THE 2009 ARCHIVES

THE 2009 ARCHIVES
A Year In The Life of Matt Sutton

Monday, November 2, 2009; 3:21 p.m.

It was eight years ago today that something special was born. Created from the simple intentions of ripping off someone else's idea, it has spent the better part of this decade taking up space and resources from this vast series of tubes we call the Internet. That creation, loved by none but its faithful originator, has become a staple of websites that people accidentally stumble upon when doing random Google searches.

You know what, to hell with the grand introduction. I'm talking about the MSX. But you figured that, right?

So yeah, today is the eighth birthday of the blog you are currently reading. I can't believe I've kept this goofy little thing going for that long, especially since nobody but myself and my parents read it. But it's still around, and it's entering its eighth year today. I'm as surprised as you probably are.

But while today is a day for the (non-existent) devoted followers of the MSX to party, it's also kind of a bummer. I've arrived at my self-imposed deadline, and it's time to announce the closing of the "original Experience," the old-school Tripod version of the MSX. The Tripod version is where this blog got its start, and since I made the move to Blogger a couple of years ago, I've used it as a simulcast for Blogger and as a host for my movie reviews. But with the unbelievably negligible amount of free space I have left on Tripod, and considering what today is, I think it's time to shut off the lights on the Tripod version. After eight years and somewhere in the neighborhood of 880 posts, the original Experience is now closed. It'll remain up as sort of a museum, but there will be no more new content coming from it.

And I'm suddenly reminded that it's time for the big unveiling I promised oh so long ago: the Sutton at the Movies blog! I've been keeping this under my hat for sometime, but now is the perfect opportunity for it to make its public debut. So when you've finished celebrating the MSX's birthday, head on over to the S@TM blog if you so desire.

So happy birthday, MSX, and rest in peace, Tripod MSX. I still can't believe I've been up to this for nearly a decade.

Saturday, October 31, 2009; 9:43 p.m.

The calendar says that it's October 31st, so you know what that means: it's time for free candy and girls dressing really slutty and not being judged for it. Yes, good friends, it's Halloween, the spookiest day of the year.

This year's Halloween was a lot of fun for me. I didn't get to dress up or go to a party, but I did spend a few hours handing out candy and having a great time doing it. Halloween is all about having fun, so I can't complain.

But outside of that, there hasn't really been a lot going on worth talking about. So I'm going to wrap this up here. you dedicated readers should come back on Monday, since I have a pretty big announcement to make. But happy Halloween, everybody. Don't overdose on all the candy, okay?

Saturday, October 24, 2009; 9:19 p.m.

As I said last night, I had plans to see Saw VI this afternoon. We got to the theater five minutes before the movie started due to some hangups around here, but outside of that, those plans went off without a hitch.

But enough about that, let's get to the movie itself. To be honest, I couldn't remember too much about it when I first sat down to write this post. But it's kinda hard to pay attention to a movie when you're stuck sitting near to a group of people who just won't shut up no matter how often you shush them. Know what I mean?

Judging by what I remember about it, the movie wasn't too bad at all. The Saw sequels are all kinda give or take, especially since a lot of them raise questions that won't be answered until one of the future sequels. But Saw VI actually goes out of its way to fill in a lot of the plot holes introduced in the first five movies. It does leave a few dangling threads out there that will be up for debate among fans (until Saw VII comes out next year and starts resolving them all, that is), but for the most part, it does a decent enough job of expanding upon what the first five movies had set up. So it's got that going for it.

It's actually pretty well-written, and the acting is top notch too. I also applaud director Kevin Greutert for making the movie in a style different from the other movies in the series. All of the Saw movies have the same kind of look to them, but Greutert changes things up, and Saw VI is all the better for it. And as for the traps, which are pretty much the big reason any casual horror fan goes to see a Saw movie anymore, are each very cool in their own ways.

On the whole, Saw VI is a perfectly acceptable sequel. It's one of the stronger movies in the franchise, in my humble opinion. There's plenty to like if you're a super-devoted Saw fan. So on the patent pending Five-Star Sutton Scale, I'm going to give it a solid three and a half stars. And with the seventh movie in the series planned for this time next year, it's time to wait and see just how they'll follow up on this one's ending.

Friday, October 23, 2009; 10:08 p.m.

We've been doing some remodeling on my house lately, so my daily routine has been kinda weird. But I've still tried to keep some sense of normalcy. So today I figured I'd do what I like doing on most weekends: go out to the movies.

While I definitely want to see Saw VI, I've actually got plans to see that tomorrow. Instead, I headed out tonight to see Paranormal Activity. I had no clue it would even be playing around here, since I didn't see either of the theaters I usually go to listed on the movie's website. But I got word that one of them would be showing it, so I had to go check it out.

So just what did I think? I thought it was great. I went in thinking it wouldn't be able to live up to all the hype it's been getting lately. But I found that it was a really entertaining movie. The suspense and the scares are well done, especially since the two primary actors are really engaging and likable. I can't really go into it too much without spoiling something, so I'll just say that if you're a horror fan, you'll probably find something to like about Paranormal Activity. So I'll give it four stars and a big thumbs up.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get some fresh air. The varnish we put on the woodwork around the house is starting to get to me.

Sunday, October 18, 2009; 2:46 a.m.

We're nearing the final stretch of the original MSX's farewell tour, folks.

I say that because I just finished up a new review, and I'm down to my last tenth of a megabyte of Tripod space. It's getting down to the wire, and I figured that if a "Sutton at the Movies" review is what's going to close the Tripod MSX's doors, I wanted it to get a big one in before it was all said and done. Thus, my latest review is one of the most notorious bad movies ever made, Manos: The Hands of Fate. The movie was absolute torture to watch, but I had to review it. I just had to. If you've seen the movie, you'll understand why.

But as I said, I've got a tenth of a megabyte left on Tripod. I'm actually not for sure if I can fit another review in that space, but we'll just have to wait and see. If it turns out that Manos is the last review I ever get to post on Tripod, then I think it'll be fitting. It would have all started with my review of Friday the 13th, a movie I love, and ended with Manos, a movie I hate. If I can squeeze in one more, maybe I could make it a review of the Friday the 13th remake, just to bring it all full circle.

Either way, I'm going to be sad to see the Tripod MSX close. But nothing lasts forever, does it?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009; 3:35 p.m.

It just now hit me that I actually have something to blog about besides movies, and I completely forgot about it until right now. I must be slipping.

But what it was is that I was in attendance at Rupp Arena when WWE taped ECW and Smackdown last night. I didn't get home in time to see ECW when it aired, and I don't have a TiVo either. But thanks to YouTube, I did discover that I made it (or my signs made it, anyway) onto the show at least twice. Once during the opening, and once during the main event. If the quality of the YouTube videos in question hadn't been so iffy, I'd have probably posted screen captures. Maybe I can do that once WWE posts the show up on Hulu.

And then there's Smackdown on Friday, too. If you've got access to a MyNetworkTV affiliate, tune in and keep an eye out for a chubby guy in a Green Lantern T-shirt. Because that just might be me.

But anyway, this was the first televised WWE show I'd been to since 2006, and it was a lot of fun. Plus I had the best seats I'd ever had for a WWE show, which made everything that much more entertaining. Seeing a WWE show and getting on TV? That's awesome.

The only bad parts were missing the ECW broadcast and having to wait a few days to see Smackdown. That's a real killer. But I just wonder, out of sheer curiosity, how many times I'll pop up on Smackdown. Friday can't get here quick enough.

Thursday, October 8, 2009; 10:03 p.m.

Welcome back to the MSX, folks. You've arrived just in time for another stop on the Tripod MSX's farewell tour. This stop takes us from the monster-devastated rubble of New York City depicted in Cloverfield and drops us smack dab in the middle of Zombieland. The movie was so great that I couldn't wait to review it.

And with that, we once again move a step closer to the original MSX's grand finale and the official debut of "Sutton at the Movies: The Blog." I don't believe there'll be too many steps left until the end. I actually feel kinda sad about the inevitable closing of the Tripod MSX, even if I haven't been using it for anything but my reviews for the last few years. It was my very first attempt at a blog, years before I'd even heard the word "blog." I've grown quite attached to it, even through the thick layer of dust that's developed since I moved things to Blogger.

But the end is coming for the Tripod MSX. There's no avoiding it. So when it happens, I'll just have to suck it up and live with it. At least I have the convenience of Blogger, right?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009; 5:58 p.m.

It's time for another stop on the Tripod MSX's farewell tour as I add one more movie to the "Sutton at the Movies" archives. This time around, I took a look at Cloverfield, last year's monster movie that sparked a ton of Internet buzz when its initial teaser appeared in front of Transformers. I thought it was just kinda okay at best, but feel free to click the link to see me break things down in depth.

I know I've said this two or three times now, and I hate sounding like a broken record, but I'm sure there's not much life left in the old Tripod site. I'm hoping to knock out one or two more reviews this month and get it closed in time for the big anniversary party at the beginning of November, so I'll keep you devoted readers posted.

So after seeing the Toy Story double feature yesterday, I went out and caught Zombieland today. And I almost wish I'd seen it earlier in the weekend, because it's awesome.

Pretty much everything about Zombieland works, especially the comedic elements. I'd actually say it could rival Shaun of the Dead when it comes to zombie comedy. Every joke works, and what scares there are are good too. It's a very clever movie, one that immediately endears itself. I can't say enough good things about it, so I'm going to give it four stars on the Sutton Scale and tell anyone who's interested in it to go buy a ticket to see it right now.

And is it wrong to hope that Woody Harrelson's character gets his own spinoff? Because I'd totally go see it if it happened.

With the month of October finally comes some new movies for me to go see. Zombieland came out yesterday, and you're probably thinking that I ran out and saw it. But you'd be thinking wrong, because I went to see the new 3D double feature of Toy Story and Toy Story 2. I already have them on DVD, but I just couldn't turn down a chance to see them in 3D.

I love the Toy Story movies, so I already knew going in that I'd enjoy them. But with the new 3D feature implemented, it adds a new level of entertainment to them. It's almost like seeing two completely different movies. And the opening segment and the intermission were a lot of fun too, and are almost worth seeing by themselves.

