| THE 2004 ARCHIVE |
| A Year in the Life of L. Matthew Sutton |
Thursday, December 30, 2004; 6:18 p.m.
So there's less than 36 hours left in 2005, and I'm trying to think of something to talk about.
I'm glad I live where I do, where the only things I have to worry about are tornadoes (which very rarely come through my neighborhood, anyway) and the occasional thunderstorm. I just can't begin to imagine how horrible it must be for those affected by the earthquake and tsunami. My heart goes out to them.
2004's been a weird year. I know I've spent 90% of it in front of a computer screen or at a movie theater, but I'm not gonna complain. Those are two places I like to be. I also developed an affinity for White Castle cheeseburgers this year, too. So I don't really have anything bad to say about my 2004. But now I'm ready for 2005. I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready.
One of the DVDs I picked up the other day was the Chris Benoit DVD. While I don't think the actual documentary is as good as The Rise And Fall of ECW (then again, what is?), the gold here is in the extra features. I never thought I'd see matches from New Japan Pro Wrestling on a WWE release. I'm not familiar with this style of Japanese wrestling (considering I've only seen a few random death matches from Japan, and that's it) but these matches are absolutely awesome. The DVD definitely lives up to its reputation as being great. I just have to track down the Eddie Guerrero DVD now, and I'll be all set. I still think the Benoit DVD could have used the 2004 Royal Rumble match on it, but that's a minor complaint on a great DVD.
I spoke the other day about how Maury Povich's show makes me stupid. I can say the same thing about Passions. They've been doing a storyline about two star-crossed lovers for years now, and every time it looks like they'll get to be together, something happens to muck it up. It's like the soap opera equivalent of the old Tommy Dreamer/Raven feud in ECW. It's just going to keep going and going and going and going with no foreseeable payoff. And it's not like the story will end if one of them quits the show, like the Dreamer/Raven feud. They can just hire a new actor to play the role. Geez, I'm getting sick of this crap. The stupidity than is Passions is really rubbing off on me.
I hear Regis Philbin is hosting the New Year's bash in Times Square this year, and I'm of the opinion that anyone other than Dick Clark hosting is just weird. They should start cranking out Dick Clark robots on an assembly line so this doesn't happen again. Or maybe the Dick Clark we know and love was a robot all along, and he just had a slipped gear. I'm on to you, Dick Clark! I know your secret!
Once again, I'd like to thank my readers who make the pilgrimage here to read me. I know I don't have much to say a lot of the time, but if I occasionally illicit a laugh or some other reaction from you, then I've succeeded. Thank you for your patronage here at Sutton's House of Chickin 'N Waffles, and I'll see you in the 2K5.
Sutton out.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004; 2:05 p.m.
Caught Meet The Fockers last night. Funny stuff, three and a half stars, "Sutton At The Movies" says check it out.
Christmas swag acquired: lots of DVDs, the Resident Evil: Apocalypse soundtrack, a book adaptation of the Resident Evil Zero video game (I'm a big Resident Evil fan, sue me), a CKY T-shirt, and True Crime: Streets of LA for my Cube.
And now for something a little different, the inaugural "Sutton At The Movies" Achievement Awards. Basically, I just give out random awards to movies from 2004.
And to steal an idea from a blog I faithfully read, I would like to take the time to thank my great sponsors...
Thank you to the sponsors, and most of all, the readers. Without you, I doubt I'd be doing this whole blog thing. You guys rock!
Sutton out.
Saturday, December 25, 2004; 3:38 p.m.
Merry Christmas! It's a celebration! With excitement! And pizzazz! And friggin' pomp! And drinking! Drinking and revenge!
Wait, I think I just got Christmas mixed up with the feast of Alvis. But if you're Christmas celebration features excitement, pizzazz, and friggin' pomp, that's one awesome celebration.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004; 9:35 p.m.
Happy birthday, dad. :)
In addition to being my dad's birthday, it's also Tuesday, which means that a slew of movies are hitting the home video market. I actually have a review of one of them, Shaun of the Dead. So read the review, then go buy the DVD. It's a total marketing thing.
I also have a review for The Rock's remake of Walking Tall.
Have fun reading the reviews. That's all I've got for now. Sutton out.
Saturday, December 18, 2004; 2:24 p.m.
Kentucky 60, Louisville 58. That pretty much sums it up how I feel. :)
I finally did get to see Blade: Trinity, and I enjoyed it. Unfortunately, it seemed like it had a real lack of focus. You'd think Dracula (or "Drake," as the characters call him for some reason) would be the main villain here, but no, it's Parker Posey and her goons. They get Dracula with the intention of using his blood to create an Aryan race of vampires, but that subplot is almost completely ignored. Also ignored after one quick scene is what the characters called the "Vampire Final Solution," which entailed a warehouse in the middle of nowhere filled with comatose homeless people in giant ziplock bags having their blood drained. Most of the cast is just kinda there, though I did like Ryan Reynolds and Triple H. Reynolds steals most of the scenes he's in (which is okay with me because I liked Van Wilder), and ol' HHH was better than expected. I certainly wasn't expecting his character to have an affection for a tiny vampire dog, but it just added to the character's charm. Two and a half stars for Blade: Trinity.
They rolled the trailer for Star Wars: Episode 3 in front of Blade: Trinity. Since I don't feel like having to kick the snot out of a bunch of nerds who've been camping out in front of the theater since before the movie started filming, I might just wait a few weeks after it's released. I do want to see it, despite only seeing bits and pieces of the other two prequels (even though I own DVDs of them both). I just needs to see me some Darth Vader.
I've been watching Maury Povich's talk show lately, and I've discovered something. It's one of the stupidest talk shows in the history of ever. My IQ drops 30 points every time I watch it, but I can't force myself to turn away. If only there was something better on TV at 4:00 in the afternoon...
...wait, I own 150+ DVDs. If only I'd realized that sooner, thousands of brain cells would still be alive. My brain looks like that one episode of The Twilight Zone, where Burgess Meredith is the last man left on earth and he finds a huge library still standing, then he breaks his glasses. That episode, you know the one. That episode ruled.
These commercials for the new Top Gun special edition DVD have got that Kenny Loggins song stuck from the movie in my head. You know the one, "Danger Zone." That song is too catchy for its own good.
I hate having to wait until the end of January to see new episodes of Smallville. Stupid winter hiatuses.
I was watching the music video for "The End Of Heartache" by Killswitch Engage (which is a great song, by the way), and I noticed something. Is it just me, or does the lead singer look like Tony Todd? Wait a second... how many of you know who Tony Todd or Killswitch Engage are? I do go crazy with the vague references.
Hey, somebody else has an Amazon wishlist too! Go buy her stuff!
A Kentucky newspaper ran an article recently about who people preferred, University of Kentucky alumnus Ashley Judd or ESPN commentator Dick Vitale. I think they even ran a poll on who readers would rather spend the evening with. If someone would turn down Ashley Judd to be with Dick Vitale (with the exception of Mrs. Vitale), I weep for society.
I have nothing left to say that is either relevant or true, thus this post comes to a close. Sutton out.
Friday, December 10, 2004; 9:10 p.m.
Hey, folks. It's been a while since I last posted, and the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. The rumors that Libby are smart, however... those are true.
If you've been wondering where I've been lately, I have a perfectly good reason: I was out of town. Wednesday night, I went up to the bright lights and big city of Louisville, Kentucky, to visit the hell out of some friends I hadn't seen in months. Without going into detail (since there's not really a lot to say about it, in all honesty), it was a 24-hour party with a bunch of geeks. Warcraft-loving geeks. Good times.
I came home from Louisville on Thursday night with some minor swag too. Picked up a CD by a European rock band none of you have heard of ("Deep Shadows And Brilliant Highlights" by HIM), and I scored the new "The Rise and Fall of ECW" DVD. As a diehard fan of ECW, I'm absolutely loving the DVD. I still don't like how WWE replaced the original music with in-house stuff they wouldn't have to pay for, but eh, what can you do? The DVD is probably the best that WWE has ever produced, ever. Anyone who has even the slightest of interest in ECW should buy it. It's definitely worth the 19 bucks I paid for it (hooray for Wal-Mart's low prices), and as an ECW fan and a fan of independent wrestling in general, this is definitely the best wrestling DVD I own.
My feelings for the new ECW DVD can be summed up in one word: "wow." This is not only the best ECW DVD I've seen (I still haven't gotten my hands on the Chris Benoit or Eddie Guerrero DVDs yet), but the feature alone ranks up there with Beyond The Mat as a great pro wrestling documentary. It hits almost every major ECW moment, and even a few obscure ones. I never even expected them to even touch on the New Jack/Mass Transit incident. This is so in-depth, I couldn't believe it. They even gave Hat Guy five seconds of glory. I'd have worked in references to Sign Guy, Faith No More Guy, and quite possibly Sunglasses Guy (the Shemp of the ECW Arena Guys), but that's just me. I'm happy they at least highlighted Hat Guy. Good for him.
What also stunned me was this is a WWE DVD that's (for the most part) uncensored. Only once have I seen a performer saying one of the seven dirty words you can't say on TV without getting bleeped (Kurt Angle saying "bullshit" on the Invasion pay-per-view back in 2001), but the only bleeps in this one are there because of they're on the master tape. If there's no bleep on the master tape, then there's no bleep on the DVD. Uncensored ECW is good for you and good for me.
I've got the Ric Flair and "Rise and Fall of ECW" DVDs, so all I need now are the Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero DVDs. I want the Benoit one just for the falls-count-anywhere match with Kevin Sullivan. I've only seen bits and pieces of it, but I love what I've seen. Besides, I'm a huge mark for falls-count-anywhere matches. My only complaint with the Benoit DVD is the lack of the 2004 Royal Rumble match. I can see why they left it off (time issues, and whatnot), but still, it'd be nice to have.
I wanted to catch Blade: Trinity during my excursion to Louisville, but didn't get the chance. Maybe soon, I hope. And I still haven't seen Blade 2. I should get around to that sometime, I guess. I haven't figured out why Triple H's character in Blade: Trinity needs metal fangs. I bet the movie explains it, but it's fun to speculate. Maybe he's trying to be the vampire Flavor Flav, but has his fronts on a payment plan. Maybe he had to get false fangs after losing his real ones to the crippling disease known as gingivitis. Maybe they came from an ill-fated Marvel crossover where he bit Colossus from the X-Men. Or maybe ol' Triple H thought his trusty sledgehammer looked awfully yummy. Whatever the reason behind them, those metal choppers look really, really weird.
Recently added to "Blatant Movie Shilling": High Tension, a French horror movie named Haute Tension overseas. From what I've heard, the movie is insanely violent, and the plot is very similar to the Dean Koontz novel Intensity. But it's a foreign movie that's rated NC-17 (that is, if they don't cut it to get an R before it's released), and five bucks says you'll have to wait until the DVD release to see it. How many theaters show foreign movies rated NC-17? Also added to "Blatant Movie Shilling": the Tom Cruise/Steven Speilberg remake of War of the Worlds. From the look of the trailer (which you can see at the web site), it'll be awesome.
After going through my DVD collection and my Amazon wishlist, I've come to the realization that my DVD addiction has reached massive proportions. Feel free to buy me some new ones. :-P
Wow, this post has gone a lot longer than I expected it to. If you're still reading, you get a cookie. Sutton out.
Friday, December 3, 2004; 5:02 p.m.
Happy birthday to my grandma, who's 92 today.
I see way too many movies. Many of you can attest to this, and it's true. I caught National Treasure (that new Nicholas Cage/Jerry Bruckheimer movie), and it wasn't too bad at all. I prefer Con Air or Gone In 60 Seconds over this one, and this certainly could have used some improvement, but I liked it for what it was. Five bucks says somebody is gonna see this movie and try to steal the Declaration of Independence and look for a treasure map on the back, or go hunting for gold under a church on Wall Street and Broadway in New York City. Somebody's stupid enough to try it. But anyway, three and a half stars for National Treasure.
I've been downloading a lot of movies lately too (many of which I want to review for "Sutton At The Movies" one day). Methinks I should go search for a new hard drive for all my movies and MP3's. Too bad I can't scratch up a few hundred bucks, or else I'd just buy a new computer.
I've also recently decided that all this baseball steroid abuse is just crazy. And why do baseball players need steroids anyway? Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs, and he wasn't exactly the paragon of an in-shape athlete. Sure, ballparks are bigger now than they were in Babe's heyday, but these guys are millionaires. They can buy gyms full of workout equipment and bulk up that way. If Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron can hit 700+ homers without steroids, and Sammy Sosa can beat Roger Maris without various performance enhancing drugs, then anyone should be able to. And people wonder why I don't watch baseball.
Christmas is coming up. Presents are welcomed, nee demanded. Get me something, I'm poor. :-P
Meanwhile, I've been putting some serious thought into buying a PlayStation 2 lately. If I did, it'd be my first non-Nintendo console. As a lifelong Nintendo fanboy, that would take some getting used to, but I guess I could get by that. Besides, I'm getting sick and tired of the Cube missing out on great games like Grand Theft Auto and the Smackdown series. I wanted to get the new Fight Club game, but I can't, because the stupid thing is exclusive to the Xbox and PS2. Stupid PS2 and Xbox! I want good games too! Why must everyone hate the Cube?
Anyway... Sutton out.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004; 11:38 p.m.
Happy day-before-Thanksgiving, everybody. Remember, thirty-one days until Christmas, and thirty-eight days until 2005.
One more week, and one more trip to the movies. I caught The Incredibles and The Spongebob Squarepants Movie today, and the only thing they have in common was the fact that they're both animated. The Spongebob movie was really out there. Imagine if you watched a 90-minute episode of the show while hopped up on acid, and there you go. As is the case with the commercials, the David Hasselhoff cameo is the best part of the movie, and other than that, I can't really recommend it to anyone but diehard fans of the show. Meanwhile, I really enjoyed The Incredibles. Despite the hype, I went in not expecting much (because I didn't think too highly of Finding Nemo), but I really enjoyed it. The ending seemed just kinda thrown together, but that's my only complaint. Two and a half stars for The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, and four stars for The Incredibles.
I'm a little disappointed that the WB showed A Walk To Remember instead of Smallville. I like A Walk To Remember, but I'd rather watch Smallville. I already own the Walk To Remember DVD, so why would I want to watch it on TV? It's all edited and has commercials and all that other crap. The WB should just sell Smallville to UPN so I don't have to bother watching that stupid network at all. They've only had three good shows... one got sent to UPN and eventually cancelled, one got outright cancelled, and the third one is Smallville. Stupid WB and their stupid crappy shows. First they go and cancel all their good cartoons, then they narrow down their good prime-time shows down to one. I just want to kick WB in the face. A kick! To the face! Of the WB!
Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, and Fantasia Barrino had an "American Idols Sing Christmas Carols" special tonight... and why? Isn't the day before Thanksgiving a wee bit early to start with the Christmas caroling? Can't they wait until the day AFTER Thanksgiving? Geez, at this rate, they're gonna start doing Christmas stuff two days after Easter. And what's the point of winning American Idol anyway? No matter when you get voted off the show, you still get to release an album. And you don't even need talent as long as you have a boatload of enthusiasm. (I'm looking at you, William Hung.)
So... what am I gonna talk about now? I've burnt myself out on horror (something must be wrong with me), so how about some wrestling?
The extra features for the upcoming Rob Van Dam DVD (which will see store shelves on January 4, 2005) have been released, and they are:
Sixteen full matches? Holy crap, that's a lot of matches. And I'm still bummed that even though he was ECW's most over wrestler at one point, Heyman never gave him a world title run before the promotion went the way of the dinosaur. Instead, he got two years of their TV title, and he only lost that because he broke his leg. But regardless, from the sound of the special features alone, I just may have to pick this DVD up.
I can't think of anything else I want to say. Sutton out.
Thursday, November 18, 2004; 8:05 p.m.
Outside of a wonky DSL connection (which is being causes by a problem with my phone line, or so I'm told), everything is doing A-OK here. I think my AIM might have a problem not related to my DSL, so if you see me on MSN or Yahoo and not AIM, my AIM went kablooey. Just say hi through one of the other messengers, or call me if you have my phone number and don't feel like running up your phone bill. :-P
That ECW DVD is looking and sounding really good, but with no money, it'll have to wait until when I get some dead presidents in December. I hate waiting. Waiting sucks. I want that DVD now. Now!
I've gotten hooked on Smallville recently, even though I'm more of a Batman fan. I'm just waiting for Bruce Wayne to make an appearance in Smallville. They already had The Flash on there, so Batman could be next. They could even get Christian Bale to show up as Bruce Wayne to promote Batman Begins.
A quick shot of horror movie headlines... Any hope for Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Ash or Evil Dead 4 is probably dead now, as Variety reports that Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell, and Rob Tapert are teaming up to produce a remake of their 1982 cult classic The Evil Dead. From what I gather, Raimi won't be returning to the director's chair for this one, and I doubt Campbell will be reprising the role of Ash. If it were up to me, I'd cast Rider Strong as Ash. He had a real Bruce Campbell-y vibe going in Cabin Fever, and I think he could do a decent job with the role. And all these people that are all "wah wah wah no Evil Dead 4 wah wah wah no FvJvA" should just shut up and get over it. George Romero produced a remake of Night of the Living Dead, and he's still doing the fourth movie in his Dead Trilogy (well, I guess that's "Dead Quadrilogy" now). Sure, that's not exactly the same, but still.
Wow, I talk about horror movies way too much. I think I may have an addiction. But at least I'm not one of those psychopaths that go on a murder spree and blame them on horror movies. Horror movies didn't make me a psycho; they made me want to make a horror movie. I'd find more things to talk about besides horror, but since I'm usually stuck in my house in front of my computer, my social life is a wee bit lacking. Some of you readers should move to the Bluegrass State and give me a social life and keep me entertained or give me something to do or something.
Okay, folks, that's all I've got for today. Sutton out.
Sunday, November 14, 2004; 4:35 a.m.
