back then, but the two or three I did know followed the more mainstream WWF. It was as if they'd never heard of you if you didn't work for Vince McMahon. Nitro was in its infancy and the NWO's birth was a year away, so WCW wasn't all that well-known in the circles I ran in. And if WCW was unheard-of, you can imagine how small the number of ECW devotees I knew was. (Truth be told, I didn't meet another ECW fan until my sophomore year of high school in 1998.)
ECW's special to me because when I became a fan, I felt like I knew something the rest of the world didn't. It's kinda like being a fan of a particular actor or musician before they hit the big time, then being able to brag you were there first once fame comes their way. That's how I felt about ECW. As a wrestling fan, these three letters are important to me because they represent everything I enjoy about the sport. Whether it be a couple of guys diving through tables or cracking skillets over their heads, cruiserweights diving into the third row, or a pair of technical wrestlers having a 20-minute classic, ECW made me proud to be a fan.
It is my sincere desire that WWE's new ECW is successful. Sure, it'll have the McMahon family's fingerprints all over it, but if it can capture the same atmosphere that made me love it 11 years ago, then I'll have no problem with WWE's ECW.
Wednesday, June 7, 2006; 12:18 p.m.
Once again, not a lot going on. But it's only noon, so I guess things could happen between now and later. Who knows? But while I'm here, why don't I make a little post, hmm?
I made some progress in RE:CV the other day, thank God. I finally sucked it up and made it past the spiders, but now I'm struggling to make it past one of the big bosses named "Nosferatu." I did manage to kill him once, but then I went and got killed right after that, before I could save my progress. Don't you hate when that happens? Yeah, me too.
And that's about it. Out for now.
Sunday, June 4, 2006; 4:55 p.m.
Things are as slow as ever around here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but I could use a little more excitement around here. I understand it's hard to find cheap, affordable excitement in a town of only 300 people, but I'm sure something could turn up.
Still no RE:CV progress. I'm working on it, though. I'm gonna make it one of these days, you can bet on it.
I'm not exactly 100% sure what exactly I want to review next. I know for sure I'll be reviewing Alone In The Dark and BloodRayne when I get them from Netflix, but I haven't decided what I'll do until then. I have my eye on Jackie Brown so I can say I've reviewed all five of Quentin Tarantino's movies, but what else could I do? I'm thinking about the Ghostbusters movies or the Matrix trilogy, maybe True Romance or David Cronenberg's version of The Fly. I'll have to weed out the list before I really get down to work, but it doesn't hurt to have a few ideas.
And I believe that's all I have for this post. Out for now.
Sunday, June 4, 2006; 12:37 p.m.
The MTV Movie Awards were taped last night, and since I usually post all the winners and nominees and all that stuff, I might as well post last night's winners. The awards show won't air until Thursday, so here's what you can expect...
So there's your winners. Wedding Crashers was a great movie, but I still have a nagging feeling that Batman Begins, Sin City, King Kong, and The 40-Year-Old Virgin got screwed. But at least Christian Bale won Best Hero, because he deserved it. And I haven't seen Revenge of the Sith, but even if he is Darth Vader, I doubt Hayden Christensen is a better villain than Tobin "Jigsaw" Bell from Saw 2.
Overall, though, it doesn't look like all that bad of a show. And outside of Do The Right Thing, it doesn't look as pretentious as the Oscars or any other awards ceremony.
I picked up RE:CV again, and I almost made some progress before my hatred of bugs interfered and royally screwed things up.
To set the scene, I'd made it through the hallway with the oversized moth. I'm okay with that moth now, since he's actually pretty easy to avoid as long as you can stay away from this poison dust he sprays. Anyway, I make it past Mothra, and after avoiding a bunch of zombies and rabid zombie dogs, I restored power to the facility I'm trapped in. That's pretty nice, since running around with the lights on is better than with them off. That way, you can actually see the monsters that want to brutally kill you and eat your skin. So the walkthrough I'm following sends me into a particular room to retrieve a particular object, and that's when Spidey makes his presence known.
As soon as I enter the room, I'm greeted by an enormous spider. I fire off a few explosive arrows from my crossbow, but Spidey shrugs them off and keeps heading my way. Before I can either run away or equip my machine gun, Spidey is up in my face. He stands up on his back legs and proceeds to bite me on the neck. I couldn't even see myself, since Spidey was so huge. At this point, I flip out and turn off my Gamecube. I'd rather quit before I let some mutant spider bite my face off. I'm a wuss, I know.
I'll have to think up another plan of attack. Charging in with guns blazing obviously didn't work, so maybe I should be more evasive. Spidey was on top of me before I knew it, so if I'm going to be evasive, I'll have to be quick about it. There's supposed to be two more spiders in this room, but since I barely made it past the door, I'll probably have to be very quick if I intend to survive with my health intact.
Stupid spiders. Why must they torture me so? I can stare down legions of the undead and conquer monsters of all shapes and sizes, but an overgrown arachnid gives me so much grief that I can't even move forward. You win this round, Capcom.
The month of May is in the history books, and now it's time to jump into June.
So far, today has been a lot like yesterday. Really quiet, not a lot going on. Days like this are much welcomed, however, because I could use some rest and relaxation after days like Tuesday. Though I must admit, a few more days like Tuesday would be much welcomed. I have no problem with a little more excitement around here once in a while.
I mentioned a while back that I had a few ideas for new reviews I'd like to write. Following a discussion with a fellow lover of the cinematic arts last night, I added a few new movies to my rather lengthy "To Do" list. I figure I'll get around to them sooner or later, but I don't want to rush myself. You can't rush greatness. Rushed greatness isn't really greatness at all.
I haven't made any substantial progress on RE:CV lately, mainly due to my fear of spiders, especially ones that are the size of small cows. It might be a little silly to be afraid of virtual spiders, but goshdarn it, I hate bugs in just about every form. Maybe that's what Capcom wanted, though. It's a horror game, and these monsters scare me senseless. Those Capcom fellas are a sneaky lot.
That's pretty much all I've got for right now. If I can think of something further, I'll post. Otherwise, I'm satisfied with today's work.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006; 7:01 p.m.
Another day, another post. I don't have any particular topic of discussion planned, so I'm just going to slap a little something together and see where it takes me. Is that okay with you? It is? Good.
Today has been relatively tame, especially when compared to yesterday and Saturday. But even though not a lot happened today, I don't think it was a bad day. I'm not going to complain. Besides, I'm still worn out from yesterday's activities, so a slow, quiet day isn't that bad at all.
And I really can't think up anything decent to talk about. I guess I'll wrap it up and try to work on something for another post some other time. I'll see what I can do then.
Even though it seems that I didn't accomplish a whole lot, today was such a long day. Myself and my hetero life-mate Mo picked up some friends of ours from Lawrenceburg and went to Lexington in order to watch See No Evil again. Me and Mo had already seen it, but they hadn't, and they were determined to see that despite our attempts to convince them to see the much more superior X-Men 3 instead.
If you read my previous post regarding See No Evil, then that pretty much stands. However, I should probably retract that "best pro wrestler movie" comment. After being reminded of the work of The Rock by Lib, that comment isn't exactly relevant, since I thought The Scorpion King and Walking Tall were both better than See No Evil. Though as I said previously, Kane's character of "Jacob Goodnight" could be an entertaining horror villain on the C-list somewhere between Wishmaster and Leprechaun. But it'll take a few sequels that can improve on a movie that is, frankly, average at best. My rating of three stars stands.
After the movie, we swung by the shopping center at Lexington Green, where after spending a lot of time in Joseph-Beth's (which would totally be my Borders if I lived closer to Lexington), we moved on to the Disc Jockey store next door. There, I scored a little birthday present for myself: the DVD of Backlash. Hurrah.
Then after going back to Anderson County and hanging out at Lawrenceburg's park for a while, we headed home. The day was long, but fun, so I'll chalk it up on my list of good days.
And that's enough for this post. Out for now.
Today has been a good day. Good, but slow. Pretty much nothing has happened today, which I was expecting. The only things of note were going to get some ice cream and my aunt forgetting it was my birthday. She doesn't even own a computer, so I can heckle her here and she'll never know it. :-P
But even though the day has been very slow and relatively quiet, I'm not going to worry about it. Sure, I'd have liked a little more excitement, but at least today hasn't sucked. I could have found out I was adopted or gotten kicked in the no-no place. Neither of those have happened, so I can say that today has been pretty rockin' so far.
And that's all I could have really asked for.
Sunday, May 28, 2006; 11:47 p.m.
The big day officially begins in about fifteen minutes or so at midnight, and like with Backlash a month ago, the anticipation is at a fever pitch.
I don't know exactly what the day holds, since nobody has discussed any sort of plans with me. Maybe nothing will happen and it'll be business as usual. Or maybe there are plans and I'm being kept in the dark in regards to the whole thing. Both are viable options.
I do hope that the day ends up being fun, because the last thing I need is a crappy day tomorrow. I mean, who wants a crappy birthday? I guess I should keep a positive attitude about the whole thing. Yeah, it'll be awesome, no doubt.
You heard it here first, folks. Tomorrow is going to be a great day. Anyone who says otherwise is a fool or a liar.
Sunday, May 28, 2006; 2:56 p.m.
Here it is, on the eve of my 24th birthday, and I'm sitting here doing nothing but blogging. I could probably be out doing something to prepare for the big day tomorrow, but things don't always turn out the way we'd want them to. Le sigh.
The looming birthday has given me a chance to reflect on things. Am I where I should be at this stage of my life? Probably not. Am I at least on the right track? That, I do not know.
The path to greatness is a rough one, but it's particularly rougher right now. I've got a few accomplishments I need to attain, a few goals I need to achieve before the journey down that path to greatness can pick up any speed. These are things that I probably should have dealt with years ago, but I'm not exactly quick about doing things. That's my own fault, though. Stupid things happen when you don't use your brain.
But in any event, I'm hoping these things will be easier than I'm expecting. These sort of problems take a little time and patience to sort out, but I'm not worried. My birthday is tomorrow, which means I get one more year to straighten out the crap I should have dealt with in the past. One step forward is better than two backward, right?
Tomorrow is going to be a day of reckoning. Mark it down.
Saturday, May 27, 2006; 11:42 p.m.
Oh man, today was a long day. I'm worn out, sunburned, and I'm only really posing for the sake of doing something. So if this post sucks, at least I have an excuse. Or something resembling an excuse. Whatever.
I'm sunburned today because my town had something resembling a Memorial Day Weekend festival, but considering that my town has about 304 residents (according to the last census in 2000, that is), it wasn't really much of anything. But I had a good time hanging out at my uncle's house all day, so it wasn't a total waste.
In other news, the revolving taglines are up to 650. See if you can find out which ones are new. Or if you really want to have fun, try to pick out the old ones.
And that's all I've got at this point in time. I wanted to get a post up, so here this is. Out for now.
Friday, May 26, 2006; 11:57 p.m.
Caught the 7:30 showing of X-Men 3, and while I don't know if I would call it the best of the trilogy, I liked it a lot. It forsakes character development for lots and lots of action, but the action is quite entertaining, so I won't fault it for that. I really had a good time watching it, and the only major complaints I have are Cyclops getting very little screen time (apparently because James Marsden was off filming Superman Returns at the same time), and the fact that Gambit was nowhere to be found. Hopefully they'll include Gambit in X-Men 4, if there is one, because he's one of my favorites. But anyway, I'll give X-Men 3 a solid three and a half stars, leaning towards four.