In short, I loved every minute of the over three hours I spent sitting in the theatre. I'm not sure why they're releasing this in October, though, since Toy Story 3 doesn't come out for another nine months. If it were up to me, I'd have probably waited until Memorial Day weekend of 2010 before releasing this double feature. But I'm not the one who makes those kind of decisions, so it's out of my hands. Though whether it be released this weekend or any other weekend, it was still a very entertaining way to handle the movies.

They won't be in theaters for long, so if you're even remotely interested and the movies are playing near you, go check it out. Please?

The farewell tour for the Tripod version of the MSX keeps on trucking, folks. We've reached another stop on that tour, this time with my new review of last year's Saw V. The sixth Saw movie comes out in three weeks, so I figured now would be as good a time as any to finally write a review of the fifth one.

There will probably be a few more stops on that farewell tour, since I still have a little Tripod space left. But I'm seriously considering unveiling the "Sutton at the Movies" blog on November 2nd, which would be the eighth anniversary of the MSX's existence, whether or not I've run out of Tripod space. We'll just have to see where we are a month from now.

That month seems like it could last both forever and no time at all. But like I said, we'll see.

Friday, September 25, 2009; 10:49 p.m.

As I get ready for the gala premiere of the Blogger version of "Sutton at the Movies," I'm still trying to milk all I can get out of Tripod. So with that in mind, I've got a new review for you dedicated readers. The review in question is of Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler, starring Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei.

I'd initially wanted to write that as part of a triple feature of reviews, with No Holds Barred and Ready to Rumble as the other two parts. But the more I wrote about The Wrestler, the less I wanted to lump it in with those other two. So I finally just decided to hold off on reviewing No Holds Barred and Ready to Rumble and go ahead with posting The Wrestler by itself. I'll probably get those other two movies sometime, but as for now, just enjoy what I've got posted. Okay? Alright.

Welcome back to the MSX, folks. There hasn't really been a whole lot going on that's been worth blogging about, outside of a little work we've been doing on our house. It's been a wee bit stressful and I could use a break from it, so let's move on.

What I'd like to talk about is the two new reviews I have up over at "Sutton at the Movies." The new reviews in question: the Spanish zombie movie [Rec] and it's American remake, Quarantine. And the way it's looking, I'm not sure how much more I'll be able to host on Tripod after this, since the available space I'm allowed is becoming more and more limited. I think I've got half a megabyte of space left, which means I've got enough room for maybe two or three more reviews if I'm lucky.

And that's why I started working on a Blogger version of "Sutton at the Movies." I started posting all my old reviews about a week or two ago, and as of earlier this afternoon, I'm completely up to date. It's up and running as we speak, but I don't think I'll have a big grand opening gala for it until I'm completely out of space on Tripod. It shouldn't be too long until then, at the rate I'm running. So keep your eyes peeled, and I'll have all the information ready to post when the right opportunity presents itself.

Even though I like the whole concept of midnight movies, I never really get the chance to attend any. There's been two or three in the past, but not as many as I'd like. That's what I get for living so far out in the boonies. But regardless, I can add one more to the number I've seen, because I got the opportunity to head up to Lexington's Kentucky Theatre for a midnight screening of Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood last night. It was part of a horror convention going on in Lexington this weekend, but while I can't get up to the convention, I couldn't miss the movie.

What made this particular midnight movie special (to me, anyway) was that it was introduced by Jason himself, Kane Hodder. He was in town for that convention, and since The New Blood was his first movie as Jason, they had him come in to say a little something before it began. I was a little bummed that his intro was only four or five minutes long, considering that I heard Gunner Hansen spoke for at least half an hour at the midnight showing of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre the night before. But I can't really complain about it, because I thought it was still cool. The best part, though, was that he stuck around for part of the movie, and when his favorite kill - the sleeping bag scene - arrived, he shouted, "You're gonna get it, bitch! Yeah!" I thought that was kinda funny.

I've got to admit that the whole thing was a lot of fun. Sitting there with a bunch of Jason fans, laughing and cheering at every awesome moment, was a great experience. I wish I could go see the Kentucky Theatre's midnight movies more often. But if I can't, at least I have this one.

Is it just me, or are stores pushing their holiday wares on us sooner and sooner? I bring it up because I was in a supermarket last night that had already had a Halloween section set up. Granted, it was mostly the candy aisle dressed in orange and black, with some random decorations on sale as well, but still. I love Halloween, but I'm not ready for it yet. Can't we wait until October (or at least the end of September) before stores go nuts for Halloween?

At least we aren't seeing Christmas stuff yet. I'm sure that won't be turning up until November. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if stores tried kicking off their yuletide festivities the week before Halloween. Don't act like you'd be surprised either.

Another weekend, another trip to the movies. This will probably be it for posts like this for at least a month, maybe two if none of the local theaters get Zombieland. I'd probably go see Jennifer's Body, but I've decided to pass on it. The reason being that after Transformers 2, Megan Fox has completely worn out her welcome. But anyway, I headed out this afternoon to see Halloween II, Rob Zombie's sequel to his remake of the horror classic. I thought the remake was mostly awful, with only a handful of decent moments. But as far as the sequel goes, it's at least an improvement. It's still not all that great, but I guess I'll have to take what I can get.

The movie is, by and large, a standard slasher movie. And if it had stuck to that, it might have been pretty decent. But there are so many weird elements, stupid elements, and elements that are poorly realized, that it hurts the movie. Did we really need the whole thing with Michael's mom and the white horse? Jason is the mama's boy, not Michael. And was it just me, or did Dr. Loomis's character arc seem super-rushed? It felt like he spent the majority of the arc at the beginning, then decided to stay there before completely skipping over the middle and arriving at the end in the last ten minutes of the movie. Were all the scenes where he develops and reaches his final conclusions left on the cutting room floor?

So yeah, the writing cold have used some improvement. And to tell you the truth, the acting could have too. It's really a mixed bag. Malcolm McDowell and Brad Dourif put forth good performances, and Tyler Mane is scary as Michael Myers. I even thought Sheri Moon Zombie was good, despite there being no real need for her character beyond Rob Zombie wanting to stick his wife in all his movies. But the supporting cast is kinda weak, and our "final girl," Scout Taylor-Compton, is tremendously bad. I've seen her in three movies now, and I've come to the decision that she needs to go take a few acting classes. Just because you're cute as a button doesn't mean you should be starring in widely-released theatrical movies.

It doesn't help anything that the new version of Laurie Strode is one of the most useless, pathetic characters in I've ever seen in a horror movie. She's right up there with the girl that hid in the refrigerator in Madman, though the new Laurie doesn't have the redeeming factor of doing something as awesome as using a fridge to hide from the killer. Taylor-Compton has nothing on Jamie Lee Curtis, whose version of Laurie is still one of the slasher genre's most beloved "final girls." I know several horror fans who were legitimately upset when Jamie Lee's Laurie was killed off at the beginning of Halloween: Resurrection. I don't particularly believe that the same will be said for Scout's Laurie. thanks to the fatal combination of bad writing and bad acting.

So how did I ultimately feel about Halloween II? It's definitely a step up from the remake, but I'd still rather watch the old Halloween movies instead. And I say that because they're simply more fun. Yeah, more fun. Rob Zombie's two Halloween movies are almost unbearably mean-spirited and cruel. I end up being more disappointed and depressed just thinking about them than I do the others. Disappointed because they're just not all that great, and depressed because of how unapologetically mean they are. But because it is at least an improvement with a few bits and pieces that I actually did like, I'll give Halloween II two and a half stars on my scale of five.

What I really fear, though, is the rumor that Zombie will be tackling a new remake of The Blob next. He supposedly doesn't like any of the previous Blob movies, and because of that, he will probably make the villain something other than the giant man-eating Jello monster that we all know and love. I hope somebody comes to their senses between now and then and realizes just how much that idea sucks. If you're going to name your movie The Blob, it had better star that giant man-eating Jello monster or this guy. Otherwise, you'd be better off giving it a different name, right?

Thursday, September 3, 2009; 5:09 p.m.

After posting that review of The Midnight Meat Train yesterday, I decided that I needed to follow that rather bleak movie with a little levity. And to do that, I've whipped up a review of Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie. This one was a weird review to write, since how do you really critique three guys sitting around mocking a movie? But I figured I'd give it a shot. I don't really think it's one of my better reviews, but what's it going to hurt, right? It's not like I get paid to do this.

So go read that, then run out and rent the movie, because it's great. Trust me on this.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009; 6:23 p.m.

So we're two days into September now. Isn't the time flying by? Anyway, why don't we pass some more time by reading the new review I have up over at "Sutton at the Movies"? This time around, the movie of choice is The Midnight Meat Train. It's an adaptation of a short story written by Clive Barker, and its depiction of a serial killer who's turned a subway train into a meat locker almost puts me in the mood to turn vegetarian. Almost. (I just can't quit you, hamburgers.)

That's all I've got, so have fun reading.

Monday, August 31, 2009; 5:55 p.m.

As you may or may not have heard, Marvel Entertainment - the company that owns Marvel Comics - has been purchased by The Walt Disney Company for the sum of four billion dollars. That's "billion" with a B. The purchase apparently hasn't completely gone through yet, since I think it still has to pass an antitrust review and get approval from stockholders. But I'm sure it'll go through, and Marvel will become the official property of "the House of Mouse."

A lot of comic book fans have gotten their panties in a bunch over the news. They've immediately started assuming that Marvel will have to bend to Disney's every whim, and water their products down so they can cater them to the Jonas Brothers/Hannah Montana crowd. But that doesn't have to be true. Who's to say that Marvel can't just go about business as usual, only with a Disney bankroll? It could be like the Disney/Pixar deal, where Pixar goes and does their own thing and Disney releases the final product. Besides, Disney owns Miramax Films and used to own Dimension Films, and neither of those brands are strangers to R-rated movies. So there's no reason automatically assume the worst.