Caught Seed of Chucky in Danville. The whole Glen/Glenda subplot was kind of weird, as was the movie's whole vibe in general. I think it's rather poetic that John Waters was in it, because the movie feels like the kind of one he'd make. If you've seen a John Waters movie (like Hairspray or Serial Mom), you know what I mean. This is a movie that you'll probably either love or hate, but me, I was in the middle. I liked it, but I didn't love it. If they'd used the Hollywood setting to its full advantage, it would have definitely been an improvement. Instead, we get to see two killer dolls and their gender-confused offspring hanging out at Jennifer Tilly's house. Let's give Seed of Chucky three and a half stars and leave it at that. The "Chucky kills Britney Spears (or a reasonable facsimile thereof)" scene gets five stars, though.
Meanwhile, with the recent Halloweeny talk about horror movies along a particular stretch of Blog Nation highway, I figure I might as well throw my hat into the ring. I know I talk about horror movies a lot, but I'm gonna jump into this sucker headfirst and speak more openly about it.
I've been a fan of the genre for as long as I can remember. The earliest memories I have of my horror fandom are renting a stack of Friday The 13th movies at the local video store and watching them over and over, then begging my dad to take me to see Jason Goes To Hell when it opened in theatres (he said no, by the way). Even as an 11-year-old sixth grader back in 1993, I was hooked. And now, eleven years later, the love I have for horror has grown by leaps and bounds. Thirty-one percent of my DVD collection is made up of horror movies. Yeah, I love comedies, sci-fi, and action movies, and I'll watch the occasional drama. Sometimes I'll even get up the nerve to watch a chick flick once in a blue moon (I actually own one, but keep that under your hat). But nine times out of ten, I'll pick a horror movie over any other. I don't care how "classic" a movie is. Gone With The Wind? Give me Halloween. The Wizard of Oz? I'll be watching Night of the Living Dead, thanks.
For a long time, people thought I was weird for liking horror movies (and the Friday The 13th flicks in general), and I never had a reason for why I did. "They're softcore porn with violence," they told me. But after some introspection, I've come up with some good reasons to explain why I love what I love. First off, horror will always get a thumbs up from me due to its relevance in our social culture. Many horror movies take things that we don't want to see or think about, and presents them in a form that nearly smacks us in our collective faces. This can especially be seen in movies like Tales From The Hood (a sadly underrated urban spin on Tales From The Crypt) and Wes Craven's legendary exploitation movie The Last House on the Left, and the television show The Twilight Zone (Rod Serling's original, not the watered-down retreads of recent years).
I also find horror movies to be therapeutic. Horror films in general make us acknowledge one emotion that we try to repress: fear. Watching horror movies allows us to get spend ninety minutes on the edge of our seats, making us jump and scream with every scare. And when they're over, we can walk away with smiles on our faces because we faced fear and made it through okay. Like I said earlier, people used to give me lots of crap for liking the Friday The 13th movies. They had no clue why a person would enjoy "mindless garbage" like that. But see, that's where the therapy comes in. I've got a really nasty temper, and watching the Friday movies help me out. If I'm upset, I can just watch Jason causing all kinds of carnage onscreen and imagine his victims are the things that are troubling me. I know it sounds a little crazy, but hey, anything that keeps my temper in check can't be so bad, can it?
Okay, enough horror for now. I feel like going on a wrestling tangent for a little while. There's more to me than just horror, you know. I'm more complex than that. Don't laugh like that, it's true.
WWE's been firing a boatload of employees lately, somewhere between 10 and 15 wrestlers (depending on who you get your information from). Some of the firings just don't make any sense to me. WWE's women's division is extremely small, and firing three of their Divas is just insane, especially considering that they just spent $250,000 on Christy Hemme. Don't get me wrong, I like her, but I doubt she knows a wristlock from a wristwatch. Then again, Trish Stratus got into wrestling as a fitness model that had never wrestled a day in her life, and look at her now. If she were a man, she'd be a world champion.
Survivor Series is this weekend as well. I heard a rumor that HHH was pushing to have the Raw elimination match be made a War Games match, because he grew up watching the NWA and loved the gimmick. Vince ended up shooting down the idea, which is a shame because I'd love to see a WWE War Games match. This is one time I'd have no problem with HHH getting his way. I've said before that I'm a fan of the War Games gimmick, and there are numerous ways for WWE to do one. They could always build a traditional War Games cage, they could stick all the guys in the Hell In A Cell cage, they could do a three-on-three War Games match in the Elimination Chamber, and there's probably plenty of other ideas they could use. They could even break out the Ready To Rumble three-tiered cage and call THAT a War Games match. WCW did once, and it wasn't that bad. The Ready To Rumble cage has only been used twice (well, three times if you count the movie), and I wouldn't mind seeing another one. But who am I kidding? The only way WWE would ever run a match like that is if they showed Ready To Rumble instead of Raw or SmackDown.
I'm begging someone in WWE to steal the "Canadian Destroyer." For those of you who haven't seen TNA, the Canadian Destroyer is the finishing move of TNA's X-Division champion, Petey Williams, and it's one of the most insane moves I've ever seen. Too bad WWE has discouraged the use of piledrivers (with the exception of the occasional Undertaker Tombstone), because if somebody did that in a WWE match, the audience would go absolutely nuts.
That's all I've got for now. At this late hour, sleep good. Sutton out.
Sunday, November 7, 2004; 11:04 p.m.
I haven't done this in a while, so I'm gonna hit the blog with some Horror Movie News.
First off, with it looking less and less likely that Bruce Campbell's "Ash" character from the Evil Dead trilogy will be involved in Freddy Vs. Jason 2, it appears that the good folks at New Line Cinema have a backup plan. Robert Englund gave an interview at the After The Sunset premiere, and he says that New Line is considering adding Michael Myers from the Halloween series to the mix. I'm gonna call shenanigans on this one. I sincerely doubt that Dimension Films and Moustapha Akkad would allow New Line to use Michael Myers. Besides, I don't know how much of a "name" Michael Myers is. Most people just know Michael Myers as the guy that played Austin Powers. The first Halloween is a classic, but outside of diehard horror fans, how many people knew who Michael Myers even was before Halloween H2O? I'd love to see Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Michael, but I'd like them to go back to straight Elm Street and Friday The 13th sequels.
Never mind, forget that. Right after I finished typing that, the Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Michael rumor was debunked by New Line as just wishful thinking on Robert's part.
A sequel for The Grudge has been greenlighted already. Stephen Susco, who wrote the movie, will return to pen Grudge 2, and Sam Raimi, Rob Tapert, Roy Lee, and Doug Davidson will return as producers. No word yet on if Sarah Michelle Gellar or Takashi Shimizu (who directed not only The Grudge, but the Japanese films that inspired it) will be involved.
Also greenlighted was Saw 2, the sequel to Saw (obviously). Saw scored the second-highest opening weekend in the history of Lions Gate Films (second only to Fahrenheit 9/11), and Saw 2 has been given a release date of October 28, 2005. Lions Gate also gave a release date to Rob Zombie's The Devil's Rejects, which will hit theaters on August 12, 2005.
It also looks like Sarah Michelle Gellar is on her way to becoming a modern scream queen. She's got Scream 2, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and The Grudge under her belt, as well as spending seven seasons as the title character on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and she recently signed on for a new supernatural thriller titled Revolver. Asif Kapadia will be directing from an Adam Sussman script, which follows a successful businesswoman whose recurring nightmares push her to investigate the mysterious death of a young woman 25 years earlier. If you ask me, it sounds like a cross between The Ring and Gothika, but I'll save judgment for when I actually see it.
Okay, folks, that's not a lot, but that's all the news that's fit to print. And I'd like to close by saying that Britney Spears's cover of "My Prerogative" just may be one of the worst songs I've ever heard in my life. Bobby Brown's version was awful enough, but she went and made it worse. I didn't know a person could sing molten feces, but Britney Spears proved it was possible.
Sutton out.
Wednesday, November 3, 2004; 2:05 p.m.
A boy can dream...
Sunday, October 31, 2004; 1:05 a.m.
Happy Halloween, dear readers. Don't try to overdose on too much candy and trick-or-treating goodies and whatnot. You know how you can avoid that? Share with me. :)
Not a lot has gone on this week. I caught Saw on Friday, and I'm working on a full review of that. I wanted to get it done so I could post it tonight, but it's not, so you're just gonna have to wait. Same goes for the review of Shaun Of The Dead I was working on. But I DO have a new review for you just in time for Halloween; this time it's The Grudge. Feel free to read that, and any other horror reviews at "Sutton At The Movies" (which equates to about 90% of the movies there). Anyway, quick review: Saw is fun and exciting (I loved the homage to Black Christmas near the end), but at times tries too hard to be like Seven at times. Despite that and some inconsistent acting, and I'll give it three and a half stars. However, if you need a Halloween-type movie to see, go see The Grudge. Better yet, go to the local video store and rent Halloween. Make sure it's the original Halloween and not one of the crappy sequels, though. Halloween 2 is decent, Halloween 3 is a watchable B-movie (despite having no Michael Myers), but Halloween 4 through Halloween: Resurrection are range from "blah" to "crappy."
You could also rent the Dawn of the Dead remake. I picked up the unrated DVD of it on Tuesday, and I definately approve. The unrated director's cut is just as entertaining (if not moreso) as the R-rated theatrical cut, and makes for an hour and a half of good scary viewing.
Added to the Blatant Movie Shilling: the House of 1000 Corpses sequel The Devil's Rejects. There's no release date yet, but many are expecting anywhere from next spring to next Halloween. Any updates, I'll fix it. But feel free to check out the teaser trailer on the website.
Nothing else to really report on this week, other than I've got a crapload of horror movies to watch. Sutton out.
Friday, October 22, 2004; 11:32 p.m.
Went and caught The Grudge with the usual suspects tonight, and I absolutely loved it. I'm normally not scared by horror movies, but this one scared me. So that puts the list of movies that scare me at three: the original Nightmare on Elm Street, The Ring, and The Grudge. And I'll go on record and say they should remake more Japanese horror movies. The Ring and The Grudge were both great, so I'm sure any in the future would be just as good. The Grudge does have a few similarities to The Ring, and some parts even seem copied straight out of The Ring, and its Pulp Fiction-esque out-of-sequence editing can throw you for a loop, but The Grudge gets a definite four stars from yours truly. All I have to do now is find and check out the Japanese version of The Grudge to see how they compare.
That's all I've got for tonight. Sutton out.
Saturday, October 16, 2004; 3:58 p.m.
Hey, look, an update. I almost forgot the blog even existed.
I caught Team America: World Police last night, and it's definitely one of the most bizarre movies I've ever seen. A lot of the humor is either really funny or so wrong that it's funny. Three stars for the whole thing.
New review at "Sutton At The Movies." This time it's Resident Evil: Apocalypse. You can read that HERE, and my review for the original HERE.
Sutton out.
Sunday, October 10, 2004; 1:40 a.m.
Hey, readers. It's about time I made an update or two.
Myself and the usual suspects went to Alton for some more wrestling on Saturday. The main event featured WWE hall of famer Jimmy Valiant "wrestling" in a six-man tag. By "wrestling," I mean he hit a few punches and an eyepoke, then won with a sleeperhold. I'm not really surprised, since he's 62, and at his age and as skinny as he is, he might have broken a hip if he took a bump. And he shaved his ZZ Top beard too, so he looks a LOT older than he used to. Some old wrestlers still look like wrestlers. Terry Funk is one of them. Jimmy Valiant is not. He looks like he should be in an old folks home conducting wheelchair races with the other residents.
I also have a very nasty cough going on. I hate being sick. I'm just coughing and feeling bad all the time and it sucks.
Nothing else to say. Sutton out.
Sunday, October 3, 2004; 7:30 p.m.
Just a quick update to share that there's a new review up at "Sutton At The Movies." This time it's The Passion of the Christ. Sutton out.
Saturday, October 2, 2004; 5:26 p.m.
And now for random thoughts from Sutton's Shack Of Chicken 'N Waffles.
Today was the annual county festival. Only in Kentucky can you go to a festival smelling like a daisy and leave smelling like cigarettes and horse manure. The fact that the day was rainy and there wasn't anything going on (as per the course at these things) didn't help. At least I got out of the house for a change.
I've been watching Boston Public on WE (that women's network that David and Courtney Arquette started), and I want to kick Fox in the groin for canceling it. I want it on DVD now, darn it. That and the first season of Joan of Arcadia. I've gotten addicted to Joan of Arcadia, but I can't watch Joe Mantegna without thinking of Fat Tony from The Simpsons. Am I the only person that thinks that way?
I saw a commercial for the Care Bears last night, and my question is this: when did these stupid things come back in style? And must every 80s trend come back? I still want Ghostbusters 3 and Bill & Ted 3 if all these 80s trends keep getting resurrected. Too bad Bill Murray is too good for the Ghostbusters now, because Ghostbusters 3 would probably get made.
To fill some space, have some Horror Movie News.
The DVD specs for Resident Evil: Apocalypse have been announced already. It'll be a two-disc special edition with three audio commentaries, twenty (!) deleted scenes, cast outtakes, a montage of bloopers featuring Mike Epps, and featurettes on the production, special effects, female action heroes, and corporate malfeasance. It'll be released on December 28th with an MSRP of around 29 bucks.
Also getting DVD release dates are Open Water (also on December 28th), Exorcist: The Beginning (January 4th), and The Village (January 11th). The Exorcist DVD will be the theatrically released version, directed by Renny Harlin. No word yet on if the version Paul Schrader directed will ever see the light of day. In other DVD news (and perhaps my favorite bit of news today): Anchor Bay Entertainment is planning on doing an American DVD of one of my favorite horror movies, Cemetary Man, sometime either this fall or fall 2005. Either way, I'm gonna buy this sucker as soon as I can. Anchor Bay is also working on a DVD of Freaked, which was co-written by, co-directed by, and starred Alex Winter (who you might recognize as Bill S. Preston, Esq., from the Bill & Ted movies). I enjoyed Freaked (being the fan of odd B-movies that I am), but I'm happier that Cemetary Man is getting a DVD release here in the States. It's good stuff, worth at least a rental if you see it at your local video store. But if you're not into odd Italian zombie movies, you might want to skip it.
And in our last bit of news, it's been reported that ABC is planning on doing a remake of Rosemary's Baby, set for air in 2005. Yeah, whatever. I can understand remaking a movie if it stunk the first time around, isn't well-known, or would be a foreign movie that American viewers would never see (like The Ring and The Grudge), but this is insanity. Dear Hollywood, cut back on the remakes. Try making an original movie for a change. Love, Matt Sutton.
That's all I've got now. Sutton out.
Sunday, September 26, 2004; 12:27 a.m.
Once again, Sutton here.
So today was an action-packed day. My sis had a cookout to celebrate the big 1-8 (which was Wednesday), and much fun was had by all in attendance. Happy belated birthday, sis.
After the cookout, me and the usual suspects wen to Alton for some wrestling. Have any of you wrestling fans seen a TLC match end in a pinfall? I've seen one other ladder match end in a pinfall, but that was because the rules were like that already. This one ended in a pin because they didn't have any other way to end it. See, the two ladders they had were the kind where you could only climb one side safely, and the dummies in the ring decided to climb up both sides to do some spots. You know what that means? The flimsy side of the ladder eventually just snapped in half. So since they didn't have any more ladders, the ref at ringside got up in the ring and announced that pins and submissions would count too. The winner only got his title belt when the ref held up the broken side of one ladder so he could climb it. But other than that, it was a pretty good match, one of the better indy matches I've seen live (and the first ladder match I've seen live, too).
You know what really bites? I can't get my DSL to work on my computer. I got it to work on one, but not the other. Something about an expired IP or some such nonsense. Anybody who has any experience with BellSouth DSL is very welcome to give me advice, because I hate this. My DSL (or lack thereof) is making me angry, and it won't like me when I'm angry. Grrr, and such.
Whoa, they're making a Fight Club game. Did it take them long enough? Fight Club came out in 1999, why not make a Saving Private Ryan game while they're at it?
Don't really have much else to say, so I'll give you some quick horror movie news: George Romero's Land Of The Dead has a few new cast members. Joining the cat are John Leguizamo, Simon Baker (from L.A. Confidential and Ring 2), and Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg (from Shaun Of The Dead), as well as Robert Joy (from Amityville 3 and the recent made-for-TV remake of Helter Skelter) and Asia Argento (who appeared in XXX and is the daughter of Italian horror movie legend Dario Argento).
That's all I've got for now. Sutton out.
Thursday, September 16, 2004; 5:09 p.m.
This is Sutton, once again bringing the updatery goodness. A happy (belated) birthday goes out to Libby, and Hurricane Ivan can die of gonorrhea and rot in Hell. I'm sure my friends in Alabama will agree with me.
So other than that, there's not really a lot of going on. And when that happens, I have nothing better to do than hit the movie news.
Jessica Simpson will be playing Daisy Duke in the Warner Brothers movie adaptation of The Dukes of Hazzard, joining Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott in the cast. Word is that Jay Chandrakashar (director/star of Super Troopers and Club Dread) will direct the movie from a script by John O'Brien (who co-wrote the Starsky & Hutch movie) and Jonathan Davis.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Karl Urban will be the lead in Universal's adaptation of the Doom video games. I've heard The Rock has been cast too, which would make him one busy man. He's also doing a movie version of the Spy Hunter video game and Be Cool (the sequel to Get Shorty).
Also on the topic of video games becoming movies, Paramount Pictures has tapped Dean Georgaris to write their adaptation of the Area 51 arcade game. Georgaris previously wrote Lara Croft, Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, Paycheck, and Denzel Washington's remake of The Manchurian Candidate. I love Area 51, so I'll have to check this one out.
If you want to freak someone out in the middle of the night, turn out all the lights and fire up the Unsolved Mysteries theme song. It works for me.
I've been watching Dr. Phil's show a lot lately, and some of those guests could use Dr. Phil smacking them upside the head. They need somebody to tell them, "quit being stupid, stupid!" Maybe that's why I don't have a degree in psychology, a book deal, and my own TV show.
Bad news for fans of The Ramones: guitarist Johnny Ramone lost his battle with prostate cancer last night at the age of 55. A tribute concert was held this past Sunday to raise money for cancer research, and another concert is scheduled for October 8th at New York City's Spirit Club.
Not a lot else to talk about. Sutton out.
Saturday, September 11, 2004; 11:49 p.m.
Here's an update for you to enjoy.