Oh, and stay through the credits. There's a very cool scene at the end.
Thursday, May 25, 2006; 8:40 p.m.
Made plenty of progress on RE:CV today, and I'm right around halfway through. Y'see, the game is spread out on two discs, and I just made it through the first one.
It was rough, too. There was this one particular boss I had to fight twice, both times with not a lot of room to get around. I managed to get by him the first time, then he showed up a second time in the cargo hold of my airplane just as I was getting ready to make my escape from this one particular area. He knocked my butt from one end of the cargo hold to the other, even knocking me out the plane's open hatch at one point. But I got him good. It took every single bullet I had, but I got him. Because I rock. I'm going to start in on the second disc sometime, but hopefully I'll run into some bullets. I can't be expected to get my kill on without some heavy artilery.
Regardless, I'm on my way to victory. You can't stop a survival horror expert like me. You just can't.
Thursday, May 25, 2006; 1:21 a.m.
Made a little progress on Code Veronica. I wouldn't say I made a lot, but I did figure out what I was doing wrong. I got my confusion straightened out, so that's a little something, right?
A little progress is better than none, and I might be able to knock it out if I keep chipping away at it. I'll probably end up chipping away at it forever and ever, but as long as I get it taken care of, I think I'll be okay. I've set my mind on defeating RE:CV, and sooner or later, I'll be getting it done. You know this.
Out until next time.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006; 1:02 p.m.
Man, Resident Evil: Code Veronica is tougher than I thought. I played it for 45 minutes today, got turned around backwards and couldn't remember how to get where I needed to go, and ended up getting killed by two big ugly monsters that can punch me in the face from across the room. Then there's the rabid dogs, the zombies, the salamanders that can zap me with electricity, and the giant man-eating worm that looks like one of the monsters from Tremors.
What doesn't help is that some of the areas I need to go through are incredibly tough to navigate. It's like the video game equivalent of Chinese algebra. I'm supposed to go to this room with a tank in it, and I've already been through that room once, but I just can't remember how to find it. And since decent save points are harder to find, I end up having to start back at this tough-as-nails spot with those electric salamanders before I can start hunting for it again. And no, I unfortunately cannot drive the tank (as far as I know, anyway). I want to, but that would be too convenient, and Capcom doesn't want me to have any convenience whatsoever.
It might take me a few months of work, but by golly, I will beat Code Veronica. The other five games have been overcome, and so will number six. One of these days, anyway.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006; 10:52 p.m.
Another mini-review to kill some time.
I caught the 4:50 showing of See No Evil today, and I'd go out on a limb and say that it's one of the best movies with a pro wrestler in the lead role ever made. That isn't saying much, when you consider the competition is movies like Mr. Nanny and 3 Ninjas: High Noon on Mega Mountain.
But in any event, the main cast - or as I prefer to call him, the cannon fodder - is disposable. Kane, on the other hand, makes for not all that bad of a villain. He most certainly has the look down, but I think it might take a few, better-made sequels to put him even in the same league as the Wishmaster or the Leprechaun, let alone Jason, Freddy, or Leatherface. But I'll go out on a limb and give See No Evil a solid three stars. I can't complain.
Monday, May 22, 2006; 4:01 p.m.
Today was a good day. Why? I got a big birthday present in the mail today.
Coming in all the way from New Hampshire was a vertitable cornucopia of goodies. Thanks to Lib, I now have five volumes of the Sin City books (I think all I need now are "Family Values" and "Hell And Back," but those shouldn't be too hard to track down), Resident Evil: Code Veronica X, the DVDs of Jackie Brown and True Romance, an unauthorized book about ECW, and three Lego men made to look like Freddy, Jason, and Leatherface. And let's not forget that cute birthday card, too. I owe you one, Lib.
While I'm here, I should thank Dave for the three wrestling DVDs he sent me last week, and thanks to Mike for the Family Guy DVDs he purchased on my Amazon wish list a few months back. That was mighty gracious of you both.
And if the rest of you readers want to get me something, you jokers have a week. :P
Sunday, May 21, 2006; 4:55 p.m.
Finally, I've got that new review completed and ready to go live. So check out my review of Hostel by clicking here, and hopefully, the review turned out better than the actual movie itself.
I've had a few other ideas for future movies to review, but I'm not exactly certain which one I want to do next. I'll probably take a little time off first, because after putting all that work into the Hostel review, I think I could use a break. I've done a little work on some, mostly just taking some notes, but nothing major.
I guess I'll figure it out when I decided to pick up another movie to review. But until then, readers, excelsior.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006; 4:04 p.m.
I think I've made it through that rough writing patch, and the rest of that review should come along nicely when I pick it back up later. At least, I had better be through that rough patch, because it was frustrating enough to comeup with what I did.
And that's the weird thing. Sometimes what I want to say comes easily, while there are those other times that I can read the dictionary twice and still not find what I want to say. And then there's those times where I can be succinct and to the point, and other times that I ramble on and on and on, and the thing ends up being 50 years long. Either way, I do enjoy the writing, but she can be a cruel mistress sometimes.
At least the fun is still there. That's one of the big reasons I keep going, because I'm having fun doing it. I'll admit that I get frustrated and worn out during the making of particular reviews, but when I put the finishing touches on them and get them uploaded, it can be so very satisfying. I put a lot of work into them, and I hope it shows.
Now if only I could make a decent paycheck doing it...
Monday, May 15, 2006; 7:51 p.m.
I've been putting in a little work on something new for Sutton At The Movies, but it's coming along a lot slower than I originally expected. I'm just having a tough time building up enough enthusiasm to get it done. I'm constantly getting distracted, or getting up to go do something else.
Could it be that I've burned myself out? I have been working awfully hard on a lot of different reviews lately, so that might be a good excuse. I really do want to write this new review, but it's like I've just slipped into a rough patch for now. I know I'll get it knocked out sooner or later, but all I need is to hit the proper stride.
I'll get there eventually. It's all just a matter of time.
Thursday, May 11, 2006; 9:04 p.m.
I think I'll do something I haven't done in a while. Tonight is the season finale of Smallville, so let's do a little "Sutton Watches Smallville," shall we? Just in case you've forgotten, here's the rules: I watch Smallville, and jot down my random thoughts as the show progresses. Got that? Super. And I hope this episode is good, because I'm giving up the first 20 minutes of the My Name Is Earl season finale to watch it all the way through.
That was a heck of an ending. Lex/Zod and Lana are necking up on the rooftops of Metropolis, Clark is in the Phantom Zone, Martha and Lois are flying with Brainiac Airlines and are about to die, Chloe looks like she's about to be on the recieving end of a gang rape, and Lionel is God knows where. Hurry up and get here, next season! I don't know if I can handle another four-month hiatus.
However, the big question I have is this: must everyone in the universe fall in love with Lana? You remember Poochie from The Simpsons? Lana is kinda like that. She's annoying and absolutely dreadful, but everyone loves her and thinks she's pretty and perfect. I guess Zod got his brain swiss-cheesed with Lex's, because if he really hated humans so much, he'd have just chucked Lana off the building and laughed as she hit the pavement.
And now on to the second half of My Name Is Earl's season finale. Out until season six.
Thursday, May 11, 2006; 7:34 p.m.
I mentioned earlier that I was going through Resident Evil 4 again. Well, guess what?
I just beat it for the sixth time.
With 919 enemies killed and a total playing time of five hours, 35 minutes, and 49 seconds (which beat my previous time by about an hour or thereabouts), I claimed my sixth victory in RE4's main game. And I knew hanging on to Ada's special bazooka after the last go-around would come in handy too, because with it, my fight with Saddler at the very end lasted all of twenty seconds. How's that for a final boss battle? I only died six times during the game, the majority of which were caused by Ashley not bothering to get her sorry butt out of the way of one of my bullets.
But all in all, a good run. Maybe I'll go for lucky number seven sometime.
Thursday, May 11, 2006; 3:20 p.m.
I put a little work into some new reviews, but nothing major has been completed as of yet. Netflix is shipping me a movie today, and once it shows up in my mailbox in the next day or two, I'm going to jump into a review headfirst. I've been thinking about reviewing both the original When A Stranger Calls and its remake sometime in the future, so once the remake is available, I'll have two more reviews to add to the archives. I've been a reviewing machine this year, and I don't plan on slowing down.
Meanwhile, I've jumped back into Resident Evil 4, and I'm making great time. I'm already on the island, and dead ahead is the U-3. And as much as I love the Handcannon, I'm finding the Chicago Typewriter to be much more effective when I'm being swarmed by freaks. Rapid-fire can definitely trump one shot a time when need be, but it's a balance of finding out what works in what situations. And really, a good balance of both weaponry and strategy is important. You don't want to take a knife to a shootout, and you don't want to storm into a room full of monsters without a plan. Sometimes it just doesn't pay to kick in a door and burst in with guns blazing. I've discovered that hiding in one corner of the room with a sniper rifle can be a good idea. It all comes down to being strategic, and being a master of one's surroundings. And a little heavy artilery is helpful too. That's why I've beaten Resident Evil 4 five times, with a sixth victory coming soon.
Man, I'm addicted to this game.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006; 7:29 p.m.
You know, I noticed something a little while ago. I was going back through my March 2006 archives looking for an old post of mine, and I noticed all of my comments had disappeared. The only ones still around are the ones from April and May. Every other comment before that, from both Blogger and Tripod, aren't showing up. The funny thing is that all the comments from January to now are showing up between January to now in HaloScan's control panel, but just aren't showing up here. And needless to say, I'm both confused and a little bummed.
I did a wee bit of research, and it turns out that HaloScan does this in order to save bandwidth and memory, but I could keep them if I upgraded to a premium account. I'm most certainly not going to pay to keep my comments around, so sooner or later, I may just switch over to the comment feature that Blogger offers. I don't want my comments getting deleted, after all. Unfortunately, that means all the comments that were still around on Blogger aren't available on the main page anymore, but I guess sacrifices have to be made in order to make sure things work properly.
I'll probably still keep the HaloScan comments up at Tripod. The Blogger Experience is the one everyone reads and comments on, so I don't think comments on the Tripod blog disappearing will end up being that big of a deal. And if Blogger starts deleting comments, I'm just gonna throw a fit.
Tuesday, May 9, 2006; 3:36 p.m.
Yesterday was such a long day. I'd have written up a post about it last night, but I was too tired to do it. But today is a new day, right?
The day began around 12:30 or so, when myself and Mo went down to Greensburg to visit a little hole in the wall café called "Dumas Walker's." We don't know the real name of it, but that's what we call it, so whatever. I'd been there a few times back when I was in college, but it's been nearly five years since I've been there. The place wasn't exactly how I remembered it due to some aesthetic changes, but I'm not going to complain about getting a burger, fries, and a drink for $2.75.
After leaving Dumas's, we stopped off in my old stomping grounds of Campbellsville for some bowling. We played six games; Mo did great, I did horribly. I finally hit my groove in the seventh game, but we had to cut it short in the sixth frame. The thing that resets the pins got stuck, and after waiting 20 minutes for it to get fixed, we decided to wrap it up and leave. Just I was on a roll too, no pun intended. But now the bowling has come back to haunt me, because now my back and right arm are killing me. I'll survive, though.