And theoretically, this could put Marvel in the same boat as DC Comics. Now that Marvel is owned by a large media conglomerate, its movies already have a guaranteed distributor. But the details of the sale to Disney does specify that the movie rights that have already been sold will stay where they are until those deals expire. And whenever the rights revert to Marvel (and thus, to Disney), I hope they start incorporating characters into the universe that Marvel has started building in anticipation of the Avengers movie. And they'd be smart to do it, too. A crossover between some of these characters could make crazy money if it were done right. But hey, we'll just have to wait and see.

"Wait and see" is probably the outlook we'll have to take on this whole Disney/Marvel sale anyway. I know the super-nerds are acting like this is some kind of grievous offense, but is it? So what if Disney owns Marvel? If, a year from now, Marvel is doing "Spider-Man and Wolverine vs. The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" or something stupid like that, I'll agree and say that the sale sucks. But if it's business as usual, then it's no harm, no foul. I'm actually curious to see just where this will go.

And is it wrong to hope for a Donald Duck/Howard the Duck crossover now?

Saturday, August 29, 2009; 9:36 p.m.

If you read this blog for a long enough period of time, you'll begin to notice that I go out to the movies quite a bit. This weekend was no exception, as I headed out to see The Final Destination this afternoon. It was either that or Halloween II, and I went with the one I thought wouldn't suck. Plus it was in 3D, and there's nothing wrong with seeing a 3D movie every now and again. (Except for the theaters inflating the ticket prices by $2.50 to cover the glasses, that is.)

So what did I think about it? I thought it was really entertaining. All the Final Destination movies are pretty much the same, since I guess they figure they shouldn't change what works. All they have to do is figure out some creative death sequences and throw around the number 180 around a bunch. But even though there's nothing about The Final Destination that makes it stand out from its three predecessors, I thought it was still a fun way to spend an hour and a half. I can't recommend it to those who aren't already fans of the franchise, but I will say that I'll give it three stars out of five.

And that's about it for this post. I might go see Halloween II next weekend, though I must admit that I'm not very excited to see it. The commercials look awful, the reviews are overwhelmingly negative, and Rob Zombie's last attempt at a Halloween movie really sucked. But I'm curious to see just how bad it really is. We'll just have to see how it goes next weekend.

Saturday, August 22, 2009; 6:35 p.m.

I can't really say I've seen many World War II movies. But when I heard that Quentin Tarantino was making one, I had to go see it. So that's exactly what I did this afternoon when I headed out to catch Inglourious Basterds. And it isn't that bad of a movie, either. I've seen better from Tarantino, but I've seen far worse too.

My real problem with the movie is that there's so much that could have trimmed from the movie. Did we absolutely need the whole side plot with the Jewish theater owner wanting to kill Nazis? Did we need a 30-minute scene where some undercover allies play a drinking game with a Nazi soldier? (I'm not sure if it was actually 30 minutes, but it sure felt like it.) But if they'd taken that out and focused primarily on Brad Pitt and his gang of soldiers, I'd have appreciated the movie a lot more.

But other than that, Inglourious Basterds is an entertaining enough movie. Pitt is awesome, Tarantino's dialogue is great, and the movie looks fantastic. I think I'll probably give it three and a half stars on my usual scale of five. I don't know if I'd recommend it to anyone other than die-hard Tarantino fans, but if you like his work, you'll like Inglourious Basterds. Even with its flaws, it's still a million times better than Death Proof.

Sunday, August 16, 2009; 7:15 p.m.

Believe it or not, I went out to the movies this afternoon. At this rate, I might as well make this the "Sutton at the Movies" blog. But anyway, I headed out early this afternoon to check out District 9, the new science fiction movie produced by Peter Jackson. I don't want to go too much into detail about the movie out of fear of spoiling anything, but District 9 felt like an art house movie if it had a 30 million dollar budget and played in mainstream theaters. It's a different kind of movie, but what makes it different is part of what makes it so darn good.

When you see a movie about aliens arriving on Earth, they're here to either conquer or offer peace. But District 9's are stuck here and want to go home, and end up being the victim of anti-alien racism. It's kinda like that movie Alien Nation if it were set in South Africa. It's almost refreshing to see a movie about extraterrestrial visitors that doesn't really follow the usual tropes. The hybrid of pseudo-documentary style and traditional filmmaking used by director Neill Blomkamp is really neat (though it can take a little time to get used to), and I thought that lead actor Sharlo Copley put forth a very good performance. The only really negative aspects of the movie that I could find are that Copley's character comes off as being unsympathetic at times, and that the ending could have been a little tighter.

But other than that, I really enjoyed District 9. It was a brave movie in an era where it's easy to let science fiction be driven by effects and action. And personally, I'd almost be willing to call it something of a successor to David Cronenberg's remake of The Fly. My final score: three and a half stars out of five, and a thumbs up. Go check it out, folks.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009; 10:44 p.m.

In the midst of the big pile of nothing I've been up to lately, I've also been working on a brand new review for "Sutton at the Movies." You fans are in for a treat, because this time around, it's my review of the Bruce Campbell flick My Name Is Bruce.

Also on the topic of "Sutton at the Movies," I'm starting to run out of space on Tripod. I've got just under one megabyte of room left. So once that remaining space is gone, I think I'll finally close the old MSX for good and start posing the new reviews on a Blogger version of "Sutton at the Movies." The old Tripod version will probably stay up just so I don't have to change the links in the archives. But you might want to look forward to a Blogger version of "Sutton at the Movies" sometime in the next few months. Maybe I can hold off until November, so I can use it to celebrate the eighth anniversary of the MSX. Actually, that doesn't sound like too bad of an idea.

I'll look into that. Meanwhile, you guys enjoy the new review.

Saturday, August 8, 2009; 11:13 p.m.

I know it seems like I do a quick movie review every week, but we've reached a point where there are very few movies I'm actually interested in seeing release. But I did go out to the local theater today to check out A Perfect Getaway with my dad. I think my dad mainly wanted to see it because I'm pretty sure he has the hots for Milla Jovovich, but that's just a guess on my part.

Anyway, about the movie. Believe it or not, the movie is really good. The cinematography is fantastic, the acting is good, and there are some pretty good scares in it. I'll admit that I probably wouldn't seen A Perfect Getaway if my dad hadn't wanted to see it, but I'm glad I did. I'm gonna give it three and a half stars (leaning towards four) on my usual scale of five, and I'd gladly recommend it to anyone who has even a remote interest in seeing it.

And if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go cancel my Hawaiian hiking trip.

Sunday, August 2, 2009; 2:21 a.m.

Remember when I posted about my trip to see Land of the Lost and Drag Me to Hell at the Harrodsburg drive-in theater about a month ago? Well, guess where I just got home from. Go on, guess.

Okay, you got me. I just got home from Kate Beckinsale's house, and she's decided that her husband is out, and I'm in. But seriously, I just got back from another adventure to the Harrodsburg drive-in. That whole Kate Beckinsale thing is just wishful thinking. Sweet, sweet wishful thinking. Anyway, the drive-in had another double feature on deck, so let's just see what I thought about the two flicks.

First on tap was Johnny Depp's recent gangster movie, Public Enemies. I can't really say that I was a fan of the movie, for a couple of reasons. One is that it was really murky-looking. I don't know if it was due to the cinematography, or the print the theater had, or if I needed to clean my car's windshield, but the majority of the time, I had no clue what was going on. My other problem is that Public Enemies had absolutely no plot at all. I'm not exaggerating when I say that the movie has no actual story. The Twilight movie had more story than this, and it was just a couple of terrible actors staring at each other for two hours. You'd almost be better off reading John Dillinger's Wikipedia article instead. The saddest part of the whole thing is that with all the talent in front of and behind the camera, Public Enemies is still a pretty awful movie. So I really can't justify giving it anything more than two stars.

The second half of the double feature was The Hangover, which I'd already seen back in June. The movie is still just as funny as it was the first time, maybe even funnier. I think I might have to actually upgrade that three-and-a-half star rating I gave it in June to four stars now. It deserves it.

So this trip to the drive-in was a balancing act between good and bad. It wouldn't have been so bad had Public Enemies not sucked so badly and had the weather been a little better, but you can't always have everything the way you'd like it. Maybe next time...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009; 12:56 p.m.

Howdy, folks, and welcome back to the MSX. Things have been moving a bit on the slow side lately, partly due to me fighting a cold for the better part of the month. Because of that, I've had plenty of free time. And you're in luck, too, because I've spent that free time working on potential new reviews for "Sutton At The Movies."

I've actually just finished up a new one, as a mater of fact. With all of the recent financial success that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has seen, in spite of just how awful the movie is, I thought I'd go all the way back to the beginning and review some Transformers history. No, not Michael Bay's first Transformers movie, though I might have to review that one in the future. Instead, I reviewed the 1986 animated flick The Transformers: The Movie. Yes, folks, the movie directly based on the Transformers cartoon. I can't say I particularly liked it, but at least it was better than Revenge of the Fallen.

But after this, there's quite a few reviews I've been aiming to write. I've been prepping reviews of Terminator Salvation, Saw V, and a few others, and I've even been considering doing a review of the legendary Troll 2. If you haven't heard of it, good for you. It's considered one of the most unbelievably awful movies of all time. I have yet to actually watch it, but I do have a downloaded copy in my possession. I'm almost afraid to watch it, though, because its reputation alone has already scared me enough. But maybe, just maybe, I'll subject myself to the horrors of Troll 2 for the betterment of "Sutton At The Movies."

Maybe...

Sunday, July 12, 2009; 7:37 p.m.

There aren't really a whole lot of movies coming out this month that I'm particularly interested in, bu one of the few that's drawn my eye is Bruno. I was a fan of Borat, so I figured I'd go check it out this afternoon. And I thought it was an entertaining movie. I didn't think it was as funny as Borat, but it was still a really funny flick.

Bruno won't be for everyone. There are some parts that could offend people, others that will shock or disgust them. It's essentially Borat, only really, really, really, flamboyantly gay, so the majority of you reading this have already made up your mind as to whether or not you're going to see it. But I've seen it and liked it, so I'll give it three and a half stars and a thumbs up.

And I know Sasha Baron Cohen has already made Ali G Indahouse, but at this point, he could probably get away with making a new, mainstream Ali G movie in the style of Borat or Bruno. That way, he could hit the hat trick of his three characters and make himself quite a bit more money.