Me and dad caught Resident Evil: Apocalypse this afternoon. I thought it was better than the first (my review of which you can read HERE), but it seemed like the plot was lacking a little. They introduced the Jill Valentine character, but I don't think they actually said what relevance she has to the Resident Evil universe. Sure, Resident Evil fans know who she is, but it's never really established for those who haven't played the games. But overall, I'll give it three and a half stars for its effort.
That's all I've got for today. Sutton out.
Wednesday, September 8, 2004; 8:11 p.m.
It's been a week or so since my last update (which wasn't that long to begin with), so here's an update for you.
It's been posted at various wrestling news sites and a Blog Nation hotspot, but I'm re-posting it here so I can have something to talk about. What I'm talking about is the reported special bonus features on WWE's upcoming "Rise And Fall of ECW" video. So here's the list thus far...
My feelings are kinda mixed on this one. I already have the dog collar match, Tazz/Bam Bam, and RVD/Lynn on the Pioneer DVDs, as well as the Rey/Psicosis match where they made their ECW debuts (which I contend is better than the best-of-three match). I really hope this is only a partial list or that documentary feature is really long, because that doesn't seem to be a lot. And I hope WWE spends the cash for "Natural Born Killaz" so they can do the obligatory "New Jack runs in and beats the everloving snot out of one or more people with various blunt objects" montage. If they can't do that, I hope they pay to keep "Enter Sandman" for The Sandman's super-long, beer-and-nicotine-fueled intro.
If there's one thing the ECW DVD needs, it's a montage of insane spots, bumps, and moments that ended up being more famous like the actual matches. Some examples I'll throw out: Rocco Rock of Public Enemy jumping off a cage through two tables, Brian Lee slamming Tommy Dreamer off a balcony and through four tables, the BWO entering, New Jack diving off a balcony, the Blue Meanie dancing, Chris Benoit breaking Sabu's neck, J.T. Smith slipping off the top rope and smacking his face on the ground (resulting in a giant bump on his forehead), RVD doing a flip off the top rope and into the fourth row, The Sandman hanging from a low nightclub ceiling and dropping onto Mikey, Perry Saturn dropping off a scaffold, Sandman caning somebody (maybe the Tommy Dreamer "thank you, may I have another" moment), and any flaming table spot.
And I do hope that they devote at least a little time to the Dreamer/Raven feud outside of that one match, because that feud is the reason I became an ECW fan. The first episode of ECW's syndicated TV show I ever saw featured Raven "breaking" two of Tommy's fingers. As an impressionable young mark way back in 1995, I'd only heard of ECW in a few issues of Pro Wrestling Illustrated. After seeing the Dreamer/Raven segment, I was blown away. All I'd known up to then were the sanitized, family-friendly WWF and WCW. But after seeing ECW, I was hooked. I didn't miss a single episode of the syndicated show for two years, and I actually have several VHS tapes full of the show scattered around somewhere. ECW was a cool blend of mindless violence, high-flying, and technical wrestling that made me love pro wrestling even more. I was a fan of wrestling before I discovered ECW, but ECW made me an even bigger fan. Even during the dark days of TNN and Paul Heyman's cold checks, I never gave up on the promotion that I loved. And three years after its death, I remain a fan of ECW.
You know, with WWE doing this ECW DVD, I wonder if they might do a similar "Rise And Fall of WCW" documentary. Even though their rise and fall lasted from the conception of the NWO to the last episode of Nitro, a DVD covering WCW from Ted Turner's purchase (with maybe some Jim Crockett stuff as a lead-in) all the way to 2001 would be cool. They could put War Games '92 and the Sting/Flair time limit draw on there for sure. I'd love that. And they could put the half-hour segment of the NWO redecorating the Nitro set just for laughs. The set would be "the rise and fall," which means they'd have to put less-than-stellar moments on there too.
Word is that cut WWE Diva Potential Amy Weber suffered a severe arm injury in her arm wrestling match on Raw Monday night. That sucks, but she should be happy that Christy didn't go all "Jeff Goldblum in The Fly" on her and snap her forearm in half.
I mentioned last week during my "Raw Thoughts" that I wanted to see a ladder match with Edge, Chris Jericho, and Christian, and WWE went and gave me two-thirds of it at the PPV on Sunday. Maybe I should have been more specific: I wanted to see it on Raw. I don't want to shell out 30 bucks for the PPV.
Y'know, if MTV is going to air reruns of Jackass, then I wish the'd show more than the same five episodes over and over. Then again, TVTome.com says that there were only 25 episodes of the show over an 18-month run, not counting the two specials they did when the movie was released. My real question is this: why do the two Jackass "best of" DVDs, when they could have just put together all 25 episodes (uncut with the original music, and no blurs or bleeps or replacement music like on the "best of" DVDs) into a five-disc box set. Slap together some special features (maybe cast interviews or segments that were "too hot for TV"), and there you go. I'm sure it'd make a little money. Money from people who like watching others act like morons is still money, darn it.
I have nothing left to say here. Maybe there'll be more to say in my next update. I want to go see Resident Evil: Apocalypse this weekend, so maybe that'll be something to talk about if I do. Anyway, that's all I've got. Sutton out.
Wednesday, September 1, 2004; 1:00 p.m.
New review up: Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Check it out.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004; 12:12 a.m.
Hey, look, an update.
I finally got around to seeing Collateral on Saturday afternoon, and I really liked it. Tom Cruise was great, and he just might make my Top 25 favorite movie villians. Collateral gets four stars from me.
For those of you who enjoy my reviews, I'm working on new ones for The Butterfly Effect and the Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie. Target post date: whenever I feel like it.
Bravo's editing of Pulp Fiction needs some work. They completely erased the existance of the Gimp! Sure, I can understand them wanting to cut back on the homosexual rape and sexual deviancy, but completly erasing a character (even if he was only around for two or theee minutes) is nuts. They even cut Jules and Vincent deciding to go to Jimmy's after killing Marvin. It was bang, cut to black, "oh man, I shot Marvin in the face," then they're drinking coffee with Jimmy. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't get too worked up. I still have the full version on DVD and video.
The USA Network has been showing Escape From L.A. occasionally, and I can't complain. I love the Escape movies. Too bad there are only two, because there could be several. Maybe Escape From Miami, Escape From Philadelphia, or Escape From Houston. Maybe they could go international with Escape From Tijuana, Escape From London, or Escape From Moscow. I could live with two or three more Snake Plisskin movies. I guess it'd just come down to John Carpenter and Kurt Russell wanting to do it.
In recent horror/sci-fi news, it's been reported that the upcoming Godzilla: Final Wars (which is being made to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Japan's favorite atomic dinosaur) will pit the original Godzilla from Japan against its American counterpart from the 1998 Matthew Broderick movie. That'd be one heck of a movie, and maybe Godzilla can kick the crap out of the American 'Zilla.
With the "versus" craze going on (like Freddy vs. Jason and Alien vs. Predator), there's only one other "versus" movie I can think of. If Peter Jackson's remake of King Kong is a hit next year, somebody should get around to remaking King Kong vs. Godzilla. Besides, Hollywood's going crazy with the remakes of Japanese movies.
All these Beavis & Butt-Head and Celebrity Deathmatch reruns on MTV2 make me want new episodes of both shows. And Beavis and Butthead watching "Real American" by Derringer is awesome.
"If you live in Butt Town, you gotta get down." Iggy Pop is a genius. Him and Sir Mix-A-Lot should get together and party.
Good news in the computer world: my monitor had been stuck at 640x480x16 for a few months, but somehow fixed itself today. I don't know how, but I don't care. It's fixed, so yay.
I read today that Kevin Smith is will begin filming on the Clerks sequel (titled The Passion of the Clerks) in January.
I want the new WWE "Day of Reckoning" video game. Somebody send me 50 bucks. :)
Decent episode of Raw tonight. The whole Diva Potentials Challenge... whoa. Too bad it wasn't on HBO, because bleeps suck. And Christian's back? I want a Edge/Christian/Jericho ladder match, and I want it now.
Okay, I have nothing else to say. Sutton out.
Thursday, August 26, 2004; 8:53 p.m.
Just a quick review to let everybody know that I finally have a new review up. This time, it's for Ginger Snaps 2, and you can read it HERE. You can also read my review for the original Ginger Snaps HERE.
That's all I've got for now. Sutton out.
Monday, August 23, 2004; 11:35 p.m
Hey look, an update for no apparent reason!
Quick response to a comment from one Ms. Libby Lane. She asks, "What is Land of the Dead all about?" Well, Libby, here's your response, via ComingSoon.net: "In the film, the zombies having taken over the world and those left alive are confined to a walled-in city that keeps out the corpse corps. Anarchy rules the streets, with the wealthy insulated and living in fortified skyscrapers. The drama revolves around a group of scavengers who must thwart an attempt to overthrow the city while the dead are evolving from brainless slow-moving creatures into more advanced creatures." By "evolving," I assume they're gonna end up like Bub, the gun-slinging zombie from Day of the Dead. Either that, or Romero is gonna sell out to the recent trend and have the zombies run.
That Mountain Dew commercial with Steven Seagal is crazy. I guess the direct-to-video market wasn't doing so well. And what's next, Jean-Claude Van Damme in a Dr. Pepper commercial? Meanwhile, the guy from the Office Max commercial (you know, the guy that looks like Kevin Eubanks from The Tonight Show) still gets a laugh from me.
I caught the old Adam West Batman movie on the Fox Movie Channel last night, and no matter how many times I see it, it still rules. "Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb," indeed.
Random Raw Thoughts:
That's all I've got for now. Sutton out.
Saturday, August 21, 2004; 2:10 a.m.
Yo.
Me and Mo caught Exorcist: The Beginning tonight. Having no real prior experience with the Exorcist movies (I've only seen bits and pieces of the original, none of the second, and half of the third), I was new to the Exorcist adventure. Overall, I'd give it three stars. It's never boring, and although some of the things it could have been improved upon, I can't complain.
They also showed a new trailer for Saw in front of Exorcist: The Beginning, and I want to see it even more now.
That's all I've really got for now. Sutton out.
Saturday, August 14, 2004; 8:52 p.m.
I did catch Alien vs. Predator today, and I'm torn. It was good for what it was, but it could have been so much more awesome. It wasn't the worst movie ever made like a lot of people act like it is, but there are better Alien and Predator movies out there. The PG-13 rating, the cheesy dialogue, and the extremely lame way of explaining the feud between the Aliens and the Predators really hindered it. I'll admit I haven't read the AvP comics or played the video games, so I don't know how they hooked up there, but here, it was just laughable. And why would it be rated PG-13? The Aliens and Predators have six movies between them, and every single one of them were rated R. If it ain't broken, don't fix it. Two and a half stars for Alien vs. Predator. Maybe I can go see Collateral or Resident Evil: Apocalypse (when it comes out) to make up for the big waste of potential that was AvP.
Bloody-Disgusting.com, my main horror movie news source, reports that Universal will distribute George Romero's Land of the Dead with a release date of late 2005. Meanwhile, TheHorrorChannel.com reports that Dennis Hopper has been cast in Land of the Dead, making him the first well known actor to appear in one of Romero's "Dead" movies (as Romero's casts are usually comprised of relative unknowns).
Nothing else to report. Sutton out.
Friday, August 13, 2004; 7:35 p.m.
Happy Friday the 13th, everybody. I hope you all have your hockey masks dusted off and your machetes sharpened. It's Friday the 13th, and there aren't any Friday The 13th movies on TV. Sure, I own them all on DVD, but when I was younger, I loved getting to watch two or three Friday movies on TV. I even remember Joe Bob Briggs doing an all-night marathon of the Paramount movies. All I know is that on June 13, 2005, I'll be going CRAZY! That is Jason's 25th birthday, after all.
Alien Vs. Predator was released today, and I've heard some rather disappointing reviews, but it sounds like most of the critics are just bashing it because they dislike the director. I've honestly seen reviews that essentally said, "Mortal Kombat sucked, Event Horizon sucked, Resident Evil sucked, Alien Vs. Predator sucks, and Paul Anderson can kiss my ass." So what if Paul Anderson's done some movies that were less than stellar? I haven't seen AvP yet, but it's a little unfair to judge it on the director's past work. I do plan on seeing the movie, and I'll tell you what I think of it when I do.
There's word that Warner Brothers will release a ten-disk box set of the Matrix trilogy in December. From the looks of it, each movie will get two disks, The Animatrix will get two, and there'll be an additional two for added special features. I'd think about getting it if there wasn't a $60 price tag. Then again, the Alien box set is upwards of 80 to 100 dollars and I'd get that if I could. So maybe I'm not the best judge of things.
Summerslam is on Sunday, and it's shaping up to be a good PPV. The whole Diva Dodgeball thing though... I'm torn on that. Sure, the Divas will be geting a PPV check, but the seven Potentials are awful. I really have no desire to see any of them waste valuable television time. These losers get all kinds of TV exposure doing useless crap, but Alexis Laree is wallowing in OVW's nearly non-existant women's division. It's sad, really.
All kinds of celebrities are dying lately. First Rick James, then Fay Wray and Julia Child. Why do the cool ones die? Can't the crappy celebrities die? I mean, Andy Dick is right there! Go get him, Grim Reaper!
I have nothing else today that is either relevant or true. Sutton out.
Monday, August 9, 2004; 7:18 p.m.
So I haven't updated in over a week. Blame that pesky writer's block.
In "Blatant Movie Shilling" news, The Ring 2 and The Amityville Horror have new release dates. While I have no clue why The Amityville Horror was moved, Dreamworks pushed back Ring 2 due to lags in production. From what I hear, production has been moving slowly because they've been shooting around the schedule of Naomi Watts.
For those of you who haven't bought the Hellboy DVD yet and love extra features, wait a little while. Columbia Home Video announced that on October 19, they'll be releasing Guillermo Del Toro's 132-minute director's cut on a three-disc special edition.
Anyone who wants to hear the Resident Evil: Apocalypse soundtrack before it hits stores on August 31st can click here. If you haven't heard CKY or HIM and would like to, here's your chance! :-)
Moviehole.net reports that Lions Gate is preparing to start Cabin Fever 2, aiming for a release sometime next year. No principal actors have been hired, but Robert Harris (who appeared in Cabin Fever as Old Man Caldwell) will return. No word yet on Eli Roth (Cabin Fever's writer/director) being involved.
I've been seeing these ads for Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid on TV lately, and whose idea was it to theatrically release this? Was Anaconda successful enough to warrant a sequel that was anything but direct to video? I guess they just didn't want to infringe on the Boa/Python "giant CGI snake" video market. Maybe Columbia can make some phone calls, and the epic Boa vs. Python vs. Anaconda can be made.
Rick James died on Friday. I wish I had two more hands, so I could give this death four thumbs down.
The talk about do-it-yourself DVD commentaries over at the New Hampshire Joyride makes me want to do one too. I don't know if I'm witty enough to do one by myself, but if I did do one, I'd totally geek it up like crazy, especially if it was a movie I was really into. I love DVD commentaries, so doing my own would be pretty rockin'. Or it might not be, I don't really know.
Whoever decided to cancel Aqua Teen Hunger Force should die. This makes me ANGRY.
The Kentucky Horsemen beat the Sioux Falls Storm on Saturday (by a score of 59-38) to win the NIFL championship. It's about time a football team from Kentucky accomplished something.
That's all I've got. Sutton out.
Friday, July 25, 2004; 10:43 p.m.
Here's another quick update for you, my devoted readers.
I caught The Village and Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle today. The Village wasn't really bad, even though they more or less gave vague hints to the ending numerous times throughout the movie (I even called it twenty minutes before the credits rolled). I thought the cast did a decent job and that the production value was good, but it was like the plot from a crappy episode of Scooby Doo, Where Are You? with the ending from a crappy episode of The Twilight Zone. The movie also dragged a few times, to the point where I was on the verge of shouting "do something already!" at the screen. A very disappointing movie, indeed. As for Harold And Kumar, it wasn't as disappointing as The Village. It was just your typical "stoners on a mission" movie, except the leads are an Asian and an Indian instead of suburban white kids. There were some funny moments and some groan-worthy moments, but I liked it for what it was. It also left the door open for Harold And Kumar Go To Amsterdam if this is a success. I'll give The Village two stars and Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle 2½ stars.
They also showed the first teaser trailer for Batman Begins prior to The Village, and if you haven't seen it yet, go to the movie's website and download it. Saying that it piques my interest is an understatement. I also caught the trailer for Shaun of the Dead prior to Harold And Kumar, and it looks great. It came out in England in April, and I haven't heard a single bad thing about it. Both Batman Begins and Shaun of the Dead have been added to "Blatant Movie Shilling."
That's all I've really got to say for today. Sutton out.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004; 11:57 p.m.
Hey there, readers. It's time once again for an update.
I saw Anchorman last Monday, and it was just wonderful. Will Ferrell was awesome (as usual), but Steve Carell stole the show. His Ralph Wiggum-esque character was absolutely great. Four stars, for sure. I also caught Catwoman on Friday. It wasn't bad, but it felt like a two-hour music video. During the action sequences, the camera was hopping around like the cinematographer had ADD and was hopped up on Jolt Cola. Throw in the Britney Spears and Mis-Teeq dance tunes, and it really was a music video. The plot was also a bit out there. Halle Berry becomes Catwoman because she was possessed by some ancient Egyptian cat goddess? A facial cream that can either horribly disfigure you or make you invulnerable to pain depending on how much you use it? Color me stupid, but I didn't get it. Of the three theatrical appearances of Catwoman (see also: Lee Meriwether in 1966's Batman: The Movie and Michelle Pfeiffer in 1992's Batman Returns) it's definitely the least. I'll give Catwoman two stars.
Saturday night was more indy wrestling in Alton. Not a lot of highlights, other than a street fight, a lumberjack match, and a rather odd incident that involved the mother of one of the talent. He was playing a androgynous heel manager, and from what I hear from some of the regulars at the biweekly Alton shows, the audience's reaction really honked off his mom. Apparently, she didn't realize that her son was trying to get an unfavorable reaction from the crowd. Somebody needs to let her in on the joke, and tell her that the crowd was just playing along.