There were also some other stuff that happened, but Mo's asked me not to blog about it because he doesn't want the whole world to know. Yeah, like the whole world reads this. Only two of my four readers have ever met him, so I don't think it would really matter. But I'll humor him and not say anything here. Let's just say that I hope his radar detector will start coming more in handy in the future.
Came home to watch Raw, and that was it for the day. I was worn out, but I could probably use more days like yesterday.
Yeah, I totally could.
Sunday, May 7, 2006; 5:56 p.m.
I should really get around to finding some spare DVD cases. I've got a few DVDs whose cases aren't in the best of shape (like Forever Hardcore and Blair Witch 2), and I'm sure I could find replacement cases at a reasonable price somewhere. It's not that big of a deal and I'm not in that huge of a rush, but this sort of thing is a minor annoyance I could do without. Yes, I'm weird. Why do you ask?
Outside of that, there really isn't a whole lot going on worth talking about here. I did download Backlash after three days or so of working at it, just so I could have a copy of the TV broadcast. But seeing as how my computer operates with Stone Age technology, I probably won't have all that great of a time watching it on my computer. But at least I have it, right? I'll probably have to invest in a DVD burner sometime in the future, so I can have that to accompany WWE's official release of the show. The same goes for last year's edition of ECW's One Night Stand, the TV broadcast of which I have burned onto some CDs around here somewhere. WWE's release of it is edited, so having the TV broadcast is a fun companion. But I'd just like to have it burned on a DVD so I can watch it on my television.
And that's all I've got for now. TTFN, folks.
Saturday, May 6, 2006; 2:23 a.m.
Caught the 9:55 showing of An American Haunting in Danville.
I didn't know all that much about the movie going in, other than it was supposedly inspired by Tennessee's "Bell Witch" legend. And if you ask me, I thought the movie was mediocre at best. It wasn't awful, but I've seen far better movies. The concept of the movie is this: a woman in 2006 discovers a diary from the 1800s, kept by a previous resident of her house. As she reads the diary, we see one of several viewpoints regarding the Bell Witch's origin. The scenes set in present day are useless and accomplish absolutely nothing outside of a predictable scare at the end of the movie.
Honestly, the movie seemed to bear too close of a resemblance to the far superior The Exorcism of Emily Rose, since An American Haunting's female lead occasionally suffered from what appeared to be supernaturally-influenced seizures. And if I wanted to watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose, I would do so. I did like Donald Sutherland's performance, and I thought Sissy Spacek was underused, but there's no reason for you to feel bad if you miss the movie. An American Haunting gets a disappointing two and a half stars. I didn't have any expectations at all, and it still let me down.
For shame, An American Haunting. For shame.
Friday, May 5, 2006; 11:45 a.m.
I've been kicking around a few ideas for some new additions to the S@TM archives. Some, I'd really like to do. Others, I'd be reviewing simply for the sake of reviewing them. I'll have to weed out the want-to's from the could-do's sometime, because I'd rather do the ones I would enjoy writing before doing the ones that are there just to be there.
I'm going to work this out one way or another. The reviews are my babies, and any work I put into them has to satisfy me first and foremost. Yes, my readers are important, but if I'm not happy with my work, I'm not sure you guys will enjoy it either. It's a delicate balance, folks.
But some of the reviews I'm considering, I think I would really enjoy writing them. There are only two real things slowing me down. One is finding the proper poster art to accompany them. I know it's a minor, unimportant detail, but it's something I like to do. Consider it an OCD, if you want. The second thing is simply setting my mind to writing them.
I'll probably get around to each of them sooner or later, one way or another. Like I've said a zillion times in the past, things will always work themselves out.
Thursday, May 4, 2006; 10:21 p.m.
You know, for a guy that complains about having anything to talk about, I sure do post an awful lot.
Now that Backlash is in the history books, I don't have any reviews on the current docket, and I've absolutely descimated Resident Evil 4, I've come down with a nasty case of writer's block. I could always go back to doing nothing but posting those quickie movie reviews every other weekend, but I've gotten more into the routine of posting about a little bit of everything.
I guess I could start going back to the time-tested method of simply making things up as I go along. I do that a lot anyway, so it isn't like I would have to make any drastic changes. So I think I'll start doing that a little more often.
Wednesday, May 3, 2006; 8:57 p.m.
Me and Moses had a movie night last night, with a double feature consisting of Wolf Creek and Stir of Echoes.
We watched Wolf Creek first, and holy cow, it was awesome. I'll have more details when I get the full review done, but it'll be getting a favorable review, for sure. The review is coming along well, thanks for asking. I'll have it up sooner or later, whenever I get it finished.
Stir of Echoes was after that, and since I hadn't seen it for quite a while, it was like an all-new experience. And it was scary as hell, too. I jumped about six inches out of my chair during one particular scare, and Moses jumped so high, he nearly ended up in the floor. We're a pair of wussies, I know. But Stir of Echoes is really good, really creepy, and sadly underrated. Go rent it sometime, I dare you.
And that's pretty much it for now. Out.
Tuesday, May 2, 2006; 12:47 p.m.
I feel the need... the need to post. Okay, so that didn't rhyme like it did in Top Gun. Shut up.
I got Wolf Creek from Netflix yesterday, and I haven't had much of a real opportunity to watch it yet. But I have it on good authority that it isn't all that bad. I'll trust Libby over Roger Ebert any day. And I'm planning on reviewing Wolf Creek for Sutton At The Movies, so you'll have that to look forward to.
I've got my eye on reviewing Hostel too, so hopefully, Netflix won't make me wait too long for it once I send Wolf Creek back. If I can get then both done right away, I'm planning on doing them both as a "Torture Horror Double Feature" or somesuch. It's no Super Saturday (remember that from forever ago?), but it'd be something. I do what I can.
But I'm totally looking forward to sitting down and watching Wolf Creek, because if anything is insane, it's a foreign horror movie. I've seen Japanese, French, and British horror (and even a little Korean horror), and they're all wild, so I wonder how crazy Australian horror is. It better be good, but if not, I hope it's still a fun review to write.
Out for now.
Monday, May 1, 2006; 1:00 p.m.
Backlash was last night, and I had a really fun time. I even picked up a souvenir. I'll probably have to wait until I get to watch the DVD before I really get to see how it turned out on television, but I had a ball being there in person. I ended up taking almost 250 pictures, but most of them turned out being ungodly blurry, and thus not that good. If I had a tripod or closer seats, it would have turned out okay, but some of the ones that could be salvaged weren't all that bad. If anybody wants to see them, just ask and I'll try hook you up with a few of them. But here's some quick thoughts...
And that's all I've got. Fun night, fun show. I want to do it again sometime.
Sunday, April 30, 2006; 12:52 p.m.
Today is the big day, and the next seven hours are going to be crazy, I just know it. Like I said a few posts back, even if the matches are subpar, I've dedicated myself to having a good time at Backlash. Ain't nothin' gonna stop me now.
In other news, I played through the first village in Resident Evil 4 with the Handcannon yesterday after I unlocked it, and it's too cool for school. I upgraded it as far as I could get it, and that thing really is like a cannon shrunk down into handgun form. Usually it takes three or four shots to bust down a wooden door, but this bad boy will take it down in one. How awesome is that? I might have to play a little further than the village one of these days, just to see how quickly I can take out some of the bigger freaks. The Chicago Typewriter is great, and I don't want to dog it, but I think the Handcannon just may be cooler than it. It better be, for all the effort I had to put forth to acquire it.
Saturday, April 29, 2006; 7:37 p.m.
Backlash is in 24 hours or thereabouts, and the anticipation here is at a fever pitch.
The show is the first televised wrestling event I've ever attended, and the first WWE show I've been to since the summer of 2003. So yeah, you'd be correct in assuming that I'm at least a little excited. Why wouldn't I be? I've been excited for every show I've been to, but this one is a little special because myself and everyone in attendance get to share it with the entire world. Plus I'll get to own my own copy of the show in about a month (or whenever the DVD is released). So that makes Backlash a little different, doesn't it?
I'm such a mark.
Saturday, April 29, 2006; 3:41 p.m.
Just a few moments ago, I achieved something that I never thought I could. I have absolutely conquered, dominated, and destroyed the Mercenaries mini-game on Resident Evil 4. Four levels. Five characters. Twenty five-star runs. And now, the Handcannon is unlocked. I thought I was unstoppable before, but now I'm even moreso. I can now say that I have absolutely, without a doubt, defeated Resident Evil 4. All of it.
Time to party.
Friday, April 28, 2006; 9:34 p.m.
I really want to post, but I'm having a hard time thinking of a specific topic of discussion. This seems to happen a lot. But like any good blog writer, I'll just make it up as I go along. Come on, Alice, let's see how deep this rabbit hole goes.
Backlash is the day after tomorrow, and you can expect a big post about it around Monday or thereabouts. And depending on how the pictures I take turn out, it'll probably be an illustrated post too. I'll probably do a quickie post about it on Sunday night after the show just to get my immediate thoughts down. Besides, I'll probably be too worn out from all the excitement to really get too in depth right away. But I do plan on letting you guys reading know what it was like inside Rupp Arena during the show. I like to keep my readers updated on all the happenings in Suttonville, after all.
And that's all I've got for tonight. I wanted to get a post up, and I'm satisfied with my efforts here. I'm gonna wrap it up for the night, and until next time, excelsior.
Thursday, April 27, 2006; 10:00 p.m.
I saw Silent Hill again this afternoon, and I liked it just as much as I did on Sunday.
Personally, I liked it a lot more the second time around. While I found the acting average the first time, the cast grew on me the second time. Everyone is quirky and unique, and I really enjoyed Laurie Holden as the cynical cop who just wants to leave without suffering any grievous bodily harm.
The plot is kinda weak, but it's really secondary to the movie's motivation and intent. The driving force behind the movie is its desire to absolutely screw with the head of everyone in the audience. It's chock full of mind-bending visuals, terrifying monsters with a thirst for carnage and violence, and sound design that would make me wet my pants if I heard it in a haunted house. From that aspect, the movie is wonderful. Also wonderful is composer Jeff Danna's adaptation of Akira Yamaoka's awesome music from the Silent Hill games. The music is nothing short of outstanding.
The three and a half star review I gave it on Sunday stands, and I give it a recommendation. It isn't for those who don't like bizarre movies or who have weak constitutions, but I recommend it all the same.
Out for now.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006; 11:30 p.m.
I posted earlier about my progress on the Mercenaries side-game on Resident Evil 4, but I just made more progress than I ever imagined. Using Wesker and his handy-dandy sniper rifle in the castle level, I annihilated 120 freaks for a final score of 108,420 points. That blew away my previous personal high score of 88,040.
In short, I rule.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006; 4:12 p.m.
Made more progress in Resident Evil 4.
What kind of progress, you ask? I got my fourth five-star run with Leon today, which gives me four with him and four with Krauser. I still have those remaining twelve to get, so I'll have to start picking away at it with Ada, Hunk, and Wesker sometime. That's on my "To Do" list somewhere, for sure.
I just want to unlock that elusive Handcannon. I've got a good five or six million pesetas saved up in the main game, so price is not an issue. Getting there, on the other hand, will take a little time and effort.
But I'll get there, by hook or by crook.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006; 2:18 p.m.