Saturday, July 11, 2009; 11:17 p.m.

Guess who just finished a new review for "Sutton At The Movies"?

Me!

I know, right? Two reviews in two days. I'm as surprised as you are. But enough about me, let's get to the review. This time around, it's the 1994 flick Double Dragon, the second movie to ever be adapted from a video game. It's a pretty awful movie, so I hope you readers appreciate this.

So go read that, and if you haven't read the review of Watchmen that I posted yesterday, do that too. I don't write these things for my health.

Friday, July 10, 2009; 2:03 p.m.

Howdy, folks. I hope you "Sutton at the Movies" fans are ready for some excitement, because I've got a brand new review ready for your consumption. The movie in question: Zack Snyder's adaptation of Watchmen. You know, the superhero movie that came out earlier this year and didn't star Wolverine. So go read the review, and in a week and a half, go buy the DVD. Okay?

Thursday, July 9, 2009; 5:56 p.m.

Remember all the way back in December, when I complained about my Xbox 360 crashing? I'd been sitting on it for several months, waiting until I could afford the $100 charge to fix it. Turns out Microsoft added my particular problem to the extended warranty back in April and I didn't find out until a few weeks ago. So I mailed it off to Microsoft and got it taken care of for free, and I finally got it back yesterday.

Since then, I've been playing a lot of Ghostbusters: The Video Game. I actually just beat it a few minutes ago. I got the game for free thanks to the fine folks over at GBfans.com, so I don't think I could really complain about a free game. But even if I'd paid full price for it, the game would have been just as fun. I've been a Ghostbusters fan since I was a little kid, and the game only reinforced my enthusiasm for the Ghostbusters. The controls are easy to learn, and the game itself is a lot of fun to play. I'm not a video game reviewer, and the fact that I actually own and enjoy Sneak King shows what my opinion on video games is probably worth. But Ghostbusters: The Video Game is a heck of a game. You can't go wrong with it. So go buy yourself a copy.

Now if they'd ever get around to actually making Ghostbusters 3 instead of just talking about it...

Friday, June 26, 2009; 11:54 p.m.

As I usually do on the weekends, I went out to catch the latest big movie to be released. This time around was Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and in short, it could have been better.

The problem with the movie was that it had all kinds of flaws. The story is too hard to follow, the acting feels hollow, the action starts blending together after a while, and there are characters and scenes that could have been removed with no negative consequences. Seriously, there's so much stuff they could have cut out of the movie. Did we need the subplot with the pain-in-the-ass bureaucrat annoying the military? Did we need the two Autobots that were bad Jar Jar Binks wannabes? Even I was offended by how racist they were, and I'm a white guy from the south.

You know what else could have been cut? All the scenes with the parents of Shia LaBeouf's character. I didn't think the movie needed the scene where his mom gets high on pot brownies, and they didn't really serve any purpose when they turned up at the end of the movie. They outlived their usefulness after the first twenty minutes of the movie, in all honesty. The same can be said for Shia's roommate, a one-joke character who didn't need to stick around for the entire movie.

Really, the only part of the movie that works is the CGI, which is fantastic. It looks really believable, so I can't complain about that. But pretty CGI can't save an otherwise lame movie. The whole thing is utter nonsense extended for about forty-five minutes longer than it should have lasted. There's no reason for this movie to be two and a half hours long. And I just can't believe that the guys who wrote the Star Trek remake actually wrote this. To wrap this up, I guess I'd give Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen two stars out of the usual five. If I were a Transformers fan, I'd be pissed.

Sunday, June 21, 2009; 1:50 a.m.

I've never made it a secret that I enjoy seeing movies at drive-in theaters. I haven't exactly made a habit of it (the last time I went was near the end of 2007), but I think it's a lot of fun when I actually get the chance to go. It's always an entertaining experience for me, at least. The reason I bring this up is because I just got home from the drive-in theater over in Harrodsburg, and I thought I'd talk a little about the double feature they ran.

First on the bill was Land of the Lost. I've never seen the old television show, and combining that with the less-than-stellar reviews it's been getting, and I was just going to rent the DVD in a few months. But I figured, what the heck, I'll give it a shot. And to tell you the honest truth, it's an ultimately forgettable movie. The jokes are worth a chuckle, but nothing was worth full-blown laughter. The movie wasn't good or bad; it was just okay. It was just kinda there. It's a heaping pile of adequacy. And in summary, Land of the Lost is a forgettable little movie that I'm not sure that even fans of the show will remember a year from now. So it gets a thumbs-in-the-middle with two and a half stars. I've seen worse movies, but I've certainly seen better ones too.

The second half of the double feature was Sam Raimi's new horror movie, Drag Me to Hell. This was another one that I was probably going to wait to watch on DVD, since for the life of me, I just couldn't get excited enough to see it theatrically. But what do you know, I went to see it anyway. I'm glad I did, because it was actually pretty good. I liked everything about the movie, especially Alison Lohman's performance, but the movie is really more spooky than it is scary. That's not really a bad thing, so I'm not going to call it a complaint. Drag Me to Hell was definitely worth the three and a half stars I'm going to give it, and if you have any interest in it at all, go see it if it's still playing anywhere near you. The movie kinda dropped off the face of the earth, which is a real bummer.

The best part about the whole thing, though, was watching a horror movie at a drive-in theater, with the time well past midnight, and with the occasional streak of lightning on the horizon. That, my friends, is what I like call a good time. I'll have to do it again sometime.

Monday, June 8, 2009; 8:50 p.m.

I'm not sure how many people will realize this, but this summer marks the tenth anniversary of The Blair Witch Project. Yeah, I know, right? It's been a whole decade since that movie came out. So to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the movie, I've posted my new review of its sequel, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. What do you mean, you didn't know The Blair Witch Project had a sequel? Don't feel bad, because it kinda sucks. So have fun reading that and my old review of the original Blair Witch movie, okay?

Friday, June 5, 2009; 10:37 p.m.

Just got home from seeing The Hangover. It was either that, Land of the Lost, or Drag Me to Hell, so as to be expected, I ended up choosing the one I wanted to see the most. I think I made a wise decision, because The Hangover was really funny.

Just about every element of the movie - the jokes, the actors, the situations - are hilarious. Even the things that aren't obvious setups for jokes are funny. I'm actually surprised by just how funny it was. I'll admit that going in, I thought it would be one of those movies where all the best stuff was in the advertisements, but I was wrong. The Hangover was definitely worth seeing, because almost every scene was able to illicit laughter from yours truly. So I'm going to give it three and a half stars on my usual Five-Star Sutton Scale, leaning towards four. I just can't recommend it enough.

And remind me to never steal Mike Tyson's pet tiger, okay?

Friday, May 29, 2009; 11:04 p.m.

So I mentioned a few hours ago that I had plans for the evening. You may be asking, "Just what plans did you have, anyway?" Well, my family and I went out to the movies to go see the latest Pixar flick, Up. And it's in 3D too, which is always fun. So just what did I think about the movie?

I really liked it. I can usually give or take Pixar movies, since I only like about half of them. But I thought Up was a whole lot of fun. I wouldn't call it Pixar's best movie, but the fact that it was actually able to make me laugh and become misty-eyed within just a few minutes says a lot for the movie's quality. I'm amazed at just how good Pixar is at being able to generate actual emotion from viewers like that. Most live-action movies can't even do that. So yeah, Pixar rules.

But yeah, back to Up. The movie is wholly entertaining from start to finish. I didn't leave feeling disappointed. And I can appreciate that they didn't treat the 3D like some kind of cheap gimmick, either. A lot of 3D movies would be content to just point stuff at the screen, but that's not in Up. The 3D actually gives it a certain depth that it might not have had in 2D. And on the whole, I'll totally give Up four stars. I can't recommend it enough. Go check it out, won't you?

Now all that's left is for me to tie a few thousand balloons to the roof of my house.

Friday, May 29, 2009; 4:53 p.m.

Yep, today is my birthday. I'm 27 years old, as a matter of fact. It feels weird being three years from thirty, knowing that I'm at least five years behind where I probably should be at this point in my life. But I don't want to get all mopey thinking about that, not today. Today's a day to be in a good mood, right? Of course.

Though today probably won't be the most active or exciting birthday I've ever had, I do have some plans for later in the day. I'm sure I'll post about said plans after the fact, but as for now, I'll have to leave you guessing as to what they are.

No, I'm not going out for a night of wild debauchery, since I've already reached my monthly quota for hiding dead strippers. And I'm not quite sure how to make it to Tijuana, so that's out of the question. Just hold your horses, and you'll find out later tonight, I promise.

Sunday, May 24, 2009; 12:54 p.m.

You might recall a few posts ago when I mentioned that I was working on a brand new review. And as of last night, it's finished and ready for the Sutton At The Movies faithful to read. This particular review: the recently released X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

The review tends to lean a wee bit towards the negative side, but as with all my reviews, your mileage may vary. Wolverine is one of those movies that I'm not going to fault people for liking, even if my review is mostly complaints. That is, unless you want to try and argue that BloodRayne or Alone in the Dark were good movies. Because if you did, I'd have to hit you. I'm pretty sure that's in the Constitution or the Geneva Conventions or something.

Friday, May 22, 2009; 10:36 p.m.

There are some movie franchises from the '80s that I'm an absolute sucker for. One of these is the Terminator franchise. I grew up loving the Terminator movies; my worn-out VHS copy of T2 is proof enough of that. And while I was disappointed that Fox very recently cancelled the Terminator TV show after only its second season, at least I had Terminator: Salvation. I just got home from seeing it at the local theater, and I really enjoyed it.

A lot of that enjoyment came from all the little callbacks to the earlier movies. Whether it be a line of dialogue, or a certain prop, or a music cue, or even sometimes how a particular scene plays out, there's so many fun little nods to the prior movies that it almost becomes a game to see if you can point out what the references are. And with the exception of the "I'll be back" gag, none of them really seemed forced. It could have gone badly, perhaps into one of those "spot-the-reference" sequels that makes you feel like you should have just stayed at home and watched the other movies instead. But the movie avoids that, which is nice.