In horror movie news, New Line Cinema greenlighted a prequel of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. They outbid Dimension Films (by a whopping three million dollars) to secure the proper rights, and Sheldon Turner (who scripted the yet-to-be-released remakes of The Longest Yard and The Amityville Horror) has been pegged to write it. Michael Bay, Mike Fleiss, Andrew Form, and Brad Fuller will be producing, while remake cast member Andrew Brynarski has said he'll be returning as Leatherface. They're aiming for a Halloween 2005 release.
On the subject of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, there's three new reviews up at "Sutton At The Movies." You can check out my reviews of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation by clicking the titles, and you can also check out my reviews for the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and last year's remake.
For those interested, Rob Zombie's comic book "La Superbeasto" will be adapted into an animated movie. Zombie will be the executive producer and writer, and Anchor Bay Entertainment will handle the domestic video distribution.
Good news on the Internet front: Those of you who regularly chat with me online know I have a crappy dialup connection. But come September 24th, I'll be sporting a brand new DSL connection. It's all a matter of the phone company getting it set up.
Mike Tyson is fighting in Louisville on Friday, and I wish I could be there or be watching on pay-per-view. But 50 bucks for the PPV and several hundred for a ticket is outrageous.
I read on IMDB.com just now that a long-time character on The Simpsons will come out of the closet in a future episode. Most people think it's Smithers, but it could be either Patty or Selma. Remember that episode with the gay pride parade passing the Simpson house? There was a float dedicated to people that haven't come out yet, and it featured Smithers and either Patty or Selma. I can't tell Patty and Selma apart, but it could be one or the other.
One of Kentucky's two indoor football teams, the Lexington Horsemen, recently advanced to the National Indoor Football League's championship game against the Sioux Falls Storm in two weeks. Hey, Mike, did you know Sioux Falls had an indoor football team? Because my team's gonna kill them.
I got into a discussion about the WWE Hall of Fame recently, and the topic of the "celebrity wing" came up. Pete Rose was the first inductee at Wrestlemania, and who else could be inducted? Bob Uecker's name came up as a potential inductee, but one could make a case for Andy Kaufman. Sure, Kaufman never worked with WWE, but his feud with Jerry Lawler was one of the high points of Lawler's career. Besides, he did a movie with Fred Blassie (the 1983 cult flick My Breakfast With Blassie, a spoof of the 1981 drama My Dinner With Andre), so there's a second WWE connection right there.
Wow, this is one long post. I'll just cut it off here. Sutton out.
Sunday, July 18, 2004; 10:29 p.m.
Hello, dear readers.
I saw I, Robot yesterday, and I liked it a lot. The ending kinda came out of nowhere, but other than that, I can't complain. And the CGI isn't bad either. I give it three and a half stars. The trailers in front of I, Robot didn't look that bad, either. Advertised were Collateral, Paparazzi, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, and Alien Vs. Predator. Collateral looks kinda like Changing Lanes with a hitman, which isn't a bad thing because Changing Lanes was really good. I was already looking forward to Apocalypse and AvP, and I have no opinions on Paparazzi.
On the topic of the Resident Evil sequel, those of you who are into metal or horror movie soundtracks can check out the track listing for the Apocalypse soundtrack HERE. Putting songs by CKY and HIM on there makes my day, but two things bug me about it. I already have them both on the CDs they were originally featured on, and I don't think they really fit with the theme of the movie. The video for the CKY song has stuck it in my head that it'd be better suited for a slasher movie, and the HIM track would probably work better for the suicide scene in a Romeo & Juliet movie. I'm not going to complain about the songs being on the soundtrack, however. Anything that gets CKY and HIM mainstream recognition is fine by me.
Variety recently reported that George Romero's long-anticipated fourth Dead movie has gotten financing (but doesn't have a distributor yet), and should start filming in either Winnipeg or Pittsburgh in October. From what I hear, it'll be titled Land of the Dead (as opposed to the previously rumored Dead Reckoning and Twilight of the Dead). Whenever it gets a release date, I'll definately be sure to add it to the "Blatant Movie Shilling."
I've been discussing WWE doing "best of" compilation DVDs, and I have to say that the specs I've seen for the upcoming Chris Benoit DVD look pretty swank. I just need to track down a copy of the 2001 Royal Rumble for the Benoit/Jericho ladder match (if it isn't on Benoit's DVD), and I'll be set. The only bad part about tracking down the 2001 Rumble is the fact that it'd be pretty hard to find in stores, thanks to the old WWF scratch logo. The same goes for the 2001 Survivor Series. Thanks a lot, you panda-loving losers.
After watching the Gangstas/Eliminators cage match on the ECW Hardcore History DVD today, I think WWE shoud do a hardcore cage match sometime. Just fill a cage full of weapons and let the participants go nuts. I think the closest they've gotten is the "Kennel From Hell" match, but who really wants to remember that? I'm a fan of cage matches anyway. It's too bad that DirecTV has stopped carrying TNA pay-per-views, because the six-sided cage match they've got booked for Wednesday sounds intriguing. I'm just waiting for them to put the cage up, take the ring ropes down, and have Ken Shamrock fight a guy under UFC rules. Maybe they could get Dan Severn for it. They're both former UFC and NWA champs, so TNA wouldn't have to work hard to write an angle. Sure, a no-ropes cage match with UFC rules sounds like one of the old "lion's den" matches, but I still think it would be cool. But I like UFC, so maybe I'm biased.
I was talking with someone recently about WWE doing War Games matches. They already have the Elimination Chamber on Raw, so they could make War Games a Smackdown thing. Maybe they could do one at Survivor Series, and the other at Summerslam. Better yet, make Armageddon a Smackdown-only pay-per-view, and do a War Games match there. I could see that happening if WWE ever decided to use the War Games gimmick. They could even spice it up by using the Hell In A Cell cage instead of the usual two-ring cage. They could even make a bigger Hell In A Cell cage that covered two rings if they wanted to.
I don't really have anything else interesting to say. Sutton out.
Tuesday, June 13, 2004; 3:29 a.m.
Hello, all. Here's another update.
Yes, Lib, I have heard of Lacuna Coil. I don't exactly follow the goth-metal scene, and I hadn't heard any Lacuna Coil songs until I downloaded "The Ghost Woman And The Hunter" on Sunday (mainly because the song title caught my eye). After hearing the song, I think I'm gonna have to buy "Comalies."
I had a two-hour telephone conversation with one Ms. Moore yesterday afternoon. Good times. :)
In wrestling news, OVW's show at the Louisville Six Flags on Friday was rained out, but Jim Cornette gave everyone there free passes for the next OVW Six Flags show on July 23, and Eddie Guerrero (who was scheduled to wrestle) stuck around in the rain to sign autographs. That's some good PR, if you ask me. Too bad the show on Satuday wasn't outdoors, because it rained, and I'd have totally tried to get Lance Storm's autograph (he was there, by the way).
I found some old videos in my closet yesterday, and one of them is titled "Wrestlemania: The Greatest Matches." The four matches on the tape are Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant and Randy Savage vs. Rick Steamboat (listed as "Ricky Dragon" on the box) from Mania 3, Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper from Mania 8, and the Steiners vs. the Headshrinkers from Mania 9. Okay, who thought the Steiners/Headshrinkers match was one of Mania's greatest? It was also listed as a tag title match, which is wrong. Then again, the label on the tape is "WF Summerslam: The Greatest Hits." Apparently, somebody forgot to add the second W in "WWF," and he should have been paying attention to what tapes he was labeling. I also found another tape from the same time period (1994 or thereabouts) that has the same "WF" typo, but I'll forgive them because the tape has a Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels ladder match. However, it also included the Doinks match from Survivor Series '93, so that's a knock against it.
On a related topic, I think WWE should start doing compilations of random matches like the ECW DVDs. Sure, they'll do comps for individual wrestlers, but I'd like to see something along the lines of the "Bloodbath" cage match DVD. Maybe they could do a DVD centered on ladder matches or War Games. A "best of Wrestlemania" DVD would be great too. They could do something like my suggestion for a WWE wrestling channel: do "best of" compilations for their major PPVs. I wouldn't mind them continuing the "best of ECW" line, or even do a "best of WCW" thing.
After catching The Breakfast Club on TV last night, I wonder if there would be a market for a remake of it. I love the movie, but I'd totally do a remake of it if I could get the rights and I knew a studio would pick it up. And just for kicks, I'd have to work in Billy Idol's cover of "Don't You Forget About Me."
I caught the uncut version of Bad Santa (or "Badder Santa," if you will), and I laughed my head off. There's truckloads of profanity and sexual innuendo, so if you're not into that, you're better off skipping it. I'll give Bad Santa three stars. Funny stuff.
That's all I've got for now. You people go do something. Sutton out.
Saturday, June 10, 2004; 11:34 p.m.
Howdy, folks. I got out to the OVW show I mentioned in some of my recent updates, and I had a great time. Seeing a couple of WWE guys (even if they're not huge names) for ten bucks is a pretty good deal. And Matt Morgan even used the "styles clash" as a finisher, too. Perhaps the biggest highlight of the show involved Nova, his tag partner Aaron Stevens, and a fan in the front row. The fan had a replica of the Big Gold Belt, and he ran out to the parking lot to roll up the windows of his car (because it had just started raining) and left the belt in his seat. Nova and Stevens, who had just entered for their match, took the belt and started posing in the ring with it, with Stevens going as far as to put it on and spit water in the air a la Triple H. You kinda had to be there, but it was funny to me.
Nothing else to say for tonight. Blame it on a lack of topics. Sutton out.
Wednesday, July 7, 2004; 11:54 p.m.
Hello, faithful readers. I hope all three of you had a great Fourth of July.
Here's some odd news I heard on Access Hollywood tonight. In the newest issue of Vanity Fair, Jessica Simpson's mother says Jessica took an IQ test in fifth grade, and the results said she had an IQ of 160. So Mrs. Simpson would like us to believe that her moron daughter is a genius on the level of Albert Einstein. Yeah, right. If you believe that, I have a bridge in San Fransisco I'd like to sell you.
The OVW show in Springfield is on Saturday, and the flyer I saw in McDonald's the other day features somebody that was fired months ago. Way to keep track of things, OVW. That's like WWE running ads featuring Jeff Hardy. If OVW was smart, they'd have stuck Johnny Nitro and Matt Morgan on there. Morgan's the champ, and casual fans could remember Nitro as Bischoff's toadie on Raw. It wasn't THAT long ago.
Quick bit of horror movie news: Paris Hilton is a possible addition to the cast of Scary Movie 4, and may be persuing a "Scream Queen" title following her roles in the direct-to-video horror flick Nine Lives and the remake of the Vincent Price classic House of Wax (which is currently under production).
A rumor floating around is that, in addition to Spy Hunter, The Rock will add another video game movie to his resume by joining the cast of the theatrical adaptation of Doom. Most video game movies suck, but I hope Doom can be watchable.
In other video game movie news, I downloaded the trailer for Resident Evil: Apocalypse tonight, and it actually looks pretty good. The original movie wasn't that great (even though I did like it), but as a Resident Evil fan, I feel almost obligated to see it.
I read recently that TNA pay-per-views are no longer offered by DirecTV as of this week. Since Dish Network doesn't offer their PPVs (or so I'm told), they'd better hope DirecTV picks them back up soon, or they're screwed. A lack of PPV buyers will be a huge knock out of their pocketbooks. I guess this means Impact had better start improving, since DirecTV subscribers still get Fox Sports.
That's all I've got for now. Sutton out.
Friday, July 2, 2004; 1:18 a.m.
I caught Spider-Man 2 tonight, and it was absolutely great. I thought it was better than the first one, though I don't think the "best superhero movie ever" tag is completely accurate. Personally, that goes to Tim Burton's first Batman movie. But hey, that's just my opinion. Anyway, as a movie nerd and a fan of Sam Raimi, I really liked the appearences of Bruce Campbell, Sam's brother Ted, and Sam's Oldsmobile Delta 88. Though in one crutial part of the movie, the projectionist screwed something up and accidentally killed the audio and played the entirety a song by Hilary Duff and her sister from the A Cinderella Story soundtrack. (The song was part of the "MovieTunes" thing that some theaters run before the movie starts.) About a dozen people got up and complained, and I think a few of them didn't come back. Me and the friend I was with ended up making a running gag tying the Hillary Duff song to the scene (I don't want to spoil that scene by telling what the joke is, but if you don't care, highlight the following: Peter has a dream about Uncle Ben, and the joke was "Ben came back from the grave to tell Peter that Hillary Duff is awesome!"). Regardless of that one weird spot, I'll give Spider-Man 2 four stars. Good stuff, Matt says check it out.
While I'm here, I should also mention that I got the coolest phone call in the world yesterday. I'll give you one guess as to who it might have been from. :)
Nothing else to say, so Sutton out.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004; 5:58 p.m.
Here's some update for my blog, bingo! (Please don't sue me, Libby.)
I went to the Marion County Fair last night with the usual suspects, and it was quite an experience. I mainly went to see the wrestling they were having, but it just wasn't very interesting. The only real highlights were one wrestler throwing a fireball at another, and Tracey Smothers spending more time threatening the crowd than wrestling. And apparently, somebody thought it was a good idea to bring WCW's old International World Title out of mothballs, because Smothers had his own version of the Big Gold Belt (y'know, the one currently held by Chris Benoit) and was claiming that as an "international star," he was recognized as the International World Champion. So Freddy Joe Floyd is world title material? If some two-bit indy promotion called their title a "world title," then I could see it. However, I think the "International World Title" thing was just so Smothers could get some "I'm a big shot because I've worked for WWE, WCW, and ECW" heel heat, since they never specified what promotion that he was the champion of. And calling a title the International World Title is kinda redundant. Wouldn't the fact that it's a world title make it an international title?
Anyway, after the wrestling, I talked Mo (the afore-mentioned "usual suspects") into getting on a ride. It may be called something different in your town, but the ride was the kind that spins around and pins you to the side. After it was over, Mo ended up getting me to ride it again. And wouldn't you know it, I ended up feeling like everything inside was gonna end up outside. Know what I mean? After getting off the ride, I was a tad on the nauseous side and I also noticed that my wallet was missing too. Turns out it had fallen out of my pocket when I turned myself upside-down on the first ride, and it had went behind the ride's seats. I told the guys working the ride my predicament, and the wallet was lost and found in less than twenty minutes. I got lucky. And good for me, I'm finally starting to get over my nausea.
I haven't done this in a while, but I figure I'll do a little Horror Movie News now.
Story #1: "Diamond" Dallas Page has been confirmed as a cast member for The Devil's Rejects. (I tried to link to a picture at two different sites, but neither site likes that. Just take my word for it.)
Story #2: Apparently, a new trailer for Exorcist: The Beginning was deemed "too scary for all audiences" by the MPAA. It's a freaking horror movie, it's supposed to be scary! If it's not for all audiences, then make it a red-band trailer and slap it in front of an R-rated movie. This is so stupid. I can watch the evening news and hear about how some American was decapitated by a bunch of Iraqi soldiers and a suicide bomber blew up a bunch of people, but I'm not allowed see a movie trailer.
Story #3: There's a rumor floating around that George Romero's Dead Reckoning (the fourth chapter of his "Trilogy of the Living Dead") has gotten financing and may begin production in October. I'm sure the success of the Dawn Of The Dead remake helped. But regardless of the Dawn remake, this is really good. However, I doubt most newer horror fans will go for Romero's slow zombies after being exposed to the super-fast zombies from 28 Days Later and the remake of Dawn.
This is all I have for today. Sutton out.
Monday, June 28, 2004; 12:07 a.m.
Yo.
Everybody's been celebrating their blog anniversaries lately. That's just dandy, but I have to wait until November to celebrate the three-year anniversary of this here blog. Three years. This blog's the grandfather of the Blog Nation, folks. I've got tenure.
I've decided that I have to stop using my mom's computer to make comments on my blog. I just confuse people.
Two new movies in the "Blatant Movie Shilling" segment. Advertised above is the documentary Michael Moore Hates America, and Sarah Michelle Gellar's The Grudge (a remake of the Japanese ghost story Ju-On).
That Wayans brothers movie White Chicks just looks awful. I just don't see any humor in two black guys pretending to be white women. I have nothing against crossdressers, but come on. Sorority Boys sucked, and so will White Chicks.
I want to injure the guys behind the Truth anti-smoking commercials, or at least paint a giant Marlboro logo on the door of their offices. These ads are so annoying. I hate smoking, but I hate the commercials too.
Didn't get to the wrestling show in Alton last night, but it's okay. I got to see the OVW TV show. I hear Kris didn't know what OVW was, but has been informed. Now she knows, and knowing is half the battle. :)
Mike's comments don't work, but there's always The Atoll!
You know, I just realized I haven't done a full-fledged movie review in a while. The three Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequels and Ginger Snaps 2, however, are ones I want to get around to sometime. The truth is I have a lot of movies I'd like to review sometime, but I haven't been in much of a reviewing mood lately. If you're a fan of my reviews, I apologize for the lack of new ones. Sorry.
WWE ran it's Great American Bash pay-per-view, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield won the WWE title. Freaking Bradshaw now holds the title previously held by guys like Bob Backlund, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and Bret Hart. Color me crazy, but that just doesn't sound right. You know, Bradshaw actually wouldn't be so bad if he didn't do Nazi salutes and make fun of Mexicans. I mean, he just comes off as a racist version of J.R. Ewing. If Bradshaw wants to be Ted DiBiase 2004, then he should watch tapes of Ted DiBiase 1988. DiBiase didn't have to resort to racism to get heel heat. But then again, DiBiase's a preacher, and I doubt that sort of thing would fly with the congregation.
That's all I've got to say for today, dear readers. Sutton out.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004; 7:45 p.m.
Egads, yesterday was a long day. I caught a 12:15 showing of Dodgeball with Mo, and it's really funny. They make you think Vince Vaughn is the star, but it's all about Ben Stiller. He carries the whole thing. I give it three and a half stars for being great, despite lacking in some parts. And having David Hasslehoff as the coach of the German team is inspired casting. If Norm McDonald has taught us anything, it's that Germans love David Hasslehoff. Anyway, I ended up crashing at Mo's house for the night, and we watched Scary Movie 3. Having never seen it before, I thought that it was funny, even though it was all over the place. I give it three stars.