Moving on to other topics, Backlash is this coming Sunday, and I'm über-excited, of course. I'm bummed that the Spirit Squad wasn't booked for a match, but I'm sure the show will still be fun. And even if Ric Flair is stuck wrestling an opponent I don't care much for, I'm glad he'll be there. I've seen him live once before, when he was managing Randy Orton at the house show I attended in 2003, but I've never seen him actually wrestle. I still want to see Hulk Hogan in person since I think I'm one of the last true Hulkamaniacs, but I certainly won't complain about what I'm getting.
While I'm looking forward to every match on the show, I'm probably looking forward to the women's title match most of all. If you're a regular follower of the Matt Sutton Experience, then you probably saw my post about Mickie James a few weeks back. I'm proud that she's hit the big time, and I'm not completely sure, but I think Sunday will make her the only second person I've seen in person at both an OVW show and a WWE show, and the first that's booked in matches at both.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006; 12:38 p.m.
Most of you readers in the loop have heard about what happened to my sister, and on her behalf, thank you for the happy thoughts.
For those of you out of the loop, here's what happened. My little sister Bet wrecked her car late Monday night and had to be taken via helicopter to the University of Kentucky's hospital. The details are a little sketchy because Bet doesn't remember much, but she apparently ran off the road, took out a fence, and the car flipped end over end a few times before stopping very close to a pond. Luckily for her, the car landed right side up and not in the pond. Two wheels broke off and the paramedics had to cut the roof off the car, so unless she's pretty good with a welder's torch or wants a two-wheeled convertable, I doubt she'll be driving it anymore.
But don't worry, she's okay. She's stiff as a board from being immobilized for 12 hours, and her arm is wraped up in a splint due to what I think is nerve damage in her wrist. But that'll get better. As long as she isn't dead, things are going to be fine.
Once again, thanks for the happy thoughts.
Monday, April 24, 2006; 4:55 p.m.
Finally, I have all three of those reviews finished and ready to share with the viewing public. So for your perusal, I have reviews of three huge monkey movies: the 1933, 1976, and 2005 versions of King Kong. Check 'em out.
Monday, April 24, 2006; 3:51 p.m.
As it's become my wont over the years, here's the nominees for this year's MTV Movie Awards. I do it with the Oscars and Razzies, might as well post the Moonmen.
Best Comedic Performance:
Best Frightened Performance:
Best On-Screen Team:
So there you are, the nominees for this year's MTV Movie Awards. I must say, I don't get the reasoning behind nominating just Jessica Alba for "best hero" when 1.) she was a part of a bigger group of heroes, and 2.) she was the weak link in the cast to begin with.
But what do I know, I don't pick these nominees.
Sunday, April 23, 2006; 5:41 p.m.
I caught a 1:00 showing of Silent Hill, and it is very much an H.P. Lovecraft story if it were told by David Lynch. It's a very surreal, bizarre experience with evil cults and deformed monsters, and a seemingly ambiguous ending that can be confusing if you aren't familiar with the Silent Hill universe. I'll admit, it confused me somewhat, since I've never played any of the games. But after reading some of the theories posted online, I understand it a little better.
Silent Hill is dark, demented, violent, and frightening. However, I do have a couple of minor complaints. The acting is hit-or-miss at times, a particular subplot ends with seemingly no resolution, and I wasn't exactly thrilled with the climax, and the movie sometimes seemed almost too dark (in terms of poor lighting). However, complaints aside, I thought the movie was a very exciting, trippy movie. Three and a half stars for Silent Hill, which just may be the best cinematic adaptation of a video game ever.
That's right, I said it.
Just a few minutes ago, I conquered Resident Evil 4 for the fifth time. Final stats: 939 enemies killed, with a final time of six hours, 37 minutes, and 54 seconds. That beats my old time of just over nine hours. Sadly, I was killed eleven times, the most since my first time through. For those counting, that was one accidental Ashley kill, and ten deaths via rolling boulder. Those are tough, and I'm not Indiana Jones. It happens. And I must admit, this time around is memorable for me, as I managed to kill Saddler without having to use that special rocket Ada throws you.
Because I don't need special tools to know how to rock.
Thursday, April 20, 2006; 10:29 p.m.
Fun fact: This is post #345. Rock on.
Anyway, I've got some Backlash news. Whether it's good or bad, I don't know for sure, I'll leave that up to you. I talked to my partner in crime, Mo, tonight about things, and he has to work a 9:00 to 6:00 shift on the 30th. It would take 25 or 30 minutes to get back to our neighborhood, and giving him at least 20 minutes to swing by his house, get ready, then come get me, we wouldn't get out of here until around 7:00 at the latest. Accounting for traffic and stop lights, it'll take us at least an hour to get to Rupp Arena. The tickets say the show starts at 7:45 (while the big show itself won't start until 8:00), but we want to have plenty of time to get situated. We don't want to roll up in there and miss anything, you know?
He's been told that he'll have to wait and see what kind of workload they have that day before his manager will decide if he can leave early. He probably wouldn't need to leave until around 5:00 or 5:30, so hopefully, it'll be a slow day. Mo also mentioned that he knows a guy who has the 30th off and might swap days with him, so hopefully that will work out. So that's Plan A: work something out to either get the day off or be out of there by no later than 5:30.
We have a Plan B too, but hopefully, we can stick to Plan A. Plan B would consist of meeting up at the truck stop near here, just off the parkway between our neighborhood, his place of business, and Lexington. I prefer Plan A, but whatever works, I guess.
I should hopefully know if at least one part Plan A is a go by the end of the week. If Mo can't switch days with that coworker, then I won't know one way or the other until Sunday afternoon at the latest.
More news as it happens. Out for now.
Thursday, April 20, 2006; 8:28 p.m.
The drive for five may not go as quickly as previously anticipated. The third part in my hat trick of reviews arrived in the mail from Netflix today, so I've got that to work on. I've been sitting on the other two finished reviews for a while, and I want to get it out of the way so I can get them all posted. I made a commitment to get all three done, and by golly, I'm gonna do it.
I'm sure that there is a balance to be found between my desire to conquer RE4 for a fifth time and finish that review that I've been meaning to write for the longest time. Like I've said in the past, these things tend to work themselves out. They always do,.
Thursday, April 20, 2006; 2:15 p.m.
Welcome back to my sleepy little corner of the Interweb. I'm glad you could make it.
I made a teeny-weeny bit more progress on The Mercenaries, scoring a five-stare run with Leon in the castle. That's about 85 freaks disposed of, along with a Superclaw. Way to go, me.
I still haven't jumped back into RE4's main game yet, but it's on my very long list of things to accomplish one of these days. I already have four victories over the game, and a fifth sounds prettty good. You know, I may actually jump into that right now. The drive for five starts here.
Out for now.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006; 3:35 p.m.
I got a fever, and the only prescription is more Resident Evil 4. That, and more cowbell. Gotta have more cowbell.
I've been playing that Mercenaries side game a lot lately, and I finally achieved a five-star ranking on every level with Krauser. It'll take a lot of time and effort, but I'm hoping to one day accomplish the same with the other four characters. That reward awaiting me on the other side of the necessary twenty five-star runs is daring me to come after it, and I'll get there soon enough. It's the only thing in the game that I have left to unlock, so I'm going to keep plugging away at it. That reward is going to be mine.
I've also put some thought into playing through the main game one more time. That's the great thing about Resident Evil 4. Once you get the hang of the controls and really get engrossed in it, the replayability is high. It's for sure my favorite game in my rather meager video game collection. If Capcom had the idea to remake the other five games in the core series using RE4's engine, they'd be even more awesome. I sadly have yet to play Code Veronica, but I do know that the Gamecube's versions of RE2 and RE3 could use a major overhaul in the graphics department. They're still fun, but it's hard to get into these clunky PS1-era graphics when RE0, the remake of RE1, and RE4 have these awesome visuals. But I guess that I'll survive, because if I'd played the games in their original forms ten years ago, I probably wouldn't have complained. So what do I know, huh?
And that's it for now. I might have more later if I can think of something. But if I don't, I think today was a good day for blogging. TTFN, dear readers.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006; 12:01 a.m.
This isn't much news, but it's something. I talked to my usual partner in crime about ten minutes ago, and he hasn't had the chance to speak to his department manager about his hours on the 30th. He's gonna try as soon as he can (which I hope is very soon, since the show is only a week and a half away), though he didn't shoot down my idea of calling in sick if he has to. I'll call in sick for him if I have to, just as long as he can get that night off. I would.
I think the situation is on its way to getting worked out, and hopefully this little turn in the road to the pay-per-view has been just a minor speed bump. But let's just wait and see what happens next.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006; 4:12 a.m.
Did a little nosing around YouTube, and ended up coming up with more ideas for new reviews I'd like to write. It just takes me forever to get the reviews started, then finished to my satisfaction. And even after I get them published, they're still works-in-progress. I'm always tinkering around with them, whether it be discovering typos, fixing grammatical errors, or just putting a little polish on them. So much work, not enough time. Once you get word on that 36-hour day, Lib, let me know. It could be helpful when working on new inductions for Sutton At The Movies.
I still have the third part of that previously mentioned review trifecta to work on, as well. It'll still be a while, since Netflix can be slow (and let's be honest, so can I). I do promise all three will be up sooner or later, but it just takes a little patience.
There are plenty of movies in the DVD collection and my Netflix queue that I'd like to review, but it's simply a matter of getting off my lazy butt and putting forth the effort. I'll have to name "getting around to my next project" as my next project. How's that for zen?
Out for now.
Monday, April 17, 2006; 5:38 p.m.
Another day, another post. Let's go to work.
I haven't gotten any updated on the Backlash situation yet. But once I find out, you'll hear it here first. This ordeal better rectify itself in a positive way, because I haven't spent the last few weeks getting excited for nothing. At the very least, I'd hope my buddy would be able to trade shifts with someone. Or maybe he could just call in sick and go hang out with me. I'd skip work to hang out with me any day of the week. Who wouldn't want to do that?
But as I said, I'm sure the situation will work itself out. These things always do.
Sunday, April 16, 2006: 1:47 p.m.
Talked to the holder of the other Backlash ticket, and my excitement got brought down a peg or two. He got moved to another department at his job last week, and now he isn't for sure if he'll be able to get his schedule set for the 30th. He's going to see what he can do, and I hope things can get settled.
If he can't go, then the tickets are useless. Y'see, I don't have a driver's license, and I live so far out in the boonies that public transportation is a foreign term. I also don't know anyone (in this neck of the woods, anyway) that would take that second ticket in the event that he can't go.
I don't want to spend $106.85 on something I can't use. Sure, I could scalp them or sell them on eBay or something, but where is the fun in that? That would be more disappointing than anything.
But here's hoping there won't be problems. Things better work out. They will, I'm sure.
I hope so, anyway.
Sunday, April 16, 2006; 11:10 a.m.
Backlash is in two weeks, and the excitement is starting to build back up. The 30th can't get here quick enough.
As I said some time back, as the days get closer, I'm going to feel more and more like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. I've been to three events in the past, and each time, I've been so excited, I couldn't stand it. This one is no different. I'm probably even more excited than all three previous shows combined.
My guess is it's because of the whole "I'm on TV" vibe. The other three were non-televised, and though they were each special in their own way, they didn't have the same atmosphere as I would assume something being broadcast live around the world would be. Come on, it's pay-per-view! You can't go wrong with that. Well, yeah, I guess the show could suck, but at least I'd get to see it suck in person. That actually has the chance to be fun, I guess.