Aside from that, Terminator: Salvation is a really fun and exciting movie. McG's direction and the action scenes are both very well done, the acting (primarily from Christian Bale and Sam Worthington) is good, and the special effects are fantastic. I had a blast watching the movie, and I can't wait for the inevitable release of Terminator 5. But as for Terminator: Salvation, I'm totally giving it three and a half stars out of five. It's not perfect, but I still liked it.

And with all the references to the past Terminator movies in the movie, it's too bad they didn't make a Batman joke at Christian Bale's expense. Maybe on the DVD...

Sunday, May 17, 2009; 7:11 p.m.

No, I haven't forgotten this poor blog. I'm still here, I promise. It's just that there's been nothing going on worth talking about this week. No movies I wanted to see came out, I didn't go anywhere of any real note, and I don't have a job or friends. So I've been stuck just sitting around this week. I have been putting in work on a new movie review, but I'm only about halfway through, so I'm not really in a position to discuss it at length. I prefer to wait until it's finished. I'm hoping I'll have it done in the next week or two, in time for my birthday.

Speaking of, my birthday actually is coming up soon. A little less than two weeks, as a matter of fact. It'll be number 27, which means I'll be only three years from being 30. Yeah, no kidding. Thirty years old. I still have a few years to hit that big milestone, but considering how much I've been slacking off for the last decade or so, I've got to put in quite a bit of work to get where I feel like I should be by then. I still need to find gainful employment, before moving into a place of my own. I'm hoping to take care of that first one in the next few months, and hopefully have the other one accomplished within a few years. Total self-reliance is what I'm aiming for, hopefully before we get too deep into the 2010s. But none of those things are going to happen overnight. They're going to take work on my end, otherwise they'll never get done. I'm just hoping they go by smoothly.

Anybody know where I can get a job doing nothing for decent wages? :)

Saturday, May 9, 2009; 6:43 p.m.

You've probably seen all the commercials for the Star Trek movie lately. And if you haven't, you've probably been watching the wrong TV shows. Anyway, as a Star Trek fan, I made a point of going out and seeing the movie this afternoon. And I really liked the movie a lot.

The movie stays really faithful to the original show from the '60s, but even on its own, it's a whole lot of fun. The acting is good, the effects are stellar, and it's a thoroughly entertaining, exciting movie. I'd definitely put it up there with the classic Trek movies like The Wrath of Khan, The Voyage Home, and First Contact. The new movie is that good. So on the usual star scale, I'd give it four and a half stars out of my typical five. And I might just have to see it again sometime.

Saturday, May 2, 2009; 10:41 p.m.

Wow, has it been so long since my last post? Shame on me. And here I was hoping to improve upon the span between posts. Anyway, I actually have some things to talk about.

Today was Free Comic Book Day, so my mom and I made a point of heading out early and partaking in the festivities at our usual comic book shop. Did you know that you could spend ninety bucks on comic books and still not get all the ones you wanted? Yeah. But I still came home with a pretty good haul, especially considering I managed to score quite a few books for less than two bucks a piece, plus the huge amount of free ones I landed.

After that, we picked up my dad and went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And it was alright, I guess. It could have been better, but it could have been worse too. My problems with the movie can be summed up as such: quite a bit of the CGI looked lousy, the writing could have used work, and the whole movie just felt unnecessary. The whole thing could have been done as a five-minute flashback or soliloquy in X-Men 4, to tell you the truth. I will admit that that I liked Liev Schreiber, I thought Hugh Jackman was good, and Ryan Reynolds was funny. But other that... meh.

Like I said, the CGI needed some improvement. A lot of it looked like it didn't advance much farther past the workprint that was leaked online a while back. And as for the writing, not only does it put a negative dent in the mystique of the cinematic Wolverine, but it feels like the writers just threw whatever they could at the wall to see what would stick. Pointless appearances by Emma Frost and a teenage Cyclops? Replacing the traditional Deadpool with some kind of genetically-altered super-mutant? Whatever.

Honestly, I'd put the movie on about the same level as the Daredevil or Fantastic Four movies. It's not good, it's not bad, it's just adequate. The fight scenes aren't bad and the acting doesn't suck, but for the most part, it's unfortunately forgettable. There's so much room for improvement here. I'd probably give the movie a thumbs-in-the-middle with two and a half stars out of the typical five if I was pressured, but I'll probably have to see it a second time in order to get a more accurate feel of it.

And is it wrong to hope the movie rights for all the Marvel characters revert back to Marvel, just so they can be introduced into the shared cinematic universe that Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk have started building?

Saturday, April 18, 2009; 9:14 p.m.

With "Super Saturday 2" finally out of the way, I decided to head out to the theaters to see Crank: High Voltage. I loved the first Crank movie, so I was really looking forward to the sequel. And while it's not as good as the original, I thought it was a lot of fun.

Crank 2 is silly, over the top, and absolutely insane. And that's exactly why it's so entertaining. A scene where Jason Statham and another actor have a fight that imitates classic Godzilla movies, with rubber masks and cheap cardboard sets? That's in the movie. A scene where Statham gets knocked out and hallucinates that his younger self is on a talk show discussing his reckless behavior? Sure, okay. A scene reminiscent of the over-the-top sex scene from Team America: World Police? You better believe it. It's unbelievable and hilarious and exciting, and I couldn't have enjoyed it more. So on my usual star rating scale, I'd put Crank: High Voltage at three and a half stars and give it a thumbs up.

Unless I end up going to see State of Play, which looks really good, it'll be two weeks before anything I'd be interested in hits theaters. Those two weeks are going to be so boring, I just know it.

Saturday, April 18, 2009; 11:57 a.m.

If you've been following this blog for the last year or so, you've seen me hyping a project titled "Super Saturday 2," the sequel to a similar project I did back in 2005. And after literally eleven months of work, I've finally finished it. The final tally: twenty films...

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Iron Man (2008)
The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Punisher: War Zone (2008)
Blade (1998)
Blade II (2002)
Blade: Trinity (2004)
Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD (1998)
Howard the Duck (1986)
Man-Thing (2005)
Swamp Thing (1982)
The Return of Swamp Thing (1989)
The Dark Knight (2008)
Steel (1997)
Spawn (1997)
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)
The Rocketeer (1991)
Hancock (2008)
Superhero Movie (2008)

I'd had a few other movies lined up, but after a while, I decided that twenty was a nice even number to stop at. Those movies I'd had lined up - The Spirit and Watchmen - are going to be moved to other projects. The Spirit will be part of an eventual double feature with Dick Tracy, while Watchmen is going to be part of a marathon of reviews of movies based on Alan Moore's comic books. These projects won't be too soon, but they'll happen eventually.

I'm just happy to finally have this "Super Saturday 2" crap finally done. And I'll be happy to finally move on and concentrate on other movies. I'm surprised I ever got those reviews of Silent Night, Deadly Night and Jackass Number Two done in the meantime. I've got a few reviews lined up in the future, but they won't happen for at least a month or two. Maybe next time I try one of these really huge projects, I'll stagger out their releases instead of holding onto all of them for a year. This sort of thing can be tiring if you let it get to you.

But have fun reading all of those reviews. If there's ever a "Super Saturday 3," here's hoping that it doesn't take me another year.

Saturday, April 11, 2009; 7:34 p.m.

It's been a little while, but I finally got back into my traditional routine of weekend trips to the movies. It might not last long, since there's only two movies coming out this month that I'm interested in. (But the summer season will be upon us soon enough.) But anyway, this weekend's excursion was to go see Seth Rogan's new flick Observe and Report. Or as I like to call it, "Paul Blart: Mall Cop for grownups."

The final verdict is that it was really, really funny. The plot isn't exactly a cohesive narrative, and there's a few scenes that feel like filler. But Rogan is hilarious, and Anna Faris and Ray Liotta pitch in with some funny work too. So on the whole, I thought the movie was a great comedy that utilizes its R-rating to the fullest. I'll totally give it four stars on my scale of five.

It's kind of a shame that Observe and Report had to come out on the same weekend as Hannah Montana: The Movie, though, because it's going to get annihilated at the box office. And that's a shame too, since while Miley Cyrus is a horrible actress. But I guess that sort of thing will happen, right?

Since I haven't had the opportunity to play Resident Evil 5, and I probably won't until I can get my Xbox 360 fixed, I decided to go back to the old standby of Resident Evil 4. I hadn't picked it up in a while, so I decided to jump back into it last week.

I actually beat the game just a few minutes ago. The final tally: 989 monsters dead, with no deaths befalling yours truly. The total running time was seven hours, 49 minutes, and 47 seconds. The time probably would have been a bit shorter, but I had to look up the solution for one of the game's puzzles. I'm pretty sure that pausing the game doesn't pause the game clock, which really sucks.

But yeah, I beat Resident Evil 4 again. I either need to go buy some new games or start playing the old Resident Evil games again.

Monday, March 30, 2009; 3:19 p.m.

Oh wow, has it really been two weeks since my last post? I can blame it on the fact that nothing really worth talking about has been going on lately. It's been kinda boring these last fifteen or so days. But then I realize that I'm just not very good when it comes to thinking up topics of discussion. I know that nobody reads this blog, and they haven't for a while. But if I can't even be bothered to come up with something to talk about, then that's just bad blogging on my part. So why don't we break that silence with something? Since I don't really have anything new or worthwhile to talk about, I think I'll just go back to that old dead horse and beat it some more while I talk about my writing projects.

Yes, I'm still working on "Super Saturday 2," unfortunately. You probably naturally assumed that since I hadn't posted it yet. But I am making some major headway on it, so don't think I've given up. I actually finished up two reviews in the project over the weekend. That leaves me with only three left to finish. I'm actually still debating on whether or not to add Watchmen to the list, but I think I might wait for the DVD release unless a high-quality copy turns up online. I don't know if I could do the whole thing from memory at this point, plus I'd want to watch it again just to make sure it holds up past the whole "yay, a Watchmen movie!" thrill.