Quick horror news: According to Variety, a sequel to 28 Days Later is in the works, tentatively titled 28 Weeks Later. It'll be produced by Danny Boyle and Alex Garland (who directed and wrote 28 Days Later, respectively), and Rowan Jaffe is in talks to write it. Meanwhile, Fangoria has learned that Universal's Monster Collection will be expanding in the near future. The Creature From The Black Lagoon movies, the Mummy movies (the old Boris Karloff ones, not the Brendan Fraser ones), and the Invisible Man movies will all be released on DVD on October 5. Start saving your pennies, monster movie fans (that means you, Libby).
VH1 makes me happy. They played the entirety of Morris Day's new live album ("It's About Time") last night. The album comes out on June 22, and as I've said in the past, Morris Day and The Time freaking rule.
I've got the songs "Lovin' Every Minute Of It" by Loverboy in my head. Freaking Loverboy. They're like the result of Def Leppard, Duran Duran, and Kenny Loggins forming a megaband. I think I need psychiatric help. "Lovin' Every Minute Of It" is a catchy tune, though.
I have nothing else to discuss at the moment, so I'm ending this one here. Sutton out.
Sunday, June 20, 2004; 6:08 p.m.
Hello, dear readers. I can't really think of any particular topic to discuss, so I'll just wing it. But Kris is home, so I'll start by saying welcome back. :)
Very quick horror movie news: Ryan Reynolds (who you may remember as the title character in Van Wilder) has been cast in the remake of The Amityville Horror.
I caught OVW's TV show last night, and it looks like they'll be doing a show in Springfield on July 10th. This is pretty rockin', especially considering Springfield is maybe a 10-minute drive from here. Man, I think I'm gonna end up overdosing on indy wrestling. The indy promotion in Alton I usually go to has a show on the 26th, and another indy promotion is doing a show at the Marion County Fair on the 28th.
But indy wrestling isn't always fun. I went to a show a few years ago (back in 1999, I believe), and there was a good 15 or 20 minute break in between each match. They weren't intermissions, there was just nothing going on. It eventually got to the point where people just started chanting "refund" and "we want wrestling." The announcer didn't even have a bell to ring until the second match, when he realized he left it in the trunk of his car. The whole show was just so sad and pathetic. Thank God there's no tape of it, so nobody will have to be subjected to that crapfest again.
I don't really have anything else to say, so I'm cutting this off here. Sutton out.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004; 7:41 p.m.
Hey look, a post.
I actually have some good DVD news. TVShowsOnDVD.com reports that Pee Wee's Playhouse will be released sometime this fall (possibly November) in two volumes, with a limited edition of the entire show (featuring commentary from Paul Reubens, and loads of Pee Wee related stuff from his archives) possibly being released in 2005. I loved Pee Wee Herman when I was a kid, and the DVDs are going to be definate pick-ups for me.
Also in DVD news: the R-rated and unrated versions of the Dawn Of The Dead remake will be available October 5. I'll probably end up buying both, just so I can compare and contrast. They could have done what New Line did with Jason Goes To Hell and put both versions on one set. That multi-disc set of the original Dawn Of The Dead will be released on September 7. It'll be four discs, with the original theatrical cut on one (that disc will be identical to the one that came out when the remake hit theaters), the extended "director's cut" on another, Dario Argento's European cut on the third, and Document Of The Dead (a feature-length documentary filmed on the set of Dawn Of The Dead) and other behind-the-scenes stuff on the fourth. Meanwhile, Kill Bill 2 will be released August 10, Walking Tall will be released September 28, and Warner Brothers will be releasing a 20th anniversary DVD of Purple Rain. I'm gonna have to get that Purple Rain DVD just for the "Jungle Love" music video that's supposed to be on it. You cannot say anything bad about The Time. That is not allowed.
I've also read that Columbia is releasing a 20th anniversary DVD of Ghostbusters in October. I already have the 15th anniversary DVD (it was the first DVD I ever bought, actually), so unless there's something on there that really grabs my attention, like a full cast commentary or the Ray Parker music video or something like that, I doubt I'll pick it up. The weird thing is that I was actually thinking about Ghostbusters getting a 20th anniversary DVD a few days ago. Too bad New Line already did the Nightmare On Elm Street box set, because that series could always get the 20th anniversary special treatment as well.
In other news, CBS and New Line have announced plans to do a reality show called Nightmare On Elm Street: Real Nightmares. CBS has ordered six episodes of the show, to be hosted by Robert Englund (without the Freddy makeup). At the start of each episode, participants will reveal their worst nightmare, and a visual effcts team will create it. The participants willthen have the opportunity to face their fear. So basically, the show is like a cross between Scare Tactics and Fear Factor.
I'm watching the original Rocky on AMC right now, and it made me remember some of the fun moments I had in college. Rocky IV was popular among the guys in the dorm that I hung out with. We'd often get into long, drawn-out discussions over the difference in Rocky and Ivan Drago's training. Drago spent all his time in a lab running on a treadmill and punching stuff, while Rocky pulled Paulie on a horse carriage and climbed a mountain. We just knew that Rocky was gonna kill the guy because of one reason: he climbed that mountain. See, the mountain wasn't just part of his training, but it was also a metaphor. If Rocky could conquer a mountain of nature, he can conquer the mountain that is Ivan Drago. Y'know, you haven't lived until you've been with a bunch of college students waxing philosophical over Sylvester Stallone movies.
I'm out of topics right now, sorry. Sutton out.
Sunday, June 13, 2004; 11:57 p.m.
Hey, folks. This week seems like it lasted forever, and I think the next two will feel just as long. We miss you, K. All of us.
It felt like a long week, but it was also a very long weekend. Saturday, I took in that indy wrestling show I mentioned. That blindfold battle royal... it was different. The rules were like this: a bunch of people wearing hoods were in the ring, and if you left the ring or had your hood taken off, you were eliminated. It wasn't necessarily a good match, but it was funny.
Yesterday, I went up to Louisville with my homeboy Mo to get his computer looked at by a long-lost friend of ours. We had a pretty good time, despite the awful heat and humidity. We watched Eurotrip while we were there, which had some good laughs, but dragged in places as well. I'll give it two and a half stars for basically being Road Trip in Europe. The needless male nudity didn't help any. Anyway, we also made a run to Best Buy, where I picked up the Clerks soundtrack. Good stuff, that CD is.
I saw a clip of the St. Louis Cardinals/Texas Rangers baseball game on the 11:00 news, and some big guy jumped over a row of seats and pinned a four-year-old boy to the seats with his legs so he could grab a foul ball. The TV announcers rightfully started heckling the guy, while the crowd in the surrounding area started a "give him the ball" chant. Later in the game, some teenager gave the boy a foul ball he caught, and both teams gave the kid bats and balls. Reggie Sanders from the Cardinals even went into the crowd to give the boy his bat. He ended up leaving two innings later, unfortunately before one of St. Louis's players could give him a Cardinals T-shirt that he'd written "Tough Guy" and "Ball-Stealer" on. Folks, some people deserve a sledgehammer shot to the groin, and that guy is one of them.
I also heard on the news that a casting session for extras for Cameron Crowe's upcoming movie Elizabethtown was held today in (where else?) Elizabethtown, Kentucky. E-town is only 45 minutes from here, and it's too bad I didn't get to go, because I'd have totally tried out.
I don't have anything else to say for now. Sutton out.
Friday, June 11, 2004; 1:56 a.m.
All the way back in April, I posted the nominees for the MTV Movie Awards. I figure it's about time I name the winners...
I'm still bummed that Freddy vs. Jason didn't get a Best Fight nomination, especially since the show had a horror theme. Oh well, can't have my way all the time.
Am I the only one that gets a Tripod search window popping up in my browser when I go to my blog? It's freaking annoying, and I want to punch it in the face.
I mentioned the edited TV version of Back To The Future a while back. I'm watched the TV version of Mallrats on the USA Network, and the dubbing is just too awful for words. I think it's the first time in a long while that I've actually seen something on the USA Network that wasn't Law & Order or an Adam Sandler movie.
Y'know, both Ray Charles and Ronald Reagan passed away this week. It seems like there's a rule that celebrities die in threes. I don't wanna sound morbid, but I wonder who the third one will be. Maybe Marc Anthony's previous wife will kill Jennifer Lopez for stealing her husband.
Sylvester Stallone is set on making Rocky 6 and Rambo 4. Rocky 6 just has to be made, just because Rocky can't go out on that crappy excuse for a film that was Rocky 5. I love the first four Rocky movies, but the fifth is just horrible. Meanwhile, I think Rambo 4 would also be a cool idea, especially with all the recent 80s nostalgia. We need more movies like Rambo. I like intellectual movies and all, but sometimes, I just wanna see guns and explosions. Y'know, if John Rambo was a real guy, we should have just sent him over to Iraq by himself and the whole thing would have been settled in three weeks. Him or MacGyver.
New Line is releasing a movie next month called Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle. Product placement has gone too far.
Jake Gyllenhaal looks too much like Tobey Maguire for his own good. It's scary.
Nothing else to talk about now. Sutton out.
Thursday, June 10, 2004; 3:09 p.m.
I haven't blogged in a while, so I figure I will now.
Me and some friends are going to another indy wrestling show in Alton on Saturday, and the main event is a "blindfold battle royal." Me and Mikey were talking about this a few days ago, and the idea of a blindfold battle royal sounded odd to both of us. Regular blindfold matches aren't all that great to begin with, so having a battle royal with all the participants wearing blindfolds doesn't sound like it's gonna be too good. But I'm a mark for battle royals, so maybe I'll end up liking it after all.
Quick shots of horror movie news: Porn star Ginger Lynn has been cast in The Devil's Rejects, and New Line has greenlighted Final Destination 3. It'll be written by Glen Morgan and James Wong, and the rumor is that it will be in 3-D and take place at an amusement park. On the topic of horror movies, I found two articles at MTV.com. One covers the genre's recent rebirth and the other covers the recent trend of remaking Asian horror movies.
Nothing else to report on today. Sutton out.
Wednesday, June 2, 2004; 6:54 p.m.
I caught The Day After Tomorrow at the new theater in Danville last night. It wasn't a bad movie, but it there were things in it that didn't make a lot of sense to me. Like one scene where Dennis Quaid apparently walks all the way from DC to Manhattan during a blizzard. Wouldn't he have passed out from exhaustion or hypothermia? And people can also outrun a sudden drop in temperature by running into the next room. Then again, I've heard the filmmakers have said most of the science errors were intentional for dramatic purposes, so I guess it isn't that big of a deal. Anyway, I'll give it a three out of five. It's good, but not great. But the tornado scene was awesome, and the storms in the 20th Century Fox logo were a neat touch.
The new theater in Danville was neat, but it seemed kinda tiny. There were only seven or eight rows in the particular screen I was in, and the screen itself was only six off the ground. So even the front row is a good seat there. If Danville wasn't 45 minutes away, I'd go there all the time. It's a nice place.
I seriously need to invest in new shelves for my DVD collection.
Huh, apparently there is a wrestling channel in England. According to their site, they air Ring Of Honor, NWA-TNA, CZW, 3PW, CMLL, a British promotion called "the Frontier Wrestling Alliance," classic Memphis wrestling, NOAH, and New Japan. They're gonna be starting a news talk show, as well. I hope something like that can be started in America too, just because I wanna see some Ring Of Honor and CZW without having to track down their videos.
I think it's finally safe to say that Tatu has officially fallen off the musical radar. It's been over a year since "All The Things She Said" was released and to my knowledge, there wasn't a follow-up single. My guess is they didn't realize there isn't a very big American market for gay Russian schoolgirls that sing techno music. And I don't even think "All The Things She Said" as a big enough hit to even call Tatu one hit wonders.
That's all I can think to say for now. Sutton out.
Sunday, May 30, 2004; 4:15 p.m.
So yesterday was the birthday. Want details? No? What do you mean no? You're gonna get them anyway.
Me, my mom, and my aunt started the day by heading to the Texas Roadhouse for lunch. I had one of the best steaks I've ever eaten, and my sneaky aunt got the staff to sing me "Happy Birthday." That was fun, if not embarrassing (and it was definately embarrassing). After that, we went to the movie theater next door and caught Shrek 2. Not a bad movie at all, if I do say so myself. I thought it was just as good as the first one. I'll give it four stars out of my usual five, because it was just that good. And after the success Shrek 2's had, a third one is more than definately gonna happen.
We went from the theater to various shopping destinations. I picked up "The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks, then went to Best Buy and purchased Bubba Ho-Tep, the third Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie. I also got the DVD's of Wrestlemania 19 and 20, Mick Foley's latest DVD, the first season of the Buffy TV show, and the soundtrack to Reservoir Dogs. I'd have gotten the two Freddy Vs. Jason action figures, but no place had them. I guess I'll have to save up some more money and buy them off the Internet.
Anyway, that's all that really happened on my birthday. Today, we had a bunch of family over to visit, though not everybody got to come down due to other stuff going on. It wasn't very eventful, outside of my little buddy Gary D. (who happens to be visiting until Tuesday) hanging on me like a shadow. I love the little boy, but sometimes he just makes me want to hang myself. It's also raining now, and a tornado touched down in Louisville just a little while ago. I want all these freaking storms to go away! I think that ark joke I made in the last update is gonna end up coming to pass.
Whoa, there's a town in Kentucky named Krypton. I saw it on the local news just now, and that is awesome. There should be a town here named "Gotham City." It's only right.
Not much else that I can think of to comment on. If I do think of something, I'll be back. Until then, Sutton out.
Friday, May 28, 2004; 5:00 p.m.
Holy crap, it's been raining like crazy lately. It's been raining more than just cats and dogs, it's been raining the whole freaking zoo. And it's been raining like this for the last few days, too. Any more rain, and I'm gonna have to start building an ark.
Tomorrow's my birthday. I feel so old sometimes, then I remember I'm still in my very early 20s.
Brief horror movie news: Bloody-Disgusting.com reported a few days ago that Leslie Easterbrook has replaced Karen Black as "Mother Firefly" in The Devil's Rejects. I think that was a good move, as there's a strong resemblence between the two. They're not identical, but they look a lot alike. The Devil's Rejects is currently filming in Los Angeles with a scheduled release date of somewhere around Halloween.
Also starting around Halloween is The Horror Channel. All I need after that is a 24-hour pro wrestling channel, and I'll be glued to the TV all day. WWE's working on that On-Demand thing, but I think it would be better as a premium sports network. So instead of doing On-Demand is have potential viewers pay one flat monthly rate instead. I like that idea a lot better, especially because I don't have On-Demand. They could run packages highlighting individual wrestlers or classic feuds (which could cover any era or promotion, considering their huge archive), and maybe have "best of" shows to hype their major pay-per-views. For example, they could do the best of Summerslam in late July through August, or do the best of Wrestlemania from February through March. They've also got the tape catalogues of WCW, ECW, SMW, the AWA, and Jim Crockett Promotions, so they should put them to good use. I think they have some Stampede footage (but I don't know for sure), and they should talk to Jerry Lawler about getting the USWA tape catalogue. If Lawler can't get them the footage, maybe they should just give Jerry Jarrett a call and name a price. Besides, I wouldn't mind seeing some Flex Kavana footage. Man, I never thought Flex Kavana would amount to anything when he was a USWA tag champ, and now he's a movie star, he's won a zillion WWE titles, and the tattoo on his left arm is slowly swallowing his whole body. For those of you who haven't caught it yet (and I bet there's one or two who haven't), Flex Kavana is The Rock.
I caught Back To The Future on TBS last night, and their replacements for profanities makes me laugh. Like "son of a butthead." How can you not giggle at that? The movie still rules, however. Anyone who dislikes Back To The Future is either a liar or hasn't seen it.
Another funny movie is Super Troopers. I watched it last night for the first time in a long while. It's like Monty Python if they were made up of American slackers.
All that rain I mentioned earlier has caused all kinds of damage. The news says there were trees knocked down, downed power lines, blackouts, roofs being ripped off of houses, and a Waffle House in Lexington suffered some damage. That poor Waffle House. What did it ever do to anybody?
You know, they've brought back He-Man, and they've brought back the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They need to bring back the Ghostbusters cartoon, so all three of my childhood loves can be resurrected. I also wouldn't mind seeing Ghostbusters 3, even though it'll never happen. But a revival of the Ghostbusters cartoon would make me super-mega-ultra happy.
A link I was directed to the other night by Krissie got me to thinking... a Buffy The Vampire Slayer cartoon would be cool. If Sabrina The Teenage Witch can get a cartoon remake, so can Buffy. That link featured what Dawn would supposedly look like if she were in the second season, but the drawing sucked. The idea of a 12-year-old Dawn just doesn't jive with me anyway. The drawings of Willow and Xander on the site were good, however. I'd totally watch a Buffy cartoon, even if all the cast from the TV show didn't do the voices. If Sarah Michelle Gellar didn't want to do Buffy's voice, then they should hire Kristy Swanson. That bit of casting would be the bee's knees. I know a lot of die-hard Buffy fans weren't too thrilled with the movie, but having the original Buffy do the voice of cartoon Buffy would be pretty cool.
Thinking of cartoons, they should bring back the Clerks cartoon. That was some great stuff. And I'm still waiting for Clerks 2: Hardly Clerkin'.
I was watching Days Of Our Lives today, and all these insane storylines are starting to make my head hurt. I'd watch the show regardless of quality (since there's nothing better on TV at 1:00 in the afternoon), but some of these storylines just want to make me put a brick through my TV. But at least the show is better than Passions. That show is just awful, but I can't stop watching it. Why? I don't know. It has horrible storylines, horrible actors, and one character with a horrible Jheri curl afro. The only thing going for it is that a certain blonde vampire was a fan of the show.
This update is already too long, so it ends here. Sutton out.
Sunday, May 23, 2004; 11:33 p.m.
Amazingly, there hasn't been a whole lot for me to talk about in the last week. However, there was the last episode of Angel, a high school graduation in Alabama (congratulations, K), I picked up three DVDs yesterday, my sister graduates from high school on Friday, and my birthday is the day after that. I guess I've got those two days to look forward to.