That's the thing. Even in the event of every match being horrendously bad, I'm sure it will be a fun kind of bad. "Ed Wood movie marathon" bad. I can enjoy the fun kind of bad, because it's amusing at the very least. As long as it isn't completely bad, then I'll be okay. Of course, I'm hoping it won't be bad at all, but anyway.
The next two weeks are going to feel like they're taking forever, I just know it. That always seems to happen, and I hate it when it does. If Father Time could help me out, that would be great. Come on, Father Time, hook a brother up. Please?
Saturday, April 15, 2006; 2:32 p.m.
Things are great, thanks for asking.
Today has been such a lazy day. Lazier than usual. It's one of those days where it's such a nice day that you get way too comfortable and don't feel like doing anything but relaxing. One of those days. Today is so nice, I don't think I'll be getting much accomplished. I just can't be bothered with menial tasks today. Not part of the plan. Screw the TPS Reports, Lumburgh, I'm playing Tetris.
The path to destiny has a few rest stops along the way. And today, that isn't a problem.
Friday, April 14, 2006; 6:34 p.m.
I'm wanting to post again, but can't think of anything specific to discuss. Hmm, let's throw stuff and see what sticks, shall we? Okay then, let's jump right into it.
I was going through Wikipedia's article on 1982, and I'm surprised at how many celebrities are all the same age as me. Who'd have thought Jessica Biel was 24? Not me. I thought she'd be 26 or 27 or something like that. Anyway, the reason I was researching that was because IMDB.com is highlighting that today is Sarah Michelle Gellar's 29th birthday. Buffy is pushing 30? Inconcievable!
Speaking of birthdays, happy birthday to Willow of the NHGs. Happy happies, Wil.
Today has been a pretty day outside. It's about time Mother Nature did something good for a change. Unfortunately, I don't have any plans scheduled for the evening. What a bummer.
Friday, April 14, 2006; 1:43 p.m.
Sometimes I wonder about the nature of The Matt Sutton Experience.
I started up on Tripod.com back in 2001 simply because my neighbor Kenny had his own blog on Tripod. I saw his and figured if he could do that, so could I. I didn't really have any idea or real plan what I wanted to do with it, or if anyone would ever read it. But it was there. After four years of plying my trade at Tripod, I moved over to Blogger. Again, everybody else is doing it, why didn't I. I liked the layout, and I thought (and still think) it's more efficiant than working with my older setup. I still keep the Tripod blog around, and I don't plan on parting ways with it. ButI know what I prefer, y'know what I mean?
But nearly four and a half years after I opened up my little shop of horrors, I think I've finally found purpose. What started as a way for me to rip off my neighbor is now a labor of love. Both the Original Experience and the New Hotness serve as a place for me to collect my thoughts, to speack my mind, and to share with what little readership I have. The Matt Sutton Expericence, in both its forms, have evolved from a poorly produced attempt at a personal website, to not really much of anything, to the unchained beast it is today.
The blog has become much more entertaining and fun over the years, especially on a personal level. I wrote sometime back that if it wasn't fun, I wouldn't do it. And it's still fun. I'm enjoying what I do here. I'll admit that I don't operate the best blog out there, but I do what I can. And though I don't have many readers (that I know about, anyway), I hope the ones I do have are enjoying the journey.
I know I am.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006; 9:06 p.m.
I had an idea for a review or two I could write after the hat trick I'm working on is finished up, but I'll probably wait until Netflix sends them to me before I decide whether or not I'll commit to reviews. I don't want to say I'll write about them, then watch them and not want to write the reviews. Even if it's a bad review, I like to have a little enthusiasm while writing. Take, for example, my reviews of Superman IV and Catwoman. I don't particularly writing bad reviews, but my complete and total disappointment in regards to those two movies really made it easy to make fun of them. And I have no problem making fun of a bad movie if it deserves it.
Out for now.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006; 8:32 p.m.
Why can I never think of any decent things to post about? Man, this is tougher than I thought. Eh, I'm sure I'll think of something. I've never let a little thing like writer's block slow me down before, have I? Of course not.
And I think I have something...
I got the first Wrestlemania from Netflix yesterday, thanks to the third review I had briefly being listed as a "short wait." (Don't fret, the three reviews will be coming soon, I promise.) I know it was 1985 and that it was the first one, but whose bright idea was it to include two jobber squashes on the biggest show of the year? And is it just me, or did the timekeeper get distracted for 15 seconds or so during that Bundy/Jones match? Or was he living in some kind of weird time warp? Because announcing that a 25-second match lasted only nine is a little odd.
But I guess everything has to start somewhere, so I can't really knock on the first Wrestlemania. Can I?
Monday, April 10, 2006; 12:17 p.m.
I hate it when I want to post, but can't think of anything to talk about. That just bugs me to no end. I don't know how some of my colleagues around this here Interweb manage to churn them out so regularly. How do you do it? I guess I'll just wing it, as is my wont.
Backlash is three weeks from yesterday, and my initial excitement is starting to cool off. It was probably just the whole buzz of actually holding the tickets in my hand. Now that I've had them for a little while, it's gone from "yay, I have the tickets" to "when is the 30th gonna get here already?". That whole week before the 30th is going to kill me, too. It'll be like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. And I just know it'll be like that when I buy the DVD of the show, just so I can watch and see if I can find myself in the audience. The whole "hooray, I'm on TV" novelty is something else, folks. I don't work well with anticipation, what can I say?
You know those stupid ringtone commercials that are all over late night television? I saw one last night advertising Larry The Cable Guy ringtones. Excuse me, but who in their right mind would want that? I weep for humanity.
I'm not exactly a fan of all those ringtone commercials anyway. I don't know what it is, but they annoy me so much. I don't even own a cell phone, making me part of the 0.1% of the population that doesn't own one. What's the big deal?
But there are some commercials out there that I do like, and those are the ads for the Silent Hill movie. It looks like there may finally be a movie that breaks the stereotype of bad/mediocre cinematic video game adaptations. And I know your mileage may vary, but it looks pretty darn scary too. Pyramid Head looks awesome as well. That dude is hardcore.
However, the movie I'm most looking forward to is Snakes on a Plane. Best movie title ever.
I'm not the biggest fan of the comic strip, but I'm starting to get addicted to the Boondocks cartoon on Adult Swim. I don't care much for the Huey character, but I love the supporting cast, especially Riley.
And that's all I've got. I started out with nothing to talk about, and I ended up touching on all kinds of random junk. Even if it was silly rambling for the most part, I still accomplished my main goal: I got one more post up. And that's all I really wanted out of this one.
So all in all, mission accomplished for today. Out for now.
Thursday, April 6, 2006; 9:46 p.m.
Saw Slither again this afternoon in Danville, and I stand by my mini-review from yesterday. It's still as funny and as icky as last time.
Got the chance to play a little pool after the movie, at a game room in Perryville I'd passed by a few times. Did a little better than I thought I would, actually. Plans will be made to do this again.
The third review in the hat trick will have to hold for a little longer, thanks to Netflix currently listing its availability as a "short wait." But I promise, faithful followers, that I'm going to get it done as soon as it comes in. As a journeyman in the field of amateur movie reviews, I'm rather adverse to letting my audience down. There might be delays or setbacks, but when I get that third one, it'll be up.
That's all the news that's fit to print. Out for now.
Wednesday, April 5, 2006; 10:21 p.m.
Caught the 7:30 show of Slither with some people I know from Frankfort. And now, here's thoughts.
The movie seems to be a quasi-remake of Night of the Creeps (kudos to those of you who've seen that movie), combined with the "body horror" style made popular by the likes of David Cronenberg. Slither's an unabashed horror/dark comedy B-movie, and it seems like the filmmakers realized that the movie could be considered silly and ran with it.
Slither is downright gross too, in terms of the amount of blood and guts depicted. Really, the effects are gloriously ugly. I don't really want to give away all that many spoilers, but if you've been disturbed by the trailers and television commercials, it's much more gross than that. So those of you who are squemish or have weak stomachs would do well to avoid Slither.
But I'll gladly give Slither a solid three and a half stars for being a fun, entertaining throwback to the silly horror movies of the '80s. I enjoyed it, and if you like movies like this, you might enjoy it too.
Out for now.
Tuesday, April 4, 2006; 6:42 p.m.
Oftentimes I somehow get the assumption that I just don't really have anything to post about. But while I was going through my archives, I noticed that I've been a posting machine this year. I'm not aiming for a Libby-esque streak of a post a day for a million years, but I do what I can.
It's also quite obvious that my posting habits have drastically improved. While I was going through the older posts adding titles, I noticed that there were quite a few months where I made as few as two or three posts. And there were even one or two occasions where I'd posted only once. How did I manage to make only one post a month? I can do a lot better than that. I mean, really, how hard is it to ramble about something for a few sentences a little more often than that? Shame on me.
I must say, though, that maintaining The Matt Sutton Experience is much more fun now than it was when I first set up shop in this tiny little corner of cyberspace. It might have taken me a couple of years to really hit my groove, but now I have something that I'm very proud of. My blog and my movie reviews are my babies, I can't help but to take pride in them.
Tuesday, April 4, 2006; 12:43 a.m.
Wrestlemania 22 was Sunday night, and sadly, I missed it. But I'm definitely going to buy the DVD, as I've made it a habit to buy Wrestlemania's DVD release every year. I've picked up the individual DVDs of 15 through 21, though I haven't had the chance to pick up one through 14. But once I come across the $150 to $200 it'd take to get them all, I totally will. I'm a completist, no matter what.
My personal favorite bit of news coming out of Wrestlemania is that Mickie James won the Women's Championship. Those of you I talk wrestling with know that she's currently one of my favorite wrestlers. I first ran across her when she was in TNA as a valet for Raven, using her old indy name "Alexis Laree." She didn't wrestle all that much, but I ended up becoming a fan primarily because I thought she was cute. (I'm just a man, after all.) She ended up getting hired by WWE and assigned to their OVW farm team here in Kentucky, and that's where I really grew to appreciate her. I mean, she was just awesome in the ring. If you can ever find a tape of one of her matches with Smackdown's Jillian Hall, check it out. There's one from sometime last year that's absolutely amazing, if you can find it. And getting to sit in the second row and watch her wrestle at an OVW show is one of my prouder moments as a wrestling fan.
I'm really happy that she got promoted to WWE, so a wider audience can see what I've been enjoying watching so much. Like Libby said over at her blog, the Single White Female angle with Trish Stratus has been pure gold. She's great in the ring and plays a great psycho, and putting the title on her totally makes this fan happy.
And that's all I've got. TTFN, dear readers.
Sunday, April 2, 2006; 9:35 p.m.
Just wrapped up writing the second of those three reviews. I'm going to start writing the third in a few days once I get it from Netflix, so we're in the home stretch. No set timetable on when the third one will be finished, but don't worry, it'll get done.
Sunday, April 2, 2006; 12:50 a.m.
Just got back from a concert put on by Nashville Star runner-up Miranda Lambert. I'm not really much of a country fan, but it was a fun show, though I probably would have enjoyed it more had I not been stuck sitting right next to the speakers. I'm not all the way deaf, but I'm almost there. My feet are sore, my back is in less than the best of shape, and I'm hoping that the dull ringing in my ears will go away after a good night's sleep.
And that's where I'm headed shortly.