Without Watchmen in the queue, the tally currently stands at seventeen finished, and three left to go. It's taken me nine months to write all of these, and I'm surprised by how the professionals manage to crank out as many as they do. Am I just a slow writer? Or is it just that I end up taking my time since I'm not burdened by the pressures of a deadline? Maybe it's a combination of both? Either way, I doubt I'll do a project of this size again. I know I've said that before, but I mean it. It's too much of a hassle to do something this big, even as a hobby. But since I don't have much left to finish, I'm hoping to have "Super Saturday 2" done soon. I've been avoiding setting a date, but here's hoping that it will be sooner rather than later.

Sunday, March 15, 2009; 6:24 p.m.

You know, I'd started to think that the "torture porn" horror movie trend had died after Hostel 2 flopped a few years back. Yeah, the Saw movies are still around, but as a whole, I thought the trend had died a death as painful as those suffered by the victims in them. But then along came the remake of Wes Craven's The Last House on the Left. I saw it early this afternoon, and while it isn't quite a "torture porn" movie akin to Eli Roth's body of work, I can definitely see similarities.

The basic plot is this: A girl gets raped, beaten, and left for dead, and her attackers end up seeking refuge from a coming storm at the home of their victim's parents. The parents discover their transgression, and take it upon themselves to seek bloody retribution. The first half of the movie is very uncomfortable, especially during the rape scene. I know the scene is supposed to be hard to watch, since that's pretty much the point. But if I were watching it on DVD, I personally would have fast-forwarded through it. Skipping it would lessen its impact, but I just don't like watching rape scenes in movies. At least it gets the villains over as evil, sadistic psychopaths.

But like the "torture porn" movies, the violence in the second half is prolonged, bloody, and brutal. It's unfortunate that the best kills are spoiled in the trailer, but it the movie still had some - gasp! - suspense. Who would have ever thought that would happen in a movie like this? I don't know if I would call this a great movie or even a very good one. But it's acceptable enough to get you through a lazy Sunday afternoon. I guess if I was forced, I'd give it a three out of five rating. I definitely didn't hate it. Now I just need to get around to seeing the original movie. I know, right? What kind of dedicated horror fan am I?

Sunday, March 8, 2009; 10:23 p.m.

So if you thought Watchmen was going to be the only busy part of my weekend, you'd be dead wrong. Also happening over the last couple of days was my sister's wedding. The wedding was last night, so the midnight showing of Watchmen, the rehearsal, setting up the reception, the wedding, and the reception, I've been having my fair share of late-night activities lately.

Anyway, outside of one itty-bitty misstep that really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things, pretty much everything went off without a hitch. That's how it seemed from where I was; It's hard to tell how it looked from the crowd, since I was a groomsman and all. But everything went well, the bride and groom are happy and will be leaving for their honeymoon in a few hours, and everybody's fine, so good times.

With all the crazy stuff pretty much out of the way now, maybe things can go back to as normal as they get around here. It'll be getting used to my sister having a different last name and two stepchildren that will take some time, though.

Friday, March 6, 2009; 4:08 a.m.

Just got back from seeing the midnight preview showing of Watchmen in Danville. The verdict: I enjoyed it. I think I may have to see it a second (or even third?) time to fully wrap my brain around it, but I thought it was really entertaining.

I must admit that I'm a bit embarrassed, though. Assuming there would be a big crowd akin to Star Wars: Episode III and Twilight, as mentioned in my last post, my dad and I arrived at the theater somewhere in the neighborhood of 9:30. Turns out the crowd didn't start arriving until 11:00 or so. So we were sitting all by ourselves in an empty theater lobby for an hour and a half before anything interesting started happening. Way to go, Matt, you big dummy. You got all worried for nothing. You'll know better next time.

Anyway, back to the movie. It's long been said that Watchmen was a movie that couldn't be made. The book was so complex that a cinematic adaptation would not pick up on every little detail and nuance, it was said.But while some things were sadly lost in translation, it is my firm belief that Zack Snyder and crew made the best Watchmen movie they possibly could have. It probably would have worked better as a 12-episode miniseries on HBO or something like that, but what we have here is a movie that hits as many of the high notes as possible, while managing to avoid nearly all of the low notes.

Naturally, some things had to be sacrificed. I have no problem with the absence of "Tales of the Black Freighter," and I miss characters like the two Bernies and Hollis Mason. But as I said, sometimes concessions are forced for the sake of the big picture. And I'm sure the faithful are wondering about my opinion on the ending's changes. While I am fond of the book's climactic reveal of how the villain would execute his master plan, the alterations made in the movie worked. Though the details may be different, the tone and the results still remain the same. And thus, it doesn't bug me.

Watchmen probably won't appeal to everyone. It actually comes across as both a love letter to and a commercial for the book. And if you haven't read the book, you might not get it. But if I may repeat myself, Zack Snyder made the best movie he was able to, and I appreciate his efforts. I don't know if it will knock The Dark Knight off the top of the superhero movie's mountain, but I'll still give it four stars out of my standard five. I'll definitely have to see it again sometime.

But first, sleep. I need it. This has been too much excitement for this late in the evening.

Saturday, February 28, 2009; 11:51 p.m.

Today was a good day. It started out slow and kinda boring, but late in the afternoon, things turned around. And it's all because I went out and bought my ticket to see the midnight showing of Watchmen this coming Thursday night. It just shows how jazzed I am for the movie, since this is the first time I've ever bought a movie ticket this far in advance. I usually buy tickets for movies thirty to sixty minutes before the showing actually begins, but nearly a week ahead of time is something that probably won't happen again for a long while.

Now the notices posted in the theater state that the movie starts at one minute after midnight, while the tickets themselves say five minutes before midnight. Six minutes is no big deal, especially considering I'm going to try and be there plenty early anyway, but I just like things to be coordinated. Know what I mean? And like I said, it probably wouldn't hurt me to get to the theater a couple of hours ahead of time regardless. I've been reading news stories about the last few midnight screenings this theater has done. All of them had at least 650 people, if not more, show up, and people started lining up three or four hours before the movies started. While I'd probably end up being bored to death sitting around for so long in a theater lobby full of people with not much to do besides twiddle my thumbs, I really would like to find a good seat. It's a double-edged sword. And I won't be going to the movie alone, either, so I'll have to run things by my accompaniment. But when it all goes down, I'll make sure to have a report of it here.

You know, I used to pick on the rabid Twilight fans, the insane adolescent girls who went absolutely cuckoo-bananas because it got turned into a movie and just absolutely had to be there opening night and would sing the praises of the book to anyone who'd listen while generally getting on the nerves of everybody who didn't "get it." But then the Watchmen movie comes along and I went and turned into one of them. I'm sorry for ridiculing your annoying overenthusiasm, adolescent Twilight fans. I really am. I totally get it now.

Thursday, February 19, 2009; 3:42 p.m.

I've been thinking about the future a lot lately. Considering where life has taken me over the last year or two, I kinda have to. But I've also been thinking about the future of more trivial, superficial things, specifically my old, original blog hosted by Tripod. Ever since I broke ground on the Blogger version of the MSX a few years ago, the Tripod version has been used to simulcast my Blogger posts and serve as the home for my "Sutton At The Movies" hobby. But the truth is that I only bother updating the simulcast once every few months, and once I run out of server space, I won't even have that to do anymore. And I'm not completely sure what I'd do once that happened.

I could always fork over the money for more server space, but that isn't exactly a viable option at the moment. And due to my admittedly limited HTML skills, I doubt you'll ever see SuttonAtTheMovies.com any time soon. My idea would probably be to just let the old Tripod site stand as "the Ghost of Blogging Past" once I completely run out of room, and put up a notice redirecting everyone over to the Blogger MSX. And as for S@TM, I'd more than likely open up a new blog devoted exclusively to my reviews. It would probably be a pain in the neck to archive the old reviews, but I could live with it.

As it stands right now, it'll be a while before I totally abandon the Tripod blog, even considering how much I neglect it now. It might be several months or even a year before I really have to start worrying about it. But it doesn't hurt to plan ahead, does it?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009; 11:43 p.m.

It's been a while since I last spoke about it, so I figure I might as well take the opportunity to participate in further discussion in regards to "Super Saturday 2." For you newcomers to the MSX, Super Saturday was a project I did a few years back, a cabal of reviews I did with a central theme: movies based on superheroes featured in the pages of DC and Marvel comic books, with Hellboy thrown in for good measure. I started working on a sequel back in June, and since then, I've been wondering just what the heck I'd gotten myself into. I usually take my time when writing reviews, I won't deny that, but for some reason, it feels like it's taking me forever to write these blasted things. Heck, it feels like it takes me up to two weeks before I'll stick some of these movies in my DVD player once I get them from Netflix. I'm usually better than that, but I don't know what my deal is lately. I'm so lame.

But I did finish up a new review on Sunday afternoon, which puts the stack of movies in my "To Do" list at three left. It might go up to six, depending on whether or not I get those others done before the time Punisher: War Zone, The Spirit, and Howard the Duck see their DVD releases next month. (And at the rate I'm going, I'll end up adding them to the "To Do" pile. I'm super-slow.) It might even be seven, depending on how things go in regards to Watchmen. I might end up saving Watchmen for the future, though. I had the idea to do "Super Saturday: The Alan Moore Edition," with reviews of From Hell, V for Vendetta, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and Constantine, with maybe Watchmen tagging along. Though considering Alan Moore's stance on the movies based on his work, the title would probably be "Super Saturday: The _____ _____ Edition" instead. Then again, the whole thing would probably be somewhere on down the road, since I haven't even finished on Super Saturday 2 yet. We'll just have to wait and see how it goes on that one.

So yeah, that's how things are going with the projects. I'm hoping to have Super Saturday 2 done within the next few weeks at best, and then I can get back to my old routine of doing reviews whenever I feel like it. I miss doing stuff like my reviews of Silent Night, Deadly Night and Jackass Number Two, just because I could work on them at my leisure without it feeling like a chore. But I'll be through with the ones on my plate soon enough. And whenever I finally finish it, I hope you readers enjoy it...

...or else.

Friday, February 13, 2009; 11:53 p.m.