On the topic of the Angel finale, I'm sad to see it go, especially since I just started really getting into the show a month ago. I'm doubtful about watching the reruns on TNT. I don't want to jump into the middle of a lengthy story arc, or discover a character that I thought I was familiar with has undergone a weird metamorphosis (or died, in Cordelia's case). Maybe I should pick up the Angel DVDs after I get the Buffy DVDs. Actually, I kinda like that idea. It could clear up some of those pesky crossover storylines.
After watching the last two episodes of Viva La Bam, I've decided that I'm gonna assemble a crew, rent a couple of RV's, and go to Mardi Gras. And it'll rule. "Party Gras" 2005: be there, or don't be there. See if I care.
And now, it's time for everyone's favorite new segment, Horror Movie News.
Story #1: Scary Movie 4 is set to begin in production sometime near the end of 2004, with a summer 2005 release date. However, Anna Faris (who's starred in the past three installments in the series) will not be starring in the movie due to a scheduling conflict. She might do a cameo, but she'll be filming Brokeback Mountain with Hulk director Ang Lee. I'm not a fan of the Scary Movie trilogy, but I did like Ms. Faris in May. Good flick, that was.
Story #2: The Ring 2 began principal photography a little over a week ago, back on May 13th. Dreamworks ran a full-page ad in Daily Variety to announce it. If the ad ends up being what the poster looks like, that poster will be cool. You can see the ad HERE.
Story #3: At the Cannes Film Festival, Aurora Entertainment confirmed the rumors that Eight Legged Freaks director Ellory Elkayem will be helming back-to-back sequels to The Return of the Living Dead. Production is scheduled to start on June 7th in Romania, and the two movies will be titled Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis and Return of the Living Dead: Rave From The Grave. Judging by the title, the second one will take place at a rave. Call me crazy, but that's how it looks to me.
Story #4: Added to the cast of the House of 1000 Corpses sequel The Devil's Rejects is American Pie star Natasha Lyonne. She's reportedly been signed on to play Candy, a hooker obsessed with Star Wars.
Story #5: I discovered today that the movie Saw, which stars Cary Elwes (who starred in two of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride and Robin Hood: Men In Tights), has a rumored release date of September 17th, with Lions Gate handling distribution. It centers around two men (one of whom is played by Elwes) chained to opposite ends of a subterranian room that are being tormented by a serial killer the media has nicknamed "The Jigsaw Killer." According to some of the circles I run in, the movie is awesome, and it certainly sounds like it. As soon as I get confirmation on that release date, I'll add it to the "Blatant Movie Shilling."
In non-horror movie news, Freddie Highmore has been cast as Charlie in Tim Burton's retelling of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. Johnny Depp will be playing Willy Wonka, and shooting starts this summer in London, with an intended release date of July 15, 2005. I've never heard of Freddie Highmore, but I'll be definately checking out this movie. And Burton better make sure to have the Oompa Loompas, or I'm gonna start chucking bricks at cars from overpasses. Or maybe not.
Monday, May 17, 2004; 8:24 p.m.
I needed to update, so here's some horror movie news stories from your resident Blog Nation horror movie buff.
Story #1: Variety reports that Paramount is starting work on a remake of George Romero's 1972 movie The Crazies, with Romero on deck as an executive producer. The remake will update the original's storyline, which depicted a military quarantine of a small Pennsylvania town infected by a biological weapon that causes permanent homicidal insanity in its victims. I haven't seen the original Crazies, but it sounds cool. I've heard it described as what would have happened in the 28 days that 28 Days Later skipped over, and if that's accurate, then both movies should be awesome.
Story #2: Steve Hoban (producer of the Ginger Snaps trilogy) is set to shoot a remake of the 1975 cult classic Black Christmas. Considered by many as the grandfather of the slasher subgenre, the storyline revolves around an unseen murderer killing the residents of a sorority house. This is another "classic" horror movie I have yet to see, so I'll reserve my opinion until I actually see it.
Story #3: The official website for Seed of Chucky has opened up, and you can either get the link from the "Blatant Movie Shilling" section above or by clicking HERE.
Story #4: There's a few casting shake-ups in Rob Zombie's sequel to House of 1000 Corpses, currently titled The Devil's Rejects. Karen Black and Robert Mukes have dropped out of the movie due to paycheck disputes, and Mukes has been replaced by Tyler Mane. Also joining the cast are William Forsythe, Danny Trejo, Ken Foree, Michael Berryman, Steve Railsbeck, and P.J. Soles, with Kane Hodder signed on as the stunt coordinator. I haven't heard anything on who will be replacing Black, but they better do it soon, because filming is supposed to start at the end of the month.
That's all the news that's fit to print. Sutton out.
Monday, May 10, 2004; 1:42 p.m.
Hey, look! An update! Another week's gone by, and I didn't bother to update until now.
I caught Van Helsing on Friday night and it wasn't bad at all. I thought the ending was a bummer, but other than that, it was pretty rockin'. The "Wolfman vs. Dracula vs. Frankenstein's Monster" concept was neat, and the fight between Van Helsing and Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde was both funny and awesome. The only complaint I have is the excessive CGI. If and when they do a sequel, the filmmakers should watch An American Werewolf In London and see how to do a werewolf with practical effects. Maybe they should hire somebody who can do good looking, realistic effects. Maybe Tom Savini or KNB, I dunno. Anyway, I'll give the movie three and a half stars for being a good roller-coaster ride of a movie.
I also got the chance to attend an OVW show in Bardstown this past Saturday, and it was awesome. The show flew by (lasting only an hour and a half), but I really had a good time. Besides, it was neat getting to see wrestlers I'd seen in WWE (or ECW, in Nova's case) up close for ten dollars. The surprise of the night was an appearance from Lance Storm, who interfered in the Matt Morgan/Johnny Nitro match. It was really unexpected, but then I got home and read that he'd be doing some OVW shows before retiring for good. But if you ever get the chance to see OVW in any way, do so. It gets my seal of approval.
I've got a bunch of new reviews up for you dear readers, as well. First off, we have Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill: Volume One, and Kill Bill: Volume Two. I should go rent Jackie Brown, since it's the only one of Quentin Tarantino's movies I have yet to see. I've also got Cube 2 (and you can read my review for the original Cube HERE). Meanwhile, I'm also working on reviews for Ginger Snaps 2 and both Final Destination movies. Those three reviews are currently works-in-progress and should be coming soon.
Nothing else to report on. Sutton out.
Sunday, May 2, 2004; 4:30 p.m.
Wow, what a long week it's been. Time flies when you don't bother to update your blog.
Took in a bunch of movies this weekend. Some good, some okay. Here we go with my mini-reviews...
The Kentucky Derby was yesterday, and I'm glad it's over. Kentucky's news stations now have nothing to talk about, until college football season starts.
Hey, I've got a birthday in four weeks. You good readers can buy me a gift, but nobody is obligated to. (please buy me things i'm poor)
For those of you who saw my update last Sunday and wondered what Ville Valo was, I'll tell you. Ville Valo is the lead singer of Finnish goth-rock band HIM. You can check them out here or here.
That's really all I've got to say for now. Sutton out.
Sunday, April 25, 2004; 12:54 a.m.
Have no fear, posts are here.
Finally, after months of wait and endless reruns of the first season, Viva La Bam's second season started tonight. Overall, I like. The show's change in location is nice, though I think Bam's obsession with Ville Valo is a little frightening.
I caught Kill Bill: Volume 2 on Saturday night, despite not having seen Volume 1. I liked it, though I may appreciate it more once I see Volume 1. Meanwhile, my dad hated it because it was all story with very little action. His exact quote: "It might as well have been Blair Witch." Unless it's a crime drama, my dad and flicks with dialogue-heavy plots just don't gel. Personally, I thought the Darryl Hannah/Uma Thurman fight was great, and David Carradine was awesome beyond words. Sid Haig as a bartender also got a laugh out of me. I give it three stars, possibly four after I finally see Volume 1.
In the extra features for Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino mentions that he's a fan of slasher movies. He's done his own kung fu movie and his own spaghetti western (if you consider Kill Bill 2 as such), so maybe he should tackle a slasher flick as his next project. A slasher movie by QT would be awesome.
Blender Magazine recently picked what they deemed the 50 worst songs ever. Let's see what they are, counting down from 50.
50.) "My Heart Will Go
On" by Celine Dion
49.) "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred
48.) "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" by The Beatles
47.) "The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You" by
Bryan Adams
46.) "Hangin' Tough" by New Kids On The Block
45.) "Mesmerize" by Ja Rule featuring Ashanti
44.) "I'll Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)"
by Meat Loaf
43.) "Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker
42.) "The Sounds of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel
41.) "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel
40.) "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd
39.) "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin
38.) "Cotton Eyed Joe" by Rednex
37.) "Rico Suave" by Gerardo
36.) "Make Em Say Uhh!" by Master P featuring Silkk The
Shocker, Fiend, Mia-X and Mystikal
35.) "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.
34.) "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg
33.) "Barbie Girl" by Aqua
32.) "Will2K" by Will Smith
31.) "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by Crash Test Dummies
30.) "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston
29.) "Breakfast At Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something
28.) "Your Body Is A Wonderland" by John Mayer
27.) "The Final Countdown" by Europe
26.) "The End" by The Doors
25.) "I'll Be Missing You" by Puff Daddy featuring
Faith Evans and 112
24.) "Superman" by Five For Fighting
23.) "Sunglasses At Night" by Corey Hart
22.) "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry
American)" by Toby Keith
21.) "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors
20.) "Dancing On The Ceiling" by Lionel Richie
19.) "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister
18.) "You're The Inspiration" by Chicago
17.) "Pumps And A Bump" by MC Hammer
16.) "What's Up?" by 4 Non Blondes
15.) "I'll Be There For You" by The Rembrandts
14.) "From A Distance" by Bette Midler
13.) "Illegal Alien" by Genesis
12.) "Kokomo" by The Beach Boys
11.) "Invisible" by Clay Aiken
10.) "Ebony And Ivory" by Paul McCartney and Stevie
Wonder
9.) "American Life" by Madonna
8.) "Party All The Time" by Eddie Murphy
7.) "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin
6.) "The Heart of Rock And Roll" by Huey Lewis &
The News
5.) "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice
4.) "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit
3.) "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung
2.) "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus
1.) "We Built This City" by Starship
Hahaha, the theme song from Friends is on there. And there really are a lot of bad songs on there. But some of these songs are "so bad, they're good." Besides, I stopped putting faith in Blender's lists after they put The Doors in the "worst bands ever" list. Just because Jim Morrison was drunk and/or stoned during just about all of their concerts doesn't mean that The Doors are a bad band.
That's all I've got to say for now.
Friday, April 23, 2004; 1:47 a.m.
Back at Oscar time, I mentioned the MTV Movie Awards. Well, guess what I found? The nominations for this year's MTV Movie Awards. Here they are...
Overall, there's a lot of blah nominees. And no nomination for Freddy Vs. Jason in the "Best Fight" category? Both fights from the movie were freaking awesome, and Robert Englund not getting a "Best Villian" nomination while Andrew Brynarski (who was Leatherface, if you didn't read my review) did is a bummer. I would also assume that Freddy Vs. Jason would get more nominations than You Got Served, 50 First Dates, or Gothika, but that's just me.
Jessica Biel's nomination for "Breakthrough Actress" also strikes me as being odd. When you get right down to it, all she did was run around in a wet tank top and tight jeans. Any random slasher movie heroine could have done that. If they wanted to nominate somebody from a horror movie, they could have nominated Kelly Rowland in Freddy Vs. Jason or Naomie Harris in 28 Days Later.
I'm sure that the stupid Lord of the Rings movie will win every single award, just like at the Oscars. I'm sorry, but a bunch of gay elves looking for a ring doesn't do anything for me. They could just go to the local jewlery store if they wanted a ring so bad. Geez.
Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Sutton out.
Saturday, April 17, 2004; 11:27 p.m.
Hi everybody! ("Hi, Dr. Nick!")
I caught the new version of The Punisher last night, and it wasn't bad. Not great, but not horrible either. It could have definately been better. It's like somebody released a direct-to-video movie in theaters. The movie was John Travolta being all "hey, let's kill Tom Jane" and Tom Jane's all "oh no you didn't" and he kills the people that were gonna kill him and Travolta's cronies are all "crap, that didn't work" and Travolta's all "do it again until you get it right, dummies" and then Jane kills them all again. Lather rince repeat until the end of the movie. But hey, stuff goes boom and Rebecca Romijn is hot.
In other movie news, I think I might just skip Kill Bill: Volume 2. I'll just wait until Quentin Tarantino edits the two volumes back together and puts the whole thing on a DVD. I'm not paying six bucks to see half a movie. Screw those Miramax losers.
This Mordecai gimmick that WWE is doing only means one thing: WWE writers recently saw a Children of the Corn movie and decided to make a gimmick out of it.
Van Helsing looks like a really good movie, and apparently Universal has a lot of faith in it. I read in Entertainment Weekly last week that Universal is paying rent to some town in Prague so they can keep the sets in tact, just in case the movie's a hit. That way, they can make a sequel or two without having to rebuild the sets. Smart thinking, but it'll be a waste if the movie bombs (I doubt it will, but it could).
And since it's popular among others...
The Dante's Inferno Test
has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very High |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | High |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Moderate |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Moderate |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Moderate |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Very Low |
Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test.
That's it for now. Later all.
Friday, April 16, 2004; 2:36 a.m.
Hey, another update. It's about darn time.
I've got a new review up. This time it's the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which you can read right here. You can read my review of the original here. You better enjoy the review, or so help me, I will track you down and I will cut you.
Monday, April 12, 2004; 7:51 p.m.
Went to Lexington today, and picked up the special edition DVD of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake at Best Buy today. Unfortunately, buying that took all my money, because I happened to find the Freddy and Jason action figures at Suncoast 15 minutes later. I was really bummed over that one, but I'll suck it up and move on. Maybe I'll come into 30 bucks soon.
Anyway, I haven't gotten a real chance to check out the extras on my new DVD. Today has been such a gloomy day. Nothing but rain and clouds and ugh. I hate it. It's one of those days where you just want to sit around and do nothing but sleep. I hate those kind of days. I usually don't mind rain, but I just hate yucky days.
Nothing much else to report on. Sutton out.
Friday, April 9, 2004; 9:04 p.m.
Took in a showing of Walking Tall today. Not bad, but it could have been better. It seems like there were scenes missing or something, because The Rock's love interest goes from "hey, Rock, I'm a stripper" to "hey, Rock, you left your jacket in my nudie booth," to "hey, Rock, here's some potato salad, wanna make out?" without any real development. However, I liked The Rock and especially Johnny Knoxville. Rock was great when it came to the action and some humor, and Knoxville provided lots of good comic relief. I'll give it three stars for a good effort. The "dedicated to the memory of Sheriff Buford Pusser" credit was a nice touch too.
And now I'm torn between seeing The Punisher and Hellboy next weekend. It'll be a comic book weekend. I would go see Kill Bill: Volume 2, but having never seen the first one, I'd be totally clueless as to what was going on. Sure, I could rent it, but I don't know when I'll be to a video store.
Nothing else to say. Sutton out.
Thursday, April 8, 2004; 6:46 p.m.
After seeing the ads for Jennifer Garner's new movie 13 Going On 30, and I'm perplexed. I love Big, but who thought it would be a good idea to do a remake of it?
FX makes me angry. I missed the last four episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer because they decided to show Armageddon and two marathons of Cops. At least they showed the third season finale today, though I really didn't need to see Seth Green and David Boreanaz with no shirts. You know, I really should get a job and save up the money to buy each season on DVD (along with the Buffy movie, just for the heck of it).
Nothing else to say. Sutton out.
Tuesday, April 6, 2004; 3:44 a.m.
Blog Feedback: Libby says she likes Anna Ferris. Well, Libby, I suggest renting May. Great little flick that should have gotten a theatrical run. And as for best Jason movie, I'll say that's the sixth one (Jason Lives). The first one and part four (The Final Chapter) are also quality. And I will agree with your opinion that the original Nightmare is the best.
Nick Dinsmore is good. "Eugene Dinsmore" is not. Though the Bushwhacker reference was funny until the face licking. Ew.
On another wrestling related note: You know how I mentioned that spinning suplex neckbreaker move? Mike's right, Rob Conway does do it. It's the same as La Resistance's finisher, only with the guy's feet on the ropes instead of on Sylvan Grenier's shoulders.
Anyway, I'm all tapped out of stuff to say. Sutton out.
Sunday, April 4, 2004; 1:56 a.m.
Took in an indy wrestling show tonight. Not very many notable names (outside of Terry Alan, who was listed in the PWI 500), but it was very enjoyable. Some of the matches included moves that I'd either never seen, or had never seen in person. One match featured a standing shooting star press and a firebird splash, and another match featured a weird move where Wrestler 1 lifted up Wrestler 2 for a suplex, but hooked Wrestler 2's feet on the top rope and gave him a twisting neckbreaker. It's hard to explain, but it was sweet. I tried explaining it to Mikey, and he says Rob Conway's used the move a few times. If he has, I must have missed it.
We have a new review up at Sutton At The Movies. This time, I complete the Return Of The Dead Trilogy, with Return of the Living Dead, Part 2. You can read my review for the first one HERE and the third one HERE.
That's it for this update. Sutton out.
Thursday, April 1, 2004; 3:05 a.m.
Happy April Fools Day, you fools!
Since it's April Fools Day, I figured I'd share a story about a couple of fools. I heard this on MTV News last night, and it's gotta be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. You can read the story in full by clicking this link right here, but I'll sum it up. Basically, former Jackass stars Steve-O, Chris Pontius, and Jason "Wee-Man" Acuña showed up at a radio show in Toronto to promote the Canadian part of their "Don't Try This At Home" tour, as well as Steve-O and Pontius's nature show Wildboyz. Dressed in nothing but sweatpants, they dropped a few F-bombs and graphically described a stunt Steve-O calls "The Butterfly" (if you didn't click the link and want to know what that is, see me and I'll tell you). Security ended up having to throw all three Jackasses out, but only after Steve-O whipped out Lil' Steve-O and peed on a wall. The hosts of the radio show were fined and suspended without pay until this past Tuesday for violating the station's programming policies. Geez, there's a difference in being a jackass and being a freaking moron.