Friday, March 31, 2006; 2:23 a.m.
After working away at it for three months (and six hours, 50 minutes, and 33 seconds of accumulated playing time), I finally beat Resident Evil 3. The complete and total nuclear annihilation of a city overrun with zombies and genetically engineered monsters has never looked so glorious.
There's a feature in the game where, at certain moments, you'll be presented with two options. These two options represent two different courses of action that can be taken in the particular situation, and the choice you make can effect certain cutscenes and other moments in the game. It's kinda like those Choose Your Own Adventure books. The final choice of the game presents you with two options: stomp the crap out of the wounded boss monster with a .44 Magnum, or leave it to die a slow and painful death (until the city gets nuked, that is). Guess which one I chose. Yeah, I could have shown a little mercy and left it there, but where's the satisfaction in that? This thing followed me all over town trying to rearrange my face in a violent fashion, so you'd better believe that it's going to get some major comeuppance.
That's one more conquest I can add to my survival horror résumé. Now I just need to acquire Code Veronica, and I'll show that game who's boss too.
Thursday, March 30, 2006; 12:01 p.m.
You know what can be really draining? I spent a good three or four hours last night adding titles to all of my posts throughout forty-one months of archives. I probably didn't have to, I probably didn't even really need to, but I figured, "Eh, what the heck." And boy, was it tough thinking of titles for all 320+ posts. But what can I say, I'm dedicated to my craft. Even if I had to repeat and recycle a few, I got 'em all done. I'm just trying it out for now, to see how I like it. It might take me some getting used to, but if I decide to keep the titles around permanently, I'll have to get used to it.
Meanwhile, I've been chipping away at the three reviews I said I was doing some time back. I finished up the first one last week, and the second one is coming along quite nicely, thank you for asking. It might be a while before I get all three posted, though. I've been putting so much effort into the writing that I've decided to slow down a little before I totally burn myself out. I don't want to be all work and no play while writing them. That's a big reason why I started Sutton At The Movies: to not only inform you, the reader, of my own personal opinions towards a particular movie, but to enjoy myself while doing it. My best reviews (in terms of writing, not rating) have always been the ones that I had fun writing, because the words seemed to come much easier.
They might not get posted for another few weeks, but those three reviews will be coming sooner or later. Like I said earlier, I'm dedicated to my craft.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006; 10:52 p.m.
Here I was working on a perfectly good post when El Hámster Magnífico had to go and take another break, causing me to lose the post. You're totally going to get replaced one day, Hammy.
Moving on, I mainly wanted to post one more followup on those Backlash tickets. I'm sure you guys are starting to get tired of hearing about it, so I'll make it quick. The tickets arrived via UPS around 3:00 this afternoon, and now the countdown to April 30th has officially begun. I'll update you in about a month after the show.
I had a few other things I was planning on talking about, but I totally forgot what they were after the crash. Way to go, Hammy, you lazy jerk. If I remember what those things are, I'll post again. Out.
Monday, March 27, 2006; 6:45 p.m.
And now for another follow-up.
After making a few phone calls and putting the powers that be on the hunt, I discovered that the closest Ticketmaster retailer no longer existed, despite still being listed on Ticketmaster's website. Despite the wild goose chase, the story does have a happy ending. I did what I probably should have done in the first place and placed my order online, and my tickets should arrive via UPS in about two days or so. The seats are in the sixth row of Section 20, and if you're interested, you can see how the seats line up with the rest of the arena by checking out this seating chart, or you can check out what my view of the action will be by clicking here.
And oddly enough, the seats are only one section over from where I sat at the very first WWE event I ever went to, all the way back the summer of 1998. In Section 21 at my first house show to Section 20 at my first televised show... It's the circle of life, folks.
Sunday, March 26, 2006; 6:12 p.m.
If you're a regular follower of the blog, you might remember a post I made around three or four weeks ago concering a pay-per-view event that WWE would be running here in Kentucky next month. As a follow-up to that, I wanted to mention that there's a definite possibility that I'll be attending. The tickets went on sale yesterday, and after a discussion with the powers that be around here, I might just get to go. The seats aren't going to be ringside ones (since I don't have $175 to throw around), and I doubt they'll even be the second best seats (since I don't have $75 to throw around). I'm hoping that I'll at least be able to get tickets somewhere within in the $50 range, which would land me in the green seats on this seating chart. And even if I end up with seats that aren't all that great, it's my belief that crappy seats are better than no seats.
Keep in mind that I'll have to talk to my regular running buddies before anything is finalized, and I don't want to say I'm going until I'm holding the tickets in my hand. But there's definitely a chance, and I'm totally hoping that I'll be able to make it. And if I don't, I could always buy the pay-per-view broadcast. I'd rather be there in person, but I'll take what I can get.
Friday, March 24, 2006; 12:22 p.m.
In order to break up the monotony of my complaining, I found a fun little news report that you Simpsons fans are going to enjoy. According to Yahoo! News, Sunday's episode of The Simpsons is going to feature the live-action depiction of the show's opening that I posted a couple of weeks ago. And that's pretty rockin'.
Thursday, March 23, 2006; 11:26 p.m.
You've all heard of that social networking site MySpace, right? I really hate it sometimes. Most of you know that my computer is Stone Age technology, and I often joke that it's operated by a hamster in a little wheel (a hamster that I've since named "El Hámster Magnífico"). And good ol' El Hámster Magnífico decided he was going to take a cigarette break when I tried to open up more than one My Space profile at a time. I know El Hámster Magnífico can't help being slow (since that happens in old age), but I hear the quagmire that is MySpace is super-slow even for people with state-of-the-art computers. Come on, MySpace. I don't really need to see fifty million profiles with a zillion little icons, three music videos, a cute little cursor icon, and a song. It doesn't help those of us who aren't technologically privileged. So in short: Keep it simple, you goshdarn you-know-whaties!
Man, three angry rants in a row. I need to think of something happy to talk about for a change.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006; 5:45 p.m.
I ranted about my dislike for edited-for-TV movies on Saturday, but there's something that's been bugging me a lot more lately: Larry the Cable Guy.
I've seen the commercial for his new movie, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, a zillion times over the last week or so, and it looks to be a case of the only funny jokes in the movie getting stuck into the commercial. I haven't seen the movie, so I can't really judge it. But if it's anything like Larry's stand-up act, then it'll be a sure-fire Razzie nominee. And if he's a "cable guy," why is he the health inspector? He already has a job. I guess they didn't want to associate it with that Jim Carrey movie The Cable Guy, I don't know.
For those of you who've had the good fortune to never hear of this loser, Larry the Cable Guy is the stage name of Dan Whitney, a member of the "Blue Collar Comedy" troupe. His gimmick is that he's a stereotypical redneck turned up to eleven, to the point that many of his jokes could come across as being racist and homophobic. The rest of his act involves either fart jokes or jokes about non-existent members of his family. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with southern humor. I'm actually a fan Larry's three Blue Collar colleagues, Bill Engvall, Ron White, and Jeff Foxworthy. But what seperates Larry from the other three is the fact that I just don't think he's very funny. Very rarely does he get any real laughs from me personally, as most of the time the only laughing I do is at how lame the majority of his jokes are.
If you like Larry, more power to you. Like everything, your mileage may vary. But I'll stick to the other Blue Collars, Dane Cook, and the late great Mitch Hedberg, thank you very much.
Saturday, March 18, 2006; 10:56 p.m.
So I was watching part of Freddy vs. Jason on the Sci-Fi Channel tonight, even though I've seen it quite a few times and I bought the DVD the day it came out. But that's beside the point. Anyway, I was watching Freddy vs. Jason, and I'm really starting to hate movies edited for television. It's so obvious, and it takes me right out of the movie. And it hurts the performances somewhat, too. I'll admit that the performances in Freddy vs. Jason were less than Oscar worthy, but still. Give a guy a break. Is it so wrong to want unedited violence and profanity on prime time TV? Daytime soap operas say pretty much everything but the seven dirty words, but a slasher movie can't? I'm calling shenanigans on this crap.
I guess the moral of the story is that I should either suck it up and get over it, or quit watching movies that have been edited for television. One of the two.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006; 6:05 p.m.
Okay, I've finished up that little side-project. After a conversation with Libby the other day, and remembering a thread with a similar topic posted some time ago at a message board I hang out at on occasion, I decided to put together a list of actors that I would choose to play in movie versions of the Resident Evil games. None of that non-canon Milla Jovovich stuff, but movies that are more faithful to their source material. I did the six main chapters of the storyline, and left out any characters that are too minor to deserve any real attention. Some unknown actor can play those guys. But enough jibber-jabber, let's get to the lists.
Resident Evil Zero:
Resident Evil 2:
Resident Evil 3: Nemesis:
Resident Evil: Code Veronica:
Resident Evil 4:
So that's that. Any comments, complaints, questions, and the like can be sent to the usual places. So now that that's out of the way, I have plenty of room to work on my next projects: those reviews I mentioned on Friday. I'm aiming to keep the names of those reviews a surprise until I get them posted, so start the guessing games now. Or don't start the guessing games, what do I care.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006; 3:30 a.m.
In addition to the three reviews I mentioned last week, I've got another little side-project I'm putting some effort into. Some of you already know what it is (I'm looking at you, Libby), but I'm keeping it under wraps for the most part until I can get everything in order. You may or may not find the project a little lame or silly, and it probably is, but I'm having fun putting it together. And if it's not fun, we here at The Matt Sutton Experience don't have much use for it. There's some tiny little details that I need to work out, but I'm almost done. But those tiny little details are gonna bug me to death until I get them taken care of, I just know it. I don't know when I'll get them figured out, so there's no set target date for the project. So don't let the suspense kill you, okay?
And if you were wondering how my viewing of the original Hills Have Eyes fared, I'll gladly tell you. It's not bad at all, to be honest. Yeah, it's rough around the edges and the acting isn't all that great, but that's what makes low-budget horror movies from the '70s so charming. It's totally worth your time if you like movies from that era, so I give it a most definite recommendation. I'll probably do a review of it sometime within the next few months, whenever the DVD of the remake comes out. Just so I can do them both at the same time, you know?
That's all the news that's fit to print for now. So until next time, faithful readers, excelsior.
Sunday, March 12, 2006; 9:07 p.m.
Caught another showing of The Hills Have Eyes, and I stand by my mini-review from the other day. It's just as scary the second time around as it was the first time. So if you've been thinking of seeing it, I recommend doing so. I also picked up the DVD of the original Hills Have Eyes after the movie, but I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Like I said earlier, I've seen bits and pieces of it in the past, but haven't seen it from start to finish all the way through before. I've heard good things though, so I'm looking forward to it. I'll probably end up watching it later tonight, after I wrap up an episode or two of Angel that I was planning on watching sometime today. But whether I get to it tonight or some other time, I'm definitely going to watch it sooner or later, for sure.
Out for now.
Saturday, March 11, 2006; 1:43 a.m.
Man, today was a long day. When all the varying things I did today is combined with the silliness of the day, it actually reminded me of my college days. This afternoon, I went with my buddy Mo to pick up some concert tickets for him and someone he knows (the tickets are to see country singer Miranda Lambert, for those of you who care), then caught the second half of Kentucky's come-from-behind win against Alabama in the SEC tournament. Wrapping up the day, myself, Mo, and some people he works with stopped by the Wendy's in Bardstown before catching the 10:00 showing of The Hills Have Eyes. I just got home fifteen minutes ago, so it was a long night too.