Today is a special occasion here at the MSX. No, it isn't some kind of anniversary or milestone or anything like that. Instead, yours truly is celebrating that special day known as Friday the 13th. As someone who has been a fan of horror movies since grade school, Friday the 13th is always kind of a big day to me. Not as big as Halloween, but still. It's kind of a bummer that Friday the 13th is starting to lose part of its notoriety, especially since most cable channels don't really show the Friday the 13th movies anymore. Sure, Chiller is showing a marathon of Friday the 13th: The Series, but the day belongs to Jason, not some two-bit TV show that nobody remembers. Back when USA Up All Night and MonsterVision were in my regular viewing regimen, they would air two or three of them on every Friday the 13th. But alas, those days were years ago. Yeah, I own them all on DVD, but it just isn't the same.

Actually, I take that back. I own them all but one. And that brings me to my main topic of discussion for this post. Not only is today another Friday the 13th, but it's another notch in the belt of Jason Voorhees, thanks to today's release of the remake of Friday the 13th. And naturally, I had to make sure I saw it tonight. Normally, I'd wait until Saturday or Sunday to see a movie, but seeing Friday the 13th on Saturday the 14th or Sunday the 15th just doesn't feel right. You have to see Friday the 13th on Friday the 13th. Some people might not get it, but I do, and that's what matters to me.

It was a pain in the neck to see this thing, though. With my dad along for the ride, I had planned on seeing the 7:30 showing at the theater over in Danville. But just my luck, every single showing had sold out. Yeah, happy Friday the 13th, alright. But I was absolutely committed to seeing the movie, it was decided that we would start Plan B: go to the theater over in Bardstown. So we piled back in the car and headed on our way to Bardstown, which wouldn't have been too bad if we'd started from home instead of Danville. But it's an hour's drive from Danville to Bardstown, so we ended up being on the road for all of ninety minutes just to see a movie. And since Bardstown's 7:30 showing had sold out too, so we were stuck waiting around until 10:00. So there was ninety minutes of driving and another ninety minutes of sitting around. Throw in another 35 minutes or so to come home, and I didn't get home until around 12:30 in the morning. (Yeah, I changed the date and time on this post so I could have it up on Friday night instead of Saturday morning. What're you gonna do about it, huh?)

Anyway, about the movie. I actually liked it, a lot. I thought it was a lot of fun, and totally worth the seven-dollar ticket price. I didn't feel let down or disappointed in the slightest. The movie plays up all of the franchise's stereotypes - sex, drugs, rock and roll, and an unstoppable killing machine - without becoming a crappy parody of Hatchet, which I felt made the movie a lot more entertaining. And folks, the new Jason is awesome. I know every Friday the 13th fan out there will sing the praises of Kane Hodder until the end of days, but Derek Mears did a fantastic job behind the mask. If and when they make a sequel, I hope they bring him back.

The rest of the cast all play the clichéd one-dimensional character constructs, but they all do the work that's asked of them and I can't complain about them. The kills are really well done, and I especially liked how writers Damien Shannon and Mark Swift have created a remake that also works as something of a sequel. Not only is it a good starting point for new fans to the series, but you could honestly watch the original Friday the 13th from 1980 and the remake back to back, and the remake would actually serve as an effective Friday the 13th, Part 2. Something like that could be used to rope in the anti-remake crowd, I guess.

But for what it's worth, I'm all for the Friday the 13th remake. I doubt my opinion will be a deciding factor in whether or not you'll be seeing it, since you probably already have your mind made up one way or the other by now. But I'll definitely give it my seal of approval with three and a half stars and a thumbs up. And here's hoping that we don't have to wait another five and a half years to see good ol' Jason again.

Sunday, February 8, 2009; 5:10 p.m.

Howdy, folks, and welcome to the month of February here at the the MSX. Yes, I know we're already a week deep into the month, but humor me, okay?

Anyway, I headed out to the theater this afternoon, as is my wont. The movie of choice: Taken. I wasn't really for sure if I wanted to see Taken theatrically, but my dad wanted to. And since my dad isn't usually the kind of guy to choose the movie when he and I go see one together, I figured I'd tag along. I'm glad I did too, because it actually turned out to be a pretty entertaining movie.

The movie's plot is incredibly simple: Liam Neeson's daughter is kidnapped and sold into a prostitution ring, so he flies to Paris and kicks the crap out of everything and everyone between him and his daughter's safety. It's relatively light on story and character development and heavy on action, but I can't really say I expected anything from a movie written by the guys who gave us the Transporter trilogy. But as a pure action thriller, Taken is thoroughly entertaining. Liam Neeson is really good in the role, which doesn't require much out him outside of looking really pissed and beating people up. And the action, though struggling through the somewhat shaky cinematography, is really exciting. Taken is a perfectly serviceable action movie that's definitely worth checking out. So on my Five-Star Sutton Scale, I'll give it three and a half stars and a thumbs-up.

And now to play the waiting game until Friday the 13th comes out...

Saturday, January 31, 2009; 5:21 p.m.

I made another trip to the movies this afternoon, this time to see The Wrestler. I had to make the one-hour journey to the Fayette Mall theater in Lexington to see it, thanks to the movie's limited release, but I'm happy I got to see it theatrically. And I must confess that, like Gran Torino, I saw The Wrestler a month ago thanks to the glorious creation that is the Internet. But I liked it so much that I had to see the legitimate release as soon as it opened up anywhere near me. So just what did I think about it?

I liked it. A lot. Part of that could be because I'm a wrestling fan, and that's the main reason I wanted to see it in the first place. But as it turns out, it's a great movie from start to finish. Honestly, the movie didn't have to be about pro wrestling to tell its story. It could have been about football or baseball, and there wouldn't have been any substantial differences. The fact that the lead character is a wrestler is completely inconsequential. It is a movie about an athlete whose unwavering desire to participate in his sport of choice strains his relationships with those he cares about and threatens his own life. One could argue that it's a cousin to Rocky Balboa, only about a washed-up wrestler instead of a washed-up boxer.

Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei have received a lot of positive buzz regarding their performances, as evidenced by their Golden Globe and Oscar nominations. And both of them, especially Rourke, are thoroughly fantastic. But while Tomei is charming and likable in the role, she's completely out-shined by Rourke. You never really get the sense that Rourke is playing a character, but you instead feel like you're watching the life and times of Randy "The Ram" Robinson. Rourke portrays the character's heartbreaking existence in such a way that you can't help but feel for him. Rourke has created a living, breathing person out of Randy Robinson, and if you need any reason whatsoever to see The Wrestler, he's it.

I honestly doubt that The Wrestler will appeal to pro wrestling's critics, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a movie with seeing. It is most definitely one of 2008's best movies, and I can't recommend it more. I'm going to give it four stars on the Five-Star Sutton Scale, along with a big thumbs-up. And if Jakks can release a line of action figures based on the Rocky movies, is it too much to ask for a Randy "The Ram" Robinson action figure?

Monday, January 26, 2009; 1:38 a.m.

In my last post, I spoke of how I was victorious in the main portion of Resident Evil 4. And to continue that story, I just beat the "Separate Ways" minigame ten minutes ago. The final stats: 323 enemies killed, seven deaths on my part, and a total playing time of three hours, 29 minutes, and 37 seconds.

As has been evidenced by the almost excessive number of times I've made reference to it lately, I'd really been looking forward to playing "Separate Ways." I'd been wanting to play it since it first turned up on the PlayStation 2 version of Resident Evil 4 way back in 2005. And now that I've finally gotten the opportunity to play the game, I'm satisfied. It's a lot of fun, which might be the best compliment I can give it. It's a quick little game to get through, but I can definitely see myself playing it again.

Besides, I kinda feel obligated to play the whole thing again. Otherwise, all those newly-unlocked special features would go to waste. And I just can't have that.

Sunday, January 25, 2009; 12:51 p.m.

I'm a bit of a night owl. It's not uncommon for me to stay up until two or three in the morning for no good reason. But I actually got something accomplished by doing that. At 4:36 AM this morning, I beat the main game in Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition. I know what you're thinking: "Geez, Matt, you stayed up to 4:30 in the morning so you could beat a video game?" Yeah, I did, got a problem with it?

Seriously, though, I'm glad I beat the game. My final statistics were 811 enemies killed, seventeen deaths on my part, and a final running time of eleven hours, sixteen minutes, and 27 seconds. I've done better, but considering that I did it the old-fashioned way without any of the super-powerful weapons with infinite ammo that I carry around in the Gamecube version, I think I did pretty good. I probably could have shortened that time if I'd skipped more of the cutscenes than what I did, but I guess it's too late to go back and do something about it now.

But anyway, I've beaten the game and unlocked all the little side missions and minigames and all that stuff. I still need to unlock all the cool new weapons, but I'm sure I'll get around to that eventually. But if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go jump into those extra features. I totally want to check those out.

It's been right around a week since I made my last post in regards to my adventures into Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition. And to be perfectly honest, I hadn't really picked it up since that post. And I was on such a roll, too. But I decided to return to battle again today, and stayed glued to the TV for about four hours of combined playing time. Yeah, I know that may sound a wee bit excessive, but I've got both time and monsters to kill.

Since making my arrival at the island, I've taken a ride on the flatbed bulldozer, had a knife fight, made it through the hall of lasers, defeated "it," and won the boss battle against Krauser on the first try. I left the game after beating Krauser, and after a few more areas and one last fight against the big bad, I'll have completed the main game. And from there, I'll be moving onward to the extra games. (I am so looking forward to the "Separate Ways" game.)

But I'm pretty sure I can have the game beaten soon. Maybe over the weekend, if I don't slack off like I did this past week. And I know I haven't been doing as good a job of keeping a Resident Evil war journal like I have in times past, but the game is pretty much the same. Outside of the controls, which feel a lot more fluid than the Gamecube version, there's really nothing new to talk about so far. That will probably change when I arrive at "Separate Ways," because I'm sure I'll have more to say then.

But when that happens, it'll happen. Let's just get there first.

Last November, I marked the fifty-third anniversary of the invention of the flux capacitor, the tool that Dr. Emmett Brown and Marty McFly used to become time travelers. But today marks the anniversary of perhaps an even more important creation.

On this day twenty-five years ago, a force was born. It was a force that would define a generation, that would inspire men, women, and children to train, say their prayers, and eat their vitamins. It was a force known simply as "Hulkamania."