On the topic of former Jackass cast members, I think Dave Letterman may be misinformed. Johnny Knoxville was a guest on the show tonight to promote Walking Tall, and Dave kept saying he was "better known as Johnny Jackass." He is? Sure, Johnny was the Jackass ringleader, but has anybody besides Dave ever called him Johnny Jackass? Geez, if he was known as that, he'd be better off going by his real name (which is P.J. Clapp, since you probably didn't know). I like Letterman, but this "Johnny Jackass" thing is just dumb. Besides, the last episode of the Jackass TV show aired two years ago. Get with the program, Dave.
The cover of my Evil Dead 2 video is creeping me out. It's just sitting in the floor staring at me. Either I'm going crazy or it wants to eat my soul. I should have my new mascot, the ferocious Evil Monkey, take care of it. Surely it shall be a battle comparable to the epic Shark Vs. Alligator brouhaha that recently thrilled viewers of Adult Swim. The Evil Monkey vs. The Evil Dead. Be there. Or don't be there. See if I care.
Batman's got himself a new ride. It's... different. I thought it looked dumb at first, but it's growing on me. It's weird imagining Batman wheeling around in a Batmobile that looks like a tank, though I think it could be pretty cool once Batman Begins comes out.
I've recently been thinking of taking up golf. Not in going to courses and playing 18 holes, just hanging out in my front yard with some clubs and hitting balls. It's kinda like that one scene in Fight Club. You can get a million of these little "practice" golf balls (which are basically miniature wiffle balls) for something like 50 cents at Wal-Mart's sporting goods section. I've got 50 cents, so all I need are some clubs. And a caddy. Maybe a golf cart too.
You know a movie that's begging to be made? A third Bill & Ted movie. Keanu Reeves is no stranger to trilogies, and Alex Winter really isn't doing anything. Just call them and George Carlin up, and get this thing made.
You know, Godsend comes out in four weeks. They better make with the TV ads now, because this thing has no buzz at all. Other than the trailer looking cool, I haven't heard a single thing about it. But since it's being released by Lions Gate, it'll probably only see an extremely limited release, so all the TV ads in the world won't matter.
That's all for now. Sutton out.
Sunday, March 28, 2004; 9:55 p.m.
OMG a post!
I picked up the 2004 PWI Almanac at Wal-Mart last night. I've gotten the PWI Almanac every year since they've started publishing them way back in 1996, so I was looking forward to it this year. Besides, I needed to replace my 2003 edition after it fell to pieces a few weeks back. The 2004 PWI Almanac is five well-spent dollars.
MTV knows how to make me happy. Viva La Bam reruns are a good thing. :)
My "Poptopia: The Movie" script (which I last mentioned a little over two weeks ago) is coming along nicely. I have my ideas for what I'm gonna do with all the characters, but I'm having a hard time deciding on who's gonna be one of the main supporting characters without having to re-write my plans for the characters. Other than that, it's going good so far.
That's all for now. Later.
Friday, March 26, 2004; 3:43 p.m.
As promised, here's some new reviews for Sutton At The Movies. Since Kevin Smith's new flick Jersey Girl opens today, we have his five previous films: Clerks (click here), Mallrats (click here), Chasing Amy (click here), Dogma (click here), and Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back (click here).
You know what really sucks? No theater within a respectable driving distance is showing Jersey Girl. I guess no theater around here wanted to carry a movie with both Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in it following the Gigli disaster (even if J-Lo is only in Jersey Girl for a few minutes). Too bad I have a crappy 56K modem, otherwise I'd just grab a bootleg of it of Kazaa until I could get to see it legit.
Anyway, that is all for now. Sutton out.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004; 11:51 p.m.
You are Snoopy!
Which Peanuts Character are
You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I so want this book.
I hearby proclaim that the mascot for my blog shall be... the Evil Monkey!
That is all. Sutton out.
Monday, March 22, 2004; 11:53 p.m.
Tonight on Raw, we saw the WWE's draft lottery, which was basically a "random" drawing. Let's see how it went...
Quick random thoughts: Rene Dupree as the first pick? I guess it really WAS a random drawing after all. I also guess that rumored Team Angle reunion won't be happening after all. Paul Heyman putting guys like Jindrak & Cade and La Resistance over as "supergroups" is just too funny for words. And Nidia gets to join the women's division. Good for her. The locker room wishing Triple H goodbye... HA. Heyman gets drafted to Raw and quits? I guess this could set up that ECW revival that's been rumored for so long.
You know, I don't really know which show got the better end of the deal. Both got some good, both got some bad. I went in thinking it was gonna be a complete restart, but I guess not. And the huge show-ending brawl, I liked. I wanna see a Smackdown Vs. Raw show now.
B: To answer your feedback question, going to Haloscan.com should help. Any future questions can be directed to me or Mikey.
That's all. Bye.
Sunday, March 21, 2004; 11:23 p.m.
Okay folks, I have my review of the Dawn of the Dead remake up now, which you can read HERE.
Meanwhile, the University of Alabama-Birmingham can kiss my shiny metal Kentucky butt. Grrr.
Nothing else to say. Sutton out.
Sunday, March 21, 2004; 12:49 a.m.
Got back from seeing the Dawn of the Dead remake around two hours ago, and I liked the movie a lot. It's a WAY different experience than the original, focusing more on action than the life of the characters inside the mall. One scene intended as an homage to the original just didn't have the same impact as it did in Dawn '78, though some of the more subtle homages were great. I also absolutely loved the cameos from Dawn '78 cast members Tom Savini, Ken Foree, and Scott Reiniger, as well as the obvious reference to Gaylen Ross (another Dawn '78 cast member). The songs in the movie really added to the movie. Hearing the upbeat sound of Johnny Cash's "The Man Comes Around" play over the opening credits just dripped of dark humor, while a lounge version of Disturbed's "Down With The Sickness" during one scene got a big laugh from me. The scenes spliced in with the credits were also really cool. Unfortunately, the larger cast meant less character development. Some of the characters just served as cannon fodder, barely allowing any kind of sympathy over their deaths. Overall, I'll give Dawn '04 three stars, as it's a good blend of horror and action, with the occasional dash of humor. I might do a full review of it sometime soon, while I've still got my likes and dislikes in my head.
Nothing much else to talk about, so I'll wrap this up here. Sutton... out.
Friday, March 19, 2004; 4:02 p.m.
Happy Friday, dear readers.
Semi-quick note to Penny (and DVD collectors in general): you might want to hold back on buying the Dawn of the Dead DVD. Sometime in September, Anchor Bay is supposed to release a multi-disc special edition of the original Dawn of the Dead with three different versions of the movie on it. There's the U.S. theatrical cut, an extended cut (called the "director's cut," though George Romero prefers his theatrical version), and Dario Argento's European cut. (Released as Zombie in Europe, Argento trimmed a lot of the longer character-driven scenes, emphasizing on the action.) Unless you can't wait until September or don't mind double-dipping, I don't really see the need to buy the recently released DVD. I bought it, but that's only because it was only 15 bucks and I really wanted to own a copy of it. I also need to pick up the DVD of the Night of the Living Dead remake, just because it'd be neat to have. Maybe they'll do a remake of Day of the Dead sometime, just so the whole trilogy can be redone. While I'm thinking of it, I do find it weird that Hollywood can do a remake of Dawn of the Dead, yet they don't want to spend the money to produce Romero's fourth installment in the Dead Trilogy (titled Twilight of the Dead or Dead Reckoning, depending on who you talk to).
While I'm on the subject of the Dead Trilogy, we've got two new reviews for you up at "Sutton At The Movies." Since the remake of Dawn of the Dead debuts today, I thought I'd do a little fun advertising and give you my review of the original Dawn of the Dead from 1978 (which you can read HERE). And I might as well wrap up the trilogy and do Day of the Dead as well (and you can read that HERE). I'll also direct you to my review of the original Night of the Living Dead (click here), so you can get my views on all three parts of the trilogy. Since I doubt I'll be able to see Dawn '04 until Saturday due to circumstances beyond my control, you'll have to wait until then or Sunday for my mini-review.
The View Askew reviews will be up next Friday, so you can start counting the days. It's about time I started reviewing some non-horror movies, because I need to expand my horizons. I've got my eye on one of my favorite flicks, Braveheart, so I might do that sometime. Lost In Translation starts on pay-per-view today, and I might just review that too. Even if I don't review it, I still wanna watch it.
There's two indy wrestling shows around here this weekend, and I can't decide which one I wanna go to yet, if I go to either. I likes me some indy wrestling, but I hate decisions like this. There's an OVW show coming to the area in May, and I'll totally be there because I *heart* OVW.
Seed of Chucky just started filming in Prague, and Bloody-Disgusting.com says it has a tentative release date of October 29. I think I just might see it, as well as that remake of The Amityville Horror. I'm not too crazy about the original Amityville Horror or its sequels, but I just can't say no to a ghost story. The rumor is that it's supposed to stay a lot closer to the book about the events that took place, as opposed to taking liberties like the first movie did.
I'm watching VH1 right now, and as I type this, they're playing the video for "My Immortal" by Evanescence. It's probably one of my favorite songs right now, and the video is great too. The song is just so good, it's scary. I'm very glad I picked up their CD, because as I said a few days ago, there's not one bad song on the album.
Meanwhile, on MTV, "Meant To Live" by Switchfoot is on. I'm surprised the song is getting so much MTV play, considering all of Switchfoot's prior success came in the Christian music industry. The same goes for Stacie Orrico, who had an appearance in the Macy's Thanksgiving parade and two hit music videos with "Stuck" and "(There's Gotta Be) More To Life." I'm shocked by all these Christian musicians that are going mainstream nowadays. I'm not complaining, but still, it's weird. I guess Jesus decided that since he made 500 million bucks at the box office, he wants to be on MTV too.
Thanks to my green St. Patrick's Day post, Krissie thinks I should post something in pink for her. Why pink? It shows up better on a black background. So here you are, Kris. Something in pink. I hope it makes you happy. :)
All this talk about Bruce Campbell being in Freddy Vs. Jason 2 is freaking crazy. As much as I love Bruce and the "Ash" character, they should make Evil Dead 4 and keep him away from Freddy and Jason. And as much as I loved Freddy Vs. Jason, I just don't have a lot of faith in a sequel. Sure, I'd go see Freddy Vs. Jason 2 a million times, I'd rather see an eleventh Friday The 13th sequel or an Elm Street prequel. I think an Elm Street prequel is actually a pretty fun idea, just to see Robert Englund play Freddy for an entire movie without wearing the makeup. On the other hand, an eleventh Friday The 13th movie would be touch-and-go. They'd have to something to spice it up without being goofy (Jason X, I'm looking at you). At least with Freddy, every person has different dreams and fears, so Freddy's always at least a little different. Jason just shows up and kills you dead. The only differences from death to death are the type of weapon Jason uses, and the situations he catches his victims in. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of Jason, but I just wanna see something a little out of the ordinary. Maybe he could pull a Mama Cass and kill somebody with a ham sandwich. (Doesn't that visual just make you laugh at its absurdity?)
Geez, look how late it is. I've been sitting here for three hours typing this update. The original Night of the Living Dead is on one of the Starz channels, and after that, I'm heading to bed, folks. Have a good Friday, and if you can't be good, be bad. Later.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004; 8:54 p.m.
Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody. I'm not Irish, but Irish people are freaking cool.
Saturday, March 13, 2004; 11:59 p.m.
"IS THAT MY DAUGHTER IN
THERE?!"
The above quote, which goes along with the picture on the left. has become kind of a running gag among some of my fellow posters at the Friday The 13th Forum, and I post it because I finally got a chance to see Mystic River tonight. It was just too great for words, and it'll be a welcome addition to my DVD collection whenever it comes out. It gets five stars, for sure. It's right up there with Freddy vs. Jason and X-Men 2 on my list of favorite movies from 2003.
Nothing else to report on. Later.
Saturday, March 13, 2004; 12:20 a.m.
Since some of my contemporaries have been discussing their harems, here's the one I drafted in the special "Harem Draft" at one of my usual online stopping points.
1.) Mandy Moore
Those who know me really well know I'm a big Mandy Moore fan.
I've seen A Walk To Remember at least 15 times, I own
all four of her CDs, and I'm just in love with her. What's Andy
Roddick have that I don't have? I mean, besides the money and the
fame and the talent and the looks and all that crap.
2.) Alyson Hannigan
One of the big reasons I started watching Buffy. Alyson is just
too adorable for words.
3.) Michelle
Rodriguez
I don't know what it is, but I have a thing for cute tomboys, and
judging by the characters Michelle usually plays (the tough chick
who's still a girly-girl deep down), she's definately a cute
tomboy.
4.) Anna Paquin
Watch the X-Men movies and tell me you don't find her at least a
little attractive.
5.) Ashley Olsen
I know she's not 18 yet, but I just picked her to annoy my main
man Dave (since in our little draft, he picked Mary Kate and was
aiming for both Olsens).
6.) Julia Stiles
While I'm not a particular fan of her work, she's got one cute
smile and I can't say no to that.
7.) Christina Ricci
Have you SEEN Christina Ricci?
8.) Kirsten Storms
Those of you who watch Days Of Our Lives, you might
recognize her as Belle Black. She's actually one of the few
reasons I watch Days Of Our Lives, so she should be
proud.
9.) Leelee Sobieski
I like Leelee. That's really all of the explanation I can think
of.
10.) Jennifer
Aniston
It's Jennifer Aniston! Do I NEED a
reason?
I would have had Amy Lee and Jessica Biel on here, but they were taken before me in the "Harem Draft" that prompted me to compose this list. If I'd had my way, I'd replace Kirsten Storms and Ashley Olsen with them. Other honorable mentions go to Jennifer Tilly, Bridgette Nielsen-Sampras, Ali Larter, Amber Tamblyn, and pro wrestlers Lita, Victoria, and Trish Stratus.
I've got eight new reviews for "Sutton At The Movies," but I'm not gonna put them up at the moment. But I will let you know what the movies are: Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, and House of the Dead (which I saw on PPV today). I might work on reviewing the X-Men and Batman movies if I can ever get up off my lazy butt to do it.
Speaking of movies I saw on PPV, I caught Thirteen the other day. That is one freaky movie. If I ever have a daughter, she's not leaving the house until she's 21. I'll move to an Amish community or an underground bomb shelter if I have to, just as long as she doesn't end up as a skanky 13-year-old like the girls in Thirteen.
You know, I think I'm gonna post that House of the Dead review. You can read that by clicking here.
So that's all for today. Thank you and good night.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004; 1:28 p.m.
You know what I really hate now? Rap music. I hate it now more than ever. I spent four freaking hours downloading some of the most horrible disgraces to the music industry. And why? Because my sister, for sume ungodly reason, thinks rap music is cool. Folks, rap music stopped being anywhere near good in 1997. I know I have a few rap tunes in my MP3 collection, and I even like everyone's favorite rapping wrestler John Cena (I even plan on buying his CD whenever it drops), but most rap "music," and I use the word "music" very loosely, has become a hideous abomination. Groups like Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five and Public Enemy actually had something to say in their songs, but now it seems like somebody took the lyrics to Jimmy Buffet's "Let's Get Drunk And Screw" and created an entire genre of music, only with more profanity and drug references. I seriously wanna find whoever invented rap music and punch him in the face. Rap music even made Justin Timberlake go insane. He was a sugar-coated teeny-bopper in N'Sync, and now he's a quasi-rapper that likes to rip off Janet Jackson's clothes. Who's the next pretty boy to enter the rap world? John Mayer? Clay Aiken?
On another end of the musical spectrum, it's starting to seem like rock music is starting to die a slow, painful death. And stupid teenage girls are killing it. I rarely ever see any rock videos during TRL, and Headbanger's Ball is on the much-unloved MTV2. I think it would be cool to see death metal bands like Amorphis, Dimmu Borgir, or Slipknot on TRL, but it'll never happen. (I'm not a huge fan of death metal, but it would still be neat.) Instead, we get drivel like Hilary Duff and Britney Spears (though I will admit, "Toxic" is really catchy and the video for it is cool). Hell, I'd be happy if Tatu got more play. They're actually a really good pop group, and I love their CD. It's like pop with enough techno and rock built in to make it stand out. Unfortunately, Tatu seems like they'll just be an American flash in the pan. I see a similar future for Evanescence, which is a shame. I hope I'm wrong about both Evanescence and Tatu, because they're both really good. At least Evanescence's videos are getting a lot of play, and "My Immortal" is freaking awesome. I got sick of "Bring Me To Life," but there's really not one bad song on their album. Your mileage may vary, however.
Okay, enough of my music rant. If I didn't hate rap and if it didn't keeping me from chatting with my three or four usuals, I wouldn't have been as pissed off.
You know what surprises me? Misty Mundae movies getting played on Cinemax. I noticed Play-Mate of the Apes was on last night, and they've shown Lord of the G-Strings a few times in the last couple of months. Then again, Cinemax does air a lot of softcore porno late at night. And for everyone who came here from Google (thanks to the phrases "Misty Mundae" and "softcore porno"), there's no porno here. Sorry.
For those of you who missed the special on Spike TV, here's what WWE considers the top ten greatest matches in Wrestlemania history, in order by ranking:
I love the triangle ladder match and all, but putting it at number two? There's no way it's better than Razor/Michaels, Savage/Steamboat, or Hart/Austin.
I found out this week that Boston Public got cancelled and I didn't even know it. That really sucks. I liked Boston Public. :(
You know, I've been putting some thought into picking up my "Poptopia: The Movie" project again. I've gotten some funny ideas for scenes and dialogue exchanges jotted down (and some ideas for a possible soundtrack), and if I have to rip off something, I guess I'll just have to. As I said back when I first mentioned this, anybody who's got good ideas for scenes can feel free to suggest them either over AIM, Yahoo, or on my comment cards. And if you think I suck and my idea for this sucks, you can tell me that too, I guess.
Anyway, that's all for now. Everybody be good while I'm gone, and if you can't be good, be bad. Later.
Monday, March 8, 2004; 11:16 p.m.
And now... Raw Random Thoughts.
Overall, I'll give this episode of Raw a B-minus. Not bad, but not exactly world-stopping either. That's all I've really got to say about this week's Raw. Family Guy's calling my name, so I'm out.