For those of you wondering how I felt about The Hills Have Eyes, I'll tell you. The movie is very violent, very demented, and very insane. I've only seen bits and pieces of Wes Craven's original 1977 version of The Hills Have Eyes, but this remake is unrelentingly vicious. If all the violence I saw made it into the R-rated theatrical version, I'm sure that the unrated version that will no doubt be released on DVD is even more brutal. There's two rapes (or something very bizarre that looks a lot like it, anyway), violence involving guns, an axe, a baseball bat, and fire, violence committed by and against animals, and the horrifically disfigured cannibalistic villains threating to eat a baby. Yeah, this movie is totally classy. The movie is nothing short of unsettling and borderline disturbing, and it's sporting a mean streak all the way down to its black core. So in short, those of you with weak constitutions or an aversion to depravity in horror cinema, you might want to skip it.
However, the movie is also convincingly acted, and the effects by KNB EFX are outstanding. It's also brilliantly directed by French auteur Alexandre Aja, who previously directed High Tension and makes his American feature film debut with this movie. If any compliment can be given to The Hills Have Eyes, it's that Aja is a masterful director, and if the movie is a hit, it could open the door for him to become - and this is a pretty big statement - the next Wes Craven. While he utilizes a somewhat annoying, quickly edited "shaky cam" format of filmmaking in one key scene, everything else is well done. And because it is both well made and outright freaky, I'll give The Hills Have Eyes three and a half stars, pushing towards four.
And that's pretty much all I have for now. Out.
Friday, March 10, 2006; 11:44 a.m.
Okay, so I've been meaning to post, but I just can't think of anything to talk about. But I want to post, and by God, I'm gonna think of something wacky!
I was going through my DVD collection recently, and there are so many I haven't watched in the longest time. There's a handful I haven't watched since I bought them, believe it or not. I should get around to dusting them off sometime. I mean, they're not doing me any real good sitting there, are they?
You know what sucks about being a night owl? There's hardly anything good on TV at 4:00 in the morning. Maybe that's where delving into my DVD collection will come in handy.
Am I the only one who's seen that Juicy Fruit commercial with the giant ant? I hate bugs as it is, and that commercial doesn't help me out at all.
I've been trying to get into Degrassi: The Next Generation lately, but I'm finding it rather hard to follow along. It doesn't help that I'm jumping in when the show is already into its fourth or fifth season. But what else bothers me is that most of the episodes I've seen lately seem to be reruns. There's been a few episodes that I've seen more than once (or twice). Really, there's only so many times I can see the bipolar kid trash a hotel room and beat up his dad, the skinny blonde girl get gonnorhea because of her newfound promiscuity, or the Hispanic girl doing her own version of Girls Gone Wild before I start to lose interest.
Going back to my fear of bugs for a moment, I've been playing some Resident Evil 3 lately, and there's a section I just can't bring myself to make it through. Why? There's at least two or three giant man-sized spiders hanging from the walls of this one room, and I absolutely loathe spiders. Even the video game kind, I hate. Ugh, why must Resident Evil torture me so? I thought we were friends, Capcom. What happened to us?
And continuing on the topic of survival horror games, do you know what movie would make a good survival horror game? 28 Days Later. I know the movie is three years old, but age didn't stop anyone from making games based on Scarface or The Godfather. If they did it in the style of a Resident Evil game, it could be the coolest game ever. And it just struck me that a Shaun of the Dead game would be really cool too. They could make it like a Grand Theft Auto game, where you run around the streets of London bashing zombies with a cricket bat, or throwing vinyl records at them like Frisbees. Though knowing my luck, they'd only make 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead games for only the PlayStation and Xbox and I'd have to miss out, because I'm the only person on Earth that owns Nintendo consoles and nothing else.
For those of you interested (and those of you still following along after all of my babbling), I have two or three new movies I plan on reviewing if everything turns out okay. And by "okay," I mean "if Netflix sends them to me on schedule." I don't want to name the movies I plan on writing yet, but I'll be working on a theme. And with luck, they'll be up sometime early next month. Looking over my DVD collection, I see a few movies that I'd like to review, but I just have to find the motivation. But they're not gonna review themselves, are they?
And that's all I've got for now. I'll probably have something else to say later, I'm not sure. Sutton out.
Tuesday, March 7, 2006; 12:18 a.m.
This is awesome.
Sunday, March 05, 2006; 11:31 p.m
So those are all the Oscar winners that matter.
King Kong did win three awards for sound design and visual effects, but who cares about all of that technical stuff? And what was supposed to be the year of the gay cowboy turned out to be just a bunch of hype.
But there's your winners, like 'em or not.
Sunday, March 5, 2006; 6:34 p.m.
The "winners" of the Golden Raspberry Awards have been announced. And since I promised the winners, here you go.
The Oscar winners will be up tomorrow or thereabouts. Something like that.
Sunday, March 5, 2006; 1:14 p.m.
Can you spare a dime for a fellow American who's down on his luck?
I did a little nosing around the Interweb the last few days, and discovered that WWE is running a pay-per-view event at Rupp Arena in Lexington on April 30th. I couldn't find any ticket prices posted anywhere, but I'm going to assume that the good seats will be closer to $50 or $60. Maybe I'll be able to come across that kind of scratch by the time they go on sale (at least, I hope so). If not, I can always try to scrounge up the money for the TV broadcast. Because I just can't say no to pro wrestling at Rupp Arena.
Other than all that, there hasn't really been all that much going on lately. Life moves pretty slowly around here, unfortunately. But I've never let that stop me before, have I? Of course not. I might be back later, depending on if I can think of anything worth saying. If not, eh, I'll probably still be back later. I run this show, I can do what I please with it.
Friday, February 24, 2006; 8:18 p.m.
Don't really have a whole lot to talk about, since not a whole lot has been going on lately. When something happens, you guys will know about it. But I do have something to share: one more new review! I got Cry Wolf from Netflix yesterday, and my brand spankin' new review of it is up here. So check it out, won't you? Because that would be super.
Monday, February 20, 2006; 5:12 a.m.
For all three of my readers out there that care, I have a new review up at "Sutton At The Movies." Via the wonder that is Netflix, I've finally wrapped up my review of the horror sequel Saw 2. And you can check out my review of the original Saw while you're at it.
But be warned: In setting up the plot of Saw 2, I had to spoil a part of the original Saw's twist ending. So that review will be assuming that you've at least seen the first movie. My advice to you is to go rent them both, then come back and and read the reviews. Or you could just read them anyway, if you don't care about spoilers. Okay? Okay. Now that that's been taken care of, I shall bid you a fond adieu for now, until I can think of something more creative to talk about.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006; 10:19 p.m.
You'd figure the people running the movie theaters around here would know me by name. I went to see Harrison Ford's new movie Firewall tonight, and it's really really good. Ford is awesome as always, and Paul Bettany is a great villain. Bettany is rumored to be the leading candidate for the Joker role in the Batman Begins sequel, and if he gets the role, I think he'd be a good decision. I'm still pulling for Crispin Glover as Joker, but I'm not a Hollywood casting director, so what do I know. Anyway, Firewall is a well-made, well-acted movie, and I'm going to give it a solid four stars.
And that's all I've got for now. Sutton out.
Friday, February 10, 2006; 10:16 p.m.
Just got home from a showing of Final Destination 3. The deaths are a lot more shocking and surprising, and the use of a couple of songs really makes the movie just as much a dark comedy as it is a horror movie. And as a fan of the first two Final Destination movies, I thought part three was my favorite of the trilogy. My quick judgment call is that somewhere between three and a half and four stars, so I'll give it 3.75 stars and a definite thumbs-up. Check it out.
Friday, February 10, 2006; 4:07 a.m.
I hope everyone enjoyed my last review, because I have a new one for you to check out. The new S@TM addition is Doom, starring "Worst Actor" Razzie nominee The Rock. So check out the review, will you?
If things work well, I should have another review up in a week or two, but I can't be for certain. But in any event, enjoy the Doom review, and I'll see you next time. Sutton out.
Saturday, February 4, 2006; 10:21 p.m.
I just returned from seeing When A Stranger Calls, and frankly, it was quite an experience. The projector was off-balance numerous times (which ended up swapping the top and bottom halves of the screen), and there was one point near the end where the movie just stopped for absolutely no reason. So we got a ten-minute intermission for no reason, while half the audience left to complain and ask for refunds.
So enough about the crappy theater, let's talk about the movie itself. The movie is ostensibly a remake of the 1979 horror film starring Carol Kane, yet it takes the film's legendary first act and stretches it over a 90-minute frame. The remake would have made for a wonderful short film, but it starts to wear itself thin as it tries to squeeze in every "mysterious killer on the loose" cliché it can. And even if the big twist wasn't given away in all the commercials and advertisements, it would still be painfully obvious that the killer is in the house the whole time. Lead actress Camilla Belle is flat, running a gamut of emotions ranging from A to B while the movie itself relies too much on false scares. There are a handful of genuinely scary moments in the movie, while the stranger in question (whose over-the-phone voice belongs to Lance Henriksen) does manage to be quite creepy at times. But all in all, I'm going to give it a thumbs-in-the-middle with three stars. It's not horrible, but it's not going to set the world on fire either. And with that ending, I bet they're going to remake the second two-thirds of When A Stranger Calls, and release it as When A Stranger Calls Back. I would.
Friday, February 3, 2006; 6:17 p.m.
After getting it via Netflix and recieving an offhanded request from Libby, I've got my first review of February up at Sutton At The Movies. The new review is for Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. Read and enjoy.
Thursday, February 2, 2006; 9:01 p.m.
Another episode of Smallville, and another post featuring my Smallville thoughts. Read up, ok?
So that's all for this week's "Sutton Watches Smallville." I'm off to watch My Name Is Earl, so I'll be around same Super-time, same Super-blog.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006; 5:54 p.m.
The nominations for both the Acadamy Awards and the Golden Raspberry Awards have been announced, and since it's become a trend here at the Matt Sutton Experience, I'm gonna post those nominations for you, my faithful readers, to check them out.
First, the Oscars...
Best Supporting Actor:
Best Supporting Actress:
Best Animated Feature Film:
Best Music (score):
Best Music (song):
Best Screenplay (adapted):
Best Screenplay (original):
There's a bunch of other awards in there that nobody cares about, like costume design and editing and crap like that. If you want to know those nominees, go to the Academy Awards website. And now, the Razzie nominations...
Worst Supporting Actor:
Worst Supporting Actress:
Worst On-Screen Couple:
Worst Remake or Sequel:
Most Tiresome Tabloid Target:
So there you are. The results will be announced in March, so check back here (or your favorite news website) then. And am I the only one who hasn't seen (or even heard of) 99.9% of the movies nominated? Most of them played nowhere near here, and there's no way I'm fighting Louisville traffic to see a movie about gay cowboys that can't quit one another. I've also noticed that comedies always get the shaft at the Oscars too. Why the hate, Oscar? Does a movie have to be hoity-toity pretentious crap to get your attention? Is that how you roll, Oscar? And why the snubbing of King Kong? Just because it's way too long and gets kinda boring in the middle doesn't mean it's any less good than movies nobody has seen like Crash or Good Night, And Good Luck. Stupid spiteful Oscar.
Thursday, January 26, 2006; 9:01 p.m.