It was on January 23, 1984, that Hulk Hogan defeated the Iron Sheik to win the World Wrestling Federation Championship for the first time. Hulkamania was born that day, and with it came the '80s wrestling boom and, more importantly, WrestleMania. And I'd be willing to bet that pro wrestling might not even be around today if it weren't for Hulkamania.

So whatcha gonna do, brother, when Hulkamania continues to run wild on you?

I think that I can call today a good day when it comes to my cinematic experiences. Prior to today, I'd never seen a 3-D movie theatrically. I'd barely even seen one on video, because the 3-D segment of Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare is pretty lame. But that changed early this afternoon, when I headed out to see the remake of the '80s slasher movie My Bloody Valentine. I enjoyed the original movie, and all the advertisements for the remake had me excited, so I knew I had to see it. The only real hassle about the whole thing was that the only theater around showing it in 3-D was an hour's drive away. And if I wanted to see the movie the way it was intended to be seen. I'd have to take the journey and pay the offensively inflated ticket prices of Lexington's Fayette Mall theater. Seriously their ticket prices are double what the local theaters here charge. That's just nuts.

Anyway, about the movie. I don't know how the 2-D version will be able to pull some of the gags off, like things being thrown at the camera and things of that nature. But since I got to see the 3-D version, nothing is lost in translation, and it makes for a very fun experience. And it helps that the movie is a really solid slasher movie too. It's definitely a better throwback to the '80s style than that overrated piece of crap Hatchet. It benefits from a solid cast, some quality scares and violence, and neat direction. The movie's final twist had me expecting to hear the Saw theme song, considering how it detailed just how the killer was able to pull everything off, but I can't say that I had any major problems with the movie.

I know all the other horror fans on the Internet like to rag on remakes, but I felt that My Bloody Valentine turned out to be pretty good. Believe it or not, I think I actually liked it more than I did the original. I believe I'll give it three and a half stars out of the usual five, along with a thumbs up. And I might actually have to go scope out the 2-D version, just to see how it holds up.

Following up on my post from a week and half ago, I've been delving deeper into the realm of Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition. I've finally made it through the castle and am on my way to the island war zone. And after years of having to swap discs at this point on the Gamecube version, it feels weird not having to on the Wii version. I can't really explain that weirdness, but it's there.

But yeah, I've made it to the island war zone, and I'm having fun along the way. You can't go wrong when you're taking a shotgun to psychos and monsters left and right. You'd be surprised at just how much entertainment you can derive from freezing a giant mutant with liquid nitrogen and blowing him up with a rocket launcher. I could do that sort of thing for days. But now it's time to move onward to the island, and to face the creatures that lie ahead. I can't wait to cause all kinds of havoc.

Sunday, January 11, 2009; 6:15 p.m.

It's no secret that I love movies, so my first venture to the theater of the year is always something I look forward to. Today marked my first run to the movies of 2009, with the movie of choice being Gran Torino. I already say Gran Torino a month ago through a bootleg I downloaded off the Internet, but my dad wanted to see it, so I tagged along to keep him company. Besides, I wanted to see the movie on a theater screen instead of a computer monitor. So yeah, we went to see Gran Torino, and we both absolutely loved it.

Everything I said about Gran Torino in my mini-review last month sticks, because it's a fantastic movie from beginning to end. Clint Eastwood is fantastic both in front of and behind the camera, and his Hmong supporting actors are all up to the task asked of them. I can't recommend the movie enough; if you get the chance to see it, go for it. The four-star rating I gave it last month stands, as does my seal of approval.

Now if only Eastwood would make Dirty Harry 6...

Saturday, January 10, 2009; 7:52 p.m.

While I'm still in the midst of working on my forever-in-the-making "Super Saturday 2" project, I managed to free up a little time to write a new review to share with you, my dear readers.

The movie in question is Jackass Number Two, the second movie based on the MTV series. The review is a bit on the short side, I will confess. But considering that Jackass Number Two isn't so much an actual movie than it is a 95-minute home movie about people acting stupid, I'm sure you can forgive the review's length.

But go check that out, while I return to my work on Super Saturday 2. I've only got three movies left to write after I finish the one I'm currently working on. That is, unless Punisher: War Zone and The Spirit turn up online or on DVD, then it will be five left. But I'd better go get back to work on it if I'm ever going to finish it at all. I've been working on it since June of last year, so I really need to hurry it up.

I'm sure I'll be done with it eventually. Even if it takes me another six or seven months, I will.

Sunday, January 4, 2009; 10:29 p.m.

If you've been a regular reader of this blog for the last few years, you may or may not remember a series of posts I made during the end of 2006 and beginning of 2007, where I detailed my many adventures in the Gamecube version of Resident Evil 4. It was good times back then, but my absolute devotion to the game cooled eventually. But just recently, I've gotten back into the game.

I received the updated Wii edition of Resident Evil 4 for Christmas, and I'm remembering just why I love this game so much. I've been playing it off and on for the last week or so, and arrived at the castle section of the game just a few minutes ago, and it's just like the good ol' days. I have to admit that starting from the beginning without my usual accouterments (read: my big guns with infinite ammo) is rough, but I've made it in the past, so I'm sure I'll succeed again.

I'm especially looking forward to beating this version of the game. The Wii edition boasts all of the special extra features that made me envious of the owners of the game's PS2 version. I can't wait to play all of the fun little subplots and secondary games I've been missing out on for the last few years. And I still need to go buy Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles too, because I'm a sucker for anything bearing the Resident Evil name.

And really, you should be too.

Sunday, January 4, 2009; 12:58 p.m.

Since 2004, it's been customary for me to do what I call the "Sutton At The Movies" Achievement Awards. For the uninitiated, it's just a fun little thing I like to do every year to recognize the best and the worst of the movies I had the opportunity to watch over the previous twelve months. And now it's time for me to do this for the year that was 2008. So let's jump in, shall we? Keep in mind that these are all my own opinions, and that your mileage may vary.

Best Movie: The Dark Knight
Best Director: Darren Aronofsky, The Wrestler
Best Actor: Robert Downey Jr., Iron Man and Tropic Thunder
Best Actress: Anne Hathaway, Get Smart
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Best Supporting Actress: Ahney Her, Gran Torino
Best Actor/Actress Playing a Fictional Version of His/Herself: Neil Patrick Harris, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
Best Cameo: Tom Cruise, Tropic Thunder
Best Hero: Sylvester Stallone, Rambo
Best Villain: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Best On-Screen Team: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, and the voice of Seth MacFarlane, Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Best Horror Movie: The Strangers
Best Comedy: Pineapple Express
Best Fantasy Movie: Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Best Animated Movie: Wall-E
Best Sports Movie: The Wrestler
Best Action Movie: Rambo
Best Direct-To-Video Movie: Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead
Best Movie Based on a Novel: The Ruins
Best Movie Based on a Comic Book: The Dark Knight
Best Movie Based on a Television Show: Get Smart
Best Action Sequence: The Hulk demolishes the Army on a college campus, The Incredible Hulk
Best Chase Sequence: Jason Statham follows a speeding car while riding a bicycle, Transporter 3
Best Fight: Seth Rogan and James Franco vs. Danny McBride, Pineapple Express
Best Original Song: "The Wrestler" by Bruce Springsteen, The Wrestler
Best Sequel: The Dark Knight
Best Remake: Bangkok Dangerous (Yeah, that's right, I said it!)
Worst Remake: One Missed Call
Worst Movie: One Missed Call
Most Disturbing Scene: a zombified Jenna Jameson shoots billiard balls from her naughty parts, Zombie Strippers
Grossest Scene: the leg amputation, The Ruins
Best Use of a Song in a Movie: "Can't Smile Without You" by Barry Manilow, Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Best Magic Trick: The Joker's disappearing pencil, The Dark Knight
"Truth In Advertising" Award for Most Appropriate Title: a tie between Zombie Strippers and Zack and Miri Make a Porno
"No Credit Where Credit’s Due" Award for Biggest Glory Hog: J.J. Abrams hogging practically all of Cloverfield's glory, despite neither writing or directing it. Sure, he might have come up with the concept, but that doesn't mean he’s the sole creative force behind the movie.
Stupidest Viral Marketing: Cloverfield. Seriously, none of it made any sense, and none of it contributed to the movie whatsoever.
Best Product Placement: the Nintendo Wii in Tropic Thunder
Best MacGuffin: the Gran Torino from Gran Torino
Most Gratuitous Use of Nonsensically Random Pop Culture References: Meet The Spartans and Disaster Movie
Most Gratuitous Use of the Word "Asshole": Hancock
Most Gratuitous Use of Crappy Swedish Pop Music: Mamma Mia!
Most Likely to Make Uwe Boll Look Talented: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, directors of Meet The Spartans and Disaster Movie
Most Likely to Incite Suicide In Heterosexual Men: Sex and the City: The Movie
Most Likely to Incite Suicide In People Sick of the Disney Channel: High School Musical 3
Most Likely to Prove That Teenage Girls Will Watch Anything That’s Marketed To Them: Twilight
Most Likely to Be Completely Forgotten About by the General Public: Never Back Down and Redbelt
"Why Do These Movies Exist?" Award: Meet The Spartans, Step Up 2: The Streets, Witless Protection, and Disaster Movie

And that's it for the 2008 Sutton At The Movies Achievement Awards. It turned out to be quite a year, and here's hoping that 2009 will be a pretty good year for movies too.

Thursday, January 1, 2009; 12:00 a.m. - Happy New Year!

It's official: The year that was 2008 has ended, and 2009 has begun. It's going to sound like a cliché, but 2008 really did fly by. I mean, it feels like it was just yesterday that we were saying goodbye to 2007. Did Father Time hit the fast-forward button or something?

I hope you readers, all three of you, have a great year. Mine had its ups and downs, but overall, I'd call 2008 a success. I can't complain too much. After all, I did achieve something I had resolved to do, so I have that going for me. I'm just hoping that the new year will be as good to me as the last one was. We have 365 days ahead of us, so I'm sure that at least one of them will be worth bragging about once 2010 rolls around. That's what I'm hoping for, anyway. But then again, isn't everybody?

But happy new year, folks. Let's see where 2009 takes us.

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