Monday, March 8, 2004; 8:54 p.m.
You are Xander. You're a cool guy and you can
occasionally throw a good punch. Good for you.
Which Buffy Character Are
You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I was hoping for somebody like Spike, since Spike's all cool and whatnot, but I'm not gonna complain. Xander's cool too. And have I mentioned lately that I'm addicted to Buffy The Vampire Slayer now? It's weird, because I used to really dislike Buffy, but I started watching reruns on FX last month and now I'm hooked. If I'd watched Buffy in college, I'd have had something fun to do. A group of my friends (anywhere from eight to 15 at a time) would get together weekly to watch Buffy, and I wish I'd have been involved. Oh well, I guess hindsight's 20/20. And you readers can feel free to buy me the season DVDs and/or the movie from my Amazon wish list. You don't have to, but it would be nice and thoughtful. :)
Wrestlemania 20 is next Sunday. Will it be good? I hope so. I mean, it's freaking Wrestlemania. Not just any Wrestlemania, mind you, but Wrestlemania 20. It better be good, dagnabbit. I hope Raw tonight is good too.
Libby's latest update reminds me of that one scene in Kindergarten Cop. "IT'S NOT A TUMOR!"
These DirecTV "fan letter" ads alternate between cool, dumb, and hilarious. Hearing Lawrence Fishborne yell "JUMPING JEHOSEPHAT YEE-HAW!" at the top of his lungs is too funny for words.
Two new movies added to the Blatant Movie Shilling: Hellboy and Walking Tall. I'm not too familiar with the Hellboy character (because I don't read comics), but it looks cool. And considering Walking Tall has The Rock and Johnny Knoxville (as well as being a remake of a Joe Don Baker movie), I'll have to give it a shot.
And now, we have comments! Since I don't talk to too many folks on AIM or Yahoo, I figure the addition of comment cards would be an easy way for people to tell me what's up. And I can also get feedback on my reviews, which I think will come in handy.
I'm gonna wrap things up for now. I might be back later with Raw comments, but then again, I might not. But for now, dear readers, excelcior.
Saturday, March 6, 2004; 9:07 p.m.
I managed to catch The Passion of the Christ this afternoon, and I was a more than a little disappointed. Maybe it didn't help that I was squeezed at the end of the second row in front of the screen next to a fat woman whose butt took up all of her seat and some of mine. If it wasn't for the armrest, she'd have been in my lap. Having to look at the screen at an angle with my nose practically against it ruined things for me, plus I don't think the movie was as good as everybody makes it out to be. And for one Miss Lane, if you read this before seeing the movie, there IS no real story to The Passion. Aside from a few flashbacks, we basically learn nothing about Christ's life. But then again, that's not the point. The point was to show what happened when Jesus died. From the violence aspect, there are far more violent movies out there. I guess the lifetime of watching violent movies has dulled my Spidey Senses. I'll give The Passion two stars for effort. Maybe a more pleasent theater experience would have made my opinion a bit more favorable. That happens.
The next few weeks should be theatrical fun, however. I might go see Mystic River next weekend (shouldn't the DVD be out already?), and the Dawn of the Dead remake, Scooby Doo 2, and Jersey Girl all come out within the next three weeks. Secret Window has caught my eye, but I haven't heard any buzz on it. I might wait until Secret Window makes its home video or pay-per-view debut before I see it, but whatever.
Thinking of Dawn of the Dead, the USA Network makes me happy. USA will be airing the first ten minutes of the movie sometime between 10:00 and 10:30 p.m. during their showing of Final Destination on Monday, March 15th. For those of you who want the first ten minutes spoiled before then, click here and highlight the grey area.
I saw The Passion today, and ABC is airing Frequency right now. I think I'm going into a Jim Caviezel overload.
According to IGN, there's rumors of a possible Freddy Vs. Jason video game. If it's made and doesn't get a Gamecube release, calling me "unhappy" will be an understatement.
Not a whole lot else to talk about.
Thursday, March 4, 2004; 7:06 p.m.
You're George
McFly!
Take the Which Person from Back to
the Future Are You? Quiz
I'm Crispin Glover! This makes me happy. :)
I also have a little news to share with those of you in the Blog Nation (you know who you are). If I haven't told you already, I got a letter in the mail from Krissie the other day, and she asked me to share with everyone that she might not be online as much, due to her computer being futzed up. I can't speak for everyone else, but I'm gonna miss seeing you around, Kris.
Not a whole lot else to say. Later.
Monday, March 1, 2004; 6:14 p.m.
As promised last night, here are the winners of the 2004 Academy Awards:
So there you are. Return of the King gets eleven freaking Oscars, tying it with Ben-Hur and Titanic for most overall. All that for a bunch of elves chasing some bling bling. I must be missing something.
Sunday, February 29, 2004; 10:51 p.m.
I saw a Jersey Girl ad today, so my earlier complaint is now nothing to worry about. :)
With Wrestlemania XX on the way, and after discussing wrestling video games with a couple of people, I've thought of a good idea for a game. Well, I think it's good, and that's all that matters. Anyway, THQ's next game for the Gamecube will probably be titled "Wrestlemania XX," it could be a two-disc set. Disc one would feature the current WWE roster and all the TV sets and recent PPV sets. Maybe they could include some backstage areas like the Smackdown games, and hopefully they'd license all the theme music instead of doing generic riffs to replace them. They could probably include the NWO music, "Real American," the DX music and entrance, and a lot of the old, recognizable themes for things like CAWs, and they could include a Create-A-Stable feature too. I wouldn't mind having a better career mode, a Hardcore Battle Royal, and eight-man tag matches (the Legends Of Wrestling games have them, and I want a WWE game with them!). I guess I'm saying I want a Gamecube game to have all of the features of a PS2 game with a few extras. Is that so wrong?
As for disc two, that would be a "Wrestlemania Legends" game. It'd have all kinds of wrestlers from past Wrestlemanias, as well as all the sets from the past Manias. They could have all three sets from Mania 2, and in the case of Manias 4 and 5 having the same set, there'd be a little difference (i.e. one arena banner saying "WWF Wrestlemania IV" and the other saying "WWF Wrestlemania V"). As for the roster, it would be almost like the Legends Of Wrestling games, only with WWE and THQ making it. Then again, I'd be happy with just slapping a few legends into the game with the current roster, like Here Comes The Pain. And the next Legends Of Wrestling game sounds like it could be cool, so I may have to check it out
The Oscars are on right now, and you can expect to see a full list of the winners right here either tomorrow or whenever I feel like it. Meanwhile, I wanna punch The Lord of theRings in the face. That is all.
Much thoughts and prayers go out to Krissie's main squeeze Way and Chuck's little girl Melanie. Get well soon, you two.
I think I've said pretty much everything I've wanted to say for now. Later.
Sunday, February 29, 2004; 1:15 a.m.
It's Leap Day! Whee!
I caught Club Dread on Friday night, just because The Passion of the Christ was sold out and I wasn't in the mood for Mystic River (which just started showing here this weekend). It wasn't bad, though it wasn't great either. Super Troopers was a lot better, but I still liked Club Dread. I'll give it a solid two stars.
You know what's weird? I'm seeing all kinds of Dawn of the Dead ads, and not a single Jersey Girl ad. Jersey Girl comes out a week before Dawn of the Dead, so why no ads? It boggles the mind.
Speaking of Dawn of the Dead, I've done a review of the original 1978 movie and its sequel, Day of the Dead. Expect them posted on the day of its release. I'd do a review of the remake of Night of the Living Dead to go with them, but I lost my tape of it. If I can find it or rent a copy between now and then, I will. I'm also working on reviews of Kevin Smith's movies (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back), which I hope to post on the day Jersey Girl comes out. I've got the first three done, and I still need to do Dogma and Jay & Silent Strike Back.
Not much else to discuss, so later.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004; 10:21 p.m.
Took a trip to Lexington with my mom and aunt, and scored some swag at the mall. I picked up a new copy of CKY's "Infiltrate Destroy Rebuild" CD to replace my old copy (which was scratched up and had a hard time playing), as well as the DVDs of Ginger Snaps and Day of the Dead. I haven't really gotten to sit down and review them, but the Ginger Snaps DVD is a disappointment as far as extra features go. All there is is the trailer. Maybe I should have imported the Canadian DVD, but I'm happy I just have a decent copy of the movie (as opposed to the one I taped onto an old, beat-up tape when it aired on Cinemax a month or two ago). Plus with the American DVD, highlighting "Play Movie" and hitting enter plays the trailer, and hitting "View Trailer" will play the movie. That's some crummy DVD authoring if you ask me.
Anyway, that's all for now.
Monday, February 16, 2004; 10:31 p.m.
Thanks to Rob T, I've got all my lost archives back. I've organized them from 2001, 2002, and 2003, and you can read said archives by clicking the links at the top.
That's all for now.
Saturday, February 14, 2004; 1:51 a.m.
I hope everyone had a happy Friday The 13th, and I hope that everyone that has a reason to enjoy Valentine's Day does so. Meanwhile, in honor of Valentine's Day, I'd like to entertain everyone with a song. This one goes out to the The Pink Lady, B Lovette. Sing it if you know it...
You love
her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing's for sure...
Love
stinks!
Love stinks, yeah yeah
Love stinks!
Love stinks, yeah yeah
Love stinks!
Love stinks, yeah yeah
Love stinks!
Love stinks, yeah yeah
What do you mean, you don't like my singing? Well, I have a microphone and you don't, so you will listen to every damn word I have to say! Understood?
Okay, that's enough Wedding Singer nonsense for you. And that's enough from me. Later.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004; 1:27 a.m.
Not much to update on. Just wanted everyone to know that I've updated "Sutton At The Movies" with three new reviews: Jeepers Creepers 2, Joy Ride, and Cabin Fever. Read and enjoy. :)
Saturday, February 7, 2004; 7:56 p.m.
And now, a new review up at "Sutton At The Movies": the indy werewolf movie Ginger Snaps. You can read that review HERE, and I hope you enjoy it.
Saturday, February 7, 2004; 12:49 p.m.
Somehow, my site has been DESTROYED. Everything from November 2001 to part of my update from this past Monday is absolutely g-o-n-e GONE, and I don't know why. I don't think it'll ever come back, either. So I have rechristened the site "Mattitude, Version Two."
Friday, February 6, 2004; 11:00 p.m.
MTV2 makes me proud. How can you go wrong with huge blocks of Celebrity Deathmatch and Beavis & Butthead? Too bad they had to be up against Joan of Arcadia (which is a show I've just started to get into) tonight, but I'll survive. At least Boston Public wasn't on, so I got to watch Beavis & Butthead without changing the channel between shows. Though I do like Boston Public a lot. Very good TV, it is.
Happy anniversary to everyone's favorite Southern belle Krissie, and her significant other Waylon. They celebrate a year of dating bliss today. Ah, to be young and in love. Congratulations, you two wacky kids. Here's hoping for another year of happiness.
You know, I've been sitting here for two hours and I can't think of anything else to add. Later.
Thursday, February 5, 2004; 5:21 p.m.
Greetings and salutations, faithful readers. For those of you that were directed here from Rob T's 411 article, I welcome you. Feel free to check out The Horror Movie Survival Guide, and my pet project, Sutton At The Movies.
Thinking of movies, I'd entertained the idea of penning a script based on my associates/partners-in-crime in the Blog Nation. I had a few ideas for scenes (one scene involved a group of people over-exaggerating something that happened at a party), and I even wrote ten pages, but it ended up being a ripoff of both Clerks and Bam Margera's movie Haggard. And since I'm not a very talented or original scriptwriter, I doubt Poptopia: The Movie will ever be a reality. Oh well, no big loss, I guess. Anybody that wants to suggest ideas over AIM is welcome. I can't promise that I'll actually get off my lazy butt to ever pick it up again, but eh, the thought is there.
There might be more later, if I can think of something to post. Later.
Wednesday, February 4, 2004; 11:34 p.m.
Just thought I'd point out the changes to the "Blatant Movie Shilling" above. Added are Kill Bill: Volume 2, Godsend, The Ring 2, and the remake of the Amityville Horror. Since neither the Ring sequel or The Amityville Horror have official sites yet, I added related links. The Ring link leads to what I think is the best Ring fansite on the Net, and the Amityville Horror link leads to a feature at CrimeLibrary.com. That feature details the real story of Amityville. It's not like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which was a fictional story with some truth added for flavor. The Amityville Horror really started as a true story before those involved admitted it was a hoax.
Not much else to update on right now, so goodbye for now.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004; 2:41 p.m.
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love movies. That's why I'm making this post. They made the Academy Award nominations recently, so I've decided to share them with you, my faithful readers. Feel free to comment at the Atoll or wherever you see fit.
To be totally honest, I can't really comment on any of these categories. I've only seen bits and pieces of Finding Nemo and Pirates of the Caribbean, so I can't pick anything. Maybe I can when the MTV Movie Awards roll around. And when MTV's awards roll around, you can find those nominations right here at the Blog Of 1000 Corpses.
Saturday, January 24, 2004; 9:12 p.m.
Hey, everybody! I'm updating! I know, what a shocker. Anyway, I have stuff to talk about now.
First off, hello to my number-one e-lady Krissie. Here I am, talking about you here like I promised oh so long ago. Kisses and hugs, love. :)
Went and saw The Butterfly Effect last night, and I really liked it a lot. Probably the best movie of the short-lived year that is 2004. Certainly better than my last cinematic venture. Ashton Kutcher got back into my good graces with the movie, which was cooler than the other side of the pillow. It was kinda weird, but in a good way.
I also went to the E-Town mall and picked up the Cabin Fever DVD, a Bam Margera shirt (which you can see HERE), and the clerk at FYE hooked me up with a free Freddy Vs. Jason poster. Needless to say, I'll give FYE business the next time I'm in E-Town.
Anyway, nothing else new to report on. A Rambo movie on TV is calling my name, so I'm out of here. Later, all.
Friday, January 17, 2004; 1:57 a.m.
There's a new review up at Sutton At The Movies, folks. This time it's the 1982 sci-fi cult classic The Thing, which you can read by clicking HERE. Read and enjoy. :)
Wednesday, January 14, 2004; 7:09 p.m.
Yesterday, the battle came home. Yeah, I'm the proud owner of the Freddy Vs. Jason DVD. I haven't really had a chance to go through all of the special features on the second disc, but what I have seen, I've mostly enjoyed. No complaints from me, none at all.
A friend of mine loaned me his copy of True Crime: Streets Of LA for my Gamecube, and I have to get that game for myself soon. Since there's no Grand Theft Auto games for the GC, this will have to do. And it's a fun game, too. :)
Thinking of True Crime, I think I'm gonna go enjoy some of that right now. Viva La Gamecube! Later.
Friday, January 9, 2004; 11:08 p.m.
I made my first trip to the cinemas in 2004 tonight, and I saw Chasing Liberty. Kinda predictable at times, but not a bad movie. Just a mediocre movie, maybe two stars at most. Mandy Moore and her leading man (whose name escapes me right now) really shine, but the rest of the movie is just kinda bleh. Mandy Moore should watch out, or else she could end up falling into the role of "talented actress in crappy movies." I mean, look what happened to Sandra Bullock. Outside of Demolition Man, I can't think of any movie she's done that wasn't a romantic comedy. At least Mandy Moore has her music career to fall back on, and maybe it's a good thing her fourth album branched away from that bubblegum pop fluff that was her first three albums. I thought "Coverage" was her best CD, and if her next album sounds like it, it might be just as good.
You know, I really don't have much else to report on. The Freddy Vs. Jason DVD comes out on Tuesday, so after that, I might actually shut up about it and keep my geekness to myself for a change. Anyways, I'm out. Later.
Friday, January 9, 2004; 12:53 p.m.
Wanna know something good about being a night owl? I managed to catch a really good movie on Cinemax last night (well, really around 2:00 this morning). What movie? A fun little indie movie from Canada called Ginger Snaps. I'm not really into werewolf movies, but this one rocked. A high-quality indie movie with a good cast, an original plot, plenty of bad-assery, and loads of dark humor equal a solid movie. And I might be mistaken, but you can't go wrong with any movie that features Freddy Vs. Jason's chain-smoking alcoholic Katherine Isabelle as a sexy teenage lycanthrope. A second viewing may change my opinion, but right now, I'll give Ginger Snaps four stars. I'm sure both goths and werewolf fans alike will enjoy this one. Joe Bob says check it out.
Might have some plans for tomorrow night, but none today. If something comes up, I'll let you know. Later.
Wednesday, January 7, 2004; 10:19 p.m.
Hey, here's an update, and I actually have stuff to talk about.
First things first, I have to apologize to a certain someone. I don't want to name names, but to this particular person, I want to tell you I'm sorry for everything, and I don't want it to happen again. I hope I can make it up to you somehow. For those of you who don't know who or what I'm talking about, don't ask. I don't want to talk about it with anybody but the involved parties. Understand? Good.
Secondly, I actually got out of the house and did something for a change. Me and Mo (who I think is the only friend I've got outside of the Internet) went out and played a few games of pool last night, and I won a few too. I'm not even very good at pool at all, either. Yay me. :)
And Mike, you are correct: Swimfan does suck. It's like Fatal Attraction on some harsh crack. But The Ring is good, so you can just bite my shiny metal butt.
From The Rumor Mill (via Creature-Corner.com): Sony is considering a remake (read: "complete re-imagining") of the 1980 slasher Prom Night, which starred Jamie Lee Curtis. The rumor mill tells me that they're thinking of a possible release date of late 2005. I've only seen bits and pieces of the original Prom Night, so I don't really have an opinion on this.
Not much else to report on, so bye.
Friday, January 2, 2004; 7:05 p.m.
Yo, the second update of the new year. And thank you to Penny for the kind words. I appreciate the award. :)
And we've got a new review up at Sutton At The Movies, too. This time it's the original Halloween, and you can read it HERE.
That's all I've got for now, so peace.
Thursday, January 1, 2004; 12:00 a.m.
Happy freakin' new year. I hope you're out having fun at your precious little New Year's party, but I'm stuck at home on my butt because nobody likes me enough to throw a party to invite me to. No-good butthole friends...
Anyway, happy new year to you and yours. :)