So as mentioned earlier, here I am with my thoughts on tonight's episode of Smallville. I'm watching the episode as I type this, so that should answer any questions you may have.
What a depressing, upsetting episode. They went back on the whole "Lana learns Clark's secret" promise (wasting five years of buildup in the process) and they killed one of my favorite characters, and it's all Clark's fault. I hope that next week's episode, he realizes that. Because it is.
Not much is going on in la tierra de Sutton, so I don't really have a lot to talk about. But I do, dear readers, have a new review for you to read. The review is George Romero's fourth zombie movie, Land of the Dead. And with that, it puts me at five new reviews this month. That's what I like to call "progress," folks.
I might be back later with Smallville thoughts. Tonight is the big 100th episode, and a major character is gonna die. So anyway, that's all for now. Check out the review, and thanks for reading.
Another weekend, another trip to the cineplex. I caught the 10:00 showing of Underworld: Evolution tonight, and considering I haven't seen the original Underworld yet, I didn't really understand the majority of the plot. There were a heavy amount of references to the events of the first movie, so if you go into the sequel without seeing it, you're probably going to be as confused as I was. From what I could discern, the heroine (as portrayed by the ever-lovely Kate Beckinsale) has teamed up with a heroic half-vampire/half-werewolf hybrid to stop a powerful vampiric villain from using his equally powerful werewolf brother to create an army of evil werevamp hybrids. Or something like that, I don't know for sure.
In any event, since I had no clue what was going on with the plot, I spent most of my time enjoying the action. And oh boy, is there action. Broken necks, jaws (and heads) ripped off, a brawl in the back of a moving truck, monsters getting thrown into whirring helicopter blades, and lots and lots of gunfire. And because I enjoyed myself watching it, I'll give Underworld: Evolution three and a half stars. I might promote it to four once I see the first Underworld, but that's the rating I'm going with now.
I was also quite intrigued by the trailers in front of Underworld: Evolution. The trailer for the remake of When A Stranger Calls makes no sense to me, because they give away the big twist right there in the trailer. Does that make any sense to anybody else? And then there was the trailer for Silent Hill, the cinematic adaptation of the video game. I haven't played any of the games, but the movie looks absolutely terrifying, so I'll definitely be in line to see it. After that, there was the trailer for X-Men 3, and I'm looking forward to that one as well. Sure, there might be 3000 people in the cast, but if War & Peace can manage, so can X-Men 3. And wrapping up the trailers was one for a new movie starring Milla Jovovich, titled Ultraviolet. Oh man, Ultraviolet looks like a big sweaty pile of monkey poop. It just doesn't look good at all.
Speaking of monkey poop, I'm currently watching King Kong Lives (the sequel to the 1976 remake) on television. I've seen better "man in a suit" effects in even the worst Godzilla movies. You'd figure that by 1986, they could have made some advancements in makeup design. I mean, if George Lucas can make Chewbacca look believable, then some genius could have slapped together a better King Kong outfit. The movie is so horrible, it's almost offensive. I want to punch this movie in its face.
And that's the end of this story. Sutton out.
There's not a whole lot going on to talk about, but I do have a new review for you to read. It's last year's underappreciated ghost story Dark Water, and I hope you enjoy it.
I've got another review for you Sutton At The Movies fans to peruse: the 2005 movie adaptation of The Fantastic Four. And you can check out my review of the rare 1994 Fantastic Four movie by clicking here too. Check 'em out, will you?
Thanks to the wonder that is Netflix, I finally got around to seeing the director's cut of Donnie Darko today. I haven't seen the original theatrical cut, but if it's anything like the director's cut, then it's one trippy movie. Ever see one of those movies where you know you're watching a good movie, despite having no clue what was happening at any given time? That's what Donnie Darko was to me. It's kinda hard to follow the first (and even second) time through, but things all start to make a modicum of sense after repeated viewings. But don't get me wrong, it's a very well-directed, well-acted movie. Jake Gyllenhaal is awesome, and if there's any reason to watch Donnie Darko at all, it's for his performance. My only real complaint with the cast is that neither Drew Barrymore nor her character really seem like they belong in the movie. I'm not going to imply that she stuck herself in the movie with her power as executive producer (she totally didn't do that with the Charlie's Angels movies, either), but the character doesn't really contribute much of anything, outside of giving director Richard Kelly a reason to stick clips of Watership Down in the movie. But in any regard, Donnie Darko is one of those movies that you'll probably like if you enjoy movies that mess with your head. And because it still managed to be entertaining in spite of being totally confusing, I'll give it four stars. It's not a bad movie at all, it's just... well... different.
And that's all I've got for now. Sutton out.
Friday, January 13, 2006; 11:59 p.m.
I hope everyone had a happy Friday the 13th, because I know I did.
Continuing on a theme, I took in another film tonight, this time being Glory Road. The story of the Texas Western basketball team that started five black players against the all-white Kentucky team in the 1966 NCAA championship game, the movie is essentially the result of changing Remember The Titans from a football movie to a basketball movie. As can be expected, there are a number of historical inaccuracies, but the majority of them can be excused for the sake of drama. Josh Lucas, who plays coach Don Haskins, is good, and the rest of the cast (made up of people I've never heard of, with the exceptions of former Smallville co-star Sam Jones as one of Texas Western's players, Tatyana Ali from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air as a player's girlfriend, and Jon Voight as Kentucky coach Adolph Rupp) is entertaining. I did like the movie and thought it was entertaining, so I'll give it four stars. Good enough for me.
First off, I want to send out a big hello to a new reader of the blog, my good friend Jenny. Hi, Jenny!
Caught both Hostel (again) and The Ringer tonight. You can scroll down for my thoughts about Hostel, so I'll talk about The Ringer. It kinda fell off the radar a few weeks ago since it wasn't all that successful, but there are quite a few moments that I thought were absolutely hysterical. There was one scene that had me fighting for breath because I was laughing so hard, and a particular line of dialogue that myself and my ragtag group of friends continued to quote for the rest of the night ("wait, when the F did we get ice cream?!"). Three and a half stars for The Ringer.
Finally, after over 18 hours of total gameplay, I finally defeated Resident Evil 4. And I'm quite happy with the final result, too. Hooray for me. :)
And that's all for now. Sutton out.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006; 9:32 p.m.
Made a wee bit of progress on Resident Evil 4 today. Got past the bulldozer section, only to end up getting into a knife fight, then having to dodge lasers right out of the first Resident Evil movie. The lasers were cool, but that knife fight has to be my favorite part of the game so far. It's just too awesome.
In between rounds of Resident Evil 4, I've been watching a few episodes of the first season of Angel (via the box set I got for $20 at Wal-Mart after Christmas). I've only watched four episodes, but they were all good ones. I love the Spike episode, but what really got me were those two Faith episodes at the end of the season are doozys. Now that Joss Whedon isn't doing anything but movies based on Firefly and that Tru Calling has been cancelled, maybe Whedon and Eliza Dushku could get together and do Faith, The Vampire Slayer. I'd watch that show every week.
And that's all I've got. Sutton out.
So I just got back from seeing Hostel, and, well, it's different.
I think it's fitting that Takashi Miike has a cameo in the movie, because Hostel owes a lot to Miike's Audition in terms of style and storytelling. Yeah, there's no middle-aged Japanese man looking for a new wife in Hostel, but both films involve someone falling deeper and deeper into a world they eventually regret getting involved with. Though while Audition gives the appearance of a romance movie in its early going, Hostel comes across as a teen sex comedy. Honestly, until the movie finally hits its groove, the movie's kinda boring. The three lead characters are flat and one-dimensional, existing only to move from one sexual conquest to another. But hey, they can't all be winners. Once things all go to Hell towards the end of the movie, however, things definitely tend to pick up. While I've seen movies that are far more violent (The Passion of the Christ, for example), Hostel is still most certainly violent and disturbing. There are quite a few moments where I was actually covering my eyes, believe it or not. The performances from the cast are unmemorable, but Eli Roth's outstanding direction and the movie's wild finale make up for it, so I'll give Hostel three and a half stars. Not bad, if you can handle violent movies.
I've also concluded that I've grown numb to on-screen nudity in films. The first half of Hostel has so much nudity that I could have sworn the projectionist had started rolling a porno film instead. After a while, I just wanted to throw up my hands and say, "Okay, I think I've finally seen all the naked women I need to see." Thanks a lot, Eli Roth. Jerk.
In other news, I've finally made some headway in Resident Evil 4. I made it past those Thwompy things, past two 15-foot-tall trolls, past the creepy little midget that turns into a nasty giant tentacle monster, and past two nasty buggers called the Regenerator and the Iron Maiden, but now I'm stuck again. I'm on this bulldozer tearing my way to freedom, but thanks to a rediculously low amount of decent ammo and a general lack of knowledge in what I'm doing, I keep getting ran over by a giant flaming truck. But I'm gonna figure it out. I always do.
And that, my friends, is all I've got for now. Out.
A new post, a new review. This time, it's May, a movie that you may or may not have heard of. But check out the review, then go rent the movie. Or rent the movie, then check out the review. Either way works.
Resident Evil 4 has really been kicking my butt lately. I'm somewhere around the middle of the game, stuck in a cave full of giant mosquitos that spit acid. They're bad enough when there's only two or three of them and they're invisible, but when there's a giant pack of them in a narrow cave, they're a pain in the neck. And then when I finally get past the giant bugs, I end up getting squashed by one of those huge Thwomp things from the Super Mario Brothers games. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, those things. I hate those things. I'll make it past them one of these days, however. You better believe I'll persevere. And I still have to get around to playing Resident Evil 3 too! That's next on my agenda of video games to conquer.
And that's all the news fit to print. Sutton out.
Sunday, January 1, 2006; 11:13 p.m.
After reading Libby's list of her personal top five movies for 2005, I had the idea to reprise something I did at the end of 2004. So I hope you - yes, you - are ready for the second annual "Sutton At The Movies" Achievement Awards. These are pretty much random awards that I hand out to the cinematic adventures I took in 2005. If you think a movie should have been represented here, either I thought something else was better, or I just didn't see it.
Just for saying's sake, I'd have given High Tension the Best Horror Movie award, but since it was technically first released in 2003, I decided it'd be ineligible. Sue me. But those are the awards, like them or not.
Sunday, January 1, 2006; 1:01 p.m.
Welcome to 2006, and to celebrate, I've got a new review for Sutton At The Movies. The new review, up for your reading pleasure, is the movie adaptation of The Dukes of Hazzard. Check it out, won't you?
Sunday, January 1, 2006; 12:00 a.m.
Happy freaking New Year!
I figure now is as good a time as any to unveil what I refer to as my "New Hotness." I've decided to make the move over to Blogger, and you can get there at this link. My Tripod blog will still stay open, because it still hosts Sutton At The Movies. Plus I've had it since 2001, so there's a little sentimental value. You don't really have to update your links and bookmarks if you don't want to, but the New Hotness is going to be the primary home for the Matt Sutton Experience. So check it out, if you will.
Anyway, that's enough of that. While I'm here, I'd like to thank the following sponsors for their continued support:
Kudo, the Furious Five, and all those at F.O.E.T.
The Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense
Wolfram & Hart, Attorneys At Law
Xavier's School For The Gifted
Dingoes Ate My Baby
The Boar's Nest
The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad
Once again, Happy New Year. Sutton out.